winter suicide plan

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*2013.10.1226°The weather is sunny and cool*

The 43rd day of my crush on Chen Shuning.

After the moot court, I went to the square for dinner with my classmates, and I met Chen Shuning.

A group of people in their dormitory also seemed to be here for dinner, but it was almost eleven o'clock in the evening, when we were leaving for dinner, I saw Chen Shuning leave the team and take the elevator to the top floor.Holding the phone, he frowned and said goodbye to them with a stiff smile.

I remember that there is only a long corridor on the top floor, and some art training classrooms. At this point, it has been closed for get off work, and there is no one there.

I told Li Jingyuan that I left something behind and went back to look for it. They drank some wine and nodded, then took the escalator down the stairs.

I'm about a few meters away from Chen Shuning, it's strange that he didn't notice me, the lights above have been turned off, only the moonlight coming in from the window, I've never had such a strong desire to follow Chen Shuning, he will always be in my heart with ease, I have never seen such an expression on his face.

He held the phone and was only a listener. He didn't know what was being said on the other end of the phone, but I knew that Chen Shuning was crying.

It's not hysterical, but very quiet, tears come out of the eyes and fall freely on the ground.One drop after another, not long after, he hummed lightly, looked at the phone for a while, and dropped the phone on the ground, the sound of glass shattering resounded in the corridor.

Chen Shuning went to pick up the phone, held the phone in his hands, squatted down, buried his face in his knees, and began to cry hysterically, like the noise made by a broken machine, pulling the blood foam in his body.I've never heard Chen Shuning cry, I can only stand where I am, I stay in the dark, I... have no right to ask him what's wrong.

After a long time, he cried so hard that he couldn't breathe, covering his neck and mouth, he stood up staggeringly, probably crying for too long.He knelt down and started to vomit, almost vomited, began to tremble, touched his pockets, but finally fell to the ground with weakness.

I didn't care about anything else, I ran over, his glasses fell into the darkness, I helped him up, I saw his face clearly by the moonlight, his face was pale under the moonlight, only The end of the eye is red, the eye is puffy, and the face is full of tears.

The body is so heavy that I can't move him.

For the first time so powerless.

I had no choice but to turn him over and smelled a heavy alcohol smell on his body, it seemed that he had drunk a lot.

He was lying on the cold floor without saying a word. He was afraid that there was someone here, and his mind was in a muddle right now, so he didn't realize it.

I was beating my heart and tried to talk to him. I asked him if he still wanted to vomit, but he seemed to be asleep and didn't reply me a word. I took out a tissue to clean up the dirt. Chen Shuning was wearing blue Long-sleeved white, lying down and down like this.

I threw all the tissues into the trash can and came back to see him curled up on the ground, holding his head and sobbing softly.I really want to ask him why he is so sad.

But in what capacity do I ask him.

Classmate or friend?

He didn't even know my name. In the 42 days since he came to the school, we were able to talk face to face only three times. One was at the welcome meeting for freshmen, one was when handing in homework, and the third time was this time. There was no real conversation.

But I wanted to pull him into my arms, because he looked very painful, but I felt helpless, so I asked him, "Do you want me to buy you some hangover medicine?"

After a while, a voice was squeezed out of his throat, he hummed, and I continued happily, then wait for me here.He hummed again.

But when I got back from the pharmacy, he was gone.

I looked at the empty corridor, squeezed the mineral water, and suddenly began to feel sad, my heart was secretly numb and sore.

I like Chen Shuning, but I won't be sad.

But when I started thinking that Chen Shuning would also like me, I realized that a secret love can be so heartbreaking.

I searched with my mobile phone in the dark and found his glasses. I thought that by using the glasses, he could get to know me well, and we would have communication.

But in the end I didn't. When I went back, I went to the classroom and secretly put the cleaned glasses in the drawer of his desk.

In fact, I hesitated for a long time, but I finally felt that I would not appear in front of him.

For the sake of selfishness, let him know that his secret was discovered, so that Chen Shuning will hate me.

I'd rather he didn't know me than be someone he hates in his heart.

Tailgating was something I did wrong. He went to the top floor in order not to be discovered.

I think he will be very troubled by my appearance. No one wants to be seen in such a mess, let alone a stranger who hasn't said a word.When I saw that pair of glasses returned to their original owners and lying in the belly of the table, I realized that I had broken the only bridge that would connect me with Chen Shuning.

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Tang Fengxing's diary perspective to see the date of the diary clearly