don't like me

There is a restaurant nearby, which is the place where I brought Tong Jin, and today I brought my teacher here too.

I haven't seen you for so many years, so I really should catch up on the old days.

But why a restaurant and not a hotel?

I prefer privacy, that's where the two of us should be.

After coming in, he asked me to sit down in a place, the waiter delivered the menu, he passed it to me, the teacher is still very good to me, you see, take care of my feelings.

I ordered a few dishes decently, and then drove away the waiter, don't bother me, this is my nobleman.

"I just thought it wasn't you..." The teacher said nervously, "Your appearance has changed a lot."

"Then you can recognize it all the time. You are indeed my mentor." I was so angry that he was not a child, so he would definitely understand.

He didn't look me in the eyes, stared at the table, and didn't respond to my sarcasm, he just said with concern: "How have you been all these years?"

"Food well, dress warmly, and sleep soundly, not bad." I looked at him, and my brows lost the charm of the past, "You have changed a lot."

He used to be a very popular musician and a teacher hired by the principal at a high price. He enjoys a great reputation in our school. He is professional and passionate about music. All the students who have taken his class love him. Full of praise, in his twenties, so young, enjoying such a high status, and excellent strength, once made him unwilling to collude with others.

Always looks arrogant.

His brows are sharp, and one look can shock the audience. His classes, his performances, and the students he brought out, no matter whether he likes his teaching method or not, they will not slander him as a person, just say It's just weird, musicians and artists are always different from ordinary people.

It's gone now, his eyes can't frighten people anymore, let alone the whole audience, I won't eat any of them.

"I've... been complicated over the years." His hands must have clenched into fists under the table, because his right arm looked suddenly stiff.

"Wife and divorce?" I picked up the hot tea on the table, "Or it's complicated."

He raised his head, and the face in his 20s has aged too much in the past ten years. Now that I have reached his prime age, he looks older than my dad, with wrinkles on his face.

"I know you didn't forgive me." His right arm relaxed a little, "I asked someone to inquire about this time I came to see you."

"Miss me?" I was not serious.

He seems to have a hard time adapting to me. An obedient student and a naughty youth are two different things. Everyone who knows me will talk about my changes when they see me now. I am no longer surprised.

No matter how puzzled he is, he has to slowly figure it out, maybe people will become different when they grow up, and I am the same, only the change is bigger.

After he figured it out, he continued, "I was wrong about what happened back then. I drank that day, so..."

"So you confessed wrong?" He brought it up on his own initiative, so I can't blame me, if I don't reply, it will be rude.

"No." He looked at me with sincere eyes, "There is no such thing as admitting mistakes."

What does it mean?It's hard for me to pick up.

He seems to be doing some psychological construction, and he is silent with complicated emotions. It is difficult for me to answer what he throws at me, so I don’t plan to reply. Listening to him, seeing his embarrassed look, I am very surprised .

Also very nice.

"I'm no longer a teacher." He lowered his head, put his hands on his lap and clenched them into fists, "and I haven't touched the piano again."

"Ah... don't you like it anymore?" I said, "I still remember that you really love the piano, and you gave up so easily..."

"It's because of you," the teacher suddenly raised his head and met my gaze, his eyes were no longer as sharp as before, "Sorry, I don't know what to say, other than that..."

Why do I feel like he's about to cry?

His voice trembled, and his face under the light was a bit vicissitudes. Coupled with his expression, it was hard not to remind people of a wandering beggar.

"I don't know what to say, so listen to me?" I asked for his opinion, but he remained silent, so I took it as my agreement.

I looked at him and asked, "Does your wife know?"

He said, "She knows."

I continued to ask, "Did you blame me?"

He didn't answer.

As if I suddenly remembered, I said, "Oh, I forgot, she should only blame me, how could anyone blame you? When there were scandals about our teacher-student relationship in the school, you were still a famous school with a family and status. Graduated as a top student, and at that time, I was in a relationship with a boy, no matter who heard about our scandal, they would only think that I was dishonest and hooked up with you, right?"

He has a family, a teacher with a teacher's morality, he is aloof, except for his strict teaching methods, there is nothing worthy of slander, but I am an enemy of the whole school, and other people say that he is a nondescript homosexual. I was the one who hooked up with Yang Xiao. My teacher is also me, and Gu Ming, why is Gu Ming willing to play with me?From then on, everyone always thought that my ability is great because I can hook up with people.

I pretended not to hear these voices, and never came out to deny them. With so many mouths, I couldn’t finish clarifying them. What’s more, when something happened at home, I left. It happened not long after my affair with the teacher was broken. leaving is tantamount to absconding.

It is justifiable to confirm the rumor that I hooked up with others, and I have no face to stay in this school.

Before being exposed by Yang Xiao, some classmates asked me why the music teacher took extra care of me and why he looked at me so affectionately. After this incident happened, they must have an answer.

The teacher remained silent because I was right and he didn't know how to reply.

I said: "That's great. After all, you are a teacher, and you have a family. Your reputation is more important..."

"I'm divorced." He interrupted me suddenly, which I didn't expect.

He squeezed his hands tightly, "You don't need to speculate, this matter has been clarified."

He was taken to the hospital, so many people came, there was no surveillance in the music room, all the truth can only be drawn from our mouths.

I didn't say anything, Yang Xiao left.

Later, when I left the school, I didn't know how far this matter had escalated. I thought about it, and I knew that Yang Xiao couldn't say it. It was quite embarrassing. He definitely didn't mention a word. What would the teacher say?I would never say...he fell by himself.

"They came to ask me at the time, but I didn't say anything, I was a little cowardly, I didn't dare to say, I have a family, you know," he told me with difficulty about things I didn't know afterwards, "I just made up a reason It was prevaricated, but later, everyone still found something unusual..."

I disappeared from school. Yang Xiao became abnormal from that day on, irritable and irritable. He even didn’t come to school for several days. Dare to approach him.

The smart students insisted that what happened that night was not that simple, they got together back and forth, and the suspicion of a teacher-student relationship was widely circulated in the school.

"Things are getting worse and worse, I can't do anything about it." He said: "One time after school, he and several people stopped me by the side of the road and threatened me to clarify the facts."

"Wait," I raised my hand, "He asked you to clarify?"

The teacher gave me a guilty look, and said, "Yes, you had the most dirty water at that time, and you were not around...so I am the only one who can say this is the most credible."

I look back, the desktop is also vague in my eyes, and my mind is thinking about other things.

clarify?for me?Yeah?

Didn't he not believe me, and asked others to clarify something?No wonder, no wonder none of the old classmates mentioned this incident when they met me, and Han Yizhou never mentioned it. The reason behind this turned out to be that the dirty water was not on my body.

Let a married woman with a successful career disclose that she has done such a thing?What method did Yang Xiao use? I'm really curious. I don't think my teacher is afraid of this kind of brat. He is ten years older than us. How could he have nothing to do with Yang Xiao?

"What method did he use?" I asked, expressing my attitude: "Don't say it's because you are afraid of him, I don't think so."

The teacher sighed, fell into the memory, let me down and said: "That's it, I'm afraid."

I narrowed my eyes, raised my eyebrows and said, "Afraid? Are you afraid of him? Teacher, do you still remember what you told me back then? The teachers at the school just don't want to argue with you, otherwise, who can escape."

"That's what I said, but let's have something to do with it," he said nervously, "He's a madman, he threatened me with my daughter's life."

At the time, I thought I was deaf.

The teacher didn't notice my strangeness, and was still in a state of panic. He picked up the tea on the table and squeezed it tightly in his hand, "This matter is very complicated. Generally speaking, he already knows the heights of the world. I It's because he's a student, it's because..."

He glanced at me, paused, and continued: "Looking at your relationship with him, I ruined you and didn't want to ruin him again, so I didn't call the police, otherwise, he must have ended badly."

He didn't mention the consequences, he didn't need to be so clear, otherwise he would be in trouble, it's as simple as that, kidnapping, blackmailing?What is the specific situation, I don't know yet.

He continued: "He gave me three days to clarify at the school meeting that I did not abide by the teacher's morality and did something unethical to you. If I don't do this..."

The teacher closed his eyes, "He will burn my daughter to death."

Han Yizhou said, after I left, Yang Xiao went crazy. I never asked how he went crazy. I thought it was more fighting and violating school rules. This was a way to vent his anger, but he didn’t think about it. However, it will be so explosive.

I should have asked more, and I should have guessed, his temper is so fierce, how can he vent his anger so easily.

Not to mention threatening the teacher's daughter, even at that time, he couldn't hide his murderous intentions in front of me, didn't I just get provoked by him like that?He also asked me what I was panicking about. He thought it was my worry about the teacher. Did he know that? He was as vicious as a murderer. The blood on the floor looked like a crime scene.

What am I panicking about?In a hurry, you killed someone and went to jail, and you will never be there again in this life.

My eyes were empty, my soul left, and I said mechanically: "So it's not him, and you still don't intend to clarify."

"No, I thought about it, but I didn't think about it then." The teacher smiled bitterly: "I know, what I say now is like an excuse, but I hope you know one thing, since you disappeared, I have been looking for you There are not only your boyfriend, but also me, but the teacher has nothing, and it is very difficult to find someone, unlike him, he has found you a long time ago, and I only asked someone to ask your whereabouts now."

The teacher looked at me with pity in his eyes: "If you were here back then, I would take responsibility and clarify. No matter how much you question my humanity and morality as a teacher, there is one thing you will never doubt, that is my love for music and for you. expectations."

I am the most satisfying work among so many students he has taught. He also said that in the future, I will definitely succeed in my studies, step on the big stage, and make my own name. He once whispered a lot of expectations in my ear His words are all sincere.

But now, he is no longer educating people, and I have no achievements.

My dreams and his expectations were all swept into the trash can on a drunken night.

"I believe that you can make achievements, maybe go further than me. You are talented and willing to work hard. I don't allow anyone to stop your way forward. Your boyfriend doesn't allow it, and neither can I. So, as long as You are still here, as long as you need, I can clarify this matter at any time and clear all obstacles for you." He looked at me with regret, "Why did you leave?"

The hard work that was wasted, as his most proud work, pinned his infinite expectations, but suddenly left, it is not a blow to a teacher, but to a person who is obsessed with music.

"I haven't touched the piano for many years, and my heart is not pure, so I don't deserve to play it anymore," he muttered to himself, "I also disbanded my family, and left everything to the mother and son. Except for me, Everyone is fine, it's my atonement."

He raised his head, his gaze was no longer as simple as looking at a student. His beard hadn't been shaved for a few days, and he smelled like a tramp. He said regretfully, "You must think I'm weird, right? Just like those students said I play like a lunatic when I play the piano, my ex-wife said the same, and my daughter doesn't understand it, except you...no one seems to understand me."

I didn't argue, and I didn't nod yes.

I just looked at this vicissitudes of the cheek, without sympathy, pity, or sarcasm, looking down, just like looking at an old person.

"In life, except for music, there is nothing that really attracts me, but the world is too complicated. I want to get married, have to have children, raise a family, raise parents, and many red tape rules. If I can, I really want to ignore the worldly perspective, like Like Strickland, throw everything away and go after what you want, it doesn't matter if you have nothing..."

"Aren't you right now?" Isn't the one sitting in front of me?Before he finished speaking, I thought of this warrior who was chasing the moon.

He shook his head and smiled stiffly, "I'm nothing anymore, my family is gone, my reputation is gone, my dreams are gone, I've been messed up by the world, I don't deserve to have any dreams, but you are different."

I don't know what gave him confidence, is it the music he loves?Was it his unfulfilled expectations?He raised his head and even proposed a ridiculous idea to me: "Wen Zhixing, you are different, you still have a chance, you can abandon everything to pursue your dream like Strickland, okay? Something happened, let's start again, let's work hard together for the dream at that time, okay..."

"No," I interrupted him resolutely. He became more and more agitated, and he was even crazier than I imagined. He regarded him as a lunatic, and I said: "First, I have loved music before, and I have loved it sincerely, but I have never been as crazy as you. Second, it is your dream, not mine. Third, I did not only The courage to pursue the moon is not necessary. I will not abandon everything I have. In my world, there are too many things that are more important than music. I can’t let go of many people. Do you think I can accompany you? Are you going to wander?"

He's crazy, is he the one who's crazy now?

My respect for him is gone, and my admiration has completely disappeared. I once developed feelings for him because of his attitude towards music that cannot tolerate sand, but now this attitude makes people fearful and even a little disgusting.

He said I was his work, he wanted to push me to the stage, or to a higher level, cultivate me with heart, I am grateful, but now, he wants me to give up everything, everything, and everything I have now for his dream Everything, chasing a misty and illusory dream, I find it ridiculous and disgusting.

They are always like this, for their own purposes, regardless of my life or death, as if they were tools from birth, as if all my shining places are for the achievement of others.

I want to climb up because I don't want to struggle in the mud or worry about material life. What I want is a secure future, with Wen Zhixu, and no worries about food and clothing.

But there are always people who want to add dreams to me, add the weight of life, and add a higher meaning of living to me.

"You have been looking for me all these years for this. What gave you such confidence and made you believe that my love for music has always been consistent." I stood up.

His face was deep, and his eyes followed my movements.

"Teacher, there is only one person who can be Strickland, and that is you." I walked to him, supported the chair, bent down, and blew the wind in his ear: "Because now, what do you dream of?" Yes, it's worthless to me."

He turned his head hastily, his eyes filled with water vapor showed confusion and bewilderment.

His eyes reflected me, the 29-year-old me.

His gaze, trying to find something, was about to eat me through and dismantle me, but even then, he couldn't find the appearance of the most proud work in his memory.

People change, just like him, inexplicably.

I wiped his face with the back of my hand, walked around his face, and held his chin. I admired this face that was older than my father, and said: "I used to be ignorant of you Mind, do you know?"

He didn't dare to show his anger. Ever since I rejected his proposal, he has become dull.

I seemed to be talking to myself, "You must not know that your beloved student also had love for you."

I said regretfully: "But you are married, what a pity, I can only choose a boy who is not valued, you know how much I love you."

"Really..." He looked at me eagerly.

My nose and his were almost touching, so close that many people looked at him, until I met his eyes and suddenly smiled, "You really believe it."

I laughed mischievously a few times, fearing that I might not stimulate others, I continued to follow his ears, "How come? Think about it, no matter how bad he is, his appearance and age are even better? Then we will be young , the control is low, I couldn't help it a few times, I even had sex with him in the piano room without telling you..."

His pupils suddenly dilated.

A sacred place that cannot be trampled on is the piano room. Students dare not eat in it, and they will be kicked out even if they talk too much. It is all the rules of our strange teacher. Now when he hears that someone has done something like this How could he endure such indecent things?

Finally he was angry, the emotion in his eyes was no longer dull, extreme anger came up, and the bloodshot eyes showed a murderous look with difficulty.

"You nonsense!" He grabbed my collar, as if he wanted to punch me. I didn't move, and I didn't make fun of this aging face. I didn't make defensive gestures, just because I knew , now he can't threaten me.

I looked at him, imitated his appearance, and said sincerely: "It's a pity, I didn't lie about this matter."

He grabbed me and broke down.

The most perfect work is never pure.

You don't need to go to great lengths to force an adult to death.

It only takes a few words to kill a fanatical artist.

His works, his painstaking efforts, his great love and expectations are different from him-respect for music.

The author has something to say:

Ruthless Wen Zhixing.

Werewolf Yang Xiao.

Summary: None of them are human.