no one save me

Brother Qi is dead.

When I heard this news, I was sorting out some things related to Brother Qi, and then I got this news. I felt like I accidentally touched a prank, but it may also be an auditory hallucination. It’s too outrageous, really It's outrageous.

But, not this time.

All luck was crushed in front of his corpse. If the forensic doctor hadn't said that this was his corpse, I would never have believed that it was him. In my memory, he was handsome, handsome, rebellious, and his brows and eyes were transparent. Even if he is sick, he is pale and indifferent.

It's definitely not like this unrecognizable corpse lying in the morgue. I almost gritted my teeth and saw that his sternum was broken. I hardly dare to think about how he became like this, I desperately want to escape from this nightmare.

This must be a nightmare, I just haven't seen him for a few days, I just think how can I get him back, I'm just... how could he be like this, and not even give me the slightest chance.

But no matter how much I tried to struggle out of this nightmare, I wanted to escape frantically, but I was forced to accept it in the end. I don't know what he went through. The indescribable pain almost tortured me die.

I don't remember how I reacted at the time, but after hearing that, I thought it was crazy.

I think I'm really crazy, I might as well be crazy, or rather, I might as well be dead.

I thought we still had a lot of time, many years, but actually even a second was too much to ask for. I haven't even asked his forgiveness yet, and all I have to do with him is that photo.

Yes, that picture, that picture I was so proud of, ended up being the picture that cut all ties between me and him, and I hate that picture, but it's the only picture I have of him .

It's ironic to say that I was the one who used him as a stand-in to take photos, and I was the one who regretted it. The only photo left, the identity in the photo, he was not himself... I was on the verge of collapse.

When Zuo Lin passed away, I thought I would break down, but I didn't.

I used to think that after I lost Zuo Qi, I would be fine, but when this day came, I realized that it almost killed me, and I realized that I would never find him again, even if I knelt I pray on the ground, even if I kowtow to death, I will never see him again, not even his disgusted eyes.

It turns out that the distance more terrifying than love and hate is life and death, and no one can bridge it, but why is he the one who died, and why not me.

I was almost in a daze, and I don’t know how long it took. When I recalled that time, my parents told me that Zuo Qi’s funeral was over, but no one knew where he was buried. His parents, Lu Qiao , Shen Jiajia, I thought the people who knew it turned out not to know it.

I don't know why, I suddenly wanted to laugh, we all lost, no one was a winner.

Because he's gone, he's really gone, I fucking really lost him... I really... I really lost him...

I sat on the ground, leaning against the wall, holding the only photo left, curled up in this corner like a crazy person, I don’t know what I have to do to see him again, I’m really too Miss him, I really miss him so much, I want to see him, just once, please, let me see him.

I miss him... I think he's going crazy.

"Yihang, he's already gone, don't do this..."

"You made him crazy! What's the difference between him and a lunatic now!"

I heard the cries and roars of my parents mixed together, but I didn't have the strength to distinguish them. I just wanted to see Brother Qi desperately.

I want to see him, I must see him, I must also see him... I just want him all my life, I don't want anyone, I don't want anyone... I want to see him.

I went to attend the trial of this case. I saw the murderer was sentenced to death. I saw the faces of those accomplices passing by. I saw the man named Wang Lele. He was the most direct and fundamental reason. But he is only 15 years old, he is not full, he cannot be sentenced to death!

He cannot be sentenced to death!

I hate it to death. If I had a knife in my hand, I would have stabbed that knife into his throat. I almost wanted to tear him to pieces, but I didn't have anything, and there was a bailiff next to him. There was a judge in front of him, and the underage was like a gold medal for avoiding death on his head. He passed in front of me with a look of haggardness and luck that couldn't be concealed.

I fucking... I'm gonna fucking kill him!

I saw Shen Jiajia's screams and howls, and I also saw the vigilant eyes of the bailiffs. I knew very well that I couldn't be like Shen Jiajia.

Give him a great gift.

I want him to regret his arrival.

He is 15 years old this year, freshman in high school, three years later, another good age for the college entrance examination, but he is different from others, Wang Lele is not worthy, he has Brother Qi's blood on his hands, and he is carrying Brother Qi on his back life.

I'll be on his side, waiting for him to come.

In three years, I found my only direction and goal for the next three years. I almost emptied my mind and left the court very calmly. After almost hysterical madness, I found a tortuous but only direction.

I am not for atonement, I can no longer atone for the sin, the person I was waiting for has been buried in the soil, even if I spend my whole life, I will not be able to look at him again, all the bad things that have happened to me have become the only one Extravagant hope is the driving force for me to carry on.

The ridiculous thing is that when I separated from Brother Qi, when we were in high school and went to college, those memories were once the evidence of "we were in love" in Brother Qi's mouth. I am even afraid that as time goes by, I will slowly forget the memories of the day, so I deepen the memory over and over again every day, and try my best not to forget every bit.

There really isn't much left between Brother Qi and me, and I can't afford to lose anything.

I tried to find Xiao Zhu, but she refused to tell me where Brother Qi was, no matter whether it was money or begging her.

Later, Xiao Zhu left here. She changed her number, her job, and her address. It was as if she had disappeared from the world.

If years ago, I knew there would be such a day, maybe I wouldn't mess with him at all, I love him, I want him alive, I realized for the first time that love is not predatory, but this is already after I lost him understand things.

It's really too late.

Three years, I will last another three years.

Brother Qi, wait for me for three years, wait for me, I promise I won't miss the appointment again.

The author has something to say:

I'm sorry, I'm sober, forget everything I've just seen.forget it forget it!

Hey, goodbye! [This is going to live on the moon in a rocket, goodbye! 】