no one save me

"Although I know you don't want to be hospitalized, I think it's better to be hospitalized for your situation." Dr. Xu wrote on the medical record with a pen, without raising his head, "This disease is not incurable. disease, but it is indeed very troublesome and requires long-term cultivation, and avoids injuries, large emotional fluctuations, and... the mortality rate of this disease is very high, you have missed the best treatment period, and now every day is for you , will be very valuable.”

I sat up and tidied up my clothes. I understand what Dr. Xu said, but this kind of thing is nothing worth being obsessed with for me now.

"Zuo Qi." Doctor Xu stopped me. He looked at me and said seriously: "Is life not attractive to you? Do you know how many people are struggling on the hospital bed, how many people are kneeling in front of the hospital, how many People can kowtow to death for a little medical expenses, you don’t need anything, as long as you cooperate with my treatment, do you want to give up?”

"I didn't give up." I corrected his statement, thought for a while and added: "It's just that this matter doesn't really appeal to me."

I don't want to die, but I don't want to live reluctantly either.

When I came out of the consulting room, I wanted to get the medicine, but Shen Jiajia insisted on getting it by myself, so I sat on the bench to rest. I had no choice but to let her go, and let the bodyguards follow her by the way.

In fact, before this, I never brought bodyguards with me, but after Uncle Shen passed away, I knew very well what I was going to face next, so I had to plan everything as soon as possible.

It’s no surprise that you will meet Lu Qiao in the hospital. After all, Wang Bo also lives in this hospital. Speaking of Wang Bo, I don’t know what happened to Wang Bo after the last time, and I haven’t paid attention to this aspect. information.

Lu Qiao saw me sitting on the bench, so he came over. He was a little thinner than before, and his complexion was not good-looking. He hesitated and asked me: "Zuo Qi..."

"Huh?" I responded and said with a smile, "Boss Lu is here too."

He obviously didn't like this name, but he couldn't do anything, his face turned green and pale, and after a while he asked, "What's the matter with your hair?"

Every person who comes will ask me once, I think I should go and shave my hair as soon as possible.

"You..." He looked at me, hesitated for a moment before saying, "Can we talk?"

What he said was nothing more than the previous relationship problems, and I was almost numb to this.

"Are you coming to the hospital today... because you feel unwell?" He asked me.

"Come to review." I glanced at the time and tried my best to end the topic before Shen Jiajia came up.

"Doctor Xu..." Before he finished asking, I interrupted him: "Mr. Lu, I have other arrangements here. If you don't have any other important matters, please contact Xiaozhu directly. I think we There shouldn't be anything more to talk about."

"Then you have to tell me, what's the matter with your hair? Why is it white?" He looked at me and said word by word: "Is there something you're hiding from me? Is there something wrong with you?"

"No." I sighed: "And it has nothing to do with you."

When Shen Jiajia came, Lu Qiao hadn't finished speaking, but there was another person who came with Shen Jiajia. Wang Bo looked at Lu Qiao, and Lu Qiao looked at me. I saw Wang Bo shift his gaze to me, and seemed to be about to ask about my hair. I immediately got up and dragged Shen Jiajia away.

After returning home, Shen Jiajia still had to pack her things. She had to go to class the next day and was going back to Beijing in the afternoon.

"I don't want to go back." Sitting in the dining room, she poked the food on the plate once and for all: "How can I go back with confidence when you look like this now?"

"I'm in my 20s, don't I know how to take care of myself?" Seeing her grown-up appearance, I couldn't help laughing: "I'll pick you up when you finish the exam."

"Are you still talking?" She looked at me and tilted her head slightly: "The will is ready, how much truth can you say?"

"Many people will make a will when they are alive, and this is normal." Children nowadays are not easy to be fooled. When I answer her question, I have to think clearly before saying: "This has nothing to do with whether I count or not."

"It does matter." Shen Jiajia's character was a bit stubborn, she looked at me: "You have to live to take care of me, if you are like my dad, what's the use of having more money?"

Shen Jiajia is only in the third year of junior high school. She has to finish the exam and go to the first year of senior high school after this summer vacation. But what she has experienced is far beyond what a junior high school student can bear. I look at her, maybe we have too much difference in background I can't calmly say "what's the use of having so much money", at least I couldn't say this when I was in the third year of junior high school.

But in some respects, we are inexplicably similar.

When sending her to the plane, she hugged me at the airport and buried her head in my chest. I raised my hand tentatively, trying to comfort her, but Shen Jiajia suddenly took a step back: "Then you remember Come pick me up."

I smiled and replied, "Okay."

Even if she doesn't want to mention Uncle Shen, I still have to say that I promised Uncle Shen, at least now I will do well.

When I got out of the airport, I stopped by the company. Xiao Zhu was still on vacation and the company was busy. After the cooperation with the Lu Group was terminated, we needed to change a partner, at least not to cause losses to the company because of my personal relationship issues.

But I didn't expect to see Jiang Yihang downstairs in the company. I thought this person would have no face to appear in front of me again.

"Brother Qi." He was wearing a gray shirt. There was a trace of melancholy on the face I was so obsessed with. He looked at me with a haggard look: "What's wrong with your hair...?"

When other people ask me, I just feel a little overwhelmed, and when he asks, I just want to laugh.

Let him have fun, that is, now, my temper has improved a lot, and I really don't have the energy to toss with him anymore. If I knew about this two or three years ago, he and I would definitely have to lie in the grave go.

"Brother Qi, what's wrong with your hair?" He asked me again, with a hint of disbelief in his eyes.

"It's none of your business?" I couldn't help but sneer: "Jiang Yihang, people have self-knowledge. I haven't gone to much school, but I know this sentence. Where the hell did you get out of here? Don't put disgusting people in front of me."

His face turned pale little by little in my gaze, and he said after a while: "I came this time to explain this matter to you. I admit that I was at fault. For a while, I also wanted to confess .”

"...the security guard." Before he could finish speaking, I called the security guard directly. I didn't want to hear his voice anymore, and my stomach, which had been motionless before, also turned up at this moment, with cramping pain.

I can almost feel the cold sweat on my back. Every time I see him, nothing good happens.

"Brother Qi!" Jiang Yihang called me, he stepped forward to stop me, gritted his teeth and said: "But it was all wrong, wrong, I thought I was using you as a substitute, I don't like you, It's just because Zuo Lin was with you, but when you were with Lu Qiao later, I was so jealous that I almost went crazy, I wanted to kill him, brother Qi, I was wrong."

I sighed deeply, waved my hands, and went back to the office, but he was dragged out by the security guards, I didn't want to see him again, even if it was a little bit of sound.

I don't know what kind of luck it is today. I met Lu Qiao and Wang Bo in the morning, Jiang Yihang in the afternoon, and my parents in the evening. In fact, I have been avoiding Mr. Zuo and Ms. Lin. Whether to manage or not to ask, just ensure that they have no worries about food and clothing.

I thought they thought so too. After all, I came here all these years ago. I obviously have parents, but my life is not as good as that of an orphan.

The office is spacious and bright. The first thing I do is smoke a cigarette. I don’t know why. I’m getting more and more anxious these days. I can feel it myself. Every minute I stop makes me doubt myself. I don’t even dare to stand in front of Shen Jiajia. show up.

She left here and returned to Beijing, which is a relief to me.

The acidic water churning in my stomach made me rush into the bathroom. With the cigarette I just lit in one hand, I lay down on the sink and vomited. Straight to Venus, after vomiting, the whole person lost all strength and kept panting.

The face of the person in the mirror was as pale as paper, and the nosebleed just flowed down the nasal cavity. I lowered my head and let the blood fall drop by drop into the sink in the bathroom. The sound of breathing was so heavy that I could even hear myself Clearly.

After a while, I turned on the faucet, rinsed it, covered my mouth and nose, and when I looked in the mirror again, I had the illusion that I was looking at another person, from the brow bone, to the bridge of the nose, to the chin, face shape, cheekbones... ...Is it me, do I look like this?

At that moment, I looked away unnaturally, always feeling that I was being peeped by the person in the mirror.

The phone vibrated next to me, and I covered my mouth and nose to answer it. Ms. Lin and the others had no other purpose, just to tell me that grandma's death day would be two days away, and they wanted to go to burn incense sticks and pay homage to grandma.

I answered and hung up the phone. The blood in my nose almost soaked the towel.

I stood in front of the mirror for a long, long time. I looked at myself in the mirror, which was both familiar and unfamiliar. I forced myself to look at him. I told myself repeatedly, "Look at what you are now, this is you, this is what you look like now." , I said this over and over until I couldn't say any more.

I saw that the eyes of the person in the mirror were red, and I saw his pale face was full of tears, and I suddenly realized that it was me.

I felt a little ridiculous and a little sad in my heart. I lived to be in my 20s, but in the end I still lived in such a mess. I was deceived again and again, and in the end it turned out that it was wrong in the first place.

I used to firmly believe that no matter what happens, at least I will not regret it. Even if Jiang Yihang cheated at the beginning, I was just disgusted and disgusted, but now, I realized that I lost the ability to hate a person, and the rest It is an inexplicable void.

why?

Why... to live.

If it's dead... If it's dead... If it's dead, don't you need to be so embarrassing.

I heard the person in the mirror asking me, I looked at him, opened my mouth, but couldn't say anything.

The author has something to say:

感谢在2022-03-2122:49:08~2022-03-2221:01:37期间为我投出霸王票或灌溉营养液的小天使哦~

Thanks to the little angel of the irrigation nutrient solution: Jumang 28 bottles; 554454802 bottles;

Thank you very much for your support, I will continue to work hard!