no one save me

Facts have proved that I overestimated my body and underestimated the after-effects of the operation. It didn’t feel good to step on the ground. In fact, if it wasn’t for Jiang Yihang’s grandson, I wouldn’t have missed the stairs.

The grandson's voice suddenly rose, almost screaming, "Brother Qi!"

I could hear my bones colliding on the steps, making the sound of toothache, the momentary pain made me break out in a cold sweat... Sure enough, nothing good happened when I met Jiang Yihang.

It is probably because our birthday horoscopes are inconsistent, and being together is the biggest mistake.

It's good to separate, or one of them will die sooner or later.

Jiang Yihang seemed to be frightened. He quickly blocked my way, stretched out his hand stiffly, with obvious blood stains on his palm, and said in a trembling voice, "What's wrong with you? Where are you injured?"

If I hadn't seen him through long ago, if it hadn't been for the bedroom that hasn't been dealt with yet, I'm afraid I really thought he had a deep affection for me.You see, how good his acting skills are, otherwise I wouldn't have made me willing to be cheap for so many years.

"Jiang Yihang, it's good to get together and get together, don't fucking follow me, is it over?" I really don't want to continue this relationship, it's too tired, it's too tired, I feel like I'm fucking Like an idiot, I actually believed the nonsense that he loves me.

Am I sick?Can two men, together, believe in love?

Jiang Yihang asked stubbornly, "Let me see your wound, let's go to the hospital... Did you fight with someone outside again?"

"Fuck!" I took a deep breath, the wound hurt suddenly, "Get lost."

In addition to this, say one more word, I feel exhausted physically and mentally.

Every word this person said made me feel sour. Anyone who loves on the surface will say that even if it has reached this point, he still has to do enough superficial work, but I have given up.

The car must not be able to drive, I limped out, everything here made me sick, including Jiang Yihang and his so-called friends.

The friend who can fuck and fuck.

"Mr. Zuo?" It was raining in the house, and it was unlucky to meet a competitor in this embarrassing situation. I was so tired that I could barely lift my head, so I heard him say, "This is? What's wrong?"

I was in so much pain that I could hardly speak, my stomach was churning constantly, and the bloody smell rushed up my throat, I was afraid that I would vomit blood as soon as I opened my mouth, it was too scary.

After all, Jiang Yihang didn't chase him out again, it was a way out for me and him, otherwise we couldn't guarantee that the ambulance and the police car would each take one away today.

There was darkness in front of my eyes, I knelt on the ground uncontrollably, and fell headlong.

In the first 23 years, it was like a joke. I made a mess of my life and was planted a green grassland on top of my head by someone who had loved me for so many years. I really felt... dead.

No father and no mother, and now even the loved ones and the place to live are gone. I am truly alone, and I will not bring it with me when I am born, and I will not take it with me when I die.

If there is a next life... no, let's do it, I'm tired.

When I woke up again, the smell of the disinfectant in the hospital was still so familiar. I was awakened by the pain. I subconsciously wanted to cover my abdomen, but someone grabbed my wrist.

"Don't move, Mr. Zuo is really lucky for the surgery you just had. I guess if it's later, we'll have to turn around and take you to see which cemetery has good Feng Shui."

I opened my eyes, and it took me a while to react, the whole person seemed to be half a beat behind.

"The fortune teller said that this month is not going well for me, so I have to give him more money."

I opened my mouth and wanted to say a word, but I didn't know what to say.

After all, this matter seems to be a bit embarrassing, at least I never thought that I would faint in front of someone else's car one day, and it's really fucking embarrassing

There were footsteps outside, probably because the operation was completed in the past two days, and the excessive blood loss affected my reaction speed. When I recovered, the door of the ward had been opened, and the doctor was the same as before. He looked at me and sighed, and said, "Don't let me leave the hospital, you have to leave the hospital yourself, okay now? Is there 24 hours? This is coming in again."

I thought that this doctor's eloquence probably came from the training class, and every word hit the point without giving me the slightest chance to refute.

Lu Qiao listened to me and couldn't help laughing. He stood up and looked at me, and said, "I didn't expect that there are times when Mr. Zuo is devastated, but...Mr. Zuo, two wounds are enough for you. "

I wanted to refute, but when I thought about the reason for the two incisions, I suddenly felt as if I had been sucked out of my whole body, lying on the bed, not wanting to say a word, my mind was in a mess, like Jiang Yihang for a while, and for a while It's a set that hasn't been cleaned up in the house.

I can't fucking say a single word....

The doctor's surname was Xu, and he said, "If you don't want to have a third surgery, you'd better just wait and recuperate. Your previous wound was opened and you had another surgery this time. You really think that surgery is just a joke. home?"

I heard Dr. Xu's words, but I didn't have the strength to respond. I can't describe how I feel now.

What I must say... I feel like a wild beast is imprisoned in my heart.

I'm in this cage, fighting a battle between trapped beasts, and I'm beaten to the bone.

I am not Dr. Xu's only patient. After he finished what a doctor should do and told me about my current situation, he left the ward. Hearing his footsteps getting farther and farther away, I felt a sense of relief for no reason. tone.

"I heard people say that Zuo always has a lover, and..." Before Lu Qiao finished speaking, I guessed what he wanted to say, and couldn't help laughing.

There are some things that I don’t want to hear from other people’s mouths. I would rather say it myself. Even if it’s a self-revealing scar, even if it hurts me so much that I can’t breathe, I still choose to say it myself.

"My lover is of the same sex, but now...he is not my lover anymore."

After saying this, I didn't feel the pain as I imagined, but I felt a stone pressing on my chest, which made me want to bend down.

Yes, Jiang Yihang is not mine anymore, and he has nothing to do with me in the future, since I saw another person appearing in my house with him, I should realize this - I am not a world with him people.

How sad.

I feel sorry for myself.

Lu Qiao obviously didn't expect me to say that, he froze for a moment, I could hear the cautiousness in his words, he said, "Break up?"

separated.

Completely divided.

I don't want to talk, I don't want to answer this question. I know this matter has nothing to do with Lu Qiao or anyone else. It was all scratched by gravel, and those words of anger, resentment, and pain were all swallowed by myself, and they were firmly pressed in my throat, preventing them from making a sound.

I am already ashamed enough, I can no longer continue to lose in front of others.

"I don't want to know about this either. Sorry, I mentioned something that made you unhappy." Lu Qiao said, "You... Forget it, I won't get involved in your own affairs."

Lu Qiao is a smart man.

When Lu Qiao left, he did tell me, but I was a little groggy, and I didn't know whether I answered or not. I only knew that after hearing the sound of closing the door, I couldn't bear it anymore. fell asleep.

As Dr. Xu said, surgery is not just a joke.

Actually, at that time, I really wanted to answer a question. I just played house-playing once, and to sum it up in one sentence...Are you in love?The deadly kind.

It's the kind that kills me.

After the anesthetic wears off, the wound started to hurt. I could bear it at first, but it woke me up from the sharp pain. I lay on the bed and started counting sheep. If I made a mistake, I started to count again. Later, it hurt me so much I didn't even want to count the sheep, I just gritted my teeth and endured.

I don't want to ring the bell, I don't want to find someone, I don't want to talk, I'm tired.

I just want to stay in this darkness, just me, let me stay quietly for a while, even if it hurts to death.

I don’t know what time it is, but my cell phone started to ring. I was a little sleepy just now, and I finally numb myself from the pain. When this thing vibrated, I woke up again. The wound hurts more and more. I'm upset.

I was wondering which grandson's phone is this?Calling in the middle of the night, there must be nothing good.

After finally struggling to get the phone over, I glanced at the caller ID on it, and it said "Yihang". In an instant, the pain seemed to explode, and it grew wildly. I felt that it wasn't the wound that was hurting, but my heart It hurts, like being grabbed by someone, and smashed hard, the pain makes me want to scream.

So fucking hurt.

Fuck it!Stupid stuff!

After scolding, I wanted to cry again.

grass!Useless!waste!What an idiot!grass!

I put the phone on the bed and didn't answer it. The screen of the phone lit up, illuminating the room. It rang loudly and vibrated little by little.

Didn't answer once.

Didn't answer twice.

Three times no answer...

I don't know how many times, the screen of the mobile phone turns on and goes off, turns off and turns on again, it seems to be in a constant cycle, and it seems that it will go silent in the next second.

All night, the phone rang all night, I turned the volume down to the minimum, listening to the barely audible sound, holding it in my hand, it was like struggling in a cage.

Look, this unknown beast is locked in this cage.

He is struggling, he is screaming.

No one can hear what he said, because he is a beast, he is not suitable for communication...

I don't know what I'm thinking about, I'm thinking in a mess, the pain of the wound seems to be almost ignored by me, I suddenly feel that the pain of the wound is actually better, the pain of the body is better than the pain of the heart.

There is still a layer of skin and bones between the heart, even if it hurts to split, I can't reach out and touch it, unless I tear the skin and break the bones, then I will almost die.

I raised my hand, like a ritual, looking at the invisible blood on my hand, thinking that it would be great if I had a knife in my hand, I would definitely stab it into my heart without hesitation, smashing my heart to pieces .

In the future, you will not know the pain.