Accumulate feathers sink the boat

The more Chen Min talked, the more excited she became. The past was like an old calendar, and the remark next to each number made her feel shocking.

"I know Dad loves you very much, loves you very much, and doesn't want you to suffer even the slightest bit of grievance. Is this possible? Is it realistic? People grow up in setbacks!

You learn to ride a bicycle, but you still can’t learn it after more than half a year. Why?Because your father was afraid that you would fall, so he refused to remove the two wheels at the back of the car.How about that?In the end, did I secretly unload it for you, and you learned it?

Yes, I fell a few times and broke my knee, but...but you learned how to ride a bicycle!Isn't that even better?Why don't you admit it?

The same goes for buying toys. Do you really think it is a good thing that Dad buys you so many toys every day?A child's attention span is so limited, and too many toys can easily lead to distraction, and sometimes even creative thinking may be affected.

I mentioned it to your dad countless times and he just refused to listen. He even blamed me for being stingy, saying that I didn't value you and wouldn't spend money on you.You see that you are easily distracted when doing things now, and you often do this and forget that. Is it because you played too many things when you were a child, so that everything you do takes 3 minutes? "

The trifles that once clearly existed in his mind, but for some reason were forgotten by him, were suddenly brought to him one by one by Chen Min.Lu Xiangzhou opened his eyes and recalled, for a while he felt that these were real, and for a while he felt that they must be in a dream.

"And the ones you have been complaining about. I am busy with work and I don't accompany you. Your father does everything at home. I think you were young and forgot many things, so I have been too lazy to mention it for so many years. .

But have you really never thought about it?Haven't thought about it even once?

Since I love my job so much and do my duty so hard, why should I go to school to be a teacher instead of a doctor in a hospital?Clinical experience is so important to a doctor. If I really love my work to the extreme, what reason can I have to retreat behind the scenes and just be a university professor with peace of mind? !

That's because I don't trust you! !I don't want you to be without your mother at such a young age!

At that time, the evaluation and appointment of my director was already in the process. Women and children wanted to establish outposts of prenatal and postnatal care in various districts, and let me be the general manager. What a great opportunity this is?But I thought that you just learned to walk, and you have to be led and supported wherever you go every day. If you miss this period, you may never hold my hand again and ask me to walk you.

Anyone can be the person in charge, but your mother is only me!

So I refused to leave the department regardless of the leadership's objections. Our dean at the time felt that I had disrespected him, so he transferred me to the logistics department within a few months.I was not convinced, so I simply resigned and went to the University of Medical Sciences, thinking that I would not be able to perform surgery anyway, so I would rather be a teacher and have more time to accompany you.

But what happened?In the end, your dad thought I didn't take you well enough, that I didn't cook well, that I didn't clean up diligently, that I didn't always hug you when I went out for a walk, and that even my boredom became his reason for being picky!Even if I compromise again and again and make changes according to his standards time and time again, he still doesn't agree with me staying at home with you.

Your father decided early on that I don't like children and you, so no matter what I do for you, he thinks I'm just doing it half-heartedly!

I don't understand, why is it that I am the only one in this family who is not human inside and out, and I am not right anyway?

Let me ask you, aren't we happy to read small picture books together?Aren't you happy to color the coloring book with me?The kindergarten teacher asked you, where is the place you want to go the most? You said it was a zoo, but isn’t it only I who will accompany you to the zoo?Your dad thinks it's too dirty and there are too many people there, so he doesn't agree with you to go there at all, so wouldn't it be happier to follow your mother?

Why deny all of me because of something I didn't do well?There are no perfect parents in this world, all of us are learning to be parents little by little! "

Chen Min, who has always been calm, probably used her maximum volume at this time, and even the stainless steel door of the ward couldn't block her ever-increasing voice.Such a scene made Lu Xiangzhou feel strange and confused. The images of his parents kept overlapping and separating in front of him. Some scattered memories were reorganized in his mind, and the answers he had never thought of seemed to be coming out soon.

"So I always wondered if it was really wrong for me to be so happy after the operation, and if I really shouldn't show that kind of emotion under such circumstances. If I was unhappy and behaved a little uncomfortable, could it be your father? He won’t feel that I’m cold-blooded, and that I don’t care about him or you. Then, is it possible for him to accept the way I love you instead of denying the meaning of my existence for so many years.

And you...Lu Xiangzhou, can you ignore your father's thoughts and call me mother sincerely? "

Can I disregard my father's thoughts and call my mother sincerely?

The moment he heard this question, Lu Xiangzhou finally understood what the strange feeling that had been lingering in his heart all these years was.

Ever since he could remember, Lu Wenchuan had always told him: "Although Mom doesn't love you, you will always be Dad's treasure, and Dad will never let you be wronged."

He knew the conclusion of the matter first, and then went to dig out the cause of the matter a little bit.

Such a young child really has no concept of "what is good for me" and "what is harming me".So many times, as long as Lu Wenchuan didn't say what Chen Min did, he wouldn't be able to tell the good from the bad.

Would you say it's a good thing or a bad thing to remove the training wheels from your bike?He thought it was good at first, because he learned how to ride a bicycle.But after Lu Wenchuan told him, he realized that it was bad, because children's skin is very delicate, and it will bleed when bumped and touched, and it will cause pain and scars.Therefore, people who make children wrestle are very bad people, people who hate children very much.

People have a yardstick for judging everything, and Lu Xiangzhou's yardstick is Lu Wenchuan.If Lu Wenchuan thinks this is good, then he thinks it is good, if Lu Wenchuan thinks it is wrong, then he thinks it is bad.

Because he is father's baby, father will never harm him.

"Forget it, it's meaningless to tell you these things, you won't believe me, have you forgotten all about it?"

Before Lu Xiangzhou could reply, Chen Min's anger slowly dissipated in the cold air, and finally she sighed and said with a wry smile: "Then just pretend you didn't hear, anyway, these are my personal emotions, nothing to do with yours. It doesn't matter much. I... Hey, I didn't intend to tell you, but you insisted on asking, and Dr. Zhou said that I should tell you, so I thought I'd give it a try...

But look, isn’t it more uncomfortable to hear it? That’s not what you want to hear, right?You want to hear me say that I am cold-blooded, that I don't like you, that I never want to be your mother since I was a child.

But what if I really said that?Will you be happy then?Will it be relieved?

You won't, Xiang Zhou, not being loved is always the biggest unhappiness in this world, we understand this truth better than anyone else. "

Lu Xiangzhou's eyes were dark and deep, and the moment he heard this sentence, his eyes sank suddenly.

Yes, how could he not understand?Not being loved is the greatest unhappiness in the world, but he never thought that the most unhappy person in this family would be Chen Min.

"So you always thought Dad was wrong, didn't you?"

"Me? Me??" Unexpectedly, Lu Xiangzhou would respond to him, and Chen Min was stunned.

"Yes, you, do you think it's my dad's fault all these years?"

"Then...that's not true..." Chen Min certainly hoped that the fault was solely Lu Wenchuan's, so that she would not have to bear the guilt of not taking good care of her son, but...but she knew the truth was not the case so.

"How can someone be wrong about everything, or be right about everything...I am certainly responsible for your bad life and unhappy life.

In the past, I always felt that I loved you too, and wanted to treat you well, but everyone loves in different ways.The love Dad gave you is very meticulous and thoughtful, and he is always afraid that you will be hurt, but I just want you to be more free, hang out with friends more, get in touch with new things more, it doesn’t matter if you suffer a little bit of grievance and setbacks, Just cry and cry. "

"But maybe... maybe your dad is right. When he used to scold me, he always said that whether we love someone or not is not up to us, but to the person we love. Just like me Think you love you, but you don't think so, you think mom treats you badly, doesn't care about you, only dad is the one who protects you from beginning to end. That's probably what it is? Isn't it? You're like this now Sad, maybe my mother used the wrong method, or her self-righteousness hurt you."

"No."

Lu Xiangzhou suddenly remembered a cake that Chen Min bought for him.

The first time he ate that cake was at the birthday party of his classmates. Because there were many people present, only a small piece was distributed to him. He didn't even taste the taste before it was gone.

Since then, he has been thinking about that uneaten cake day and night, wondering whether its cream is sweet or not, what is the fruit in the middle layer, and are those small white powders shredded coconut?Maybe it was just an ordinary delicious cake, but after thinking about it for a long time, it has become the number one delicacy in the world.He tried to mention it to Lu Wenchuan several times, but was rejected on the grounds that "children should not eat dirty things outside".

So when he found out that Chen Min bought him a cake home, he was really happy, so happy that he completely forgot that it was a bad gift from a bad mother.

"Do you remember that cake? The one that was thrown away by my father, I really want to eat that cake."

That should be the first and only time that young Lu Xiangzhou felt that what Lu Wenchuan said was wrong.Mom may be very bad, but she doesn't want to hurt him when she buys cakes.

"You... what did you say?"

Chen Min, who was not sure what he heard, widened his eyes, wanted Lu Xiangzhou to repeat it, but was afraid that Lu Xiangzhou would repeat it again.

"I said," Lu Xiangzhou lowered his voice, trying to sound as sincere as possible, "I said that cake, but actually I really want to eat it, I always thought it would be delicious."

The never-before-seen affirmation burst open between the mother and child unexpectedly.It was difficult for Lu Xiangzhou to speak, because he felt that this was a kind of betrayal of his father.Chen Min also had a hard time listening, her body and expression froze, because she never thought that she would be able to wait for this day.

She thought she would be like this for the rest of her life, being hated and hated by her son as she grew old, and then became a lonely ghost who was not cared about by anyone.

She thought that no one would believe that she had ever had sincerity. The world regarded her as a snake, snake, tiger, and leopard. Sometimes even she herself couldn't help wondering if she really made a big mistake to give her family causing so much pain.

She thought that all the grievances and unwillingness were just a nightmare that she could not get rid of alone, and she would never be seen, understood, or forgiven in this life.

She thought, thought...

"Thank you," the person who had never collapsed in front of his son suddenly had red eyes, "Thank you Xiang Zhou, thank you for saying that you want to eat the cake my mother bought."

The author has something to say:

there will be tomorrow~