Kinn Porsche The Series gangster fell in love with me

So ashamed!

"...don't mess with me anymore, because you saw me and Vegas... or because of Tawan? Because of March or because you're bored with me..." I don't want to do this at all, but now I feel like someone is in my heart I have ten knives in my chest and for that, I don't want to talk to him, I don't want to see his face directly because I'll be weak and feel like a failure over and over again and let him mock me with my feelings.

I don't want to see him, I don't want him to see me now

I always knew what I would be like face to face with him.

So I've been hiding...

"Porsche..."

"I'm done, bastard! You can be with anyone, Kinn, even if you can hurt my feelings, but don't come down on me, don't say I'm with this and that...don't insult my feelings!!! "The tears I had held back for so long flowed down in front of the person I least wanted to see. I gently pressed my face against his chest, because my arms didn't have enough strength to resist him, and I buried my head in his chest." In the shirt, let the tears flow like this, my appearance should be ugly, I don't want him to see me crying non-stop, so I can only lower my head to hide my weakness.I've cried very little in my life and am a hard person to cry, but I'm tearing up over this stupid thing and can't stop...  

"Porsche...I..." Kinn put his arms around me, even though I wanted to shake him off, didn't want him to touch, but I couldn't, when I saw his face, I lost all my strength...I There is no control over anything anymore.

"If you're sick of me... just tell me something, is this going to die?" My voice was shaking uncontrollably, and I tried to swallow the lump so I wouldn't feel any more pathetic.

"I'm not bored"

"You don't fucking get tired of anything... I'm really asking you, Kinn... why are you lying to me? Why are you lying to me to make you feel! Are you satisfied with me becoming like this?" I asked him He said with a tight chest, his body was trembling, and there was a feeling of constant surge.

"..."

"...the past...what is it?"

"..."

"What am I...for you?" It became more and more difficult to say each word, the pain was so painful that I couldn't bear it anymore, it was more painful than before, instead of saying it, it collapsed, But Kinn remained silent, and the pain squeezed into my chest with double force.

"..."

"Eliminate loneliness... Have fun every day and wait for Tawan to come back, right?" In the end, I have to admit that what Kinn showed from the beginning was to vent the inner loneliness and pain that Tawan did to him, As for me being a tool, just a time separator, because when Tawan shows up, I have to go.. like now, I thought he gave me his heart, but in fact, he was just removing lonely.

"…" I let all the feelings rush in enough to feel this stupid thing one last time.

"Porsche... let's go home." Kinn reached out and patted my head lightly, but it didn't relieve my pain now, I took a deep breath and summoned up the courage to ask you what you want to know the most...

"...have you ever loved me?" I asked a stupid question and bit my lip, the answer was clear from the day I decided to leave, I didn't know what kind of response I expected, But there was no answer, and more silence reinforced my clear thoughts.

"..."

"...then let me go, just take it as my request, don't bother me, don't care about me, stop." The pleading made me cry even harder, it's time, I really had enough, I Hate the weak Porsche, hate the guy who is crazy about stupid things, I feel stupid the way I feel right now.

Kinn rolled over and straddled me, hugging me as tightly as before, and I buried my face in his chest the same way.I don't want to be near him, I don't want to touch his body, I don't want to recognize his scent the way I used to because it just makes me sadder, sadder over and over again, never sad enough for this guy, dare I say it, I open up to him, And really feel him, what is it like when I love someone, like not telling anyone but my brother, a lonely person like me for a short period of time when someone can be reliable psychologically, it's like Like being betrayed, the belief in love once again dissipated deep in my heart.

"Let's talk about it when we get home..."

"No...please, Kinn, I beg you..." I tried to gather my thoughts and pushed myself away from Kinn's arms, the hug I wanted before, and today I hate it so much, it's not warm or I can't feel much, I'm in so much pain that I'm numb, and I don't think it's going to come back anytime soon.

"Porsche... let's go home and talk." He pulled me away and looked at me with trembling eyes. His eyes trembled a little until I couldn't understand what he was feeling.He leaned down and kissed my forehead lightly, I had to break away from him even more.

"Let go of me!!... let go of me, I don't want it anymore." If he did it out of pity, I'd say I don't want it anymore, I don't know how ugly my teary face would be , How would Kinn feel, but the person who was so badly injured, scared, wouldn't let himself get hurt again and again.

"Second brother, what are you doing!" Vegas' voice sounded, and at the same time, Kinn was ripped off from me. No matter how hard I tried to hold back, my tears were still streaming, I propped myself up and sat up, and then casually Wipe away tears.

"Vegas, never mind!" Kinn tried to pull me towards him, but I shook his hand away.

"Porsche, what's the matter?" Vegas came over, sat next to me, and put his arms around my shoulders tightly.

"Damn Vegas! You let go of my people!"

"I'm not yours...Vegas, take me away." I turned around, muffled Kinn's voice, turned to Vegas, and begged.

"Let's go..." Vegas pulled me up from the ground without hesitation, but Kinn came over and pushed Vegas' shoulder until his body stumbled and sat on the floor.

"If you dare to take him away, try it." A voice that seemed irritated at first began to erupt again.

"Yes! Dare!! What the hell is the second brother doing? Do you know?" Vegas said in a stern voice, his face was as aggressive, fierce and terrifying as I had ever seen before.

"Don't worry about it, Vegas" Kinn pointed at Vegas disapprovingly.

"Why not? The second brother said that he is your person, and you treat your person like this... No matter how bad I am, if it is the person I love, I will never hurt his feelings like this. "

"Can a man like you understand love?"

"Where is the second brother? Do you know love very well... Before you teach me, you should figure it out yourself."

"Vegas!!!" Kinn pounced and grabbed Vegas by the neck to get up. Vegas didn't seem scared at all.The corner of its mouth curled into a smile, showing a challenging face to challenge Kinn who was almost smoking from his ears.

"Oh... but I think it's better to hurry up because I like him and I think I can take care of him better than you!!" Vegad slammed back into Kinn's face, and I looked at the two of them alternately, The grumpy Kinn I'm familiar with.But for Vegas, I feel weird in my heart.

"You don't understand me, do you?" Kinn's voice stopped abruptly, and he punched Vegas hard in the face, causing him to tremble violently, with blood flowing from the corner of his mouth, Vegas fell behind, and I slowly Stand up from the ground.My brain still can't process a lot of the images, but was stunned by the way Vegad, after being punched, put his finger on the blood on the corner of his mouth, wiped it and looked at it, then let out a chuckle in his throat .

"Second brother is no different from elder brother, he really only knows how to use force." Vegas' eyes flickered, and he stared at Kinn with wide eyes.

"If you do this, you don't need to call me second brother!" Kinn still couldn't control his temper, still so furious.

"You said it yourself!" After Vegas' voice said, he raised his fist and slammed it hard into Kinn's face.

"Damn! Stop!!" I yelled at them, Kinn didn't give up, and immediately punched Vegas back in the face, I hurried over and pulled Kinn out, in front of him, to prevent Vegas from touching he.

"Bastard Vegas!!" The two almost fell on each other, so I had to use both hands to bear the forward and backward momentum at the same time.

"Enough!!! Kinn!" I pulled Kinn's body, knocked him against the wall, and stood in front of him "Don't be crazy! Stop harassing me!" I yelled.

"Porsche, come home with me." Kinn walked over and grabbed my wrist, trying to force me to go with his strength.

"Stop pushing me! Bastard!!! I quit! Then you don't mess with me anymore because I won't interfere in your life anymore." I broke his hand and pushed him hard.

"Porsche! Don't say that." Kinn was about to walk up to me again, but this time, Vegas was in the way.

"Enough of you!" Vegas said angrily.

"Vegas!" I quickly pulled Vegas' arm back to prevent Kinn from rushing in and fighting again. Kinn stopped and stared at my hand that was tightly holding Vegas' arm. His eyes were hard to see, but when he moved The eyes flickered for a moment before looking away.

"Come on, Porsche..." Vegas slid my hand over him and held it instead, and I allowed Vegas to do it because now I need someone to support my feelings, and I can still feel Kinn just now Words and silence, a clear, unspoken answer is enough to make me go, and I don't want to get hurt again..

Before I left, I went to pick up my bag, Kinn stood there, dumbfounded, motionless, Vegas was still holding my hand tightly...

Now I want to say the last word, because I still have a hard time with insulting words, and I want you to know..

From now on, I will never look back for you again...

"The thing about you yelling at me, you think I'm having an affair with…" I use my eyes instead of words, looking at Vegas and then back at Kinn. "I've never had anything with him, and I've never thought about it, but now I'm thinking about it..."