Love you as life

One morning in early July, on the third day after An An returned from a trip with her mother, the Xin Dekang couple invited me to discuss the divorce with An An.The matter was told by Xin Dekang, Su Weiying was very excited, and kept looking at An An with fear.An An was surprisingly quiet, as if what her father was talking about was someone else's business.After the matter was finished, the whole family fell into silence.In the end, Xin Dekang asked An An why he stopped talking. An An looked at them very calmly and said, "No problem, you can do whatever you decide." Her "cold-blooded" answer made the originally nervous Xin Dekang couple very embarrassed. , Speechless, Su Weiying lowered her tearful eyes with a gloomy expression.

I kept silent, thinking about An An's thoughts.

Seeing An An did not show anything special, Xin Dekang stood up and said, "Okay, Xin An is a strong child, but life hasn't changed much. Let's go about our business."

Su Weiying was not so chic. She walked up to An An, held An An's hands and said in a trembling voice, "An An, forgive mom. You will always be mom's good baby! Call mom if you have anything to do, and mom will come back to see you..." Tears fell like rain before I finished speaking.

An An remained motionless like a piece of wood, looking at her mother coldly.Suddenly, she broke free from her hand and walked out the door.

"Sister Weiying, don't worry, I'll go take a look." I took Su Weiying's hand and smiled at her.

In fact, I don't know where An An is going. I am more worried about her emotions. After so many years, I know that when she is the calmest, she is actually the most excited and painful.

I thought about where she might go. An An is a child with relatively reserved emotions. When she is in pain, she will not talk to anyone. She is also a girl with great self-esteem. She never wants to be seen crying. She is a very caring person, and she will not act casually to make people worry and sad.She must have gone to a more secluded and deserted place not too far away.

I found her in the tall and exuberant poplar forest outside the village.

"An'an." I went over and put my arms around her shoulders.

"Why do everyone around me leave me one by one! Why am I always alone!" She finally cried on my shoulder.

"Silly boy. They're not leaving you, they're just farther away from you." I stroked her back.

"They always made me so lonely. I was born and left me to my grandma. Before I grew up, my grandmother left. They left me to you. Now they are divorced. They don't think about me at all. What a feeling!" An An exclaimed excitedly.

"An'an, no matter what they do, they love you. If you are happy, those who love you will be happy. Mom is gone, but she will always be your mother." I rubbed her head.

An'an continued to sob, her body trembling and undulating slightly in my arms.

"Everyone around you loves you, we all love you!" I didn't feel like kissing her temples like she did when she was a child.

An'an finally calmed down, and slowly left my arms, looking at me with red eyes: "Will you leave me too?"

"I...won't." All I could say was.

"You can't leave me, never!" She hugged me so tightly that my heart beat for no reason.In the past ten days or so, she has grown up again, and she no longer looks like a child...

"Go back and be with mom, she's leaving tomorrow, she's a very sad person..." I got out of her arms.

"Yeah." An'an turned around, took my hand and walked home.

An An's middle school is far away from her home, and she needs to ride a bicycle for four or ten minutes to the nearest town, and then take a bus for more than an hour to the county seat, so An An has to live in school.Xiaoqiang was also admitted to the key middle school in the county with An An, so I asked them to accompany me to school and then go home.They go home every Friday night and go back to school every Sunday.Every time I ride a bicycle to the town, I put the bicycle in custody at the bus station.Ride back when you get home.

Xiaoqiang left after lunch on Sunday, An An didn't want to leave so early, she had to go out at [-]:[-] pm, because the evening bus from the town to the county departs at [-]:[-], so I will see her off when she returns to school went.An An especially enjoyed the one-hour send-off, always picking uneven places to ride like when she was a child, and riding fast, bumping and shouting, like a wild pony.

I never worry about An An's grades. What I care about is whether she is happy and whether she gets along well with her teachers and classmates.But the result is gratifying to me. Although her parents are divorced, An An who is in middle school is still brighter and brighter.She is the teacher's right-hand man, has many friends, and what is especially pleasing is that she is still the best badminton player in the school, an excellent goalkeeper in the girls' soccer team, and has entered the school's art class and has become a top student there.

I will go to the parent meeting every semester. An An takes me to visit her campus carefully every time, tells me what happened in every corner of the school, and sighs: "Oh, it would be great if you were my classmate. We'll just spend it here together.

After every parent-teacher meeting, she would tell me: Wen Qing, my teachers and classmates all said that you are very beautiful, with great temperament and demeanor. They envy me to death!

While talking, she looked at me proudly, as if looking at her exclusive collection.

Every time on the first night when I go home, An An will tell me about her life at school, like a detailed report on her work, and she will talk non-stop all night.We are not allowed to talk about the school on the second day. We will spend the whole day at home, picking vegetables and cooking together, tending the flowers and trees in the yard, cleaning the soles of the shoes with Mama Song, reading books and reciting aloud. Go for walks, play ball.In the evening, An'an pestered me to tell her what I had done in the past week. She questioned like a detective, refusing to let go of any clues, as if she still listened with gusto.When I finished the report, she sighed: Oh, my Wenqing, what a good boy.Then she lay in my arms and asked me to hold her to sleep.

On Sunday mornings, we usually go out by bike together, sometimes to sketch, sometimes to wander around, often as we please.We have visited the places where we can visit, see and study, and have studied countless times, but we are still full of interest every time we go out.The mountains, waters, villages, mountain people, plants and trees, cattle and sheep here are all interesting.

On Sunday afternoon, the three of us started to think about making something delicious for An An to bring back to school to "consolate" my classmates.Song's mother can make some local pastries, bacon and pickled vegetables.I will cook some "foreign food", such as sandwiches, fruit pancakes, pork chops and steaks.Of course, due to the lack of ingredients, I can only make a rough idea.

When An'an came back next week, Mama Song asked, "Do you like Mama Song's cooking, or Wenqing's?"

An An said: "I eat the one made by Song Ma, it's kind. I eat the one made by Wen Qing, it's fresh. I like it very much! Everyone praises that our family has two famous chefs, who combine Chinese and Western..." I didn't finish Just laugh out loud.

Mama Song doesn't know how to combine Chinese and Western food, as long as she hears that her cooking is delicious, lovable, and greedy, she will be so happy from ear to ear, and work harder.

Once I asked An An why we had to make "reports" to each other every week, and why they were so specific.

She said: "I want you to know everything about me, and I want to know everything about you, so that we can be together every day, just like when we were young."

"An'an..." I hugged this affectionate child, and my heart was filled with endless emotions.

"Wen Qing, I just want to be with you every day, every day, every moment." The girl said, while hugging me tightly, she would not let go in my arms for a long time.

"Wenqing, I like this. Holding you feels so beautiful and safe. It reminds me of melting..."

I can feel her heart beating excitedly and warmly in front of my chest, and her developing breasts are pressed against mine, and what I embrace is the softest, gentlest and sweetest world...An'an, I love you, love You child, I also want to be with you every moment, like this.However, we are destined to be separated, but we don't know when it will be.No matter how long we have been together, if you can love you, you will be happy every day, as long as you cherish every second in front of you...

An An, my image is not my child, I can only feel all this in silence, feel all the excitement, joy and happiness you bring me.I can't say, can't say I love you.You can't say, you can't say your vague or clear love for relatives or lovers.I can't point it out, and I can't let you point it out, I want to pretend to be stupid, I want you, a silly child, to think that this is just family affection...

I have been living in the same room with An An since I arrived in Liba Village. An An said that the house is too big and she would be afraid to sleep by herself.I thought she would separate after graduating from elementary school, but the divorce of the Xin Dekang couple cast a shadow on her to some extent, and she was afraid of being alone.So continue to live with me.

When An An was in the second year of junior high school, I insisted that we each have a separate room, but An An refused to die:

"I only live at home two nights a week, why must we separate!"

why?Because I love you, love you very much, I am afraid that I will hurt you, I have reached the point where I cannot restrain myself.I feel unspeakably bitter.

"Recently, I often have dizziness and headaches. You don't sleep well. I can't sleep well with you." I lied to her.

"Is my sleeping posture not good?" She looked at me suspiciously, "You always said that I slept well."

"I was very obedient when I was young, but I am not so obedient when I grow up." I said with a smile.In fact, you have always been so obedient, you have never kicked me or touched me, you have been sleeping like a sweet and quiet angel...

She looked at my face with suspicious eyes for a long time, it should be said that she searched for a long time, looking for an accurate answer, some clear marks.

"You really didn't sleep well, you have dark circles under your eyes, and your complexion is not good. I hate it! How could I be so dishonest! I hate it!" She suddenly lost her temper with herself, and beat her arm hard and legs.

"An'an, it's none of your business, you don't know..." I hugged her, my nose became sore, and tears began to flow down.Why do I love you, why do I love you so much?Why are you attached to me?Why does fate let me appear by your side, why does it want me to stay?How can your young life bear such heavy love and pain!Ann, you don't know how much my heart hurts.

"Wen Qing, what's wrong?" An An felt something strange about me.

I tightly hugged An An, who had grown to the height of my ears, and kept shaking my head, tears streaming more fiercely.

An'an no longer asked me, and gently massaged my back like I used to massage her back to comfort her.

"Okay, don't cry anymore, I'll listen to you." After a while, she said softly, just like what I said to her before.

I still can't stop the tears.I don't know when I became so childish and vulnerable, when I became obsessed with Ann's hug and comfort, as if I was younger than her.What's wrong with me……

At dinner, An An said to Mama Song:

"Mother Song, what can you eat to cure dizziness and headaches? Wenqing is in great pain." Ever since she watched "Home Alone" at the age of five, she also called the original "Grandma Song" as "Mama Song" together with adults. "Are.An An looked at my eyes while talking, just like observing a child who has lied.

"Really, Mama Song. I'm crying in pain." I smiled "embarrassed".

"Oh, you've been reading and writing all day, and your mind is exhausted!" Song Ma scolded.

In this way, An An and I slept separately.Two people who have slept together for nearly ten years, once separated, are really not used to it and feel uncomfortable.It's only separated by a wall, but it seems to be separated by thousands of rivers and mountains, only a few minutes apart, but it seems that we have been separated for decades, why is it so heartbroken, how can I live without An An in the future... The pillow left behind kept crying.Did An An sleep well?Is she hugging that pillow too?Will you cry too?This is a pair of pillows we bought when we went shopping in the county together. They are An An and my "pets", and they have been with us for many years...

[-]. Tears falling on the pillow

After I slept with An An separately, I realized that it was even more painful. Not only did I look forward to five days a week, but I was also tormented by longing for the distance.However, no matter how much you suffer, you can't let yourself cheat...

After the separation, An'an gradually accepted this arrangement, but after she came back, she liked to stay in my room all the time, and didn't go back to her room until she went to bed. A pure girl has no distracting thoughts like me, All she has is pure attachment...

In the second semester of the second year of junior high school, An An, who came back from school, suddenly became depressed.She still insisted that I describe her five blank days in detail, but she would not bring up her school.Every time I come back, I stick to me thoughtfully, not going anywhere, and I have learned to sigh and be silent for a long time.Her clear eyes are often covered with a layer of misty smoke, as if wandering in a distant invisible world, sometimes looking at me blankly, her eyes are full of melancholy.

She still stayed in my room before going to bed, but she didn’t do anything or say anything, she just sat on the edge of the bed and watched me busy. When I was sitting at the desk reading a book, she came and stood behind me, lowered her head and sniffed. My hair, or bend down and bury my head on my neck, or just touch my head, my face and neck, run my fingers along the line of my lips.

"An'an, what's the matter?" When I looked back at her, she would show a fleeting shy smile, and her eyes immediately became dim and empty again.

I made her talk, chat with her, and tell her jokes, but she just listened and agreed with a smile, and didn't express her opinion, which was unprecedented.I asked her once or twice what happened, and she wouldn't tell.I stopped asking her questions and waited for her to speak again.

After more than a month, An An finally talked to me about her thoughts.

It turned out that several girls in their class started to fall in love secretly. One pair was discovered by the teacher and severely criticized in public. That girl felt ashamed to see others, and became taciturn, inferior and neurotic.After this incident, their classmates often talked about boys and girls in the dormitory, only to find that most of the girls have a crush, but many of them hide this feeling in their hearts.Now that we talked about the topic of "love", we naturally talked about some more secret topics, such as feelings for the opposite sex, and marriage...

Originally, this was a normal thing. It is a natural law for fourteen or fifteen-year-old girls to have a vague love for the opposite sex. How could An An not accept it?Was something else bothering her?I keenly feel that there must be some special feelings in her heart, related to me, those feelings that I long for and fear...

"It's not a bad thing. People grow up like this. Why are you so sad?" I looked into An An's deep eyes.

An An was silent for a while, then said:

"Why do people grow up, why do they have to fall in love and get married when they grow up, and...you have to have a man and a woman to fall in love and a man and a woman to get married!"

She looked at me brightly, with some shyness, some bravery, some inquiry.

I bypassed the question behind her and said with a smile: "Why do you look like a philosopher? Only when you grow up can you experience a richer life."

"What about the next question?" She didn't smile, but still looked at me with twinkling eyes.

"Oh, what age has the characteristics of age, and you can do what you should do at that stage. It's nothing strange." I still avoided the last question.

An An looked at me with sharp eyes, moved her mouth and stopped, and finally said:

"Then, when I grow up, I want to fall in love with a boy, and marry him when I'm older, right?" She mercifully let go of the last question, but still stared at me sharply.

"Well, yes." I laughed.

"You like this? You really want this, don't you?" A strange hatred flashed in her eyes.

"Well, I hope you are happy. It is a happy thing when someone loves each other." I couldn't stand it any longer.

"When I show my boyfriend to you, you will be very happy, and when I get married, you will bless me, won't you?" An An's words seemed to come out of her teeth, I have never seen her like this Look, it gives me chills.

"Yes, I will be very happy, and I will sincerely bless you!" I tried to smile and looked at her.

"You are such a great woman!" An An didn't know whether it was a compliment or a mockery, and said loudly and exaggeratedly.After finishing speaking, I walked out of my room.

I felt cold and heartbroken like never before. I needed to breathe hard and deeply, but I couldn't hold back the tears.An An has never been like this, she has always been so well-behaved, so caring, so considerate...

I don't know when An An came back, she hugged me tightly and said, "Wenqing, I'm sorry. I was too rude just now." She cried as she spoke, "I don't know what's wrong with me, I just feel Very upset."

I couldn't speak, I just hugged her tightly.

"Don't cry. Every time I see you sad, I feel very sad. I don't want you to be sad, I don't want to make you sad..." She cried even harder, it was a very suppressed sob.

I know it, I knew it when you were five years old, you don't want me to cry, you must see me happy, see my smile.

"Well, let's not be sad." I gently pushed her away in my arms, and wiped away the tears on her face, such a sad face, such painful eyes, An An, these should not appear when you are like this Young age.But what should I say, what should I do, how can I make you as happy and "normal" as all children...

After a long period of time, we regained the peace of the past, and we no longer mentioned those sensitive topics.An An is still that sunny and pure girl, and I am still that "quiet and gentle" Wenqing—this is An An's evaluation of me.

We continue to choose vegetables for cooking and shoe soles, and continue sketching and outings to play basketball.But always at some point, An An fell into a wordless melancholy.When I came to ask her, she covered it up and said: It's okay, I'm thinking about philosophical issues.Then he laughed.

An An has really grown up, she has a secret in her heart, and a world that I can't touch.

After a while, An An no longer went home alone, she came back with Xiaoqiang, and said that the food we cooked was delicious, and invited Xiaoqiang to come to our house for dinner before leaving. After dinner, she sent Xiaoqiang outside the gate , reminded him to be careful loudly, and said: Come to me on Sunday, let's go back to school together.

On Sunday, An An no longer waited until five o'clock to leave. After lunch, she and Xiaoqiang rode a bicycle to catch a car in the town, talking and laughing.She easily explained to me: Now there is a lot of homework, I have to go back to school early.

Everyone can see An An's changes. Once, Song's mother carefully asked: "An An, are you in love with Xiaoqiang?"

An An lowered her head, looked very embarrassed, and said, "No, I'm still so young!" After she finished speaking, she quickly glanced at me.

I smiled and didn't speak.I continued to do my work, but my heart was full of disappointment, but I became quiet. If An An really likes Xiaoqiang, that would be a good thing. I would be happy and blessed...

After a while, Xiaoqiang stopped coming, and An An brought back a beautiful female classmate, a fair-skinned, gentle and delicate girl.When I first entered junior high school, I asked An Anduo to take her classmates home to play, hoping that she would have more friends.At that time An An said: "No! I have given them five days, these two days are for you, only for you!"

An An took good care of her classmates, introduced us to her enthusiastically, showed her around our home and yard, sat on the stone bench under the pagoda tree in the yard, talked and laughed happily, and made chrysanthemum tea for her , and took her by the hand to take her out to play in the wild.When I was eating, I kept asking her to add more food, and at night, the two of them were fighting next to me, laughing endlessly...

I don't know why An'an is doing this, is it a temptation to me?It seems unnecessary.Is it to stimulate me?So why didn't we have any further texts with Xiaoqiang?Why did you bring back a girl?I can't fathom her mind.

Anyway, An An is changing, becoming strange, becoming less honest, the transparent girl who used to reveal everything to me is gone, she closed her world to me.

When Xiaoqiang came, I was not very sad, but very disappointed.But this girl came and I was really shocked, though I tried to keep still.I hate her inexplicably, and I am full of resentment towards An An. Every time I see them talking and laughing, I feel embarrassed. Seeing An An being considerate to her, I feel sad. .Those nights, listening to the laughter from their room, I was really suffering. I couldn't sleep all night, and I cried all night.As a result, I had to go out early the next day, and asked Song Ma to tell An An that I was going to observe the life of the mountain people in the neighboring village, and I would not be able to come back until evening, because I had to conceive a new novel... I was afraid that An An would see my red and swollen eyes, And haggard sleepless nights...

I vaguely recalled the days when I was with Xiaoling, the overwhelming jealousy I felt every time she was with boys, the desolation of crying all day long every time she snubbed me, and the final decision The off-campus train track I approached at that time...

Looking back on all this, I suddenly realized that I was never jealous of Xiao Ling getting along with girls, but I couldn't tolerate her contact with boys.It's different for An An.I don't care much about her association with boys, but I can't stand a girl next to her.why?Is it because I instinctively feel that Xiaoling will not love other girls but will fall in love with boys, does it mean that Xiaoling is also a heterosexual?And An An can't be really interested in boys, she must be a girl who loves girls, which shows that An An is an absolute homosexual?Or was it because I was young at the time and was jealous of all the opposite sex who approached Xiaoling, but now that I am mature, I don’t think that I don’t care about those who are not my kind?Just like if An An is a girl who likes boys, I will no longer be in love with her like I was with Xiaoling back then, and I will not be jealous, so I can ignore Xiaoqiang...

I can't sort out these clues: Do these feelings mean that An An only loves the same sex, or that I no longer envy the opposite sex due to the change of age.If it is the former, I will be worried and heartbroken; if it is the latter, I will be happy and peaceful.

But I don't have an answer, so I'm at a loss.

An An's female classmate stopped coming after a few times. I was wondering, what kind of friends will An An bring back next time?As a result, An An didn't bring it anymore, and never again.She changed back to her original appearance, back to that well-behaved and innocent appearance.The law of life has also completely returned to the original track.To me, she is even more caring, considerate, and attached than before, making me feel as if I have returned to when she was a little child many years ago, who regarded me as her "bride", her "princess" , her "baby" years.It's just that I can no longer indulge in her pure love as confidently as I used to. There is a shadow in my heart, and this shadow cannot be eliminated until she takes the initiative to eliminate it, and An An seems to have never thought of eradicating it, and I don't want to mention it...

In any case, everything continues as life has always been, rationally and calmly, without waves, desires, or so many unrealistic fantasies and impulses. good thing.

As time went by, my mood gradually improved, not to mention that An An treats me so well now, I have no reason to have any more complaints, no reason to be dissatisfied, and no reason not to be moved.And I shouldn't have asked An An to love me, I was in the wrong love...

When An An was in the third year of junior high school, we lived a peaceful, fulfilling and happy life.An An is about to take the high school entrance exam, and she is going all out. Besides, she still has so many activities, and we still have so many books to read and so many articles to write.Since the summer vacation of the second year of junior high school, An An also started writing with me every day. She said that she had to keep writing so that she would not be too far away from me, and could better understand the hardships of my writing...

Nine, can't live without you

An An's entrance examination is over, this time she still got the first place in her grade, and she still has to be the grade representative to give a speech at the graduation ceremony.Xin Dekang is back, and he will attend his daughter's graduation ceremony again.

The lawsuit against Xin Dekang Co. has dragged on for two years, and he can be said to be devastated.It took a lot of time, but fortunately, the impact on the company was not too great. After half a year of hard work, it was basically able to operate normally.Six months ago, Xin Dekang discussed with me about An An. He decided to wait for An An to transfer her to S City to go to high school after she graduated from junior high school. He also revealed to me that he will organize a new family, and I can let go of their family affairs. , he will reward me heavily.I made an appointment with him to make these decisions after An An finished her high school entrance examination. I thought, I can really go out of An An's world completely. I will work very hard, but everything will return to the right path.

An An's graduation ceremony was still on a hot morning in June, and I was going to join Xin Dekang in this very meaningful ceremony for An An.Surprisingly, Su Weiying also came back. We sent her a message earlier. She said that since her mother passed away two years ago, her father's health has been deteriorating. He was admitted to the hospital recently, but he will try to come back as soon as possible. .The result really miraculously appeared in front of everyone.

An An is 15 years old, and she is no longer the stubborn child she was three years ago. She hugged her mother like a good friend, and Su Weiying was so excited that she cried and laughed.

I don't think it is necessary for me to attend this ceremony anymore. It would be perfect for the three of them to go, but it would be superfluous and nondescript for me to go again.When An An heard that I wasn't going, she immediately lost interest: If you don't go, this ceremony will be meaningless to me, and I won't go either.Tears almost fell out.

In the end, the few of us showed up at An'an's school neatly dressed like three years ago.An An's graduation speech was still beautiful, very passionate and touching, and won very warm applause.Looking at this scene, I seem to be back three years ago, that silly child An An who was much younger. In her homework for Tang Xinyi, she wrote:

The best wish: to be with you until old age.

Best wishes: May you be happy forever, I will be happy only when you are happy.

For some reason, I started to cry, and I couldn’t stop my tears. In the end, I had to leave the venue and walk to the clean biological garden where few people go. An An took me there many times to see lotus. very beautiful.Now it is blooming well, Xiahe, the root is as fragrant as the stem of the lotus...

"Wen Qing." An An's voice.

"Wen Qing..." Seeing me cry, An An suddenly cried too, and the tears flowed harder than mine.

"What are you doing, you cry when you see others cry, as if you are going to compete." I said, wanting to laugh, but I didn't laugh well.

"You know, every time I see you sad, I feel sadder than you." An An sniffed, "I know you have always hated me, I will tell you, I will tell you later! Don't be sad Alright, okay?" An An came to me to wipe my tears, 15-year-old An An was already as tall as me.

"Where are your parents?" I suddenly remembered.

"I'm visiting the campus."

"Don't you take them?"

"The head teacher took it with me. I am her baby. She volunteered to take my parents to appreciate their daughter's achievements with great enthusiasm." An An looked at me with a smile, her eyes were full of warmth.

On the second day of the graduation ceremony, Xin Dekang and Su Weiying wanted to talk about the future with An An. I was not suitable to join, and I didn't want to stay at home, so I walked alone to the field where An An and I went to pick wild chrysanthemums and weave flower crowns when she was a child.

"It's so beautiful! I'm going to take wedding photos here in the future."

"An An must be the most beautiful bride in the world!"

"You are more beautiful than me, you will be the bride, and I will be the groom."

"Oh, you are a princess, you want to find a prince to take wedding photos!"

"I just want to take a picture with you!"

"Okay, can't I take a photo with you?"

These conversations seem to have been said yesterday, so why did they become ten years ago?

Walking through that very open field, through some cornfields, I came to the river, a very long river.When I first came here, I liked to come here to read books, look at the clouds, and look at the sky. An An fell asleep after watching, and I hugged her in my arms.

I sat down by the river and watched the slow-moving river quietly. The water was very clear, bright and soft, like An An's eyes.There are green grasses by the water, flowing clouds in the water, and white sunshine.I lay down on the grass, so comfortable.The sky is very blue, there are large and large clouds, these clouds keep covering the sun, and keep letting the sun go, the sky in June, the wind is not small.The world is so big, I will be like a cloud, drifting across this wilderness, and then drifting to an unknown end of the sky, the corner of the earth.I am not young, nor old, I can still go to many places, walk a long way...

I plucked a piece of grass and put it in my mouth, closed my eyes, and the sun shone warmly on my body, as if covering me with a huge, soft and light quilt, lying in it was comfortable and beautiful.I stretched my limbs and felt that my hands and feet stretched to the end of the world, turning into the soil of the earth and the mist of the sky, free and easy.I haven't felt this way for a long time, let go of everything, forget everything, without everything, but have the world, mountains and rivers and endless peace.

I actually fell asleep, and slept soundly, without any trace of dreams.

until a hand woke me up.

I opened my eyes and saw Ann, sitting beside me, staring at me.

Her eyes are focused, distant and lonely.

Still the five-year-old child ten years ago, An An.

"Wen Qing, Wen Qing, my name is Wen Qing!" She looked at me with deep and clear eyes like spring water, and her voice was clear and soft.

"hipster……"

A drop of cold water fell on my face, and another drop, and another drop, and many, many drops.

An'an's eyes are like a river, a river that can rain, pouring a lot of warm and cold water onto me, waking me up, and gathering back my thoughts that were as big as the sky and the earth.I stare at her, the girl I love, Ann, she is so sad.

"An'an." I held her hand.

An'an didn't speak, the hand I held was cold and trembling.

"An'an!" I sat up.

An An buried her head in her chest, her body trembling slightly.

"Did your parents tell you?" I asked.

An An still didn't speak, but her body trembled even more.I turned around and knelt down and hugged her, and she immediately buried her head in my stomach and hugged me tightly, crying uncontrollably, crying, crying heartbreakingly.She grabbed the clothes behind me tightly, rubbed her head and face against my belly, and shook.An An, my child, how can you do this...

An An cried for a long time, until she was exhausted and exhausted.I caressed her back, her head, her sideburns, her face, but said nothing.

We were silent for a long, long time, An An lay in my arms for a long, long time.

"Wen Qing, don't leave me, I can't live without you." An An raised her head and looked at me very sadly.

I'm speechless.

"I can't live without you." Her tears flowed down again immediately, "I love you. Wenqing, I love you." After she finished speaking, her mouth was flattened, and tears flowed like a small river again.

I looked at her in astonishment, my heart was shaking with pain.

"I have always loved you, I loved you when I was very young, but I didn't understand it at that time, I only knew that I couldn't be with others