Love you as life

the other end of the fall.I started a regular life of riding An'an to school every morning and riding her back in the evening.

I've been with An An day and night for a year, and once I don't see her for a whole day, I feel very uncomfortable. Her laughter, laughter, and every move move around the whole building, which makes me feel inexplicably lost.Growth is creating and building, but also tearing down and destroying.The nostalgia is very sweet, but also very sentimental. In order to have less regrets in the future, I encourage myself to enjoy the sweetness of the present and feel every surprise and touch that An An brings to me.

Because of the beauty of the large field of wild chrysanthemums on our way back and forth, we started to plant chrysanthemums in the yard, and it was full of chrysanthemums, all kinds of chrysanthemums.We also learned to use chrysanthemum to make tea, cook and make pastries.

We keep fish and turtles and rabbits in our yard.Every day after school, An An went to chat with her little animal friends, and didn't go back until it was dark and it was time for dinner.After finishing the homework after dinner, we started the story tour, and then recited... We are not together during the day, I am willing to give all the time at night to An An, and after dark, An An has become my little tail that never leaves, No matter how Mama Song dragged her to watch TV, she didn't want to hold her to play with her childhood doll.

When An An was in the third grade, because the head teacher, Teacher Tang, said that she was "autistic" at school, I began to invite her classmates and children from Liba Village to my house.

I didn't know until the children came that one-third of the village in this class were left-behind children, and there were one or two "autistic" ones like An An. Don't like hygiene, a few are extremely indifferent to others, a few have low self-esteem and love to cry...

After these children came, we watched fish and played with turtles to tease rabbits, made dumplings, made chrysanthemum cakes and drank chrysanthemum tea.After playing enough and eating enough, we will tell stories.At first I was the one who told it, then An An wanted to tell it, and then other children also told it. Those who don’t know how to tell stories from books can tell their own “stories”.

These stories really shocked me: Xiaowu’s mother went to a big city to work as a nanny, and she only came back once a year during the Spring Festival, and stayed there for a week; Grandpa and grandma left behind; Xueer’s father went to work in the mine and died in a mine accident, her mother went to other provinces to work as a cleaner, and there was a five-year-old brother and a three-year-old sister at home; Xiaorong’s parents went to the south together He works as a construction worker and only returns home once every two years. His grandparents have passed away, so he lives at his grandma’s house. Xiaoqiang is better. His father is repairing bicycles in a nearby town. When he has free time, he will take Xiaoqiang for a walk, but his mother is not in good health. , the epilepsy left by polio often attacks, and often has no self-care ability...

Most of these children's families are very poor, and there are only one or two households that can "successfully work" like Xin Dekang, and a few of them moved out after the environment improved.A few years ago, I noticed that there were mostly old people and children nearby, and young and middle-aged people were rare. I knew that many of them went out to work, but I thought many of them went to work in the surrounding fields and mountains.Those gray buildings with peeling outer walls and red brick huts with gaps exposed, I thought there were many like An An's house, but they were just ruins...

The left-behind children, those left-behind children who make my heart hurt, especially like to come to our house. The dullness, indifference, jealousy, hatred, inferiority, and rudeness that were revealed at the beginning... slowly disappeared, and everyone likes to surround me sweet Sweetly "Sister Wenqing" kept calling.I don't know if they regard me as a sister or a mother. Anyway, children like young girls. I was like this when I was a child. I hoped that Sister Yingxian, who lives next door to my grandmother's house, would come over.

On the weekends, apart from sketching in the wild with An An, most of the time I went to the grass with these little devils to play games and do sports.Girls and children like shuttlecock kicking very much, but boys don't like it.Later, a long rope was made, but the boys still didn't like it very much.Some families have badminton, but they cannot play collectively.It wasn't until Xiaoqiang's father bought a football back that the boy really found the feeling of sports and began to run on the primitive green grass. Of course, the already "wild" An An joined in...

After getting acquainted, the children started to call me Wenqing like An An, and An An was furious, and shouted at them:

"You can only call Sister Wenqing! That's the only way to be polite!"

"Then why do you call her Wenqing?" Xiao Wu was not convinced.

"She belongs to our family!" An An became even more angry.

"We are called Wenqing! Wenqing! Wenqing—" Xiaoqiang shouted loudly on purpose.

"Wen Qing was called by me!" An An actually rushed over, grabbed Xiaoqiang by the collar and yelled.

"Sister Wen Qing, An An is going to fight—" Xiao Rong shouted, I was coming out with boiled sweet potatoes, and I saw An An's posture.

"An'an—" I called out and put the sweet potatoes on the stone table.

An An turned around and hugged me, playing tricks: "Wen Qing, you tell them, Wen Qing is called by me, and they are not allowed to call anyone!"

"Hehehe, why? Find a reason to convince me." I stroked her short hair.

"Because—because—well—you are mine!" An An didn't know what to say, "It's good for them to come here to share our happiness, and it's too greedy to even share the title!" She finally Found a reason.

"Well, it makes sense. Do you have any objections? Just share the happiness with An'an, not the title?" I looked at those mischievous guys.

"No problem—" they deliberately draw out their voices nonchalantly.

"Sister Wenqing, I think it sounds better to be called Sister Wenqing, and it feels very warm." Minmin said softly.

"Yes, Sister Wenqing sounds better. Calling Sister is like calling mother." Xueer said.

"Yes, we prefer to be called Sister Wenqing. Hahaha, An An is cheap." Xiaoqiang glanced at An An.

"A gentleman does what he doesn't do, and Xin An is not stingy and he is stingy." After finishing speaking, An An stuck out her tongue at him, only to realize that they must not understand what it meant, so she looked at me and smiled.

"Sister Wenqing, is your hometown beautiful?" Minmin asked suddenly.

"It's beautiful."

"Where is it?"

"Oh - where the peach blossoms are in full bloom." I smiled at her.

"Why don't you stay in your hometown? Is your hometown poor too?" Minmin said sympathetically.

"Well... when you grow up, you have to run outside to see how amazing the outside world is." I said.

"It's like a dandelion flying with the wind, it has to go outside to take root and sprout." An'an said.

"I will go outside when I grow up." Xiao Wu said, "I will make a lot of money and live with my parents."

"I want to, too. My father said that he wants to go to university outside, and he will be as promising as An An's father in the future." Xiaoqiang said.

"An'an, what about you? Do you want to go outside to take root?" Minmin said after learning An'an's words.

An An was speechless for a while, and said after a while: "I will go wherever Wen Qing goes."

"What if Sister Wen Qing gets married?" Min Min disagreed with An An's idea.

"Yeah, sister Wenqing is getting married, you can't be with her, she's going to be with her groom." Xue'er said.

"..." An An was choked, and did not speak again until the children left.

For the next whole night, An An didn't speak.I teased her that she didn't want it anymore, and ran into Mama Song's arms to watch TV for a long time.

"Wen Qing." I heard the door knock, and she finally came to my study.All my nights have always belonged to An An, unless she "don't want" me, I will stay in my independent study.

"Wen Qing." An An looked at me with aggrieved face.

"What's wrong?" I asked knowingly.

"Are you really going to get married?" An An looked at me sadly, as if she was about to say goodbye to me.

"Well - most women are going to get married." I pulled her to my desk and hugged her waist.

"That unusual woman won't get married, will she?" She actually grabbed my words.

"Well, there is such a thing, but—" I kissed her hand.

"Should a woman marry a man? Can a woman marry a woman?" An An's eyes suddenly brightened.

"..." I was speechless.

"What do you mean! Can you please!" She shook my hand.

"Well, Wen Qing hasn't thought about getting married yet, and An An shouldn't think about getting married even if she's a child, right?" I touched her face.

"Well, okay, let's not talk about marriage, and don't even think about it." An An smiled relievedly, as if she had dropped a big rock.Children are so much fun.

"Okay, I'll stay with you in the beautiful Liba Village." I put my head on her stomach and took a deep breath.

"Okay, I'm so happy. Now it's time for you to tell me stories, and I still want to listen to your stories every day." An An was suddenly very happy, "You are where my heart's desire lies!"

"Hahaha!" I couldn't help laughing when I saw this half-grown child, it was such an interesting quote!I often read Pushkin's poems with her recently, and she especially likes this sentence in "To the Sea", "You are the place of my heart's desire!" and the last stanza:

My whole soul is full of you,

I will take your crags, your bays,

Your flashes, your shadows, and whispering waves,

Brought into the forest, into the quiet desert country.

An'an asked me to read this section over and over again every time, until I mobilized my emotions to the most passionate state, as if the climax of the symphony was coming, and then it stopped abruptly.Then she laughed, "It's so beautiful! It's so beautiful!" Then she said, "In the future, I will go to see the sea with you!"

[-]. Dust

Since the parent-teacher meeting in the third grade, I have held meetings for An An every semester, and I have gradually become familiar with Teacher Tang.Teacher Tang was very surprised to see An An, who was bright and brave every day, and the group of civilized and happy children.Just come to our house as a guest.

At first An An was a little scared, thinking she was going to sue me, so she was a little hostile.I told her: "Wen Qing knows An An best. No matter what others say, in Wen Qing's eyes, An An is the best child, and will always be." An An then relieved her guard.

Gradually, An An welcomed Teacher Tang very much, because Teacher Tang often praised her at school.She entertained the teacher with the best food at home, and also recited my book to the teacher. Because Teacher Tang was curious about her recitation ability, An An's desire to perform came out.As a result, Mr. Tang was stunned by Zhuangzi and Lisao, and she didn't react for a long time after An An recited it.

"It's amazing! How did you memorize it?" She asked An An.

"Wen Qing taught me." An An said proudly, and looked at me proudly.

"An'an is very cute, she loves to read, we read every day, and in the end we can recite it." I laughed.

"You are amazing." Teacher Tang Tang Xinyi looked at me with strange eyes.

"No, it was An An who drove me, and it's all thanks to An An." I said.

"What... did you study before?" she asked.

"Wen Qing is a college student. He has read a lot of books and written a lot of articles. He is a writer." An An rushed to say.

"No, it's just a hobby." I pinched An An's nose.

"Can I visit your study?" Tang Xinyi became interested.

"Okay, it's okay." In fact, I don't have any study room, because there are many rooms and often no one lives there. With the consent of Mr. Xin Dekang, I turned the guest room next to the bedroom into a study room.

"You have so many books!" Tang Xinyi exclaimed after entering the room.Pick up the document on my desktop and read it.

"How well you write!" she said in amazement.

"Oh, I'm studying."

"Wen Qing, Teacher Tang, drink tea." An An brought up a tea tray.She is very excited today.

"I'm curious, why...why do you come here to be a tutor?" Tang Xinyi looked at me after sitting down.

"An'an called me here." I said casually.

"Huh?" Tang Xinyi was puzzled.

"An An shouted to the other side of the mountain: 'Wen Qing, come here, I will give you happiness—' I heard it, and I came." I smiled and looked at An An who was sitting on the bed stupidly.

Seeing their more puzzled looks, I said, "I'm here to find happiness, and An'an gave it to me."

"Oh..." Tang Xinyi looked into my eyes, hesitated to speak.

After she left, An An said, "Wen Qing, when did you hear me call you? Is it midnight? Did I have such a strange dream?"

"That's right! At five o'clock in the morning, I was planning to stay in bed, but I was woken up by you..."

"Hahaha, you lied to me! How can I be so loud!"

"Hahaha, anyway, I'm here, I'm right. You give me a lot of happiness." I touched her face.

"Well, you're right, you came here to make me happy." An An's bright eyes were full of watery warmth.

After this time, Tang Xinyi came here often, and sometimes brought us some vegetables that she grew at school, saying that they were new varieties introduced from other places, sometimes brought some fruits, and sometimes brought some pickles that she made at home .

After getting acquainted, I knew her general situation.She is the daughter of the principal of an elementary school in a nearby town. Influenced by her father, she was determined to dedicate herself to education in mountainous areas. to this mountain elementary school.This very kind girl made me have a sincere respect for her.

We naturally became friends.Sometimes, the three of us would go for a ride outside by bike. An An had already learned how to ride a bike and was riding high, wishing to ride around all day long.During the holidays, we would ride very far, and once we rode to Tang Xinyi's house to enjoy the home-cooked dishes made by her mother.It's really a pleasure to come here and make such a friend.

Once when we were out, Tang Xinyi's new bicycle was stolen, and I had to sit on the back seat to go back to school.The mountain road was uneven and turbulent. Tang Xinyi hugged me tightly. Her soft arms and body against my back made me nervous for no reason. As a result, I rode very carefully and strenuously. It took me half an hour to get back. School.

"You've worked hard." Tang Xinyi said after getting off the car, her eyes were very special, and her face was slightly red.

I felt that kind of special, and I was a little nervous. I didn't want to lose a friend.

After that, I carefully kept a certain distance from her and tried my best to maintain our friendship.

One day Tang Xinyi brought up the question I had been avoiding: "Where is your home? Do you have a 'own' home?"

"It's very far away, you don't even know if you tell me." I smiled.

"Are you married?"

"No."

"Oh." She couldn't restrain her joy.

"You...I..." She was suddenly a little incoherent, not knowing what to say.

"You are my good friend forever, and I am also your good friend." I avoided her gaze and turned to pour tea.

Tang Xinyi didn't speak anymore, she looked at me for a while when she left, her eyes were full of resentment.

After school that Friday afternoon, Tang Xinyi came again. She still smiled at me gracefully, but her eyes were full of bewilderment and depression.

"Mr. Tang, good!" I poured her a cup of chrysanthemum tea.

"Why don't you want to call me Xinyi?" She looked down at the cup in her hand.

I'm speechless.

"Why? Why did you reject me?" She raised her head and looked directly at me, and I saw something glittering in her eyes.

I am still silent.Turning around to face the large window of the small hall, there is a bright sunset outside and a golden chrysanthemum.

Suddenly a warm body was pasted on my back, and Tang Xinyi hugged me tightly.I heard her sobbing.

"Xinyi..." I was shocked.

She immediately turned to face me and looked up at me, where a fire was burning.I didn't feel my heart beat suddenly. I haven't faced a woman like this for a long time, and I reached out and hugged her waist.She immediately hugged me tightly and kissed my neck passionately.

Through her soft long hair, I saw An An.She stood outside the window, dressed in the setting sun, her face behind the light was quiet, she looked at me, then turned and ran away.The time she looked at me seemed to be only a second, and it seemed to last forever.I let go of Tang Xinyi.

"I'm sorry!" I pushed her away, maybe too hard, she staggered and took a few steps back.

"I'm sorry, I can't." I repeated, not expecting my tone to be so cold.

Tang Xinyi bit her lips tightly, wiped away the tears on her face, turned around and took her handbag, and left without a word.I felt a slight tremor in her shoulders.

I started looking for Ann, but couldn't find her anywhere.Finally, back to my study.

An'an was standing in front of my window, facing out of the window with her back to me.

"An'an." I called out.

An An didn't move or speak.

"An'an, what's wrong with you?" I went to hold her hand.

An'an let me hold hands, still didn't move, didn't speak.

I don't know what to say to her.After a long silence, I said:

"An'an, you don't understand things between adults. I... didn't do anything." I explained it clumsily and funny.

An An still didn't speak.

"An'an, you think I'm bad, don't you?"

"No." She finally spoke, with a strong nasal voice.She turned to me with tears all over her face.

"An'an." I reached out and held her in my arms. She had never had such a sad look.

An An lay on my shoulder, trembling.

"You can't like her," she said.

"I don't like it."

"You don't want to be with her!"

"I do not know……"

"You are mine, and mine alone!"

"..."

"You are mine, mine alone..." An An repeated.

"Hmm..." I replied, feeling very confused, An An, what happened to her?What is she thinking?Is it a child who worries that someone else has shared the love of a loved one, or...

"An An, Wen Qing will always be your sister." I said carefully.

"You are not sister."

"Then what am I?"

"I don't know, I don't know. But it's not my sister!"

"I hate her!" An An said sharply.

"Who?"

"That Teacher Tang! How could she...'like' you!"

"She's not malicious..."

"No one can treat you like that!" An An's voice became quieter, almost a whisper.

The warm and soft body I hold has a wordless power that is eroding and melting my whole body and mind.Does An An feel the same way?She's just an 11 year old...

After Tang Xinyi's incident, we returned to our former happiness and tranquility.We seem to be happier than before, the wind in the mountains is so fresh and pleasant, the surrounding green grass is gradually turning yellow but more spectacular, the river beside the Juye is clearer, the distant mountains stretch more, and the sun shines on every inch of land. Running in the wilderness, never tires...

However, in the inexplicably excited joy, I found that my heart lost its peace.

An An has grown up, and I am strongly aware that she has grown up. Her demeanor, movements, and postures are full of vigor and vitality, and her spirit is full of youthful enthusiasm.I admire her free and easy gestures, and I am intoxicated by her frowns and smiles.I was in a trance as if I had returned to my girlhood, and my heart was full of boundless sweetness.This beautiful girl seems to be me, but she is not me, she is full of mysterious charm.

what to do?What should I do?I can't ruin this innocent and beautiful child.Sorrow and darkness enveloped my heart again. This piece of pure land is still pure, but my heart has been covered with dirty red dust. I yearn for a young girl. What the heart attracts will be the desire to possess...

[-]. Go and stay

An'an Primary School is about to graduate, and my "contract" with Xin Dekang is about to expire. I don't have a clear idea of ​​where I want to go.

In the past seven years, I basically stayed in Liba Village, except for winter and summer vacations.

Every summer vacation, An An was taken to live with her parents for three weeks, as well as winter vacation.Song's mother will stay in S City for a week, and then go to see her children and grandchildren.

During that time, I would travel around and collect folk songs. I couldn't let myself be completely separated from the outside world, and I couldn't let my writing and thinking dry up.The Xin Dekang couple have always paid me a high salary, and I have published many works one after another, so there is no financial difficulty.I bought a relatively high-end camera, and took pictures of many beautiful scenery and people's lives and customs in various places. I developed the photos and took them back to show An An.

During the roaming time, I contacted my family, and my father has never been able to forgive me, let alone accept me.My sister once said that he actually misses me very much, but he still can't face me and Xiaoling appearing in his life circle, so knowing that I am safe will continue his dignity.Except for my father, other relatives will keep in touch with me twice a year. They don't know that I have broken up with Xiaoling and think that I have always been happy.I don't know where I live, I never write to them, I just contact them by landline on the street.

I'm as stubborn as my dad, and I don't want him to know that I've been abandoned, and I don't want him to know that I'm homeless like a stray dog.In short, I can't lose to him.

Liba Village, this is the living environment I want, and I don't need to let myself be disturbed by the outside world.

Ever since I found out that I was in love with An'an, I knew that I was going to leave this place forever, and I even longed to leave quickly. I was afraid that one day I couldn't help but expose myself...

Two months before An An's graduation, Xin Dekang came back suddenly, alone.After An An rested, he had a long talk with me.

He said he wanted to talk to me about some personal issues, please forgive me.These "personal questions" were whether I was in a hurry to go home, whether I was looking forward to getting married... When he got a negative answer from me, he begged me to stay, for another two or three years, because he was in great trouble.I couldn't reply to him for a while, and my heart was very confused.

A month later, Xin Dekang and his wife came back together, and Su Weiying also asked me to have a long talk, which ended in tears.

I finally know the truth about their "trouble".

Xin Dekang and his wife have been separated for many years, and during this time they are in the process of divorce agreement.Their experience is embarrassing.

Su Weiying worked in a state-owned enterprise after graduation, and later the state-owned enterprise transformed into a foreign company.In those years when Xin Dekang started her business, she was unwilling to give up her career, and her income was always guaranteed, which could relieve Xin Dekang's pressure on starting a business.In those years when Xin Dekang supported her younger siblings to study, she experienced the hardships of life. In addition, Xin Dekang was busy with work, and the communication between the two became less and less.

After Xin Dekang founded the company, he became rich and powerful, and he often brought his temper home, especially Su Weiying, who was highly educated, could not stand the machismo and extreme traditional thinking in his bones. Su Weiying disobeyed his parents and married Xin Dekang out of deep love. But years of hard work have resulted in a gradual loss of warmth, and a serious loss in my heart.After An An was born, Xin Dekang asked Su Weiying to give up her job and become a full-time wife. Su Weiying felt that there was an obvious emotional rift between them. Slowly westernized, she knew the importance of maintaining financial independence for women, so she refused.

There was also a big dispute between the two parties about where to raise the child. Su Weiying wanted to bring the child with him, and asked his mother-in-law to move to the city. If the mother-in-law was unwilling, she could hire a nanny, but Xin Dekang is a dutiful son, so he can't be wronged The mother of her life, in order to take care of her mother's wish to stay in her hometown, still left her child in the mountains.

The friction of these life concepts and tempers is constantly wearing down each other's feelings.When Grandma An An passed away, the relationship between the two had completely broken down. Considering that An An, who had just lost her mother, could not lose her father or mother immediately, they have always maintained a relationship of husband and wife in vain.Worried about the negative impact of leaving the child with the separated couple, he decided to hire a private tutor.

They are very fortunate to have found me, and they are even more fortunate that An An can grow up healthily and happily.Two years earlier, the two began to agree on divorce matters.Su Weiying was once sent by the company to a foreign country for investigation, and she strongly felt the huge contrast between life and environment at home and abroad, so she planned to take An An to a foreign country.The two have been at loggerheads over the custody of their child.This delay is another two years.Recently, Su Wei's sister outside the UK said that her parents are getting old, especially her mother's body is getting weaker and weaker, and she may pass away soon, and she really wants to be reunited with her in the past.Su Weiying had to reluctantly give up the custody of the child.

Abandoning a child is already a very painful thing, and it just happened that Xin Dekang's company was involved in a lawsuit. It is estimated that it will not be resolved in a year or so, and Xin Dekang may be arraigned.The younger brothers and sisters of Xin Dekang who work in Xin Dekang's overseas branch and work in the south have their own families and have given birth to many children, all of whom are still young. Xin Dekang feels sorry for his younger siblings who cannot take care of them.Su Weiying was very anxious.

I used to be very dissatisfied with the couple's ruthlessness towards their children, but now I know it's because of too much affection...

An An graduated from elementary school, and she was admitted to a key middle school in the county with excellent grades.The school held a small and lively graduation ceremony, and both Xin Dekang and his wife attended it.Because the parents attended the school's activities for the first time, and they were the only parents with status and culture among the many parents.An An was very excited, but also a little shy.At the graduation ceremony, An An spoke on behalf of more than 60 students from the two graduating classes. An An's article was beautifully written and won warm applause from all the teachers, classmates and parents.Su Weiying was so excited that he kept crying, and Xin Dekang's eyes were also red.This couple should have all kinds of feelings in their hearts.

Looking at the happy An An, who was blushing, I felt sad.Today may be the happiest day for this girl in the past 12 years. She doesn't know what is happening behind the happiness, something extremely cruel, and this dream of reunion that she finally hoped for will soon be shattered.

At An An's graduation ceremony, I saw Tang Xinyi again.Since I explicitly rejected her, she has never been to An An's house, and I only met her as a parent during the parent-teacher meeting.Even at the parent meeting, she kept avoiding me, and didn't even give me a chance to apologize and ask for a good time.

She is still so pure, but no longer bright and radiant.

After the event, she came to me: "Wen Qing, I think..." She stuttered because of her pride, sadness, and excitement.

"Well, let's find a place to sit and talk, shall we?" I smiled at her.

"Yeah." She relaxed.Invite me to her dormitory.

After I greeted the Xin Dekang couple and An An, I followed her away.

Tang Xinyi's dormitory is very simple, with only simple beds, desks and stools, a relatively large bookcase, which is actually a wooden shelf, and a small wooden wardrobe.The room is clean and bright, with a sense of cleanliness and tranquility in its simplicity.This girl with a rare love is actually really nice...

"I really want to ask you a question." After asking me to sit down, she hesitated and said.

"It's okay, you can ask anything." I said.

"You..." She lowered her head, seemed to be taking a deep breath, then raised her head, looking at me bravely with bright eyes: "Are you a person who likes women?"

"Yes." I didn't evade.

"I'm very bad, aren't I?" Her eyes quickly flooded with water.

"No, you're fine, really fine."

"Then why..." She frowned, trying to control her emotions.

"I..." I didn't know what to say.

"Are you here because of emotional trauma?" She fell silent.

"Yeah," I admit, "I loved a girl once, and we got along for ten years. Then it ended."

"You came here." Sympathy and pity flashed in her eyes.

"Correct."

"You no longer believe in love?" Her eyes warmed up.

"Not at all……"

"You like Xin An, don't you?" Her eyes were like lightning.

"..." I was stunned.

She turned to find a piece of paper on the desk, and brought it to me.On the paper is An An's childish and beautiful handwriting:

The best wish: to be with you until old age.

Best wishes: May you be happy forever, I will be happy only when you are happy.

— Xin An

"Before graduation, I asked the students to write down their wishes and blessings." Tang Xinyi looked lonely, "Xin An likes you, not just like you, I can tell. I reviewed the various situations we were together, and you are indeed like lovers." ..."

"An'an is just a child, she doesn't understand..." I obviously lack confidence.

"Xin An is not a simple child, her thinking has long been very mature." Tang Xinyi's tone was very clear, "You must understand. But, you would rather love a child than me..." Her eyes flickered hate.

"That's not the case... You are a very good girl and should find a man to marry."

"I don't like men. I just like women." Tang Xinyi looked directly at me, "I liked two girls before, but I was still young, so I didn't dare to say it, and I was also very scared..." Tears flowed down my face as she spoke .

I had nothing to say, just looked at her silently.I thought, if there was no An An, would I be with her?

"Today I want to ask one last time," she paused, "Can we be together?"

I looked at her eyes mixed with anticipation and panic, without words.Ann has occupied my whole heart, and I can no longer love others now.

"Say it!" Tang Xinyi approached me and grabbed my arms.

"Xinyi, I'm sorry." I stopped looking into her eyes, turned around and walked out of her dormitory.

Does Ann really like me?Is it the love of love?No, she is just a 12-year-old girl, and I am already 29 years old... An An's love is just attachment to relatives around her, a kind of hazy yearning for a developing girl...

Blowing the wilderness in June, mixed with the green grass that was sun-dried and giving off a faint fishy smell, I pushed my bicycle and walked home. I wanted to walk slowly and adjust my thoughts. I need some quiet time to think alone, An An The whole family is waiting for me, waiting for me who is calm and rational.

From a distance, I saw An An waiting for me in front of the wooden gate in the middle of the fence, and ran over as soon as she saw me.

"Why don't you ride a bike? The sun is so hot!" She looked at my slightly sweaty face and raised her hand to wipe it off.

"The smell of the field in June is very special, I want to enjoy it." I said with a smile.

"My mother said she was going to take me to the seaside for a trip, so you can go too! Let's go together!" An An was very excited.

"You spend so much time with me, why don't you just go with your mother!" This was the last time she was with her mother before the family broke up...

"I want to watch the sea with you!" She acted coquettishly.

"Go with mom this time, next time I will go with you, okay?" I looked into her smiling eyes.

"Then we went on a trip, where are you going? Are you going back to your hometown?" She pouted.I have been lying to them that every winter and summer vacation I go home to reunite with my relatives, but I haven't revealed where my "home" is.

"Well, I miss my parents too." I smiled.

"Okay." She walked home next to me, "I'm only allowed to go back for two weeks, absolutely no more than three weeks!"

"Obey! Little princess!" She ordered in a playful tone.In fact, she is not only a princess, but also the queen who dominates my heart...

Seven, can not love you

The Xin Dekang couple made an appointment with me, and before they frankly divorced An An, I returned to Liba Village.