Love you as life

I walked towards the field behind the university, where there was an open railway.

During my four years in college, I went for walks in that field many times. I like the land, the green color of fruits and vegetables, and the muddy fields and sandy soil in the boundless vast world.

I'm not here for a walk this time, I want to disappear into this field.

In the distance, I heard the whistle of the train, and the rhythmic click of the wheels colliding with the rails, approaching from a distance, covering all the sounds in the world, and resounding through my ears. s life.However, I'm still far away from the train road, and I can't catch this train...

I looked at the long iron figure that was gradually disappearing, and I knew that I would be at peace forever with the friction between the iron sheet and the sleepers on the next train.

I sat down on the field closest to the railway, and the sleepers slightly sunken in the middle were silent in front of my eyes, then shook, and then blurred...In a trance, I heard singing:

在 那 桃花 的 地方

have my lovely hometown

Peach trees reflected in the clear water

Peach forests surround the beautiful village

what……

home

The place where I was born and raised...

My hometown, my hometown, my village, my beautiful village, the land that I often farm with my mother, brothers and sisters...it is in the place where the peach blossoms are blooming...

I seem to have returned to a long time ago. I was running in the rice field, holding a handful of rice tightly in my hand, and shouting as I ran: "Mom, look, I picked up such a lot of rice ears..."

I don't know when, my face was wet, all wet.I wiped the wet liquid from my face and stared blankly at another train speeding past me, but the song was so loud that it drowned out the roar of the train, and long after the train had disappeared, it Still singing, singing on the long horizon...

Not it, but another one:

A big river with wide waves

The wind blows the scent of rice and flowers on both sides

My family lives on the shore

I'm used to the chant of Gong Gong

Used to seeing the white sails on the boat

……

I stood on the square table in front of my house and sang, and I also sang "A Great River with Wide Waves", when suddenly a very loud voice yelled: "Wow, Wen Qing sings so beautifully! My daughter is so good!" My mother finished work Yes, I'm coming back with baskets.I blushed in embarrassment...

Another train roared past, why so many trains?

"Mom, what's the train like?"

"I don't know either."

"I want to watch the train."

"When you grow up, take the train to a big city to go to university, okay?"

"Well. At that time, you can take the train when you go to see me at the university."

"Yes, Wenqing is so good!" Mom stroked my head.

This is where?what time is thisI shook my head in a daze, and turned to look at the melon field next to me. An old farmer in a vest was picking melons under a melon vine that was much higher than him. They were water melons, loofahs, and beans... He seems to be very happy to pick it, his mouth seems to keep opening and moving... I saw the small black tape recorder on the ridge of the field, and I suddenly woke up: those singing voices came from there, and the old farmer was humming... …

I forgot about the train and the sleepers, and just watched the old farmer pick melons and sang, and listened to the songs I used to sing when I was a child played out of the little black tape recorder...

After a long time, I stood up and left the train road.I want to live, live happily like that old farmer, live full of dreams like when I was a child...

It was June, right out of college, and I was 22 years old.

In the summer vacation of my junior year, my parents found out about Xiaoling and I, and they were so angry that my father said that I would never go back to that house until I broke up with Xiaoling.

In my senior year, I worked part-time to earn my own living expenses.I went back during the winter vacation and was kicked out by my father because I couldn't break up with Xiaoling.I spent that year alone in college, and Xiaoling went back to her hometown in Xinjiang.

On the eve of graduation, I was busy interviewing and choosing a unit. Xiaoling told me that I don't need to consider her work assignment, because she has a boyfriend, and she will follow him wherever he goes.

I don't want to go home, I don't know where my home is.I thought of ending my life in orbit...

Because of that old farmer and those songs, I changed my mind.

I have packed away all my books, which are my only possessions, and are my never-ending friends that I must keep by my side.I left the city where I went to college, even though I've found a really nice unit.I want to go a little farther away.

In S City, another city far away, I found a place I wanted to go in a job advertisement.

I handed my resume and certificate to Mr. Xin Dekang who was sitting behind a large desk.

I said: I want to apply for this job.

The 36-year-old Mr. Xin Dekang looked at me suspiciously for a while, and opened my file.Then he looked at me in surprise for a long time.

"Are you a graduate of the Chinese Department of ** University?"

"Yes."

"It's a national key university."

"Ah."

"I'm hiring a governess."

"Ah."

"Are you really here to apply for a job as a tutor?"

"Correct."

"...My condition is to go to a mountain village one or two thousand kilometers away."

"I know."

"I want to know why you applied."

"I need money, and you pay a lot of money. I need work, and I like this job very much. I need quietness, especially the quietness of the mountain village."

"But your conditions... you can find a better job."

"I like children, I like writing, and I like being clean. I can be a tutor while making myself a writer. Is this enough reason?"

"I need people who can work continuously for several years, even until my children graduate from primary school."

"no problem."

"Would you like... to spend your youth in a mountain village?"

"It's a personal matter, and I'm well aware of my choices."

"How can I trust your sincerity?"

"What kind of person do you think is sincere? Younger or older? Lower or higher educated?"

"It's impossible to be sure, because there are many unexpected factors."

"Accidental applicants like me."

"Okay! Then we've made an agreement and we'll be leaving the day after tomorrow. What do you think?"

"it is good."

I like to watch "The Call of the Far Mountain" by Takakura Ken, where the people call him, and I like Jane Eyre's Thornfield Manor, where Mr. Rochester calls her.

Nobody calls me.I don't need a lover, my heart is dead.

My longing for distant mountains is just an escape from reality, or I can be said to be called, which is what Tao Yuanming called me.

After getting off the plane, the Xin Dekang couple called a taxi and ran straight to their home.The car gradually left the urban area and entered a suburb where urban and rural areas meet.

Soon, the car left the flat field and entered a stretch of mountains.The green eyes outside the car are flying away in a hurry.

"Jane—" Rochester cried out in despair.

"Is anyone there? Who's there?"

"It's you, Jane."

"It's really you!"

"I really want to reside in that glorious world, never to worry, not to see it with hazy tears, nor to pursue it with a painful heart, but to really be with it, in it ’ said Catherine.

"My love for Edgar is like the leaves in the woods. When winter changes the trees, they will change the leaves. My love for Heathcliff is like the eternal rock in the ground... I love Heathcliff. Scriff! He's in my heart all the time, not as a pleasure, but as a part of me." Catherine held Ellen's arms tightly.

"God is my witness, God is my witness, the Yankees will never break me down. When I get through this, I'll never starve again, and I'll never let my kin starve again, Even if you let me steal, rob, and kill. Please God witness for me, I will never go hungry again!" Scarlett returned to the destroyed home and stood on the top of the hill.

……

The dialogues of "Jane Eyre", "Wuthering Heights" and "Gone with the Wind" alternately appeared in my mind.When I was a sophomore, Xiaoling and I took an elective course of film and literature appreciation. We watched these films several times. lines.Xiao Ling likes Jane Eyre the most, accepts Catherine reluctantly, and hates Scarlett.I like the emotion of "Wuthering Heights" the most, the manor of "Jane Eyre" and the red land of "Gone with the Wind", and appreciate Scarlett's bravery.We criticize each other, and finally forget all dissent in the recitation of the lines...

Those nights were our manor dreams.

Mrs. Danvers went mad and set fire to Manderley Manor...

Now those nights, like Manderley Manor in Rebecca, vanished with Rebecca's ghost.

Outside the window is the pure air, the panting of the mountains, the breath of the soil, the joy of the green trees and grass, drilled into my nostrils and lungs, and blown into my heart.This is not a manor, but a mountain village in China, simple and light.We stopped at the foot of the mountain, which is composed of many villages.

Liba Village, this village with a poetic name accepted me.

The still river

"Xin'an! Come here! This is Sister Wenqing who came to our house to accompany you. Call me Sister Wenqing." Mr. Xin Dekang shouted happily and loudly, while leading me to a "fence garden" in the open green field.

Xin'an.

A little girl standing by the wooden door in the sunset.

The silent posture in white clothes and blue trousers is like a long-lasting memory.

Xin'an.

Round and fair face, clean, peaceful, pure beauty.

Her short hair glowed golden brown in the sun.

Xin'an.

Under the slender eyebrows there is a deep and broad world, in which lives the gentleness of green grass in spring, the clarity of mountain springs in summer, the loneliness of fallen leaves in autumn, and the vastness of snowfields in winter.

Her eyes are focused, distant and lonely.

My heart seemed to freeze, and I saw myself at the end of the years, standing there so truly, standing by the wooden door, under the setting sun, silent, distant, and lonely.

"Xin An, call my sister!" Xin Dekang walked over and took her hand.

The little girl struggled away from her father's hand awkwardly, looked at me with big, clear and compassionate eyes, and after a while, she yelled crisply: "Hello, Wen Qing!"

"Sister Wenqing! It's impolite to call my sister by her first name." Mr. Xin Dekang frowned.

"Wen Qing, Wen Qing, my name is Wen Qing!" the child suddenly yelled loudly.

"Oh, why is this child so stubborn!" Xin Dekang was a little angry.

"Hey, it's not An Anjue. After watching "Home Alone", An An doesn't want to call people sister or aunt. She has to learn how those little ghosts call people by their names." A woman in her fifties came out.

"Oh, Mama Song, this is Miss Wen Qing who invited me to accompany An An." Xin Dekang introduced to her, and then turned to me: "Well, Miss Wen, this is Mama Song."

"Oh, good, good, good, now An'an has company. Miss Wenqing, hello, hehehe..." Her slightly fat and plump face was full of smiles.

"Hello." I smiled at her, "Just call me Wen Qing." At the same time, I turned my gaze back to the little girl named Xin An.

"An An, be friends with my sister, okay?" I walked over and squatted down, holding her little hand.

This little child, An An, still looks at me with clear and transparent eyes. The evening sun shines on her long eyelashes, and she has a very moving beauty, pure, holy, and full of affection.

"It's not sister, it's Wenqing." She obediently let me hold her hands.

"Well, it's Wen Qing. Wen Qing wants to make friends with An An, can you?"

"Okay, I agree. Let's pull the hook." She said seriously, pulling her little hand out of mine.We hooked our fingers and said together: "The pull hook—hanging—100 years—not allowed to change—if it changes—becomes a puppy—" An An laughed happily after pulling it.

"Hey, An An hasn't smiled like this for a long time, it's all right now, hehehe..." Song Ma said.

"An'an, baby—" Mrs. Xin came over carrying a lot of luggage, "Mother Song, come and help carry things."

Seeing her mother coming, An An's smile disappeared.

"Baby, mom misses you, come here and give mom a hug—" Mrs. Xin put down her luggage and walked over quickly with her arms open.

An An suddenly turned around and ran to the side opposite to her mother outside the door. She ran very fast and disappeared in an instant.

Xin's house is very big, it is a two-story green brick building. On the first floor, there are living room, dining room, kitchen, bathroom and two rooms - one is Song Ma's bedroom, the other is a utility room, and there is a semi-open small room. The living room is actually a place that is half a study and half a lounge.There are four suites on the second floor, all of which are fully furnished with double beds.The style of the whole house is simple, soft and elegant.The yard around the building is very large, and it is densely surrounded by a long thick fence to form a huge oval shape. The fence is covered with vines, morning glory, and wolfberry, wild yam and pomegranate trees are planted beside the fence. It's wild.On the left side of the gate, there is a big pagoda tree with a large and wide crown, which is much higher than the building and extends to the outside of the fence.There is a large round stone table and several stone stools built under the locust tree.On the right side of the gate is an open vegetable field.

This is simply a gorgeous country house, simple and natural on the outside, elegant and lofty on the inside.

During dinner, An An was sitting next to me, shoveling rice into her mouth without saying a word.Mr. Xin and his wife teased her, but she just looked at them.

"Xin An, why don't you talk to your parents?" Mr. Xin asked.

"Grandma said, you can't talk when you eat." An An looked at her father and then at her mother with special eyes.

"Oh, then let's have a good meal." Mr. Xin was a little impatient.

After the meal, Mrs. Xin took An An to her side, trying to hug her, but An An struggled to get out, and didn't stop until she saw her mother was in tears. relative.Mrs. Xin talked to her for a while, but she only said "hmm" a few times.In the end, Mrs. Xin went to take out the gift she brought back, and An An became a little enthusiastic, but this enthusiasm lasted for a short time, and soon she lost her energy again.There are some candies, clothes and skirts and so on, and many toys, all of which are very beautiful. I am surprised that the child does not like them.

After dinner and before going to bed, Mr. Xin has been sitting in front of the TV, watching war movies with great interest.When Mrs. Xin left An An to go back to the room, he called An An over. An An was instinctively afraid of his majestic tone, and approached him obediently and reluctantly. Mr. Xin pointed to the vacant seat on the side , Let An An sit down, he doesn't ask for hugs or kisses, An An will not hide.Mr. Xin pointed to the TV and said to An An: "This battle was fought beautifully! Did you see it, another plane was shot down..." An An obviously didn't like war movies, and she said "hmm" a few times Finally, he said, "Dad, I'm going to take a shower." Mr. Xin still stared at the TV and said, "Okay, let's go!"

"Wen Qing, can you go up with me?" An An walked to my side, looking at me quietly with deep eyes.

"Okay." I led this special little girl out of the living room.

The Xin Dekang couple arranged for me to share a room with An An, and An An's things had already been moved up from Song Ma's room.I don't have any objection to this arrangement. My elder brother's son is six years old. During the previous winter and summer vacations, he would often come to sleep with me and pester me to tell him stories.

"Does An An want Mama Song to bathe? Or Wen Qing?" I asked.

"I'll wash it myself." An An became shy.

Seeing me puzzled and laughing, he said:

"I know how to wash. I have been bathing myself since I was three years old, and it is very clean." After speaking, he laughed.

"An An's smile is so beautiful! Wen Qing likes to see An An smile every day." I squatted down and touched her face, she looked at me happily, and she didn't even evade.

That night, An An nest slept soundly next to me.I like to see children sleeping, every sleeping child is like an angel.An An slept soundly, her round face was peaceful and serene, like a flower quietly waiting to bloom, her long eyelashes covered her face into a beautiful and lovely semicircle, and there seemed to be a smile on her mouth.Looking at this pure child, I felt inexplicably distressed, how could Xin Dekang be so rude to the child, why didn't such a cute child be with him?At the same time, I was very curious, how could An An reject her parents like this, would such a small person have hatred?

The Xin Dekang couple returned to City S after staying for two days, and the taxi they booked arrived early in the morning.After An An woke up, she kept lying in front of the window and looked at the black taxi not far away.During breakfast, Mr. Xin kept telling An An to listen to sister Wenqing and learn from her sister. Mrs. Xin said that she would call her mother if she missed her.While talking, she hugged An An, this time An An didn't resist, and let her mother hug and kiss quietly, but she didn't have a happy expression.

When the Sin Dekang couple got into the car, they couldn't find the child. Later, I found her outside the house on the side facing away from the road. She was sitting against the fence, with her legs spread apart, playing with a weed plant with her little hands. , staring blankly at the green and distant fields, in the distance are planted a large field of corn, a large field of apple trees, and a long curved ditch shining intermittently with golden light. There are many, many weeds...

The morning sun was mild and clear, and when it shone on this child, there was an indescribable solemnity.I seem to see another girl at the end of the years. She often stands at the entrance of the village and looks around. Day after day, often when the sun sets and the insects in the field start to chirp, I hear an old man shouting: "Wen Qing—— Let's go home for dinner—" before she left the main road where her mother would not appear, with tears in her eyes.

Melancholy should not belong to children, but I saw melancholy in An An's eyes, just like me once melancholy.The sense of familiarity that shocked my heart made me feel as if life had never flowed, it was still at the source of time, and I could clearly see its true face when I turned around.

I approached An An, sat next to her, and pulled up a piece of grass from the ground, looked at the rising sun and the boundless fields, then lowered my head, and started to weave rings with that weed grass. She wore all ten fingers, and then weaved it for myself to wear all ten fingers.An An looked back a long time ago, staring curiously at my fingers and the jumping grass. I laughed when I wore them all too, and we played devil's war with our ten green-furred fingers, and ran around the fence till we were both out of breath.

"An'an, are you happy?" I asked.

"Happy, very happy." An An raised her face and looked at me, her clear eyes were like two sparkling springs.

"Wen Qing, will you go?" The smile on An An's face suddenly disappeared again.

"Don't go, I want to stay with you for a long time." I took her hands.

"How long is a long time?" She looked at me without blinking.

"Uh, just to grow up with you, to grow up to be very big."

"How big is very big?"

"Well, it's just that you don't want me to accompany you."

"Oh——" An An smiled contentedly, and walked home while holding my hand: "Let's go back and read books. I want to hear you tell me stories. Dad said you know a lot of stories."

[-]. The world of mortals and pure land

I learned the story of the Xin family from Mama Song.

Xin Dekang is the eldest son of this family. He has five younger siblings. The elder brother and younger sister were not raised and died when he was a few years old. The age difference between him and the other younger siblings is at least ten years. **When he was four years old, Xin's father, who worked as a cadre in a small town, passed away. Before he died, he told Xin Dekang to keep studying and get out of the mountains when he had the opportunity.Since then, life for the Xin family has been very difficult.After the resumption of the college entrance examination in [-], Xin's mother, who knew the news, urged her son to fulfill his father's last wish.As the eldest son, Xin Dekang hesitated again and again, and decided to study hard, vowing to change the situation of the whole family after his academic success.Smart and hardworking, he was admitted to university in the second year.Xin Dekang did odd jobs while studying. When he couldn't find odd jobs, he picked up waste and garbage, and finally finished his studies.For the sake of his younger siblings' studies, Xin Dekang jumped out of the state unit and went into the sea. Since he was a small carpenter at home, he started to do decorations for others, and later established a construction company, and sent all three younger siblings to college. After graduation Just work in the branch of Xindekang in other places.

Xin's wife, Su Weiying, is Xin Dekang's college classmate. She is a woman from a coastal village with parents and a younger sister.My younger sister married to a foreign country before Su Weiying graduated from university. Su’s mother hoped that her eldest daughter would follow the same path. Su Weiying was unwilling to go and insisted on staying with Xin Dekang. Su’s mother thought that Xin Dekang’s family was too poor, so the mother and daughter fell out. Later, the parents of the Su family immigrated to foreign countries with their daughters.

Due to the difficulties in starting a business, Xin Dekang and his wife had no children until their younger brothers and sisters left the mountainous area.Under the repeated urging of Xin's mother, they gave birth to An An.Because Xin's mother wanted to stick to her hometown in the mountains, Xin Dekang and his wife left their children in the mountains to accompany the elderly.In the first half of the year, Xin's mother passed away. Xin Dekang and his wife said that their children were used to life in their hometown, and they were also very busy, so they invited a tutor to accompany the children.

Mama Song is Mama Xin’s little sister from the same village. Her husband died in her early years. Later, her son and daughter joined the army going south to work. day.Mama Song and Mama Xin are as close as sisters. After An An was born, she moved to live with Mama Xin to take care of each other.Mama Song loved An An as her granddaughter, and Mama Xin's departure made her love An An even more.Based on such feelings, Xin Dekang and his wife felt at ease to keep the child.

I have seen this kind of story a lot in books, but what I feel personally is here, here - Fence Village, which makes me feel that every fence in this village seems to carry a heavy story.

I also know why An An is so special.For a child, there is nothing more difficult than leaving parents.For this point, I have a deep understanding.

When I was young, because my family was poor, my father went to work in the coal mine, and my mother and her adoptive mother worked in the countryside. Because the children were too busy, and to comfort the hearts of the elderly, my elder brother Wen Zhong and younger sister Wen Jing were placed at my grandma’s house, and I was placed at home. In the mother's biological mother's house, only the second elder brother Wen Hua and the eldest sister Wen Jing followed her.One family is divided into four families... Although my grandma loves me very much, that kind of feeling cannot replace my mother's love...

I thought my experience was unique to the era when the whole country was poor, but I didn't expect it to still exist 20 years later.An An, a child of the new era, still lived a childhood similar to mine...

Looking back at the years again, I once again found its striking eternity, eternal sadness and helplessness.

I often look at An An beside me, this special child, just like looking at me when I was a child, my heart is full of painful love.Behind An An's "hatred" towards her parents is a strong desire for love, longing for the warmth and hug of her parents, especially for her mother's delicate care, but her mother is always away, so she hates her, and runs away whenever she sees her, especially when she sees her mother If you want to be close to her, you have to run, and use this alienation to punish your mother, even though she wants it so much.

What kind of child is this?

I understand the deep and broad world in her eyes, the gentleness of green grass in spring, the clarity of mountain springs in summer, the loneliness of fallen leaves in autumn, and the vast world of snowfields in winter.I understand her focused, long-distance, and melancholy eyes, even though she may not be clear about it, it is the natural expression of her inner subconscious...

After coming to Liba Village, An An became my little tail, following me all day long, or I could be said to be her big tail. In front of her, I didn’t have the majesty of a big sister, and she liked to command me very much.

An An asked me to tell her a story for an hour every afternoon and an hour every night.

Every time after telling a story, An An asked: "Is that all? Is that all?" She was very dissatisfied with those short stories, and always hoped that the stories could never be finished, so that she could keep asking me: " And then? Then?" I want to get a result in the questioning, but I can't get a "final" result.What she wants is "result", not "end".

And no matter how long the story is, she still has to ask: "What happened later? What happened later?" Until that person, that animal, that thing died and disappeared.But at this time she was sad and confused again: "Why do you have to die? Why can't you not die?" I had to say: "They are tired and need a good rest." "Then will they still wake up? After waking up What happened again?"...

An An asked me to play boxing games with her under the locust tree in the yard, play with stones, tease insects, play flying chess, and cut out her colorful paper cards, which were hand-cut paper-cuts brought back by her parents.Ask me to squat on the ground with her, fill the bottle with sand, fill it with water, and then let it fall out in lumps, while scolding and saying: "Oh, you are so full that you vomit. , to see if you dare to be greedy next time..."

I am a "good Wenqing" who listens to her command, and she is also a "good An'an" who listens to my command. I want her to accompany me to visit and appreciate her beautiful hometown.

An An happily and honorably accepted the task.

"Is An An a good tour guide?" I asked.

"Of course." Ann said confidently.

In the morning we got up early, walked around the yard twice and had breakfast. After that, I took An An to the wild, ran in the wild, bypassed the cornfields and apple groves, went to the ditch to catch small fish and shrimps, and touch small snails Little clam, catch insects in the poplar forest, watch the birds and eggs in the willow forest, sit in the wild and sing.

Later, I found a magnifying glass in a small town a few miles away, so I bought two. I went with An An to see the ants and caterpillars on the leaves, and also magnified the stamens and young leaves to see the "structure" inside. An An said she wanted to Find out where the bones and flesh of flowers and grass are, see how they bleed, and better overhear their whispers...

There are bicycles the size of An An’s family. I ride An An around, ride along the potholed yellow mud path to a nearby big river, lie on the grass slope and watch the flowing clouds, and sometimes I fall asleep looking at An An When she was asleep, I sat up and hugged her in my arms, while taking out a book I carried with me to read.Most of the time, we walked along the flat rhubarb mud road. We walked through scattered villages one after another, and rode until we reached the cement road on the mountainside leading to towns, county towns and even the whole world outside. We stood there overlooking the mountain villages at our feet. .

God is a magical painter. He used a big brush to smear out the boundless sky, outline the mountains, drag out fields, point out forests, and draw a few meandering streams, and then, like Nuwa, With a brush, the remaining ink was scattered among the mountains and rivers, and it became a village with uneven density.These gray villages are too casual and unrestrained, so that they seem to be natural and harmonious with the mountains and rivers.

I think, can it be understood in this way that the fairness of God is also reflected in the natural beauty he bestows on human beings, but at the same time, he also imposes poverty?The village lying in the embrace of mountains is primitive and silent.Therefore, people in the mountains run outside, chasing prosperity while losing nature, and people outside the mountains go to the mountains, losing prosperity and gaining peace at the same time.And there are far more people who pursue prosperity than those who pursue tranquility, so the pure land in the world of mortals disappears inch by inch, and the peace of mind in people's hearts decreases bit by bit.

What I want is the pure land in the world of mortals, what I want is the peace outside the troubled world.I appreciate the primitive world of a locust tree in front of the door, a poplar tree behind the house, and the little girl beside me who is as pure as nature, An An.

"An'an, your hometown is so beautiful. It is a piece of pure land in the world of mortals." I said.

"What is Hong Chen?" An An looked up at me.

"Uh--the world of mortals...it's a place full of noise and troubles." I replied lamely.

"Oh...then what is pure land?"

"Well, it's a quiet, beautiful and happy place like your hometown."

"hipster."

"Ok?"

"Did you enjoy your stay?"

"I like it, I like it very much."

"are you happy?"

"Very happy, very very happy!" I knelt down and looked at the child with gentle eyes in front of me, "I'm even happier when I look at you!" I kissed her on the face.

An'an blushed, and looked at me shyly with her beautiful big eyes.I just remembered that An An doesn't give kisses easily...

"I like it very much too. I like it more and more. I'm still very happy. I'm getting happier." An An said softly, then kissed me quickly on the face, and immediately lowered her head after the kiss, as if doing something He didn't dare to look at me as if something bad had happened.

I picked up this cute little person and quickly spun around a few times: "Oh, we are so happy to fly—" An An giggled happily, and when I was about to turn dizzy and wanted to put her down , she yelled: "I want more, I want more—"

I got excited and shouted to Dashan: "Lijia Village—I like you——"

An An also yelled at Dashan: "I-also-like-like-you-"

In the year before An An went to elementary school, I basically didn't write much. I just played with An An every day, read books, and healed my trauma.In the first six months after I arrived, I often couldn’t help crying. Although I tried my best to avoid An An, she always appeared suddenly when I was sad, looked at me with sympathy and bewilderment, and silently accompanied me. Will also cry with me.

Sometimes An An would sit sadly and think about things.

"What is Ann thinking?" I asked.

"I miss grandma." She looked up at me with teary eyes, "I'm so sad, I want to cry."

"Okay, you can cry well." I put my arms around her head.After she cried enough, I said, "Is grandma happy if she likes An An?"

"I don't like it." An An said softly.

"Grandma likes to see An An smile, doesn't she?"

"Ah."

"Then if An'an laughed every day, all day long, grandma would be happy." I wiped the tears on her cheeks.

"Does grandma know that I laugh?" She raised her crystal teary eyes.

"Of course I know. Grandma is in the sky. We can't see her, but she can see us. She is happy when she sees you happy."

"Really?"

"Hmm! Really." I nodded with certainty.

"Then I'll laugh more. But, what if I miss grandma? What if I want to see grandma?" An An was sad again, "Can I ask grandma to come down from the sky and show me?"

"Grandma can't come down, and An An can't see grandma again. When you want to fuck, just shout to the sky and tell grandma, okay?"

"Ah."

In order not to disappoint this child's "pity", in order not to trigger this child's sadness, I tried my best to forget, laugh, and be happy, and I really came out.

An An, together with her hometown, gave me a whole new world, which is a veritable pure land.

[-]. Stay behind

A year later, An An went to school. There is a primary school in this scattered village, which is far away from Liba Village.