i may be a bug

But I'm not smart at all.

Said by a certain Jiao who was hidden in my golden house.

——Tanikawa Kakutani

Fyodor Mikhailovich Dostoevsky.

D's full name.

Because the name is too long and takes up too many words, even if I memorized it, I only said it once.

D, who was blown by a little wind, had a weakened immunity due to staying up too late, and was still depressed. After his wrist was injured and bandaged, he fell ill immediately.

You can imagine that after I finished the phone call with Junichiro and Naomi, I talked about my situation.Said that I will not go to the detective agency to check in today, and I may not have time to go in a few days. When I came down, I saw a sick blush on the face of a person who was studying mathematics and science in a peaceful manner, and his whole face was burned pitifully under the felt hat. Does it look great?

I ran over and touched his forehead with my hand, it was hot.

He has a high fever.

The whole person became unresponsive under the high fever, and the processing speed of the brain may have dropped a lot due to overheating.In front of him was a mathematics textbook spread out, with a pen still in his hand, and his eyes were trying to read clearly the words in the textbook.

When I appeared in front of him and put my hand on his forehead, it took him a while to react, and turned to look at me, "Cold."

If I wasn't an experienced doctor, I might have sent him to the hospital, but I am a doctor, and a cold and fever appeared in front of me, that was provocative.

Under the high fever, he watched me take out a medical kit from his underground base, which he absolutely did not have, and took out alcohol swabs, a brand-new thermometer, and a pile of cold medicine from it.

I was afraid that his brain was dead and he couldn't accept my words, so I made an "ah" movement, he reacted for a while, then opened his mouth and said "ah", I put the sterilized thermometer in Let him hold it in his mouth.

A patient with a high fever needs to rest, physically cool down, and drink plenty of hot water, but he is unwilling to rest in bed, so I can only give him a quilt to wrap him tightly with only one face exposed, so that he Sit on the floor with a layer of cushions.So now he has a thermometer in his mouth, a quilt wrapped around his body, and a furry hat on his head that prevents the alcohol cotton from wiping his forehead, so he doesn't wear it.

I took the thermometer to see how hot he was, poured a cup of freshly boiled water, and used an instant buff to make the water temperature acceptable for drinking. Pass it to him.

"get medicine."

"bitter."

I repeated: "Take your medicine."

Most of the side effects of cold medicine are drowsiness. Within a few minutes after taking the medicine, he felt that his eyelids were heavy and he couldn't stand up.He poked his hands out of the airtight quilt, pressed the ground, propped himself up and ran back to the bed consciously.

Do you think I will use physical cooling method on D without closing his eyes when he is asleep, and replace him with a new alcohol pad?

Of course not, I put a few buffs to ensure that he will not deteriorate, and then go home and sleep is the normal operation.

When D fell asleep and got up, the fever had subsided.I woke up earlier than him, and when he woke up, I was borrowing his base kitchen to make breakfast.There was freshly poured hot water by his bedside, at just the right temperature, porridge was simmering in the kitchen, and I was cooking my beef noodles in tomato sauce in another pot.

Patients should not eat heavy-tasting food, but should eat something lighter.

I feel no guilt about eating noodles in front of him.

After getting along with this smart head melon seed for a period of time, I feel that he is just a delicate figure, whose body is made of ceramics.On the first day, he had a high fever and caught a cold, and the next day he recovered from the cold, and his head started to hurt again. When the headache got better, he hurt his hand again in the kitchen.She is often wrapped up thickly and complains of coldness, picks her mouth, and does not work normally. She often stares at the faint blue screen of the computer in the middle of the night, biting her fingers and frowning, just like a disobedient child.

During the days when I let him study mathematics and science, he suffered from severe and minor illnesses. The most extraordinary time was when he dug out a bottle of eau-de-vie from the base and drank tons of 96-degree spirits.

Is this drinking?

No, he was drinking medical alcohol.

When I entered through the wall, the whole room smelled of alcohol, and the drinker was coughing and blushing like the time with a high fever.

I:! ! !

After drinking like this, his stomach still doesn't have any stomach problems! ! !

In order to affirm his stomach, and also to prevent him from feeling depressed by having another drinking buddy, I poured three bottles of eaux-de-vie in front of him.

"I'm done drinking, let's do the questions."

"I want to go to the hospital."

"Stomach lavage?"

"Correct."

Let me tell you earlier, if I do gastric lavage, I will do it too, and it's free.I thoughtfully gave him a full set of medical care, free of charge, and the effect was immediate.

The blushing young man lost the stimulation of alcohol, the blushing on his face quickly turned pale, and I flushed the alcohol extract in my hand into the sewer.

Because of these days of tossing, he is much thinner than when I met him.As a sick and weak young man who is not in good health and has to toss himself indiscriminately just to escape from me, I think he should be summing up the experience of the previous dozen failures in his heart.

But under my layers of buffs, even if it is Dazai who is in the same situation, there is no way to get out and escape.

Because I don't draw anything, I just draw pictures of his head to solve the problem, and I also show him for free.

I won't let you go until you finish this exercise book.

If you count it seriously, the time he spent tossing is enough to make two books.

"Is it a space ability?"

In the process of doing the questions, he touched my head several times, and I took it as his personal eccentricity.When he asked me if I had a space ability, I said without hesitation: "Yes." By the way, for the sake of authenticity, I even gave it a name, "The name of the ability is subspace, is it convenient?"

I smiled at him: "Can I talk about the topic?"

During the lecture, his hand never came down from my head. The two of us squeezed together, and when I was very well prepared to expand the space so that it would not make people feel so uncomfortable, he said no, fearing that his hand would be lost.

I was pleasantly surprised: "You are very thoughtful, why didn't I think that I could put your hand in the subspace!"

This may be the IQ gap.

After he inadvertently pointed out the maze for me, he was finally able to go out. I put him in the subspace, making him like a ghost whose feet could step on the ground. There will be no response.

He cannot interact with the environment outside the warp, and the only one who can see him is me.I hid him from the world.

D didn't have much to say, Dazai's evaluation of Junichiro as an "evil dragon" was also D's evaluation to me.

"It doesn't feel real."

"But it's safe."

Even if he said that I was an evil dragon, violated laws and regulations, crossed the bottom line of morality to persecute a thin young man like him, and squeezed his brainpower with the threat of force, I could only smile embarrassedly, and then I would not do it Exercises for him:

"It's okay, if you become a wanted criminal together, I will never let others know that the victim is yours."

D He looked as if he had resigned himself to his fate, and took the question, "What do you have for lunch, I don't want to drink porridge anymore."

"What would you like for lunch?"

"Can I eat anything?"

"Alcohol is not allowed."

He smiled: "Then you like it."

He will regret this sentence, because what I like is instant noodles.When I asked him if he regretted it, he said he would not regret it, and I made a meal of instant noodles with peace of mind.

result……

You can't believe what a man says.

He really regretted it.

"Stop making instant noodles for dinner."

When the exercise book was not finished, I would show up at his underground base on time every morning, put the exercise book on the table, wash my hands and start cooking. Sometimes D gets up, sometimes he doesn't, and when I finish cooking, he must be up.

He might be a little bit angry, sitting on a chair, he didn't know what to think, he seemed to be sleepwalking while eating breakfast, half an hour after eating breakfast, he was completely alive.

Sometimes I have a clearer thinking when I do the questions, and when his workload decreases, I see him biting his finger in front of the computer after I finish the questions, and ask me with great interest: "Tani Chuan-san, what does the world look like in your eyes?"

"Carbon dioxide, oxygen, nitrogen, hydrogen, rare gases."

"Cell, tissue, organ, system, individual, population, community, ecosystem, biosphere."

"Gravity, electromagnetism, strong interaction, weak interaction."

"There are also mathematical formulas and theorems. If you want to understand, I can explain it from the basics."

D indifferently: "No,"

See, he thinks I understand his point of view, wants me to feel that the world is hopeless, wants me to be part of the cleansing of the old world, but he doesn't want to understand my world.

Is chemistry not beautiful, or is mathematics not attractive enough?Even if they don't work, there are biology and physics.If it is a liberal arts student, I can actually draw him a geographical monsoon map and ocean current map, and I can also draw a historical vein map.

"I think you should study geography."

I held his hand and said to him sincerely, "If you want to conquer the world, how can you do it if you don't know every inch of the world?"

He wanted to withdraw his hand, but he didn't, so he could only continue to be indifferent: "No, I don't like geography."

"Then history, history can give you the experience of conquering the world, I think you need these experiences. After all, it is very difficult to realize an unprecedented ideal without finding a practical way."

"I have."

I frowned, "Then do you need to develop political literacy?"

"What do you want to do?"

"I have no money. Let's share the food money!"

"Who needs the canary to pay for the canary?"

"Me! And I don't raise canaries, I raise rats that eat their cages."

"But I'm not biting now."

I said, "Then you bite, right now."

D didn't want to talk to me, turned his face away and continued to love each other with his computer.I still didn't take a penny out of his pocket, obviously he bit off one of the cages that locked him up, and he didn't say a word of truth.

As for why he can bite it off, because the exercise book is almost finished.

The free problem-solving teacher who can prostitute for nothing was rescued by his accomplice after finishing the last problem.The evil dragon whose treasure was stolen sighed and saw Junichiro and Naomi joyfully holding up the exercise book he had written:

"Look, the hardest book is out of my liver!"