Chase the train

There is a small pavilion in the woods next to the second floor of No. [-] Middle School. Lin Yousheng is lying on the stone table, and Long Ye is sitting on the side.

Long Ye: "What happened?"

"It's nothing."

"No one messed with you?"

Lin Yousheng shook his head.

"Oh."

Lin Yousheng tilted his head, looked at Long Ye, "You..."

Those eyes were easy to understand, Long Ye explained: "For Song Shi's sake, I'm looking at you."

When Song Shi was mentioned, Lin Yousheng felt uncomfortable again, "She doesn't even want to give me the title of friend."

After speaking, he heard Long Ye laugh.

"why are you laughing?"

Long Ye leaned back against the pillar, "It's too greedy. If I were you, I would be happy to stay by her side."

Thinking of Song Shi's appearance thousands of miles away from him, Lin Yousheng also understood what he meant, "I'm just not at ease. You know, that is, she is there, but I always feel that she will disappear at any time, will... ..."

Of course there is also greed. When I first saw Song Shi, the girl with a beautiful face was cold, mysterious and dangerous, but once we got along for a long time, and felt the slightest tenderness leaking from the cold appearance, I couldn't help but want to More, especially when Song Shi only shows that kind of accommodating to her alone, this desire is even more obvious.She doesn't want this relationship to be uncontrollable like a dandelion that blows away. She always thinks about using a name to tie her down. At least she can confidently say when introducing to others: This is my friend. .

Since she was a child, she never really owned anything, even if she had, she lost it when she left Lin Yuexia...

Thinking about the word "mine", she would feel indescribably satisfied.

"She's probably...too scared." Long Ye said.

Lin Yousheng sat up and asked him, "What has Song Shi experienced?"

Long Ye hesitated for a moment, clenched and loosened his fists, and then said: "20 years ago, this was not the case here. At that time, the railway bureau had not moved out, and Song Shi's father was an employee of the railway bureau, and he ate public meals. The family income is good, and they married a capable and beautiful daughter-in-law. Many people envy their family. Song Shi's grandfather is a carpenter, and his grandmother is an elementary school teacher. Such a family environment should have raised a little princess."

Lin Yousheng nodded.Indeed, at that time, with such a family, it was absolutely no problem to grow up happily, not to mention how excellent they were, but what about later?

"Just one year before Song Shi was born, the Railway Bureau relocated. In the layoff notice, Song Shi's father was mentioned. All I heard was what the elders said. They said that Song Chengdong is a wimp, a coward, and has no iron. The rice bowl didn't even think about looking for a job, so she just waited at home to eat. Later, Song Shi's mother became pregnant with Song Shi, and she couldn't go to work. The family was supported by two old people, probably because the more useless they were, the more tempered they became. Well, there are too many people like this in that area, and I have no ability to take it out on my family, and I am getting more and more depraved."

"Song Chengdong has become a well-known gambler. He spends his days in mahjong parlors. I saw him once when I was very young. He was lifeless and phony." When Long Ye said this, a look of disdain appeared on his face. His expression didn't show any more respect because Song Chengdong was Song Shi's father.

"and after?"

"He wasn't the only one who was laid off. Many people left here to work in big cities after losing their jobs. Song Shi's mother also wanted to go, but she didn't expect to be pregnant with Song Shi. Later, she gave birth to Song Shi, and she didn't finish her confinement. Some people said she was sober, and some people scolded her, anyway, I have grown up here, and I have never seen her come back."

Lin Yousheng asked: "Have you and Song Shi known each other since childhood?"

"We are neighbors. When she was young, her grandparents took care of her. The two old people are very good. They often give us children something to eat. Now that I think about it, I guess it was because they were afraid that we would bully Song Shi. She was really... "

Lin Yousheng's heart trembled for no reason: "What is it?"

"Very small. She is one year older than me, but she looks very small, thin, short, white, and malnourished, and she looks particularly easy to bully."

"So you... bullied her?"

Long Ye lowered his head, Lin Yousheng couldn't see his expression, but he heard his voice hoarse: "You can't even imagine how bad a child can be. They obviously don't understand anything, but they can understand what they heard from other places. The most hurtful words are made up of gossip, because she doesn't have a mother, and her father is a gambler, so no one makes friends with her and calls her..."

When he said this, he paused for a moment, but it was not difficult for Lin Yousheng to guess the content, because of these, she had also experienced it back then, and she knew too well what kind of dark childhood family members can bring to a child.Some people always say that children are the purest existence in the world, but in fact, their evil is so direct and sharp.

"Later, one year, probably when I was six years old, her father and someone got into a fight in the mahjong parlor, and one person died."

Lin Yousheng felt a buzzing in his head.

"None of the people present that day escaped, and her father was sentenced to 20 years in prison. I still remember that the day the police car came, Song Shi was dragged by her grandmother, watching Song Chengdong being taken away, crying loudly. At that time I don't understand, a man that everyone is scolding, a cowardly, irresponsible wretch, why cry for him, but then I know, because it's her father, no matter what he did, it's him I’m not afraid to tell you that I’ve been chasing her for so many years, not because I like her face so much, but mainly because of… guilt. I was too young at that time, and everything was instilled in me by others They said that Song Chengdong is a waste, and Song Shi is a disaster star. After hearing this, I isolated her and bullied her with them, and did all kinds of excessive things. At least half of her current appearance is because of us. Group of people."

Lin Yousheng didn't speak.

"In order to pay off Song Chengdong's debt, the old man sold everything he could sell. The house you live in used to be the room of Song Shi's parents, and it was exported by Song Chengdong a long time ago, so he reserved a room for Song Shi. I moved away that year and went to Jiangnan with my parents, and I saw Song Shi again at her grandma's funeral."

"……what?"

"When she graduated from elementary school, her grandma passed away. Not long after, her grandpa followed him. The old man was in poor health and couldn't hold on until her son came home. She was only 11 years old at that time. An orphan."

Lin Yousheng felt a little drained.

Song Shi originally had a beautiful family relationship. Even if he was an unhappy childhood, he was held in his hands and loved by others, but he experienced several life and death when he couldn't fully take care of himself.She had personally witnessed Lin Yuexia's departure, and even though she didn't love this mother that much, she felt terrified. One can imagine Song Shi's mood when he went through those experiences.

"Is this world going to be better?" She buried her head in her arms and said in a muffled voice.This action relieved the pain in the chest a little bit.

"what?"

"It's nothing." She raised her head and looked at Long Ye, "So she dropped out of school, is it because of financial reasons?"

Long Ye said: "I dropped out of school in the first year of high school. I was not in Jiangbei at the time, so I don't know, but it shouldn't be because of money. The school has funding, so it wouldn't prevent her from going to school." Long Ye also asked some questions about Song Shi. Classmates, but they don't know, or there is really something inside, but they dare not talk nonsense.

"Thank you for telling me this." Lin Yousheng said with his trembling voice suppressed.

"I just want you to spend more time with her. I've never seen her get so close to anyone. Don't poke her scars, and don't force her to make her happy."

Lin Yousheng's feelings towards Long Ye are very complicated now. He thanked her for telling him this, but also hated him for being one of those perpetrators, "Well. By the way, how is her... how is her health?"

"What? What happened to her body?"

Lin Yousheng just asked casually, thinking of what Old Zhao said "Song Shi is sick" and Song Shi's "incurable disease", he was a little flustered, but when he asked, he thought that even if there was something, Song Shi should not will tell him. "No, it's just that she always looks bad."

"Oh."

Lin Yousheng walked to class one with the books in his arms, thinking about buying a cake for his self-study and going to Ji Zhai, and then packed two portions of Mala Tang, and had a meal with Song Shi.

The scenery outside the car window was constantly changing, the car body was bumping, Song Shi leaned his head against the window, his eyes were open, and he didn't blink.She is actually a little sleepy, every time she takes a long-distance bus, she always sleeps as soon as she gets on the bus and sleeps until she arrives at her destination, but today she just can't sleep, and she doesn't even want to close her eyes.

She pinched her arm with her hands in the sleeves, very hard, very painful, painful, but her consciousness did not give her the desired response, and there was no next dream. She was in reality and was very awake.

But why?It has been fine for more than ten years, why is it suddenly like this, why?

"Sister." The child in the seat next to her reached out and touched her arm with a small hand, "Are you crying?"

The child's mother immediately grabbed her hand, and apologized to Song Shi who turned his head: "The child is skinny, I'm sorry, little girl... Ouch, what happened to this, come and wipe it off, there is nothing wrong with it." ah……"

The child held a tissue in her outstretched hand, but Song Shi didn't pick it up. She raised her hand to wipe her eyes, and the back of her hand was wet.

"Thank you." She took the paper and pressed it on her eyes, "Thank you..."

"It's okay, everything will be fine, it's up to people."

It's man-made.But none of the things she encountered could be changed by her hard work. She could not choose to have a pair of responsible parents, she could not work hard to make her grandparents live longer, and she could not exchange a natural With a healthy body, those damn sad and fucking things are always chasing her, and she can't escape at all.

The mountains and trees outside flashed past quickly, and tears slid out uncontrollably, but the throat was tight and painful, and it was difficult to choke.

"Is Song Chengdong your father?"

"Yesterday afternoon, he passed away in xx hospital. At your father's request, we did not inform you of his illness in advance."

"Please come here as soon as possible."

……

Lin Yousheng carried the cake and bag and walked towards him. Looking from a distance, the end of the street was pitch black and there was no one there.

"Have you gone back..." She sighed, turned and walked back.

The road back to the rental house is not far, and it will be there in 10 minutes. She ran all the way up to the fourth floor, and the voice-activated lights turned on one by one. When she walked to the door, she still saw two dark windows.

Song Shi didn't come back.

The author has something to say:

Poor little Song Shi, alas