not brilliant

Jing Can went out by herself after dinner. The doctor's clinic was some distance away from the subway entrance. When she walked through a small square, Jing Can looked up and saw a huge blue plaque - Shimmer Game City.He only dared to take a glance, and hurried forward before the longing emotion in his heart rose.

Maybe it was because it was night, or maybe it was because Jing Zaixing had greeted the doctor in advance, but the doctor was the only one in the clinic, and it was very quiet.The doctor's surname is Zhao, in his 40s, but looks much younger than his actual age.Seeing Jing Can come in, Dr. Zhao greeted him and asked him what he wanted to drink.

"Water is fine, thank you Dr. Zhao."

Jing Can followed Dr. Zhao to a smaller room. There was a soft sofa in the room. Jing Can sat on it, took a pillow from the side, and hugged it in her arms.

Dr. Zhao brought him a glass of water and came in. Seeing his posture, he didn't say anything, just smiled, and then dimmed the lights in the room.

Before Dr. Zhao could speak, Jing Can said, "Dr. Zhao, I want you to prescribe some medicine for me."

Patients with schizophrenia can take some neurodepressant drugs, which is a very common treatment.

Dr. Zhao was stunned, as if he didn't expect the patient to make such a request all of a sudden.He thought for a while and said, "It is true that drug-assisted treatment can be used if necessary, but if possible, can you chat with me first?"

He was prepared to come, so Jing Can nodded immediately without any hesitation, but he didn't speak for a long time after answering.Maybe it's because I have never talked about these things with others, so now I want to talk about it suddenly, and I don't know where to start.

Dr. Zhao seemed to understand his embarrassment, and quickly comforted him: "It's okay, you can say whatever you want, you don't need to follow any order, you can say whatever you think of, and don't force yourself to say what you don't want to say."

"Okay." With such encouragement, Jing Can skipped the stories that were too far away, "I know, my illness seems to have never gotten better. I always thought that I could be cured through my own willpower myself, but later found out, I couldn’t control it.”

"Do you have frequent hallucinations?"

"Well, when I'm longing for something, I'm prone to hallucinations. Just like when I wanted a friend before, I imagined a person who was very good to me. He would accompany me to do questions, discuss with me, and care about me. , I was eager to succeed, so this friend started to set some goals for me. At that time, I didn’t know that he was a fake, but later I found out, I tried to drive him away, but it seemed that I couldn’t get rid of him. So I took a leave of absence for myself, At that time, I thought, as long as I don’t want anything, I shouldn’t be imagining anything, right?”

Speaking of this, Jing Can smiled.

"But it can't do it now." Jing Can said, "I have someone who can't give up no matter what, so I have to find other ways to control my illness. I am afraid that one day I will really lose my mind, and I am also afraid that one day I will lose my mind. I was out of control and I was hurting those around me."

Seeing the young man in front of him gradually lower his head, Dr. Zhao knew that probably all the courage he had prepared before coming here had been used in this seemingly short narration.He keenly grasped some information from Jing Can's words, and after considering it, he asked softly, "Have you ever hurt anyone else?"

The house is quiet, only time flows in silence.

After a long time, Jing Can nodded and shook her head again.

"I don't know if it counts... Once, many years ago, I took my brother out to play. I saw a motorcycle hit us and pushed him away. But later I found out from other people's comments, There were no motorcycles at that time. Since then, I have been more careful not to get too close to children or keep pets... So, nothing similar happened again."

According to Jing Can's narration, Dr. Zhao roughly inferred the time of Jing Can's illness.Hearing that Jing Can kept a distance from people or animals with weaker attack power than him because he was afraid of hurting others when he was so young, he couldn't help sighing in his heart.

"A while ago, I met a puppy. At that time, I felt that my whole body was getting better, so I mustered up the courage, petted it, and took care of it for a while. But then I found out... The dog is fake." Jing Can hugged the pillow even tighter, and said, "Doctor Zhao, my current situation is probably like this. Although it is difficult, I still want to get better. At least, I don't want to get worse. , so I want to ask you to prescribe some medicine."

"It is possible to take medication, but the premise is that you need to come to chat with me regularly. You can treat me as your friend and just talk to me about your recent situation, okay?"

"Okay," Jing Can promised, "I will actively cooperate with the treatment."

Dr. Zhao said with a smile: "I remember it. In addition, I still want to tell you that I will try my best to prescribe medicine with less side effects and control the dosage, but... this kind of harm cannot be completely avoided."

Jing Can nodded quietly: "I know."

After speaking, he seemed to be afraid that the doctor would not believe him, so he picked at the edge of the bottom of the glass and added: "I checked."

After chatting for a while, Jing Can took the medicine smoothly.The small paper bag was very thoughtful and didn't have any name, and it was hard to see what was in it when I held it in my hand.

After saying goodbye politely, Jing Can walked away slowly, but Dr. Zhao stood at the door, watching his back all the time.This time the diagnosis and treatment seemed to be very successful, Jing Can took the initiative to talk about his situation, and even took the initiative to accept medical treatment.But Dr. Zhao felt that Jing Can was too calm.Usually, he has also received some patients with different degrees of schizophrenia. When they talk about their illness, they are often afraid and painful.But Jing Can is different.Facing Jing Can just now, he didn't feel too much pain from Jing Can, he seemed to be just stating his illness to him, but left all emotions to himself to deal with.

This is a very powerful restraint that has been honed over the years.

On the way home, Jing Can passed the video game city again.The big signboard exudes blue lights, as if it has magical powers, making Jing Can unable to walk.

When he came here, he didn't dare to look at it, but now that he was holding the medicine in his hand, Jing Can suddenly seemed to have the confidence to follow his inner thoughts again.He stood at the door for a long time, and finally went in.This was Jing Can's first visit to the game city, and he looked around in a daze, but fortunately, the staff standing beside him noticed him, and immediately pointed him to the cashier, telling him that he could exchange coins there.

Jing Can carried a bag of game coins and went straight to the racing game.This video game city is very large, with four seats for racing cars side by side.The two on the right were occupied by two boys. Jing Can stood behind them, observed and studied for a while, and then slowly moved to the empty space on the side.

"Hey, why did you choose this track again?" A boy seemed dissatisfied with the other boy's choice, and said, "Don't want this one, it's too simple, I want the one with more hairpin turns."

"Okay," said the tall boy, who seemed not easy to get along with, but unexpectedly, he had a particularly good temper when he said it, "Then change it, do you want it to be rainy or sunny?"

The other boy said with a smile: "It's sunny."

I don't know what the two of them thought of. After saying this, they looked at each other for several seconds.

Realizing that she seemed to be eavesdropping on someone else's conversation, Jing Can scratched her head and turned her attention to the screen.

The surroundings were chaotic, the sound of loud music and noise mixed together, and even the air was heated up.But Jing Can's heart became that familiar empty state again.He stared at the bag of medicine in front of him for a while, took out his cell phone, and sent Song Yinan a message.

After inserting the coin, he followed the prompts on the screen to enter the game, followed by car selection.After searching the screen for a long time, I found an AE86.When it came time to choose a track, of course I chose Qiu Mingshan without any accident.

Jing Can originally thought that this game should be quite simple, but unexpectedly, the steering wheel is very heavy, and the sensitivity of the car when adjusting the direction is also very high. In addition, Jing Can stepped on the accelerator to the bottom, so that Jing Can lost control of the game after setting off. At the first bend, it hit the mountain next to it, and then the front of the car could not be straightened, and it hit the mountain all the way and turned this corner.

This lap ran stumblingly, except for the straight road where I could drive normally, but whenever there was a small bend, the front of the car hit the hill, sparking all the way.

After the first lap, looking at the appalling results, Jing Can's first thought was that it's a good thing he didn't come with He Pingyi, otherwise it would be embarrassing again.

But this thought accidentally brought out many miscellaneous thoughts in his mind. He suddenly thought of the sun above his head when he was driving a go-kart last time, the bowl of shaved ice that was overturned, and sitting next to him, yelling "press the brakes" at him. He Pingyi.

Jing Can held the steering wheel, looked around in a strange way, and was made to laugh again by the absurd thoughts in her heart.

"Brother, are you crashing a car?"

I don't know when there was a person standing on the side, who seemed to be a friend of the two boys next to him.Jing Can was a little embarrassed by what this person said, so he hesitated and replied, "I'm not very good at..."

"You Fang, you are all boring, why are you still bullying children?" The tall boy sitting on the side shouted with a cold face.

"How did I bully the child? I don't think he can preach and teach him!" The boy standing aside shouted at the other boy, "Brother Tang Cheng, can you take care of him, he is slandering me here all day long!"

"Don't teach me," the tall boy said coldly, "You are also very good."

"Your uncle, you are talented. Just now, I don't know who lost two games in a row to Brother Tang Cheng."

"That's because he's good. You sit here and try to see who loses."

The two big boys just started arguing in front of Jing Can, Jing Can was a little confused, he wanted to start the next round, but felt that the quarrel seemed to have something to do with him, so he felt embarrassed to go by himself. Then playing games, I had to stare and watch them quarrel.

The boy called "Brother Tang Cheng" finally couldn't help it, and interrupted with a smile: "It's easy to change, so don't say a few words."

After he finished speaking, he leaned forward again, let his eyes pass over the people around him, and fell on Jing Can: "Go ahead and play, ignore them."

Jing Can nodded gratefully at the boy who seemed the kindest, and hurried to play the game by herself.

His learning ability seems to have deteriorated suddenly today. He thought that after the lap just now, he could find some tricks, but he didn't expect that as soon as he started the second lap, he bumped around again, and the car even stopped directly. After adjusting for a long time, I still can't get the point.

His brows became tighter and tighter, and just when Jing Can was so frustrated that he was about to give up the game, a pair of hands suddenly supported his steering wheel, and with those hands turned to the right, the car on the screen turned at a small angle.Immediately afterwards, Jing Can heard a familiar voice.

The voice was yelling at him the same way it had been at the karting track that day.

However, this time he shouted: "Step on the gas pedal!"

Jing Can raised her head, stared blankly at the familiar chin, and didn't dare to speak.

Sensing his thoughts, He Pingyi leaned over and got closer to him.

"It's true, don't be afraid."

The AE86 on the screen finally ran smoothly on Qiuming Mountain. The moment he crossed the finish line, He Pingyi put his hands on Jing Can's.

Jing Can's best score appeared on the screen, he engraved the string of numbers into his mind, and then asked He Pingyi: "Why are you here?"

"asked for leave."

"Ask for leave?" Jing Can was a little anxious all of a sudden, she put one hand on He Pingyi's shoulder, "Don't, the college entrance examination is only a few days away."

The surrounding voices were loud, and Jing Can's voice was also much louder.After Jing Can yelled, she glanced around, and found that the three boys who had a brief encounter with him just now were looking at them.

The two boys who had quarreled were fine, it felt like they were just watching the fun for no apparent reason, but Jing Can clearly read from the eyes of the boy who helped him out just now, "Why did you come here to play games after the college entrance examination?" information.

That is.

Jing Can frowned and looked at He Pingyi.

"It's already here, I'll come over to see you, and I'll go back tomorrow." Seeing what Jing Can had to say, He Pingyi hurriedly said, "Okay, okay, it's too noisy, we'll talk about it later, let's play games first .”

There was still an empty seat next to it, but He Pingyi didn't sit there.He held Jing Can's hand and led him a couple more, while explaining the essentials in his ear.After finding the feeling, Jing Can made rapid progress. After another round, he forgot to argue with He Pingyi, excitedly pushed He Pingyi's waist, pointed to the empty seat next to him and shouted: " Quick! Let's compare!"

He Pingyi couldn't be more familiar with this plot, he smiled and shook his head, sat on the machine next to him, and inserted coins.

The venue and the weather were all chosen by He Ping, with famous autumn mountains and rainy days.When the two cars stopped in front of the starting line, Jing Can looked at He Pingyi with bright eyes, and stretched out a finger towards him.

——I will take the first place.

He Pingyi smiled while holding the steering wheel, and shouted at him: "Remember, step on the accelerator!"

Step on the accelerator to the bottom, run forward boldly with all your strength.

There was a rumbling sound in Jing Can's ears, as if he was not in the game city, but really in the racing track, on the uninhabited winding mountain road.The whistle blew, the black and white flags fell, and they rushed into their own battlefield.

Don't step on the brakes, try to drift through the corners.They will run the same straight line, and they will do the same beautiful tail wagging through the corners.Maybe one comes first and another comes first, maybe they go hand in hand, but no matter what, they will cross the same finish line.

What exactly is youth?

Maybe it's not that great, it might just be a hearty racing game before the college entrance examination, even if it hits a mountain and the flames are flying, as long as they want, they can swing the front of the car and move on.

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Attention!You can only drive fast and crash into mountains in racing games, please drive slowly in reality!Don't drive fast!