not brilliant

With today's temperature, it is no longer necessary to cover the quilt when staying on the rooftop.Jing Can took off her shoes and curled up on the sofa.Basking in the sun, the already swollen eyes couldn't be fully opened, so Jing Can lowered her head, hiding her eyes under the broken hair and shadows, avoiding the bright sun's rays.

The door to the roof was suddenly opened, the door panel shook twice, and was held by a hand.Song Yinan's footsteps were very light, she walked up to Jing Can and knelt down, holding gauze and iodophor in her hand.

Jing Can had a lot of injuries all over his body, and at this moment, the action of hugging his knees caused his arm to press on a bloody wound on his calf. Song Yinan frowned and stretched out his hand, gently pulling Jing Can's wrist: " Xiaocan, let me rub some medicine on you first, okay?"

The person on the sofa still hung his head, staring blankly at the edge of the sofa, and did not respond to these words.

After all, the sofa is still old, and some places are already showing a tendency to be worn out. Jing Can suddenly stretched out her index finger, and lightly poked a small piece of leather that had turned up at a corner.Fingers swayed and repeated many times, as if the old disease had finally been cut out, the raised piece of leather was pressed and turned over by the fingertips, and the white gap was exposed to the sun, becoming an abrupt part on the orange sofa. landscape.

Song Yinan didn't speak, and his eyes fell on Jing Can's fingertips.Jing Can's small quiet actions made her feel a little more uneasy. She used to think that although Jing Can didn't like to talk and express, at least she was still a qualified mother and could sense Jing Can's emotional changes.But now, she realizes that she doesn't know Jing Can as well as she thought.She couldn't guess what Jing Can was thinking at all, and she didn't know what she should do at all, so she could only stay silent with Jing Can until the soreness in her throat and nasal cavity was almost unbearable, Song Yinan held on Leaning on the sofa, he barely got up and walked out.

Quietness was restored on the rooftop, there was a person under the sun, and the New Year was calling downstairs.

After an unknown amount of time, Jing Can finally slowly raised her head and turned her head when the New Year's call became more aggrieved.

Are you hungry for New Years?

After having such an idea, for a moment, Jing Can found that the scenery in front of her eyes suddenly became distorted, the orange sofa and sunflowers changed shape, the air was no longer transparent, and everything in front of her eyes seemed to be put into a costume. In the bucket full of paint, when the stick is stirred, everything changes.

The surrounding temperature is obviously very high, but in a trance, Jing Can seems to have returned to that somewhat disturbed winter night.It was quiet and chilled to the bone.He ran out of the house after the pitiful-sounding voice, and saw a white puppy sitting there on the dark street, wagging its tail at him.It was too small, and it looked like it hadn't been born for a long time, which made Jing Can hesitate for a long time when approaching it—he never dared to get too close to these creatures that have no ability to protect themselves.But the puppy looked so cute, so Jing Can's palm slowly fell on its head.

That was the first time they met, he gave it food, talked to it about the distress that no one could tell, and gave it a nice name, called New Year.

New Year, New Year, Vientiane is renewed, everything has a new beginning.

At that time... he thought so.

The sound of cicadas chirping, Jing Can squinted his eyes and raised his head, and the lush green pierced into his eyes.What you can see is the bright sun and the seemingly endless vitality.

When He Pingyi arrived at Jing Can's house, he didn't even bother to say hello to Jing Zaixing who opened the door for him, he just nodded to him hastily, and strode up the stairs.

Turning the corner of the stairs, he saw the person sitting at the door of the roof.Seeing He Pingyi, Song Yinan hurriedly turned his head away, wiped away his tears with one hand, and stood up.

"I always hear Xiaocan mentioning you," Song Yinan's voice was still choked up, she seemed to be trying her best to hide her sadness, and even tried to bend the corners of her mouth.She handed the medicine bottle that she had held in her hand for a long time to He Pingyi, and said, "Before he came here, he fell down the stairs and got his leg pierced by a piece of porcelain, and fell down on the road, his body was full of injuries, please... Give him some medicine."

After running wildly, his throat seemed to be blocked by something.He Pingyi couldn't speak, so he just took the medicine bottle and nodded.

The medicine bottle was already a little hot, Song Yinan didn't know how long he had been sitting here.

"Also..." Song Yinan gently wiped away the tears that had already shed, "Xiao Can...maybe a little sick, please..."

"Auntie."

Song Yinan couldn't continue while talking, He Pingyi opened his mouth with red eyes, holding the medicine bottle tightly with one hand.

"I know."

Push open the door of the roof, and you can see the furry head protruding from the sofa.He Ping guessed that Jing Can should have been sitting there quietly, waiting for him since he came back.This is very in line with Jing Can's personality, she is sensible and obedient, even if she is angry or sad, she will not make noise.He Pingyi suddenly remembered that in the convenience store that day, Jing Can obviously had a reason to get angry at him, but when he went to grab him, he just froze there and did not shake himself off.He was always like this, holding everything in his heart, not saying anything to anyone, and never showing sharp thorns to anyone.

He Pingyi slowly approached Jing Can, but Jing Can didn't seem to notice him, and still buried her head deeply.

When He Pingyi was at school just now, he saw that Jing Can was injured, but the situation was so chaotic that he even forgot to ask, "Does it hurt?"He Pingyi supported the sofa and squatted down, only then could he see the shocking injuries on Jing Can's legs and arms more clearly.It's not yet midsummer, but Jing Can is only wearing a pair of shorts, and a white long-sleeved top. However, whether it's because the fabric is too thin or the ground is too rough, a big hole has been rubbed on his sleeve. Embarrassed and pitiful.

He Pingyi looked at it with his eyes, and his heart ached.

"Why did you fall?" He stretched out his hand and pulled Jing Can's arm away, exposing the most serious wound on his leg, "Apply some medicine."

Jing Can did not refuse this time, he obediently spread out his arms, allowing He Pingyi to move, and even turned his arms so that He Pingyi could apply the medicine more conveniently.He Pingyi has long known that he is not a person who is afraid of pain. Whether it was when he scratched his ankle on the rock climbing wall, or now that iodine was applied to the wound, Jing Can never frowned.

He obviously looks like he is afraid of pain, but he seems to be able to bear it better than anyone else.

There were two serious wounds on the leg that had been mixed with fine sand, He Pingyi carefully cleaned Jing Can with a cotton swab, and slowly peeled off the dirty things that had been stained with blood and flesh from the wounds.

Jing Can kept looking at the fine sand that had been crushed out. After He Pingyi finally treated the wound, Jing Can's fingers twitched a few times, causing He Pingyi to look up at him.

"It hurts?"

The eyes that had been downcast all the time finally lifted up. Under the silence, all emotions seemed to be vented through the eyes.He Pingyi often felt that Jing Can's eyes seemed to be able to speak, whether it was happiness or pain, it could be deeply imprinted into his heart.

"He Pingyi," Jing Can didn't answer He Pingyi's question, but asked him in a hoarse voice, "Have you seen the New Year?"

He Pingyi didn't speak, Jing Can stubbornly looked at him with red and swollen eyes.

"New Year's is fake... right?"

The last two words were gently thrown out, and the tears that had been nestling in the eyes finally rolled down in the soft question.Jing Can's eyes were suddenly covered with a thick pool of water, the water was so clear that it was moving, but the bottom was full of despair.He seemed to be asking He Pingyi, and also seemed to be praying—praying that He Pingyi could give him a negative answer, and praying that his New Year really existed.

He Pingyi's Adam's apple moved with difficulty, but his throat was still unable to make a sound.He couldn't bear to look at Jing Can's expression, but he didn't allow himself to move his eyes away, so he could only accompany Jing Can in pain.He put the medicine bottle aside, and then squeezed Jing Can's hand into his own.

Even though the weather is so warm, the hands in the palms are still cold.

"You're not allergic to dog hair," Jing Can said in a low voice, as if she had to take a deep breath every few words to support herself, "You already knew, so . . . you're lying, so you can't explain it."

"Is there still..." Jing Can's eyes suddenly became a little dazed, he suddenly pulled out a hand, clasped it tightly on He Pingyi's wrist, and asked eagerly, "Who else is fake?" ? Is there any more?"

He Pingyi couldn't bear it anymore, he turned his head away, and tears rolled down his face uncontrollably.Letting the tears stay like this for a while, he sucked his nose, stood up abruptly, sat next to Jing Can, and hugged him face to face.

"He Pingyi, who else is fake? The owner of the barber shop?" Jing Can shook her head after saying this, denying her answer, "No, you talked to her, so who else..."

"No more, no more..." Feeling the person in his arms trembling, He Pingyi hurriedly said, "It's all true."

Jing Can buried her face deeply into He Pingyi's shoulder, and let out a suppressed cry.

"Why is it like this every time?" Jing Can tugged at her hair with one hand, "Why is it that every time when I think I'm getting better, I find that it's just changing from one fantasy to another?" It’s a kind of fantasy, Xu Heyi is like this, and the New Year is also like this..."

"It's useless no matter how careful I am," Jing Can said, gradually losing control, "I've already tried my best not to talk to people I don't know, why is there a new year..."

He Pingyi knew that if he said he could understand Jing Can's pain, it would be nonsense.On the night when Jing Can introduced New Year to him for the first time, he was shocked and scared. He watched Jing Can squatting in front of him, touching the non-existent "New Year", and asked similar questions in his heart, Why is this happening.At that time, he didn't dare to show it, Jing Can asked him to touch the New Year, but he didn't know where the New Year was.He made up a bad lie, a lie he didn't even want to live up to.

After returning home, he faced the computer, but he didn't type the word he thought in his heart for a long time.He has read a lot of works on psychology, and he has also read this term. He should tell himself that this is just a disease and there is nothing to be afraid of.

But just because he knew about it, he knew how painful it is for people with this disease.

Schizophrenia.

He didn't want to associate this word with Jing Can, and he also wanted to ask why Jing Can had this disease and why Jing Can was in pain.

But just like when his elder brother died, he clenched his fist, but he didn’t know who to wave to—many “whys” will never have an answer, fate will only tell you shamelessly, I’ve always been like this.

He Pingyi really hated this kind of powerlessness to blame fate.He hugged Jing Can, as if he wanted to tighten him into his body so that no one could take him away.

"Xiao Can," He Ping called repeatedly, "Xiao Can, look at me."

Jing Can raised her head amid such calls, her face was covered with water.He Pingyi held his face, and kissed his eyes, forehead...

"I am real."

Four words, like the first rain in summer, Jing Can even forgot to cry when she looked at the face so close.He had a vague idea, yes, he still has He Pingyi.