not brilliant

Who are you talking to?

As if her heart had been squeezed, Jing Can immediately realized something.He turned his head abruptly and looked at the aunt.The aunt still stood beside him with a smile on her face, and even kindly urged him to find a hat quickly.

"Hurry up and look for it. There are a lot of people passing by there. If someone picks it up later, you won't be able to find it."

"elder brother……"

Jing Can turned his head following the call again, and saw Jing Wei standing beside Song Yinan, staring at him with wide eyes, and forgot to close his mouth.

"Xiao Can..."

"Go and find..."

Several voices seemed to overlap suddenly, hitting his ears incessantly, and Jing Can's head suddenly hurt badly.The scene in front of him suddenly became somewhat blurred, but the expressions on the faces of the people around him were clearly magnified in front of his eyes.He didn't dare to face those faces, didn't dare to look at Song Yinan, didn't dare to look at Jing Wei, and didn't dare to look at that kind aunt. He lowered his head to avoid it, and didn't even realize that he was crying when he opened his eyes. .

Until drops of tears hit the ground, Jing Can didn't understand what it was that was mottled and stained the cement road.He just numbly followed the desire in his heart and took two steps back, as if he could avoid the attack of the most terrifying monster in this way.

"Mom...I'm going to find a hat." In a daze, Jing Can seemed to see He Pingyi.He stood on the noisy street in front of Qingyan Temple, putting his hat on with both hands.

That was his gift.

Jing Can murmured, "That's very important."

"Xiao Can!"

Both Song Yinan and Jing Wei were still in place, Jing Can turned around and ran forward like crazy.

Song Yinan shouted loudly and hurriedly chased after him, Jing Wei also ran two steps, but was stopped by Song Yinan again: "Call your father quickly!"

Jing Can didn't know how he got to that turning point, he seemed to have lost all consciousness and memory all at once, and he couldn't control the movements of his limbs either.He could only hear his breathing getting heavier and heavier, and there was only one thought in his mind, that was He Pingyi's birthday present for him, and he must find it.

He rushed around in a panic. He didn't know how many people he bumped into and was scolded a few times. He seemed to be apologizing all the time. Regardless of whether there was anyone in front of him, he was mechanically repeating the phrase "I'm sorry".

Jing Zaixing received a call from Jing Wei, and after hearing Jing Wei's intermittent description of the incident, he ran out quickly. Under the leadership of Jing Wei, he quickly found Song Yinan, who cried and said to him: "I Can't find Xiao Can anymore."

"Don't cry," Jing Zaixing patted her on the shoulder, "We'll look for him separately, he shouldn't go far."

Seeing that Song Yinan's mood was also very unstable at this moment, he told Jing Wei: "You follow mom and watch her."

Jing Zaixing walked along the road in the community until he reached the entrance of the supermarket, but he didn't see Jing Can.He stood on the side of the road, thinking carefully about what he had missed and didn't look for, when his eyes touched a piece of green, Jing Zaixing suddenly had a feeling in his heart.

It was a small forest. When Jing Can was young, Jing Zaixing would occasionally take him there to play.Jing Zaixing ran all the way to the woods, and sure enough, he saw Jing Can sitting on a bench with his head down.

Although it is not yet clear how serious the situation is, Jing Zaixing already has a vague guess in his heart after hearing Jing Wei's description just now.He took his steps lightly, and walked in front of Jing Can. Jing Can didn't seem to notice the person coming, and didn't move.

Jing Zaixing squatted down slowly, looking at the strange face, the pain in his heart came suddenly.It's strange that he is not unfamiliar with such emotions. When the children were young, he would feel distressed when they got sick or had an injection.It's just that after the children have grown up, he seems to take it for granted that since they grow up, they should become stronger, to endure hardships, endure pain, and learn to bear it by themselves.So thinking about it now, it seems that this kind of distressed feeling has really not appeared for a long time.

"What's wrong?" Jing Zaixing put a hand on Jing Can's shoulder and asked him, "Why are you crying?"

Jing Can didn't speak at first, and then slowly, he bent over, put his arms on his legs, and buried his head deep in his palms.

"I can't find it..."

I can't find the hat.

He searched everywhere he could, but couldn't find it.

The Jing Can in Jing Zaixing's impression, although he doesn't talk much and doesn't like to socialize with people, is always decent.But at this moment, tears flowed from Jing Can's fingers like this, washing the dusty and muddy fingers, making them muddy and in a state of embarrassment.Jing Can's crying became louder and louder than when she was running and falling on the road when she was a child.

Jing Zaixing had never seen his son like this.

Jing Can was carried home by Jing Zaixing.Song Yinan helped Jing Zaixing put Jing Can on the bed, but Jing Can's eyes never opened.

"Let him rest for a while."

Jing Zaixing took Song Yinan, who was also in a bad mood, out, and when he reached the door, he turned around and glanced at the person on the bed.

Because of crying just now, Jing Can's eyelids are swollen.He wasn't asleep, the eyeballs were still moving slightly under his eyelids.This made Jing Zaixing suddenly think that when Jing Can was a child, he often had to put Jing Can to sleep before returning to the company to work overtime.When I came back in the middle of the night after being busy, I could always see Jing Can's room with a desk lamp on, and when I went in, Jing Can was lying on the bed, just like now, not asleep, but with her eyes closed.The rolling eyes exposed the child's lie of pretending to be asleep. Jing didn't expose him at the beginning of the trip, but just helped him turn off the light.When he asked why he turned on the light in the middle of the night the next morning, Jing Can scratched her head and said to him, "Get up and go to the bathroom, the room is a bit dark."

Jing Zaixing smiled, and told him that sleeping with the light on is not good for his eyes, so remember to turn off the light next time you go back to the house.

The child on the opposite side of the table didn't respond at first, and silently ate the fried eggs on the plate.When Jing Zaixing looked over again, he said in a muffled voice, "Okay, I will remember."

I don't know what's wrong, from just now to now, things from the past suddenly and frequently appeared in Jing Zaixing's head.Standing in the quiet study room, Jing Can's cry still seemed to be echoing in her ears.

Jing walked to the window and took out a pack of cigarettes.

There are children learning to skateboard on the road outside.After slipping two steps, he fell to the ground, holding his legs and teaching his brother to cheat.

Jing Zaixing suddenly thought, Jing Can cried because of the pain when she fell down when she was a child, so why did she cry just now?

Also... because of the pain?

After two cigarettes sizzled and burned, Jing Zaixing frowned fiercely.

Song Yinan went to the bathroom to wash her face, then pushed Jing Wei, who had been following her all the time, to his own room, gave Jing some instructions, and then went to find Jing Zaixing.Pushing open the door of the study, the smell of smoke made her cough immediately, and with this cough, the tears she had just held back could no longer be held back.

Hearing the sound, Jing Zaixing hurriedly put the cigarette in the ashtray: "Get out."

The two of them sat on the sofa for a long time, only the sound of Song Yinan's suppressed weeping was heard in the living room.

"Xiao Wei said, Xiao Can has been talking to the air..." Jing Zai shook hands that were about to be intertwined, and looked at Song Yinan, "Is that so?"

Song Yinan nodded: "His hat is missing, he said he was looking for a hat, but I saw him, he seems to be..."

Song Yinan wanted to state the incident as calmly as possible, but at the end, thinking of the scene at that time, she couldn't help but raised her hand to wipe her tears.

Song Yinan knew that Jing Can didn't like to communicate with the outside world, and was also worried that he was under too much psychological pressure, but it wasn't until then that she realized that Jing Can was really sick.Sitting in the living room for a while, she has been thinking, if only she found out earlier, if Jing Can told them that he always had headaches, insomnia, and wanted to drop out of school, how much she could persevere and take Jing Can to see Just see a doctor...

Fear, heartache, self-blame, Song Yinan didn't know which kind of emotion was dominant, they mixed together, making Song Yinan almost breathless.

Jing Zaixing was also silent for a long time, and finally, he nodded and put a hand on Song Yinan's shoulder: "I'll go and consult a friend who does psychological work."

Song Yinan cried and grabbed Jing Zaixing's arm: "Will it be serious?"

Jing Zaixing shook his head.It is rare for him to fail to answer a question, but this time, he doesn't know either.

In the room, Jing Can really fell asleep, or in other words, passed out after expending too much energy.The moment the secret was discovered, it seemed that the strings that had been stretched for so many years suddenly broke, and the emotions first collapsed, and after being shattered all over the ground, what remained in the body was the sense of relief of self-defeating.

Don't worry about being discovered, and don't have to pretend to be a normal person anymore.

A ray of light penetrated through the gap in the curtain, which just happened to shine on one of Jing Can's eyes.The sleeping person frowned and had that familiar dream again.With injuries all over his body, he was surrounded by a group of people at the end of the alley. They kept pushing and shoving him. When he pushed one away, another blocked him.The glasses were hit to the ground, and someone stepped on the soles of his feet. Immediately afterwards, fists fell on his stomach and waist.Jing Can desperately resisted, but those people seemed to be happier because of his resistance.

In the dream, he was almost exhausted. He leaned against the wall, watching the gloomy shadows approaching him on the ground, not knowing how to get himself out of the predicament.At this moment, a shadow on the ground was suddenly knocked sideways by a round object. Jing Can looked up and saw a basketball fly out.

A person walked over from the other end of the alley, with a long shadow, swaying lazily.It's different from those people.

It was already midnight when she woke up, and there were two missed calls from He Pingyi on Jing Can's phone, as well as many messages.

"How not to answer the phone?"

"What about people?"

"what happened?"

"Where's my boyfriend?"

……

"When are you coming back?"

"miss you."

"I wanted to wait for you to come back to give you a surprise, forget it, let's show you in advance."

"If you're sleeping, message me back when you wake up."

This sentence was followed by a picture, Jing Can looked at the little picture in a daze for a long time, and after clicking on it, thousands of feelings flooded into his heart.

The dog house that He Pingyi made was completely in line with his expectations, and Jing Can zoomed in and zoomed out on the picture for a while before replying a message.

After replying to the message, he clutched his phone and walked to the window.

Looking up, there was a bright white moon in the sky, which was somewhat similar to that night.

The next day, Jing Zaixing went out after breakfast and didn't come back until before lunch.Jing Can didn't go downstairs to eat, Song Yinan and the others ate a little, and Jing went into the study again, and told Song Yinan not to come in yet.

When Jing Zaixing came out of the study again, he still smelled heavily of cigarettes.

"What's the matter? Didn't you go to Xiaocan's previous school? Did you ask about anything else?"

Jing Zaixing nodded, pulled Song Yinan to sit on the sofa, and then asked: "Since Xiaocan went to Huihe, did you mention any good friends?"

Song Yinan listened, and nodded a little dullly: "He mentioned one, it's called He Pingyi."

"En." Jing Zaixing also nodded, the expression on his face was still very calm, if it wasn't for the red bloodshot eyes, Song Yinan would easily have the illusion that nothing happened.

Song Yinan waited for Jing Zaixing to speak, but Jing Zaixing was abnormal and paused for a long time.He is hesitating and struggling.

"say something?"

The longer he was silent, the more disturbed Song Yinan became.

"Call the teacher you knew in high school, and check to see if there is such a person."

As if he didn't understand, Song Yinan looked up at Jing Zaixing's face and froze in place.

She didn't move for a long time, Jing got up when he was walking, took her mobile phone from the side, and handed it to her.

"What do you mean?" Song Yinan bit her lip hard, clasped her hands together, and refused to answer the call.She seemed to be resisting something she didn't want to get, and she was afraid that all resistance would be futile.

"I went to his university in the morning. I wanted to ask his former teacher to learn about his situation at school. But I found out..."

When Jing Zaixing said this, he seemed unable to continue.Song Yinan saw that even Jing Zaixing's eye sockets had turned red, she suppressed the fear in her heart and asked, "What did you find?"

"He used to mention a good friend in college called Xu Hewei. Xiao Can said that they often discussed topics together and took self-study together. Later, Xiao Can went abroad to study. He also told us that his friend also Go to that school with him. Do you remember?"

Song Yinan nodded.Jing Can doesn't have many friends, and the ones she can mention to them at home are even rarer.Some time ago, he did mention this person named Xu Hewei frequently, saying that Xu Hewei helped him a lot in the new environment.

"I accidentally mentioned this name today, and I wanted Xiaocan's teacher to help me find his contact information. But I confirmed it from his teacher..." Jing Zaixing said, "There is no such person in the school."

Song Yinan only felt that something exploded in his head, and with a "boom", countless silver fragments were brought out.The fragments are all Jing Can's face, which is Jing Can's appearance from childhood to adulthood in her memory.

Jing Zaixing leaned over, took Song Yinan's cold hand, and put the phone in her palm.

"So, Yi Nan, let's make a phone call to confirm. We... always need to find out how sick he is."

After Jing Zaixing finished speaking, he retreated to the bedside. He heard Song Yinan's crying, but he didn't go over to comfort her.

How can I comfort you?He really can't think of it now.

"Aunt Yan, I am Yi Nan."

After the sobs gradually weakened, Jing Zaixing finally heard Song Yinan's restrained but still trembling voice.

"Sorry to bother you again, I would like to ask you to check something for me... Excuse me, in the third grade, is there a classmate named 'He Pingyi'?"

Jing Zaixing listened to Song Yinan's voice, but kept looking out the window.When Song Yinan hung up the phone, he turned around and saw that her hand holding the phone was shaking.

Jing walked over and broke away Song Yinan's hand that was too hard.Song Yinan looked up at him, his chapped lips were pursed until they turned white.

"She said..." As soon as she opened her mouth, big tears rolled down her face, "I didn't find it on the list."