[Wenye Otome] Do not fish for mackerel

Hurt look, miss.Come to think of it, isn't the name apt? "

"Don't talk about it, mathematics is my lifelong enemy, this is a matter of principle. You should think about it, what if your ability is called "Central Plains Chuya" and you have to call it every time you activate it? From the place! "

He immediately had an expression of swallowing a fly: "...Okay, needless to say, I understand."

No, why did the atmosphere between you and Osamu Dazai switch from the heavy atmosphere of interrogation to the chattering mode of good buddies so quickly? There must be something wrong, right?

Osamu Dazai is really a strange man.

16

"Speaking of which, is it okay for you to waste so long here?"

"It's okay! I'm doing this to lure newcomers into the club, so I can't be considered lazy!"

You just come back to it.

To be reasonable, you know how brave you are, but if you point a gun at you, everything else can be recruited except browser history and hard disk contents.

He obviously has a quicker and more convenient method of torture to choose from, but he still wants to walk around slowly and circles like before, asking questions one by one, and then deduces the answer from your reaction.

It's so roundabout, dare you think he's just trying to catch fish?

17

"You want me to join the club? But with Ranpo and you around, my abilities won't be of much use. Or do you need me to give you a spoiler?"

"Spoilers are avoided. The status quo is not challenging enough," Osamu Dazai put his hands behind his head and walked into the city with you, and replied confidently, "There is no need to lower the difficulty for me. Let you Joining the company, of course, is to share my workload."

Good guy, listen, is this still a human language?

You look at him like a dead fish.

"I can get asylum, solve the household registration problem, and get a good salary. I no longer have to take the risk of being questioned and go to a casino I am not familiar with to make money. For you, miss, it is no longer Is it better?"

He opens his bandaged arms to you: "Come, join me as a partner of justice!"

You cover your face: "The righteous partner Osamu Dazai, I really believe in your evil..."

18

In this way, you were lured into an armed detective agency.

Losing a horse is a once-in-a-lifetime experience.

When you didn’t meet Osamu Dazai, you had a strong and irrational fear of being picked out by anyone as a time traveler or a person with supernatural powers;

But ever since Osamu Dazai guessed the truth, you started letting yourself go in front of him.

When you passed the test and officially reported in the detective agency, you were able to let Edogawa Luanbu look at you, and generously handed him snacks and bribes.

...But the degree of harm between the cute detective and the evil black mud spirit really can't be compared.

19

"For the sake of the fact that the snacks you gave this detective are very tasty, let me give you some advice," the green-eyed detective unpacked the potato chips and said casually, "If you don't plan to get out of the order, it's best to eat in a different place." Stay away from Dazai during the liquidation period."

You didn't understand what he meant, and stared at him blankly.

What is the relationship between taking off the order and Osamu Dazai? Does the black mud spirit still work part-time?

Edogawa Ranpo didn't go into details, but just looked at you with pity (?) eyes: "Your abilities seem to always regard the results related to him as the worst solution."

How should I put it, this feeling.

You feel like a character doomed to tragedy in an ancient domestic stand-alone turn-based RPG, stopped by a fortune teller on the side of the road, and forced to listen to a series that sounded meaningless at the time, but when you look back afterwards, it turns out that the words There is a mystery in each word, and every word shows the mysterious prophecy of your tragic ending...

20

You didn't know until a long time later that Ranpo missed a word at that time:

"After all, for ordinary women, an incident that would lead to being infatuated with a difficult person like Dazai is indeed a catastrophe."

21

The comfortable old-age life you expected was completely shattered by the arrival of Osamu Dazai, which could not have been worse for you at that time; but it is not always a bad thing to meet Dazai again after that.After getting used to working with the Armed Detective Agency, you may even occasionally feel...

At that time, he happened to be able to catch him, so it might be the best solution.

Among other things, when he was extremely bored, he casually mentioned you who was fishing and playing game card levels next to him. You looked so handsome that you wanted to send him a pennant to hang on the wall.

After this bold and nonsense idea was learned by Osamu Dazai, he cried, made trouble and hanged himself (literally), insisting that you take action and really send him a pennant.You were so annoyed that you had no choice but to send it away.

In order to accommodate him, he even specially ordered it on Taobao and mailed it to Japan with extra money.But I feel sorry for you.

22

On the day the courier was delivered, Osamu Dazai was as happy as if he had eaten a poisonous mushroom.

I don’t know if it’s because Japan doesn’t give people pennant culture, but he showed full enthusiasm and interest in it, with a smile on his face, and his voice was so sweet that honey dripped out, pestering you and asking: “What is written in Chinese on it? ?”

With your poor Japanese level, you stuttered to translate: "To Mr. Osamu Dazai, an enthusiastic employee of the Armed Detective Agency: Careful, caring, smiling and warm, happy and relieved to do things comfortably."

I'm still a little sorry to say:

"That is to say, there is no horizontal banner on the pennant, otherwise I would add the phrase 'beautiful people and kind hearts'."

Osamu Dazai laughed so hard that he almost fainted.

23

That day, the entire detective agency was full of sleepwalking, and no one was able to function normally. From time to time, they glanced at the magical pennant with a dazed expression.

Among them, Yosano Akiko was very worried, and from morning to afternoon, he tried sideways and tried you countless times with words. Seeing that you didn't respond, he said quickly when Osamu Dazai left the work station: "We are all female compatriots, and we can do whatever we want. Talk to me. If you are being watched all the time, and you can’t find a time to ask for help, you can write the message you want to leave on the wall of the women’s room—”

"I gave him the pennant voluntarily. It's really not what you think." You laughed.

Her face sank, and she said solemnly to Kunikida Doppo next to her, "It's difficult, I'm afraid it's brainwashing."

24

Closer to home.

Ranpo warned you: "If you don't plan to get out of the order, it's best to stay away from Dazai during the power liquidation period. Your power seems to always regard the results related to him as the worst solution."

You understand the second sentence, but you really don't understand the first sentence.

After thinking about it for a long time, you still don't quite understand the logic of this sentence.If you run into Osamu Dazai every time the ability is activated, and you are often seen standing with a handsome guy, the chances of being approached and confessing your love will be greatly reduced, and it will make it more difficult to get out of the order, right?Or, if you get in touch with the black mud spirit often, he will take the initiative to introduce you to a boyfriend if he thinks you are annoying?

25

But Ranpo Edogawa is, after all, a famous detective with a ceiling of IQ. His housekeeping skill "super reasoning" is not superior to supernatural powers, and his thinking must not be understood by people like you who struggle with high-level math problems.Since he said so, it is probably the truth.

Considering that the ability "Probability Theory and Mathematical Statistics" is about to become a monster, you took a special day off and rushed to the board game store happily.

You are very confident.

Going shopping may bump into love monsters, fishing may catch mackerel,

But shouting "My turn, draw a card!" at the board game store, you can't draw him out!

26

There is no Osamu Dazai in the board game shop, only carnival players.

It’s been a long time since time travel since you’ve played cards so happily. You walk out of the shop satisfied, thinking that the ability hasn’t taken effect anyway, why not ask for another day off tomorrow...

Then on the way home, the ability suddenly activated.

You're scrolling through Twitter and before you figure out what's going on, you're knocked to the ground on the spot.

"Who is so unqualified to litter?" You screamed, subconsciously using your native language, cursing and turning your head, "Even if you can't hit the children, you can hit the flowers—"

You meet a pair of iris eyes.

a tree.A broken branch.Osamu Dazai with hemp rope hanging around his neck.

In this situation, there is nothing to understand.

Taking advantage of his incomprehension of Chinese, you bravely changed the unfinished words from three to four tones:

"Grass."

27

Osamu Dazai didn't speak, and slowly got off your back.

Although he is slender enough for a 1.8-meter adult male, he is not light after all, and it is really overwhelming for him to fall from the sky.

Meeting your eyes, very rare, he looks a little guilty: "Is it hurt?"

You felt it for a while, and said hesitantly: "...It hurts, and it will probably be bruised. I don't know if the bone is broken or not. I haven't broken a bone, so I can't tell the difference."

Osamu Dazai's face suddenly turned ugly.

28

His conscience flares up once in a thousand years, and you are quite flattered to think that the cause of this strange scene is actually you.

You don't want to blame him at all.

Just as fishing may catch edible small fish, various domestic waste, and inedible black mud mackerel.When people pass by the shade of trees, nothing may happen, or caterpillars may smear their faces, so naturally...or they may be hit by Osamu Dazai who hanged from the tree.

If you say a thousand words and ten thousand things, it's all the fault of your evil ability, and it's not his fault.

29

Osamu Dazai's suggestion is to take you to a nearby hospital, but you insist on going back to the detective agency for pain therapy.It was probably caused by guilt. When you said you wanted to go back, he obediently carried you back without saying a word.

Yosano Akiko is still very gentle to you.Although it is pain therapy, it is not unbearable.

After asking about the situation, she touched your pocket to confirm that there is no bug, and then persuaded her earnestly: "Actually, he is right, it is better to go to the hospital; there is no need to pity him