beautiful him

They always spend their evenings doing what they like.

Qingju will read scripts, exercise, or watch movies or TV for the purpose of observation, which is also Qingju's interest.Hirao uses his camera to take pictures of Kiyoi who is doing what he wants to do, uses his computer to organize the photos he takes, or maintains his camera.Because neither of them is the talkative type, the room was very quiet.

Qingju, who had been concentrating on reading the script for a long time, gradually began to feel dazed.Realize that looking any further will not be productive.Kiyoi closed the script without hesitation, and slowly moved to Hirara who was sitting on the other side of the sofa reading a photography magazine.

"knee."

Hearing that, Hirara placed the magazine on the table and made a good pose.Kiyoi lay face up on Hirara's lap.Looking up, Pingliang looked happy, scared, troubled, and at a loss.This guy always does.Even though the two of them had officially started cohabitation in the new apartment, Hirao couldn't get used to the current situation.Even though the distance between the two is so close, Pingliang has been hiding in a dark corner secretly watching Qingju in his heart.

——It is comfortable to be admired by others.

—but it’s also heart-wrenching.

"Qingju, it's almost time for me to go to work."

"Ah, today is Tuesday."

Kiyoju who was enjoying the knee pillow had to sit up.

It has been a week since they officially started living together, and Hirashi, who was still a student, started working a part-time night shift in order to earn living expenses.The reason is very legitimate: the living expenses of living with a lover cannot be borne by parents.On the other hand, Qingju has already started to make money as an artist, so naturally there is no problem in this regard.

Although Qingju was worried at the beginning, would Hirara, who was not good at communicating with people, really be able to go out to work?But to Qingju's surprise, Hirao soon found a job that was very suitable for him: an assembly line worker in a factory.Pingliang, who usually looks dull, is always very courageous when encountering matters related to Qingju.

"I'm leaving."

Anyway, Qing Ju followed him to the entrance to see him off.Lovers who have just started living together will exchange temporary parting kisses at such times, but Hirara will not.Because he thought it was too scary.Qing Ju also doesn't like this kind of whiny behavior.But Qingju hopes that the other party will take the initiative to kiss him. Love is so incredible. Being asked for a kiss by the other party and then rejected by himself is Qingju's ideal process-but Qingju's wayward thoughts can only end in dissatisfaction.

After sending Hirashi away, the living room suddenly became deserted.

Three days a week, night shift from [-]:[-] pm to [-]:[-] am the next day.At the same time, I have to take care of my studies. It must be very hard.Hirashi himself didn't seem to find it hard, and was even quite happy when he went out.He seemed to like his current job—the job of arranging chestnuts on Mont Blanc cakes that came down the assembly line.Kiyoi, who didn't quite understand, once asked Hirara why he liked this job so much, but he started talking nonsense about Captain Rubber Duck, Golden River, and the like.

"Disgusting guy."

Qingju threw himself on the sofa, looking up at the ceiling.Three nights a week, Qingju felt lonely at home alone, and he always felt uncomfortable looking at Hirara who didn't know what he was so happy about.

——I always feel a little lonely.

In order to fight against the silence that was constantly eroding the eardrums, Kiyoju turned on the TV.Lively laughter immediately filled the living room.

This is how I spent my nights alone when I was young.Just as Qing Ju was absent-mindedly watching TV, his cell phone rang suddenly.It's from home.Although Qingju felt troublesome, he still answered the phone.

"Zou? It's mom."

Qingju hadn't heard his mother's voice for a long time.

"How about the new house?"

"It's good. It's very convenient to travel, and the house is big enough."

"How are you getting along with your friends? Is there anything you're not used to?"

"Get along very well, and there is nothing unaccustomed to it."

"Your personality is like this, even if you have any troubles, you won't say anything."

A faint sigh came from the phone.

"Zao will become like this, in fact, it's my mother's fault."

Seeing that the topic was about to turn to a direction that he was not good at coping with, Qingju immediately interrupted his mother.

"Is there something on the phone? I'm reading a book."

Qingju said in a cold tone.Wen Yan's mother said with a smile.

"Traveling during the summer vacation. Everyone discussed going to Hawaii. Shall we go together?"

"Hawaii? It's amazing. Is this the power of the minister?"

This spring, Kiyoi's stepfather was promoted to minister.Qingju who is still a college student, a younger brother who is in middle school, and a younger sister who is still a primary school student are indeed things worth celebrating for the stepfather who needs to support three children.

"It's good. But I can't go. There are still many work arrangements. Don't pay attention to me, you go and have fun."

"Why don't you care about it? We are all a family."

After saying this sentence with a little seriousness, the mother said softly again.

"But it's true. For Kanade, work is the most important thing now. We will bring you special products."

So much for the topic of travel, and then my mother babbled on some commonplaces, eat more vegetables, go out less at night and so on.After hanging up the phone, Qingju lay down on the sofa again.

—is it messed up.

When chatting with my mother, I occasionally fall into the dilemma of not knowing what to say.

The last time Qingju participated in a family trip was during the winter vacation of the sophomore year of high school.When I was in the third year of high school, I didn't participate because of the entrance examination and the work of a model.Probably won't participate in the future.It's not like Qingju doesn't want to go—.

***

During her sophomore year in high school, Qingju participated in a boyscontest.Although he failed to win the award in the end, he was favored by his current firm.Although he joined the agency, Kiyoi was just a high school student and only accepted a little modeling work. When he graduated from high school, the president of the agency suggested that Kiyoi should seriously consider becoming an artist.

"Boys are going to be models...how about going to college?"

In the summer vacation of the third year of high school, we talked about future plans during dinner.The stepfather's face was slightly gloomy.

"I will go to college. And in the future, I will not only plan to be a model, but also plan to try acting."

"Actor? What are you talking about? Will being an actor support me in the future?"

"How will you know if you don't try it. Everyone in college will do part-time jobs and the like, and that's what my part-time jobs are."

"If you want to do it as a part-time job, I don't agree with it even more. Artists not only have to show their face, but also tend to give people the impression of being frivolous. It will have a bad influence when looking for a job in the future."

"Hey, Kanade is still in school, wouldn't it be good to try more things?"

Mother reconcile from it.

"Haven't we already met the president and agent of their firm? It seems quite reliable. The firm also looks very good, and there are many employees, besides, Annai is in their firm."

"Annie?"

"A very famous actress. She is the first Japanese to win the Best Leading Actress at the Berlin Film Festival."

"Really, it seems that the firm is really good."

Stepfather doesn't know much about stars and such.However, his mother's simple and easy-to-understand explanation softened his attitude.Although Qing Ju has made up his mind, even if he is opposed, he still intends to do what he wants.

"You don't have to worry so much. I haven't decided to take this path in the future. In short, go to Tokyo to live alone, and work while going to university. Use the four years of university to think carefully."

"Things are not as simple as you said."

"How do you know if you don't try it first?"

"There are too many temptations in the entertainment industry."

"I'll pay attention."

"But..." The stepfather seemed to want to say something, so Qingju had to resort to the last resort.

"So far, have I caused you any trouble because of my willfulness?"

Hearing this, the stepfather's expression changed.

"……No."

The stepfather nodded and quietly agreed to Qingju's proposal.The mother on the side also lowered her gaze.In order to achieve his goal, Qingju plays on the guilt of his parents.

"Hey, brother, Saei also wants to go to Tokyo. Next time, take me with you."

"No. In the way."

Qingju refused politely, causing his sister to pout in dissatisfaction.

"Then I want to take a picture of my brother eating. My friend's sister is a fan of my brother."

"No. I'm going to be angry if you dare to send my photo to others casually."

"What's the point of taking a picture!"

"Saying, stop. Didn't you see that brother was unwilling!"

The mother confiscated the mobile phone from the younger sister.

"But my brother is very popular in our elementary school. He is Saei's proud brother."

"Because of this, I want my brother to live a leisurely life when we are at home."

"But……"

The younger sister pouted a little unhappy.After Qingju participated in the boyscontest last year, for a while there were many girls with mobile phones wandering around Qingju's house.At one time, the whole family couldn't bear it.

"I am back!"

There was a voice from the porch.The younger brother, wearing a football club jacket, walked into the living room.During the summer vacation, my younger brother will also go to participate in club activities every day.The mother stood up to meet him, but the younger sister disliked his sweaty smell and showed displeasure.

"I'm going to take a shower first. What's for dinner?"

"Grilled sardines."

"Hey - fish."

"And meat tofu."

"Isn't that just tofu?"

The younger brother went to the bathroom unhappily.

"Taixu feels like he has grown taller again."

The stepfather squinted his eyes and looked at his younger brother's back, "He is growing up." The mother smiled and took out eggs and pork from the refrigerator.Ready to add meal to my brother.

"Mom, Saying also wants to eat cake—"

"That's okay. Have a good dinner."

"You cooked meat for brother to eat."

"Cake is not the same as meat!"

"Aren't they all the things I like to eat! It's not fair to cook only for my brother! It's not fair!"

The stepfather looked at the coquettish younger sister with a loving expression.

Such an ordinary family drama.

Among them, only Qingju is subtly blended into the picture.

Among the three siblings, only Qingju looks like neither of his parents.

Qingju looks like his own father, and he is completely different from his current family in terms of appearance and figure.

Stepfather and mother, sister and brother.Even if the relationship is not bad, the relationship is not severed.

It's just that there is always a sense of alienation that cannot be erased from before.

For example, Qingju never complained that the dishes for dinner were not to his taste.

When I was living with my mother, my mother was often away from home because of work, and Kiyoju ate dinner alone after heating it in a microwave.Waking up in the middle of the night to feed the tired mother who came back from the night shift was a habit of Qingju.It's not because Qingju wants to be a good boy, he just wants to talk to his mother more.

When Qingju was in elementary school, his mother remarried.Life has become completely different from the past. Every day when I return home, my mother is waiting for me at home, as if in a dream.But it didn't take long for the younger siblings to be born, and the mother's love was also transferred to the younger siblings.Although the stepfather is a nice person, everyone must prefer children who are related to him by blood. This is also human nature.

Qingju also tried hard to win the attention of her parents.Work hard to get good grades and take the initiative to help with housework.But he couldn't compare to a newborn baby.The constant crying made his mother embarrassed. Although Qingju felt very angry, it didn't take long for him to give up completely.

Because Qingju clearly realized how difficult it is to change others.

At the same time, he also knew that even if he hugged his knees and made a fuss, no one would come to help him.

Therefore, Qingju will no longer say some meaningless complaints and dissatisfaction.If there is any dissatisfaction, try to improve it yourself.Do your best, and if it still doesn't work, just give up.Black and white values.Guys who just wait to sit back and enjoy themselves, guys who have no ego, and guys who just suffer silently even if they are trampled on, are all a bunch of idiots in Kiyoi's eyes.

I don't know when, Qingju began to be said to have a prickly personality.

**

"Senior Qingju—!"

After school, Qingju was walking slowly through the corridor, and screams came from the opposite school building.Across the atrium, a group of girls from the opposite school building could be seen waving in this direction.

"That's amazing. That must be a first-year Kiyoi fan club member."

"Wow, Namikawa from the gymnastics department is also there. No way. I still want to chase her."

"Qingju, why don't you wave to the girls too."

"trouble."

Qingju's straightforward refusal made the third grade girls around laugh.

"The first graders are really pitiful. They don't even know that they are wasting their efforts in vain."

"Qingju is very easy to attack."

"But this year's first grade is too crazy. How dare you call at the third grade's school building."

Whether it's the boys who are excited or the girls who are whispering, in Kiyoi's opinion, they are all boring.

In the second grade, Qingju once had conflicts with a group of people who often played together.Out of some idle jealousy, those guys spread a lot of disparaging words about Qingju on the Internet.Seeing Qingju being dragged off the altar, the guys who had been worshiping him in the past immediately changed their attitudes, and the girls chasing after Qingju's ass also receded like a tide.Qingju just watched indifferently.

That's what popularity is all about.

Although invisible to the naked eye, there is indeed a magnetic field that can attract others to you.

Powerful yet fragile, it will go out like a candle if there is any trouble.

The magnetic field of Qingju disappeared at that time, but after entering the third grade, the interpersonal relationship also changed accordingly. In the new class, Qingju naturally integrated into the group at the top of the class again.During the summer vacation, he became more popular than ever after appearing in fashion magazines as a model.The current Qingju's popularity in the school has skyrocketed.

——Anyway, as long as something happens, these guys will become fools again.

Praise when gaining power, scatter when losing power, and swarming again when gaining power again, looking at this group of people, Qing Ju once again realized that the so-called popularity is what it is.And the entertainment circle that I want to enter next has similar dramas staged countless times every day, which is even more cruel and ruthless.If you think about it, it was a good experience.

Completely ignoring the constant shouts of the first-year girls, Kiyoi continued walking, when suddenly he noticed a man walking across from him.Even though it was the same school uniform, for some reason it looked gloomy on him.The whole body exudes a negative aura that is completely opposite to that of Qingju.Always bowed his head and carried his back.In short, Qingju can always recognize Pingliang's figure in the crowd at a glance.

In the lively and noisy corridor after school, Hirara walked alone.

The distance between the two gradually shortened.

Be careful not to touch each other's eyes.

However, Qingju knew it.Ping Liang was staring at himself.

From between the long bangs, he watched Qing Ju's every move and every move.

That eager gaze was completely different from the group of guys who followed suit.

Only Pingliang, no matter when it has never changed.Not only that, Hirao, who was always bullied and trampled for no reason, even beat Shirota's gang in order to maintain Qingju.Like a wild beast, Hirata punched Shirota until his face was covered in blood. At that moment, Hirara became the king of this class full of cowardly lambs.

Hirara isn't just a nasty annoying guy.

He loves "Qingju Kanade" almost terribly, and is a disgusting and annoying guy on the level of a criminal.

Ping Liang's brain is so abnormal, and it is this abnormality that distinguishes Ping Liang from others.

In the music classroom after school, Kiyoi knew for the first time that Hirao would take pictures.When he raised the camera, Hirara's speech became much smoother.In the music classroom dyed red by the setting sun, with the sound of the shutter of the SLR camera, Hirao called him "Qiju" for the first time.It was Qingju who made him shout that.

——Clean house.

--you are pretty.

The last time we met was in May, and although there were several chances after that, Kiyoi was always surrounded by friends and couldn't give Hirara a signal. "Now, in, alone, alone, see, one, face, bar.".The so-called signal is just a simple look or a slight nod of the head, and most people probably can't catch it at all.

But Pingliang will never miss it.

Because he was always looking at himself from behind his long bangs.

As the distance between the two got closer, just when Qingju was about to send a signal to Pingliang,

"Senior Qingju!"

Suddenly, an exceptionally loud cry disrupted Qingju's rhythm and missed the timing of signaling.

Qingju and Heliang passed by each other.Pingliang kept walking away.Qingju couldn't help but be speechless.

Qingju does not have to talk to Pingliang.

But, just because that guy Hirara would never take the initiative to approach——.

That's why, always, I have no choice but to send the message by myself——.

Depressed, Kiyoi thought of Hirara's appearance when he passed by just now.

Ping Liang lowered his head and touched the corner of his mouth with his hand.

With such an ordinary action, Qingju felt a little anxious.

During the few times that Heira met alone, Kiyoi once allowed Hirara to kiss his hand.Qing Ju has never been in love, and has never dated anyone, and naturally no one has ever touched Qing Ju's body with a sexual connotation.If just the kiss on the back of the hand counts, Hirara was the first man to touch him.

Looking up at himself obsessively with eager eyes, he knelt down on one knee, kissed the back of his hand, and murmured some inexplicable words like 'want to become a monk'.What a disgusting guy.

——Sure enough, Qingju is the most special thing to me.

——Qingju is special.Unlike everyone else.

nausea.annoying.No matter how many times Kiyoi uttered such words, Hirao always looked happy.Although he didn't understand what kind of spiritual structure Hirao had, Kiyoi strongly felt that Hirao worshiped himself as a god.

When he reached the corner, Kiyoi casually glanced back, seeing that there was no trace of Hirara, Kiyoi unconsciously rubbed his lips with the back of his hand.Hirara's lips had touched this place before.

So?

What are you doing?

Qing Ju, who didn't understand himself, immediately put down his hands.