drunk oxygen

The author has something to say: it's almost over, the last small problem needs to be solved, the stone will not lose its stars

Pei Yan hugged Xie Xinghe all the way back to the bedroom, stuffed him under the quilt, he shook his arms, and after calming down, he knew why Xie Xinghe probably fainted.

I had a headache in the first place, but today my mood fluctuated too much, and just now I was out of breath standing in the cold wind and crying, everyone would be dizzy.

Pei Yan's heart, which was beating violently from his fright just now, slowly calmed down, and sat down on the side of the bed with a heavy heart, looking down at Xie Xinghe.

The light from the street lamps outside was too weak, and now Pei Yan could clearly see that Xie Xinghe's face was extremely pale, and his lips were bitten through at some point, and blood was still slightly oozing.

His heart was numb, and it seemed that he couldn't feel the pain when the pain reached a certain level.

He stretched out his hand to gently touch Xie Xinghe's face, it was icy cold, Pei Yan shivered and withdrew his hand, stood up and went to the bathroom to get a hot towel for Xie Xinghe to wipe his face.

After taking care of Xie Xinghe for half a year, Pei Yan is no longer the young master who was at a loss for Xie Xing and his stomachache when they first started dating.

He skillfully wiped away the tear stains on Xie Xinghe's face, applied it to his eyes, and put it on his cheek to warm him up.

Seeing that Xie Xinghe's face turned a little bloody, Pei Yan gently lifted a corner of the quilt again, trying to wipe his hands.

It's just that when he saw Xie Xinghe's hand, he froze. There was blood on the back of his hand, which belonged to him, but there were still many small wounds, all fresh, like Xie Xinghe had dug out by himself.

He carefully avoided the wound and wiped off the blood, and then turned his hand over. There was still a wound in his palm. Xie Xinghe scratched his palm abruptly, and the wound was bloody.

He stood there with his head down, his already numb heart was throbbing and throbbing, it turned out that the pain could be even more painful after reaching the limit.

Pei Yan's eyes were hot, and his vision gradually blurred. He stood up abruptly, walked out of the room and closed the door, and slid on the ground with his back against the door panel.

Tears flowed silently, Pei Yan didn't care, but pinched the palm of his left hand with his right hand, exerted force, force, until both arms trembled slightly, then he slowly let go and looked over with hazy eyes.

Not broken, just a little red.

Pei Yan lowered his head, buried his head between his arms, and let the tears fall down in big drops. His heart hurt so badly that he had difficulty breathing, so he could only pant with his mouth wide open.

Xie Xinghe, do you want me to make up for all the tears I haven't shed and the pain I haven't experienced before.

How can you be so cruel to yourself...

Pei Yan clenched his teeth tightly to prevent himself from crying, only his body trembled slightly.

Is there anything you can't do, you even dare to break up with me, don't you feel the pain at all...

Tomato Sauce circled Pei Yan anxiously, nuzzled his arm, Pei Yan looked up at it, and said in a hoarse voice: "Does it mean that he doesn't like me at all, he only likes you, and he wants to help you find a Frisbee ..."

Ketchup couldn't understand what he was saying, and with his front paws on his knees, he stood up and wanted to lick his face.

Pei Yan didn't hide. For the first time, he let ketchup lick his face, asked himself and answered: "He really doesn't like me, he loves me, he loves me so much that he is willing to let me go..."

Pei Yan couldn't continue, the tears that had just stopped began to flow again, he hugged the tomato sauce and pressed his eyes on it.

I'm sorry, I was so selfish, I should have taken you to the doctor earlier...

sorry stars...

Tomato sauce felt the sadness of the master, and he didn't even stick out his tongue, and let him hold him motionless.

After a while, it saw that Pei Yan was still crying, so he rubbed his head against Pei Yan's face to stop crying.

·

Xie Xinghe woke up in the middle of the night with a fever.

Pei Yan was sitting on the edge of the bed with a haggard face, when he saw that he woke up, he quickly pressed his hand and said, "Don't move, the infusion is..."

When he opened his mouth, he was startled, his voice was so hoarse that it seemed he had eaten ten catties of sand.

He cleared his throat vigorously, but it was still not much better, "You have a fever, Xing Xing, do you want to drink water? Or is it uncomfortable?"

Xie Xinghe shook his head slightly, his chapped lips stuck together, he opened his mouth forcefully, and asked weakly, "What's wrong with your throat?"

Pei Yan snorted coldly, "You call me a fool, I'm angry."

Xie Xinghe didn't smile, and didn't say a word, Pei Yan touched his face, "Leave me alone, you're almost burning to 39 degrees, you know that?"

Xie Xinghe belatedly felt the discomfort in his body, dizziness, thirst, aches all over, cold and hot.

He closed his eyes weakly, tilted his head and put his head into Pei Yan's palm, and after a while, he said softly: "Unfortunate..."

Pei Yan bent down and kissed him on the lips, "I'll get you some water."

Xie Xinghe opened his eyes and carefully looked at the bridge of his nose, "Is your nose okay?"

"It's been gone for a long time," Pei Yan said, "Don't worry, it's strong and won't collapse."

He mixed warm water and helped Xie Xinghe drink it sip by sip, Xie Xinghe pushed the cup to him, "You drink some too."

Pei Yan drank it in one gulp, put the empty cup aside, and helped him to lie down again. Xie Xinghe asked strangely, "You don't faint anymore?"

Pei Yan was also taken aback, staring at Xie Xing and the needle on the back of his hand for a while, "I don't seem to be dizzy anymore."

When Xie Xinghe was hospitalized, Pei Yan still fainted from the injections, but Xie Xinghe got the injection every day, and he saw him every day, so the fainting was not so serious, and now it seems that he has not fainted at all.

He smiled and said, "It's good that I don't get dizzy, otherwise you'll run away and kill me with a needle someday."

After saying this, both of them fell silent, Xie Xinghe shrank his face under the quilt after a while, and said in a muffled voice, "Why am I running..."

Pei Yan stared at his exposed eyes, with uncontrollable resentment in his tone, "I don't know what you're running away from, you're going to break up with me, and you're crying yourself out, your hands are full of injuries..."

As soon as Pei Yan said Xie Xinghe, he felt that his other hand, which was not needled, was wrapped with a circle of gauze. He lightly clenched his fist under the quilt, "What's wrong with my hand?"

Pei Yan stared at him, "Are you still ashamed to ask me? How hard can you dig your palm like that?"

Xie Xinghe closed his eyes and didn't look at him, "I didn't notice..."

Pei Yan couldn't bear it anymore, and scolded him: "Xie Xing and I sometimes wonder if you don't feel pain, how can you bear to hit yourself so hard? You can't feel the pain, it's all on me! "

Xie Xinghe's face was flushed with heat, and he said dizzily, "Brother Yan, I feel bad..."

No matter how much Pei Yan had to say, Xie Xinghe said repeatedly, "Hug..."

Pei Yan quickly took off his shoes and went to bed, hugged him into his arms, lowered his head and kissed his hot forehead, and said in a hoarse voice: "Xing Xing, don't think about breaking up anymore, I can't be separated from you, I'm leaving I won't let you go...don't hurt yourself anymore, I'll take you to see a psychiatrist, let's go for treatment..."

Xie Xinghe turned over, buried his face in Pei Yan's chest, and thought drowsily, what kind of psychiatrist should he see? Just send me to a mental hospital.

------

Xie Xinghe's fever kept recurring, and it was still low-grade on the third day.

Pei Yan didn't go anywhere these days, and stayed at home with Xie Xinghe 24 hours a day. Xie Xinghe didn't show any abnormalities anymore, and he was very obedient.

Pei Yan was making dinner for him in the kitchen, and he quietly appeared behind Pei Yan, wrapping his arms around Pei Yan's waist.

Pei Yan turned to look at him, "I was startled, why are you walking so silently..."

Xie Xing rested his chin on his shoulder, and Pei Yan pressed his face to his forehead, "Why don't you rest on the bed? Have you taken your temperature? Is it still burning?"

Xie Xinghe shook his head, and said softly: "It's not measured, it should not be burned."

Pei Yan raised his eyebrows, "Xinghe?"

"Hmm...maybe...I can't tell the difference either." Xie Xinghe said with a drawn out voice.

"Then there's no distinction," Pei Yan patted his waist back, "Go take your temperature and see if it's still burning."

Xie Xinghe didn't move, Pei Yan smiled, "I'm so clingy, go quickly."

"Kiss me before I go."

Pei Yan had no choice but to put down what he was doing and wash his hands, turned around and held Xie Xinghe's face, and kissed him hard on the lips, "Are you done?"

Xie Xinghe narrowed his eyes, "It's too perfunctory..."

"I'm still perfunctory?" Pei Yan rubbed his face with both hands. The skin of the former big star is really better than ordinary people, smooth and tender, "Don't you remember how you used to be perfunctory to me? Little ancestor?"

Xie Xinghe didn't try to defend himself, so he raised his head slightly and waited for him to kiss him. Pei Yan helplessly and pamperingly kissed his forehead, eyebrows, corners of eyes, bridge of nose, cheeks, lips...almost the whole face , "It's not perfunctory this time."

Xie Xinghe said "Mmm", and Pei Yan slapped his butt, "If you continue to act like a spoiled child, you will always give me | Fuck, no one will believe you if you are on the top."

Xie Xinghe said without thinking, "Okay."

Now Pei Yan was stunned, and remained silent for a long time with a stern face. Although he had been unwilling to admit it before, being fucked by Xie Xinghe was really cool, which was different from being fucked by Xie Xinghe.

Xie Xinghe pinched his face with a smile, "You're kidding, aren't you happy?"

Pei Yan sneered, "What's wrong with me, why don't you keep giving me｜fuck?"

Xie Xinghe didn't expose him, just kissed him and went to take his temperature.

After a while he came back with a thermometer, "37 degrees 5."

Pei Yan frowned when he heard it, and reached out to take it, "Let me see."

Xie Xinghe hugged him again, and leaned against his back as if he had no bones. Pei Yan held up the thermometer and squinted for a long time, "It's indeed 37 degrees 5. It's been three days and why hasn't the fever subsided."

Xie Xinghe said indifferently: "This temperature is not considered a fever, I don't even feel it."

Pei Yan clicked his tongue, "Why don't you count it? It's a low-grade fever, and you have to continue to take the medicine. Go and drink a glass of hot water. You haven't drunk enough water."

Xie Xinghe shook him lightly, "I'm really fine... I used to have a fever of almost 39 degrees and still perform on stage..."

Pei Yan turned his head and stared at him, "Do you want to die?"

Xie Xinghe paused, and said softly, "It's the past..."

Pei Yan also came to his senses. He turned around and stroked Xie Xinghe's hair. After a while, he sighed in a low voice and said, "I wish I had chased you sooner."

"It's fine now."

·

After dinner, Xie Xinghe sat on the carpet and brushed ketchup, while Pei Yan sat on the sofa beside him, staring at the computer screen seriously.

After deciding to take Xie Xinghe to see a psychiatrist, Pei Yan has personally checked all the information of the famous psychiatrists in the city, and is currently screening them one by one.

He occasionally glanced at Xie Xinghe from the corner of his eye, and Xie Xinghe was combing his hair quietly all the time.

Pei Yan cleared his throat and said, "Xing Xing, stop sitting on the floor, the fever hasn't subsided yet."

"Well, it will be done soon," Xie Xinghe said, "Why does your voice go up and down?"

Pei Yan coughed twice again, "It's okay, it's okay, I guess it will be fine tomorrow."

Xie Xinghe got up and went to the bathroom to wash his hands, then went to the restaurant and poured a glass of warm water by Pei Yan's hand, "Have a drink."

Pei Yan didn't take his eyes off the screen. After drinking, he raised the water glass and handed it to him, "You drink too, drink more."

Xie Xinghe looked at the information on the computer with him while holding a glass of water, pretending to ask casually: "Brother Yan, why didn't you take me to see a doctor before?"

Pei Yan slid the index finger of the mouse, paused, and said after a while: "Didn't you want to see a doctor before?"

"Then what happened later? After I lose my memory, don't you want me to recover it?"

Pei Yan opened his mouth, but he couldn't say any more self-deceiving words. He suddenly raised his head to look at Xie Xinghe, patted the seat beside him and said, "Sit."

Xie Xinghe sat down, Pei Yan looked him in the eyes, and said very solemnly: "I'm sorry Xingxing, I want to apologize to you for this matter."

Xie Xinghe lowered his eyes to look at the small drops of water on the glass, "Why do you apologize?"

Pei Yan's Adam's apple twitched, and he said with some difficulty: "It's me...too selfish, I don't want you to see a doctor, I'm afraid that after you recover, I will..."

Pei Yan's voice was a little hoarse again, Xie Xinghe raised his eyelids to look at him, and finished the sentence for him, "You are afraid that I will become a normal person, and you will never see the stars again."

Pei Yan gave a soft "um", even though he was ready, he still felt ashamed when Xie Xinghe expressed his inner thoughts in person.

He lowered his head and stopped looking at Xie Xinghe. After a while, a warm glass was pressed against his face. Pei Yan looked over and found that Xie Xinghe was looking at him very gently.

"Are you not afraid now?"

Aren't you afraid you won't see the stars?

"I'm afraid," Pei Yan took the glass from his hand and held his fingertips in his palm, "but your mental health is more important, I can't be so selfish anymore."

Xie Xinghe looked at him for a while, then suddenly leaned over and hugged him, Pei Yan raised his hand to stroke his back, "I hope you will be happier."

Xie Xinghe lowered his eyes, no emotion could be seen on his face.

Pei Yan, if the stars are gone, will you still love me?

Yes, it's just that you don't love the real me anymore.

But if the stars are always there, I will never be able to give you normal love.

Pei Yan keenly sensed that something was wrong with Xie Xinghe's mood, so he retreated a little, "Xingxing..."

"Did you find the Frisbee with ketchup?" Xie Xinghe asked.

Pei Yan froze for a moment, then said helplessly, "Baby, why are you more persistent than ketchup? It's already playing other frisbees."

"I lost it."

Pei Yan sighed, and rubbed the back of his head vigorously, "I'm so stubborn, wait, I'll go out and look for it."

Xie Xinghe grabbed Pei Yan's wrist, "Forget it, don't look for it, just lose it if you lose it."

Pei Yan quickly held his hand, "Is the injury healed, don't use too much force...Baby, why do I feel that you are not happy? What's wrong?"

"No, just a little tired." Xie Xinghe said softly.

Pei Yan kissed him distressedly, "It burned for several days, and my big baby was burnt to death. Let's go upstairs to sleep."