grandfather's daughter-in-law

Ding Jianye threw away all the gifts I bought for Ding Xi, he was depriving me of my love for Ding Xi openly.He thinks this kind of love is dirty, dirty and shameful, just like the label he put on me.Ding Xi hugged those building blocks and Qiduo circle and cried and said not to burn them, but in the end they were all reduced to ashes.A child is a child after all, and he promised her more presents, which she quickly forgot.But this incident suddenly made me realize that I am like a spider pinched by Ding Jianye. I came back to protect my stomach, but still felt unobstructed.I've never felt so naked in my entire life.When he was in the hospital, as long as he wanted, he could say, "If it was Yu Minxiu, could you just pretend like nothing happened" or "You owe her your whole life, you owe her your life. When she was young, she wanted to kill her with her own hands, and when she grows up, she will know that she is calling a mother who wants to kill herself every day, which is really ridiculous." This is the way he speaks, he always He uttered the cruelest truth in a very light and disdainful tone, oh no, he was proudly announcing his rights to me.This unfair agreement has destined me to live in his shadow for the rest of my life.

The kindergarten teacher finally told me that the incident was purely accidental, caused by a quarrel among the children.She explained again and again that the so-called quarrel was that there was a child who wanted to play with Ding Xi's building blocks that day, but Ding Xi loved those building blocks so much that he refused to touch them. When they started making a fuss, Ding Xi swallowed the building block out of desperation.She said the child's parents wanted to apologize to us in person.Ding Xi was not seriously ill. After taking out the building blocks in the hospital, he ate liquid food for two days, and his esophagus recovered.I politely declined the kindergarten teacher, but she said that the child's parents were very persistent, so I finally went.

When I came to the school, I realized that I was actually going to a Hongmen banquet.Lin Jiaxi greeted me with a smile in a pink dress, apologized sincerely in front of the kindergarten teacher, and introduced me to the little girl who was dressed up beautifully.I have never looked at a face so seriously, not because I am arrogant, but because I am cold by nature, but I remembered that face all at once.It's not exquisite, it's even a little rough, with slightly sunken cheeks, and there seems to be Ding Jianye's breath between his eyebrows and eyes.I looked at Ding Xi again, that small face, the mouth that rarely opened a smile, seemed to carry my melancholy, and there was no shadow of Ding Jianye.Lin Jiaxi smiled at me inexplicably, and I inexplicably remembered that day, on that unknown mountain, she told me that she would marry Ding Jianye.Maybe the reason she insisted on having me come to school was not to apologize, but to show me this face and tell me that she did it.I remembered the afternoon when I met Lin Jiaxi, the sky seemed to be very dark, the owner of the fruit bar smiled and introduced to me fruits suitable for pregnant women, and finally bought exactly the same fruit as Lin Jiaxi.We looked at each other, smiling unintelligibly.

I heard my gentle and greeting voice, recalled the past in a deep tone, and naturally talked about the time when I was young, her leaving without saying goodbye, and the afternoon when I met by chance.We are like old friends we haven't seen for decades, chatting about the past.The kindergarten teacher saw that we were old acquaintances and left.Then I naturally asked about the child. Lin Jiaxi said happily that he was a mischievous boy. He was already six years old and had just entered elementary school.I'm not sure she said so much, because I suddenly thought of many people, me when I was a child, my father, Ding Jianye, and Ding Xi.I remembered that I was also very happy when I was a child. Before my father left, he was very kind to me. At that time, the rare snacks were piled up in the house. He sometimes hugged me, but he never stabbed me or scratched me with his chin, because he The chin is always clean without a trace of stubble.Ding Jianye is very much like him, and Ding Xi is very much like me.I finally understand Ding Jianye's inexplicable harshness and unreasonable fault-finding towards me. I finally understand the implication of all these. Pity is not just pity. He seems to ask me to love Ding Xi with a demanding attitude. I modeled it so that he could walk away with peace of mind and face his own heart without guilt.He put all his debts to her on me in advance, that kind of animal is locked in a cage and anxious, anxious but can only turn around, just throwing all the restlessness and anger on the cage.In the final analysis, I am trapped in his cage!I am the chief culprit who made him fall into a ruthless, unrighteous, unbenevolent and untrustworthy situation!How much he wanted to take pity on me, how much he wanted to love me well, but it's a pity that the spring is in vain.If I can love him a little bit, if I can also fulfill the responsibility of a wife a little bit, if I can not put all my thoughts on Yu Minxiu, if I can pretend everything well, the result will not be like this now .Blame me, blame me all.It's a pity that there is another person in this world who is deeply stuck in the swamp of life with me.It's ridiculous that I face this person day and night, share the same bed with him, and I call him my husband, but I treat him as a stranger.

I thought of Ding Xi again, and the last afternoon when she was still in my stomach.Sweat kept dripping on the floor in front of me, but I couldn't actually see it.Because I can't remember how many times I jumped, and I didn't see the sweat on the floor until I finally fell on the cold ground and my stomach started to hurt.I must still be wearily thinking, that should be enough.That's right, I killed her with my own hands, and Ding Jianye saved her with my own hands.Therefore, I am the murderer and he is the savior.But he saved her and hurt her, because he couldn't love her all the time in the end.I thought of Yu Minxiu again, and how she told me with a pale face in that hospital in Tainan that she thought of her two children, who she selfishly brought into this world, and then selfishly abandoned them.How pitiful they are!

I can't remember what she said after that.I still remember that there seemed to be wind in front of me and fallen leaves fluttering in the sky. We were sitting on a small swing, talking while swinging, probably like a reunion of real old friends.If you have to figure it out, it's probably because this world is difficult.The world is difficult, and one must have something to be attached to in order to survive.That is the motivation we need to live, but some people are obsessed with power, some with money, some with lust, and some with love.Ordinary people, who can really tell what happiness looks like, whether it has wings or is pure like a baby.

For the first time I thought about divorce.This marriage that has bound me all my life and is full of lies and misfortune is like the white cloth that once wrapped around my chest, making me linger on.Both my love and my freedom are dying.It's time to end.Fate is always wrong, so why bother to be obsessed with the result of fate, it's time to give yourself a break.While I still have a little strength, while I can still walk, get away from here.If the world is destined to have no sun, why should we be afraid of darkness?If you have never owned it, why should you be afraid of losing it?It was just a failed redemption.Although going around and going around in camps and camps are all kinds of hardships, but we have never gone through it, how do we know if this road is going to be a dead end or a bright future?There are tens of thousands of people in this world like me, humble, unblessed, daring to show love to someone, how much bitterness and pain they have experienced, I am afraid no one can tell, but if you ask do you regret it, I will I think everyone will answer no without hesitation!

My memory began to disappear intermittently. There were many things that I could no longer remember, and some things that I remembered seemed to be like dreams, so that I was in a trance, as if I really couldn't distinguish between reality and dreams.I remember seeing a story in a certain book, probably about a king.He fell in love with his mother, killed his father, and finally chose self-exile because of guilt and remorse.This story was originally only blurred like a dream in my mind, but as time went by, I found that it was less and less like a dream, but like Shizuo Jingxian told me after hearing it from the school teacher s story.But when Jingnan Jingxian was able to tell stories, Ding Xi had already been born, and Jingnan Jingxian would probably not tell me such a story, so it became blurred like a dream again.

There was another time, probably after the show of "Butterfly Transformation", the backstage with poor lighting was the same as many times before, only Yu Minxiu and I were left in the backstage.I asked her whether Liang Shanbo loved Yingtai or Jiumei.That kind of dim light creates a very dreamy feeling.Yu Minxiu replied to me that Shanbo loved Yingtai. At that time, he didn't even know who the ninth sister was, so how could he speak of love.When I heard it, I felt like a deer was running amok inside, and I asked her if Yingtai hadn't been a woman disguised as a man, how would Shanbo deal with herself?She was silent for a long time, while taking off her headdress and clothes, she answered me after a long time, saying that love is love, and there is no distinction between men and women.This probably wasn't like what Yu Minxiu could say, so I thought it was just a dream of mine.Sure enough, in the future, when I tried to test my words again, Yu Minxiu would never say anything again.Dreams are always dreams, and those who want to turn dreams into reality are probably called dreamers.

How much time do you have in your life to rearrange and archive the past?The footsteps of fate are always chaotic and hurried.I think that the longer I think about it, the less things I can remember, and finally I may forget that I used all my luck and courage to love this woman named Yu Minxiu.In the face of time, many things will be eclipsed, such as our memory.I can only appeal to my notepad again.After giving birth to Ding Xi, it became blank several times, and the occasional few words turned into messy graffiti.On September 27, [-], only the word compassion was left on the tear-stained page, which was my last record.For three full years, I pondered over the word love.For three whole years, I kept to this word with modest hopes.I don't know how many more three years it will take to prove to her the fact that I love her.It's not that I can't afford to wait, I'm just afraid that this waiting time will be full of regrets, and I'm still not generous enough.Three years to make a decision is probably enough.