grandfather's daughter-in-law

When the kindergarten teacher called to say that Ding Xi was sick, I was probably preparing for a performance or busy with something, so I didn't receive the call in time.Ding Jianye didn't inform me. When I heard about it from others and hurried to the hospital, I only had time to see the tightly closed double doors.I don't know if it's because people's hearts will become indifferent because of a lot of experience. I looked at the fluorescent words on the door with the operation in progress, and I didn't feel much moved in my heart.There were still a few dead flies lying on the window sill, and the sunlight shone through the glass brightly.Many years ago, I saw a world full of red.I once knelt in a similar place and begged God to forgive me.I was the only one who was selfish and almost caused her not to be able to open her eyes to see the world.After so many years, I am a strict vegetarian, I strictly do good deeds every day, and I no longer have any unreasonable thoughts.I don't know why I still come to this place and go through this agonizing wait.

Ding Jianye walked back and forth anxiously, his leather shoes kept stepping on the floor making rattling sounds.He sternly asked the kindergarten teacher what he ate for Ding Xi, scolding her for being irresponsible, but she submissively replied that it was nutritious porridge, which was exactly the same as all her classmates.It was fine during lunch, but then I suddenly started crying during the game.Her voice was low, full of guilt and anxiety, and she sounded like she was about to cry.It was a young girl in her twenties, with a brown mole on her left eyebrow, and her life was as pale as a piece of white paper.I couldn't bear it, so I persuaded Ding Jianye that it would not be too late to investigate after the doctor's diagnosis. Since he came to the hospital, there shouldn't be any major problems.If I had the ability to predict the future, I would definitely take back this sentence.I will certainly not sympathize with that little girl who is about to cry.I would never expose myself to his full rage, but it was too late.

He frowned and stared at me, as if staring at a stranger, "Do you know what you're talking about? The one lying inside is your daughter, your daughter! How could you say such a thing?" So light, so nonchalant?" His suppressed anger blazed in the empty aisle.The kindergarten teacher looked at him in bewilderment, but I just opened my mouth in a daze.

"You act like a person who has nothing to do. If you were someone else, wouldn't you be able to act like nothing happened?"

I don't know if I really acted as if nothing had happened, or just acted as if nothing had happened. I didn't see her looking at me with tears in my eyes, I didn't hear her hoarse voice screaming pain to me, and I didn't see Bai Bai, who was as cute as a girl. The angelic little face is suffocated like a pig's liver, so I can't tell if I'm speaking too lightly.But at that moment, my heart skipped a beat, as if a pot of flowers fell from the roof of a building in front of me while walking on the street for no reason. The pain of knowing that he is still alive, but he hates being insight into this shameful motive of living.My words began to take cold arrows.

"I know it's my daughter inside, and I care about her very much, but if you bite people like a mad dog, will she get well?"

"You say I'm a mad dog?" Ding Jianye looked at me meaningfully, "Don't forget, you owe her your whole life."

"This is a hospital. The doctor is helping her. What will happen to her? What can happen? Here, you are the most unpredictable person."

"You guys, stop arguing. This matter is all my fault." The kindergarten teacher apologized nonchalantly, but he couldn't suppress the war that had erupted at all.

Ding Jianye looked at me and the kindergarten teacher angrily—unknowingly, I had formed an alliance with the kindergarten teacher, "If anything happens to my daughter, I will never let you go."

Unreasonable, those are the last four words I can utter.It never occurred to me at the time that such anxiety might be more about being overwhelmed than concern and guilt.A person's childhood experience will always affect a person's values ​​and outlook on life, just like a young child who has always been loved and protected, may never grow into a responsible person, and will never be fully independent.Once something happens, the first thing that comes to mind is to seek protection, but one day this protection is gone, he will be restless, running around, and may even find no way out for the rest of his life.

After half an hour, the operation was finally over.Ding Xi fell asleep, her small body was covered by a big sheet, her face was blue, and her hair was messily pasted on her forehead.The doctor took off his mask and told us that it was a foreign body in the esophagus. The operation was a success. He advised us that children aged three to five are the age most likely to swallow things by mistake, so remember to take good care of the children next time.He also asked the nurse to stay for a while to show us what was taken out of Ding Xi's trachea.It was a building block about the size of a thumb. When she first went to kindergarten, the kindergarten teacher said that she was so well-behaved that she was a little withdrawn. She didn't like to play with her classmates and often played alone. She said that the child's quietness and withdrawnness may not be conducive to future intellectual growth. and communication, I bought this building block to let her pass the time.Since then, she has had a lot of fun every day. She has never been bored with disassembling and disassembling the building blocks, and she has never asked me to buy new building blocks, just because she knows that the building blocks are disassembled twice a day. Just come to take her home.One day, she told me that Jingnan hadn't come after the assembly was disassembled twice, which caused her to wait for a long time, and she was very upset.In fact, it wasn't that Jingnan and Jingxian broke the appointment, but that her building speed became faster, so I bought her a second set of building blocks, and this one is one of them.

After the doctor left, Ding Jianye still looked at me coldly.The kindergarten teacher has also left, and there are more than a dozen children waiting for her.Sitting down in front of Ding Xi's hospital bed, Ding Jianye and I still had no conversation.I tidied up Ding Xi's messy hair.The curly wig was sideways.She has always been a beauty-loving child since she was a child, and at the age of three, she knew how to please Jing Nan and Jing Xian with her beauty.She wakes up early every day just to have more time to tidy herself up, without having to brush her teeth in front of everyone.She felt ashamed of it, even though she still wets the bed sometimes.I always feel that such a clean and well-behaved child will definitely not eat those dirty building blocks by mistake.But I forgot, she was only a three-year-old child.I took off her wig and kissed her lovingly on the forehead, which drew a sarcasm from Ding Jianye.

"It's only now that I'm hypocritical. If you really cared about her, you wouldn't let such a thing happen."

He started blaming me for the accident.All the faults are on me, and even my concern is false, if he thinks that I have moved a little bit of true affection, it must be just to make up for my guilt.In his eyes, I was the embodiment of sin.

I still arrange her hair carefully and gently.Rarely have I looked at her with such tenderness.She is my daughter, but she also seems to be my daughter in name only.I have never personally experienced that kind of heart-piercing pain, I have not personally felt her small body come out of my body one by one, I was unconscious when they took her out of my body, and I was in a coma. Going through pain that has absolutely nothing to do with her, perhaps doomed our mother-daughter relationship to be so weak from the beginning, I even had to see my belly folds and unsightly stretch marks to be sure that she was indeed a piece of me that was pregnant for seven months of meat.When she was one and a half years old, she was still walking erratically, and she had already learned to tease me.One day when I was lying on the deck chair and taking a nap, she scratched my palm with a feather she picked up from nowhere, with the purpose of waking me up to play with her.When I tried to reach out and grab her, she staggered backwards, staggered, and almost fell a few times, but she just had fun and giggled.For her, this simple teasing and dodging is full of thrills and excitement, but such happy moments are few and far between for us.I can't be like Mrs. Ma, holding them in my arms, tickling their chests with my chin, and making them laugh.Perhaps, this is also the reason why I lost to her in the end.All in all, I was a failed mother, a failed wife, a failed aunt, and a failed suitor.

"I never thought that you would be so selfish and cruel." He said calmly.