grandfather's daughter-in-law

On September 27, [-], my daughter was born. The single name is Xi, which means to recover from loss, and to treat with cherish.She stayed in my womb for just over seven months before being forced into the world.The doctor said that she was less than five catties when she was born, and the flesh was a little bigger than a palm, but it was a fresh and complete life.When I first met her she looked smaller, thinner, redder, and weaker than the original Shizuo Jinghyun.Curled up with little hands and feet, after staying in the incubator for more than half a month, I can finally have a normal start like other children.I hugged her, looked at her small face, small mouth, small hands, small feet, and small buttocks, and felt her soft body.Her skin is still a little wrinkled, her calf will kick a little bit occasionally, her small eyes flicker at me, she is so small, but so spiritual.I used to want to end this madness by jumping rope like crazy.I am such a cruel mother, so cruel that it is outrageous, but she survived under my clutches after all.

She is like the copy of Jingnan Jingxian when she was a child. She is the same small, not quiet, cries often, and doesn't like to drink milk, but she likes Jingnan very much.Every time I see Jingnan taking care of her like a little mother, rocking the cradle, talking to her, coaxing her, I feel an indescribable emotion in my heart.During the day, she is Jingnan Jingxian; only when breastfeeding and at night, she is mine.This child, who was three years late, lay quietly in my arms every night, in the gap between my marriage with Ding Jianye.We used to long for her arrival so much, but when she really came, we were still in a daze, as if we were in a dream.She has carried too much, the shame that Ding Jianye once wanted to wash away, and his confession to the world, reminding him of the pain that I, the woman who betrayed him, brought to him.She also bears my promise to love, love betrays me, reminds me of the fact that I have become a mother, she even reminds the ruthlessness of the years, so that we all forget her herself, she is just a newborn facts about children.

Ding Jianye didn't mention anything about the child's premature birth.He didn't mention how he saved me from the pool of blood, saved this child, he didn't even look at me.The way he looked at me was indifferent, deep, and resentful, just like looking at a sinful stranger.All the words were relayed from Yu Minxiu's mouth, and all husband's responsibilities were performed by Yu Minxiu.This more or less dilutes my strangeness about this newborn daughter.When they took me into the operating room, I passed out, and when I woke up, she told me I had a daughter.She said that she could be seen lying quietly in the incubator from a distance behind the rusty glass window, so quiet, motionless, as if dead, but as long as you look carefully, you will see her Her chest rose and fell, although it was very slow, very light, almost imperceptible, but she was really breathing.That is life.It feels exactly the same as touching your belly with your hands when you were pregnant, with a slight beating, connected to your own heartbeat.This is mother and child.She said that a child is a piece of flesh that fell from the mother's body. It is connected with your muscles and bones and your flesh and blood, and will never leave you for the rest of your life.No matter where you are, it is another existence of you, your continuation.

"Be kind to her, be kind to yourself," she told me.

That's how my daughter came about.We are inevitably a woman, and we are inevitably a mother, and this has been an immutable fact since we were still in the womb of our own mothers.In any case, after going around and bumping into blood, this is the way back.It took me a long time to be sure that she really came out of my stomach, a piece of flesh that fell off my body.My body also experienced some changes. The skin on my abdomen became rough and wrinkled, and white streaks appeared on the underlying ligaments. The skin did not look like a part of my body, but like a loose sheet.It was not long after giving birth to Ding Xi, and I realized in despair that it was too late, and the gauze binding was completely useless.Ding Xi's toothless gums are gnawing and sucking my nipples, as if sucking the last slowly passing youth and beauty of my life.I watched all this in despair, and finally believed that the small body and those flickering eyes really came out from under the wrinkled quilt.Because of this fact, I felt like it was all over.I will never be able to face her with this wrinkled belly again.It's over, it's over.

We didn't mention that day again, as if it was disloyalty and betrayal to talk about any personal feelings because of Ding Xi's arrival, as if I could finally realize that we all have our own homes and children, really I shouldn't have any unreasonable thoughts anymore, and I can finally understand exactly what she said that violated human relations.Wrong, everything is wrong.From the moment I decided to marry Ding Jianye, no, maybe earlier, from the moment I met her, everything was wrong.All experiences should be returned to the years.

For a long time, Mrs. Ma did not come again.Apart from caring about Ding Xi's condition, Ding Jianye never communicated with me.This is very strange, two most familiar strangers conceived the same child.My unsightly belly and sagging breasts also seemed to have reached the burnout stage of a four-year marriage.We no longer have sex.We will still divide half of the bed evenly, being friendly and unfamiliar.On the surface, we are just a couple who are not so loving. Who said that a husband and wife must be affectionate and affectionate?I spend my days in the theater troupe and the three children, seeing Yu Minxiu teasing them, watching Jingnan Jingxian caring for Ding Xi like his own sister, I feel that life is not so hopeless if it lasts forever. .

Xiao Dingxi grew up day by day.She was very happy, she was fat and clean, and she was even healthier than a normal child.Ding Jianye loves and spoils her, buys her a lot of nutritional supplements, takes her to the hospital for regular checkups, and fulfills his responsibilities as a father.Jingnan accompanied her all the time, and Jingxian Yaya taught her how to speak.They also made her cry sometimes, after all, they were only three-year-olds, but those were rare times.In short, as the youngest child in the family, Ding Xi enjoys the love of everyone.Jingnan is still so lively, and it is said that she is a bully on campus (she often protects Jingxian very well, and occasionally gets accused of petty troubles), but it is always innocuous.The paint that Mrs. Ma gave was confiscated by Yu Minxiu after she smeared a few clothes indiscriminately.Jingxian is weak in body, quiet in temperament, very talented in arithmetic, and can do simple arithmetic at the age of four or five.

Ding Xi grew up to be three years old, the age to go to kindergarten.Jingnan Jingxian went to elementary school.Every day after they have breakfast together, Wang Yugui will send them to school.However, Ding Xi was not used to that strange environment.Those chirping children made her very curious and frightened. On the first day, she took my hand and stood in the crowd looking around from a distance, with a serious and quiet face, and said nothing.People kept leaving, children kept crying for their mother, and then she started crying without warning.She cried and looked for Jingnan and Jingxian.I am helpless.For a long time, she couldn't adjust to that blank time.Later, Jingnan Jingxian led her there naturally.In this regard, Jingnan is very duty-bound and never turns back.Because apart from those naughty complaints, this was the first time she got the teacher's appreciation at school.She hugged Ding Xi excitedly (almost fell down), waved her two little arms and told Yu Minxiu and me cheerfully that the teacher praised her for being really capable, and she would take her sister to school at such a young age.From then on, Jingnan and Jingxian took Ding Xi to school every day without missing a beat.On that section of the road, which lasted about fifteen minutes, rows of acacia trees were planted along the way, and yellow-green flowers bloomed all the way in summer.Under the tree, there are stalls selling various kinds of breakfast, and there are small-scale breakfast shops, convenience stores, stationery stores, and sports equipment stores.Every day, Yu Minxiu would watch the three small bodies pouring into the crowd from afar before starting the day's training.Sometimes I feel in a trance that the days may last forever, and then one day, misfortune wakes us up unexpectedly again.