bad derailment

Go home alone, the key opens the door.The kitten who heard the movement barked at me a few times, as if asking why it was late today.

I went straight back to the bedroom, threw my body on the bed, the familiar smell wrapped my whole body, and finally let go of all the tiredness.

The left side of my face and temples were in pain one after another. I covered my cheeks and curled up my limbs involuntarily, unable to withstand the cold that penetrated into my bones from all directions.

Close your eyes, you can still smell the smell of disinfectant in the hospital, and see Jiang Qiushi's shocking blood poured down in front of you.In an instant, it gradually coincided with the scene where Chen Feng fell many years ago, frame by frame flashed through his mind, and even the fear that surged up was equally clear.

An indescribable pain ripped through my body, dragging me into the impenetrable sea water.The icy liquid spread from the feet, swallowing the body bit by bit.I opened my eyes abruptly, breathing quickly, and my heart was beating wildly in my chest.It was already dark all around, and only a few lights could be seen in the building next door.

It's already eight o'clock in the evening.

I sat up from the bed, my limbs were a little stiff, and I fell asleep for a few hours without knowing it.Turning on the light in the bathroom, I saw myself reflected in the mirror, my cheeks were red and swollen, and my eyes were bloodshot, as if I had just recovered from a serious illness, and a little nausea spread from my chest.

What's disgusting, I can't tell.It may be because of all the things I encountered today, Shao Qin who endured the grief and resentment, Jiang Qiushi who I can't hate now, and myself who brought the situation to this point.

The faucet squeaked, the cold water pierced the skin and slid down the chin along with the recurring pain.I looked at my face covered with water droplets in the mirror, and I couldn't tell where the water was and where the tears were.

The disgusting thing is not the moment when you hear 'husband', nor is it when you learn that Jiang Qiushi has been married for four years.Instead, I realized that all the good things in the past were based on false lies, and realized that he had calculated everything so perfectly that I couldn't even bring up my hatred, and I felt bitingly sad in an instant.

I am a selfish, despicable, unbearable person.Whenever I make mistakes, I always put myself down in this way, so that I can find a reasonable reason for those mistakes.

But in fact, none of these excuses can cover up the crime.In fact, I have always understood that this is evasion and whitewashing.So the cruel reality finally tore off the beautified shell, pressed me to the ground, and watched this mess.

His mistakes are also my crimes.

I betrayed Chen Feng and trampled on his sincerity time and time again.I ruined Jiang Qiushi's family, even if I didn't intend to, but when Shao Qin slapped me in the ear, the explanation is not important anymore.

When a person slips up and makes a mistake, he may be innocent, but he is no longer innocent.

The sound of running water stopped, I wiped my face vigorously, and my hands were wet.The mobile phone placed by the bed rang at some point, and the lit screen flickered in the dark.

Half a minute later, I came to my senses, swiped to open the screen, and lowered my eyes to see a message from Xiaonan.

Xiao Nan: Brother Lin Yao, good evening, Brother Gu just asked me to tell you that the temperature will drop tomorrow and the day after tomorrow, remember to wear thicker clothes when you go out, don’t catch a cold!

Maybe it was because the light was too harsh, and there was a hint of astringency in the eye sockets.Stiff fingers slide on the dialog box, and you can see countless similar information from the past.

I stood there, maybe looked at it for a long time, maybe not that long, and slowly typed a 'OK' and pressed send.

It turns out that tomorrow and the day after tomorrow will cool down, I think.

Xiao Nan:! !

Xiao Nan: Brother Lin Yao, you are finally willing to reply to my message!

Xiao Nan: Brother Gu just finished the production two days ago, so he is not very busy. If you need Brother Lin Yao, I will send you his itinerary.

Her clumsy and eager replies popped up one by one, and I watched quietly, the turbulent discomfort gradually flattened, turning into a feeling of calm, nothingness, and emptiness.I asked her: Is Gu Mingsheng busy tonight?

Xiao Nan replied quickly: neither busy nor busy, not busy at all!

:thanks.

After pressing Exit, I dialed Gu Mingsheng's number.

I don't know why I did this, but when I realized it, Gu Mingsheng's name had already appeared on the screen.

The hands-free voice stretched in the ear, and after a pause, the familiar voice poured into the eardrum.At this moment, my mind suddenly went blank, I moved my lips, and couldn't say a complete sentence.

Something pressed tightly against his throat, making it painful to pull.

"Xiao Yao."

Gu Mingsheng's voice was slightly lowered by the modification of the electric current, like a lover's soft whispers close to his ear, mixed with subtle tremors.For a moment, it was strange and familiar to the extreme, slowly flowing into the bottom of my heart.

I didn't speak, he breathed quietly, and I could hear a little noise, it seemed that there were Xiaonan's inquiries, the clang of moving equipment, the adjustment of lights or the yelling of the camera, mixed together and transmitted to me vividly and truly.

My heart suddenly couldn't hold back its rapid beating, I opened my lips and let out a low moan.

"Gu Mingsheng..."

I just realized that my voice has become so hoarse, it's like drawing an ugly sharp sound on the blackboard with the end of chalk.Leaning against the wall and squatting down a little bit, the mobile phone is stuck too hard, and the pinna of the ear is hurting.

"Gu Mingsheng." I called him again.

"I am," he whispered back, "I am here."

I bit my lip tightly, tasted a trace of blood, suppressed my trembling voice, "What do you think I should do?"

Gu Mingsheng was silent for two seconds, "Xiao Yao, what happened? Are you okay?"

"not too good."

My voice got lower and lower, until I could hardly speak at all.

"What you said is not wrong. I'm still coming back to find you. Did you already guess that there will be such a day? If I had believed in you earlier, when I left Jiang Qiu, wouldn't these things happen?"

Gu Mingsheng didn't ask or answer, his voice disappeared for a short while, replaced by a burst of noise.

I don't know what he's doing, but the noise over my ears makes my temples hurt again.After a long time, his deep voice resurfaced with the sound of the wind: "Xiao Yao, I'm coming to find you now."

When Gu Mingsheng said he came to see me, he didn't hesitate for a moment.I can hear the sound of the car engine starting, it seems that someone stopped to ask something, the wind is noisy, I can't hear his answer clearly.

It's hard for me to hear other voices clearly, only the phrase 'I'm coming to find you now' lingers repeatedly.

The phone was not hung up, Gu Mingsheng's ups and downs of breathing, the movement of the car driving and parking, and the slow and powerful footsteps were all transmitted to me through the microphone.

There was a knock on the door, and I seemed to wake up with a start. I staggered up with my mobile phone in hand, walked out of the bedroom with my stiff legs, and opened the heavy door in front of me.

Gu Mingsheng's figure appeared in front of him, like a picture in a dream.He put his mobile phone next to his ear, wearing a windbreaker, his chestnut hair was slightly messed up on his cheeks on the way up the stairs, his thin lips were lightly pursed, and his amber pupils stared at me, as if he had smashed into my heart through all obstacles. .

I still maintained the original movement, staying there, watching his lips open and close, and the sound of the phone close to my ear rejoined slowly.

"Xiao Yao, I'm here."

There seemed to be a string in my mind snapped suddenly, I looked at Gu Mingsheng, I couldn't hold back the tears that poured out, and in an instant, I was hugged into a very tight embrace.

The collar is mixed with the cold wind outside, and the warmth from Gu Mingsheng is slowly pouring in. It seems to be mixed with a little perfume smell, which is not frivolous and sweet, but wraps me calmly and powerfully, accompanied by the vivid beating heart in the chest.

He stuck to my ear, no longer a cold mobile phone, but real, warm, soft lips, moving slightly and uttering a word.

"Xiao Yao, I'm here."

I was stiff for a long time, I buried my head into his shoulder little by little, tears fell more violently.