want to die in winter [be]

Since that night, our relationship seems to have become a little strange. I don't know how to describe it. It seems to be more than friends, but it seems to be just friends.

I still work part-time at the bar, and he just sits in the booth and drinks silently.

There are often people who strike up a conversation with him, but he ignores them.

I glanced there from time to time, and worked hard while suppressing the throbbing in my heart.

Li Chi came again, Wan Ke didn't know what was wrong with him recently, he was very attached to Li Chi these days.

On the contrary, Li Chi took a look at me and went to his fixed private room.

Hey?

strangeness.

I looked at Lu Changfeng who was at the booth, why didn't Lu Changfeng go to him?

Judging from the relationship between Lu Changfeng and Li Chi who got together on the day he returned to China, they must be very good friends.

But now he didn't say a word.

Could it be... Lu Changfeng saw the condition of that room last time, so he stopped playing with Li Chi!

It sure is!

I admired my strength, hummed a little tune and curled my lips.

I asked for leave today, and I have to leave work early, because I want to go to my previous house to pack things in the afternoon. By the way, Lu Xingfeng has not yet let me take a look at the house he prepared for me.

But what he prepared will definitely not be bad, I am very relieved.

I took his car and went to my old house. Today, my roommate was not there. Faced with Lu Changfeng, he repeatedly said that he wanted to come in, and I agreed.

But when I saw the mess inside, I was still ashamed.

"You...you can just sit on the bed, and I'll tidy up soon."

I don’t take some that I don’t need, and I feel ashamed to put those junk-like things in his car.

I cleaned up quickly, wanting to leave this place of right and wrong quickly, so I didn't notice what Changfeng was doing.

After packing everything up, I saw Lu Changfeng holding a disc to watch.

I immediately rushed over to snatch it away: "You...what are you doing?"

His brows and eyes were smiling: "Are you still watching this?"

I feel ashamed, but I'm a grown man, and I don't believe there's a grown man who doesn't look at things like that to satisfy his cravings.

"I just... watched it once... once."

Lu Changfeng: "Once?"

Well, watch it every day.

I put it in my luggage in a panic, and said angrily, "What's the matter! Don't you want to see it?"

Lu Changfeng's expression faded: "Don't look."

I saw how powerful he was yesterday, and I couldn't believe it.

"How is it possible, lie to me?"

Lu Changfeng shrugged his shoulders: "It's so ugly, what's so good about it, I only get impulsive towards people I like."

I was stunned for a moment, the impact last night was too great, and I forgot whether Lu Changfeng was hard last night.

Without saying a word, I loaded my luggage into the car and followed Lu Changfeng to my new home.

It was a small apartment on the second floor, with three bedrooms and a living room, and a small kitchen, which looked exquisite.

It's not far from bars and restaurants, and of course, it's not far from Lu Changfeng's small villa.

I am like a kite that suddenly falls and has no one to rely on. With the pulling of the lines, I have a sense of belonging to home.

After putting away everything in the luggage, I transferred all the idle money in the card to Lu Changfeng.

Lu Changfeng accepted without refusing.

"Let's go." He said, "To celebrate the housewarming, I invite you to dinner."

I blinked my eyes: "Then I invite you, thank you for finding me a new house."

Lu Changfeng didn't care: "It's fine."

I don't have that much money, and I want to try to give him the most delicious and expensive meals I think.

We went to a hot pot restaurant.

In such a cold and rainy autumn, eating hot pot is the most suitable.

I was afraid that he would not be willing to order. For the first time, the rich and powerful ordered a lot of his favorite food back then, so that the two of us couldn't finish eating when we were full.

I was very happy with a hooked smile, never been so happy.

Obviously, God doesn't want me to be so happy.

The next day, his so-called blind date found me.

She asked me to come to the cafe, and I asked the restaurant owner for leave.

The girl in front of her was wearing a famous brand, with a shiny pearl barrette on top of her slightly curly short hair, and delicate makeup on her face, she looked extraordinary.

I hesitated to sit opposite, and suddenly regretted coming today.

What am I here for?

Lu Changfeng's friend?If it was really just an ordinary friend, then his girlfriend would not meet me with such an expression.

If it's something else... isn't there anything else at all?

I'm still curious, why does her girlfriend think that I have something to do with Lu Changfeng?

Am I being too obvious?

The girlfriend is obviously a well-educated person, and her every move exudes elegance and dignity.

She asked: "You should know what I asked you to do, right?"

I shook my head, I really don't know.

The girl frowned: "Are you Lu Changfeng's friend? I'm his girlfriend."

I nodded, which means that I am his friend, and that I know you are his girlfriend.

"I hope you stay away from him in the future, of course you can tell me what you want."

"Why?" I asked.

She chuckled lightly, as if mocking my ignorance.

"He won't need a friend like you, and you've already influenced him. I don't want you to have any more contact, and I don't even want people like you to stay with him."

Oh I see.

It turned out that I misunderstood that I was too close to Lu Changfeng.

Just like I don't want Lu Changfeng to play with Li Chi.

But it's different.

Li Chi... Li Chi is promiscuous, loves to play, has a lot of tricks, and is ignorant.

And me?

I'm just low self-esteem, poor, cowardly, what have I done wrong?

Isn't such a person worthy of making friends?

Such a person...is he the same as Jiang Chi?

I realized that in the eyes of others, I was the same kind of disgusting person I disliked.

How sad.

Obviously I don't want to either.

Don't I want to wear clean clothes, live in a big house, drive a car, work for the most famous company, and receive the education that should be available in this age?

Don't I want to?

After a long silence, she pushed over a paper ticket.

The voice was like a cold machine. For the first time, I knew that a machine also had emotions, because the sarcasm and disdain in that tone couldn't be ignored.

"You can fill out this check for less than 500 million. As long as you leave Lu Changfeng and go wherever you want, the money will be enough for the rest of your life. You still have to learn to be flexible."

After speaking, she turned around and left in a chic way like those hostesses on TV.

I was left alone, sitting alone in the coffee shop, unable to calm down for a long time.

In the end, I threw the check away.

In order to prevent someone from using it, I tore it into pieces.

Lu Changfeng’s news was really well-informed. He knew about it that afternoon. He came to the bar to find me. This time was different from the previous few times when he sat in the booth. He walked to the front desk, dragged me and left.

I froze for a moment, unable to keep up with his pace.

He didn't stop until he walked into an empty aisle, staring at me for a while.

"Did she find you?" His voice was hoarse.

I nodded.

I'm not quite sure what he means.

But judging by his painful expression, he probably really likes that girlfriend.

I have never wavered in my opinion that Lu Changfeng likes girls.

He's always liked girls and couldn't possibly be gay.

Even if it is, it won't be with me who is so unbearable.

It's a pity, it's a pity, I didn't know that his painful expression at that time was distressed, distressed because he had wronged me.

It's a pity that I don't understand, and when I understand, I won't have a chance.

I hesitated, pondered, grabbed the hem of my clothes with my fingers, and said slowly: "I don't know what I did that affected you, but if you think I...I'm not good, we can be strangers in the future."

My throat hurts, how the hell can I say that.

I really want to cry.

Probably no one understands, no one understands what it feels like to push the person they like away.

The suffocation feeling like a heavy stone stuck in the throat, the dull pain of a knife stabbing in the heart, is a pain that has exceeded the maximum capacity of the body.

But I still have to hold back, holding back the same expression as usual.

"I can move out of the house, and I'm still saving money for the medical expenses you paid for me, and I can wait for my salary to be paid next month..."

"I have nothing to do with her." Lu Changfeng kicked over the trash can next to him.

The sound was so loud that my shoulders trembled.

"I've never had a fucking girlfriend, can't you hear me?"

"Did you ask me something?"

I didn't dare to speak, and I still didn't understand what he meant.

Although I guessed a sharp point, the cowardice in my bones quickly buried the pointy point.

Lu Changfeng looked at me and said to himself: "Why haven't I had a girlfriend for so long? Because I have someone I like."

"I like a guy, understand?"

After he finished speaking, he turned around and strode away. I stood where I was until the foreman called me to work.