God is Daozu

I escaped from danger on March 23 of the year when Tan City was rescued. The military doctor said that day was a good day and flowers bloomed outside the window.

I sat in the observation room where I couldn't see the outside world and smiled at the other escaped soldiers. We were writing a report.

During the days when I was on the verge of death, my dreams and nightmares came one after another. At the moment of my death, all my memories were returned to me. I sat in my dream and looked at the past me. In an instant, I finally understood the past. The days are long gone.After all, I am just an outsider of my past.

I saw the first blessing with my young eyes, and my amazement was overwhelmed by the pain in my body and my mother's terrified cry.The blessing was floating in the air before it was formed. I lay on the ground and saw my mother's face became clearer. She looked at me, and she made me feel that she was in more pain than me.

In the dream, the young Ji Qiang was always giving injections and taking medicine. The picture of the laboratory was blurry, the needle tube was also blurry, and the medicine bottle was also blurry, but my father and mother were very clear. Open the attic window, the outside world is so clear.

In the dream, Ji Qiang grows up rapidly. The older Ji Qiang grows up, the less he laughs. Little Ji Qiang spends more and more time arguing with his parents. At that moment, Xiao Ji Qiang became hysterical again.

I looked sadly at my past self and yelled at him, "Why did you let me know about the outside world...!"

He just looked at me very calmly, "I can't let you be an ignorant person while you live in this world."

When I was young, I was silent about this sentence. I think that Ji Qiang at that time would not understand the sadness behind this sentence. He only restrained himself briefly and confusedly. Silent and docile.

The appearance of a horse once again broke the superficial calm of our lives.In my dream, I can clearly see how it came running from afar. It stepped on the hillside and ran towards me through the land of freedom and unknown. I happily climbed on its horseback, and it walked slowly with my back on its back. But suddenly frightened, it jumped up and seemed to throw me off. In the confusion, I heard gunshots and fell off the horse. My face was hot, and I looked up at my mother holding a gun in the distance.

This scene gave me a great sense of sadness, my mother was so frightened and haggard, she seemed to be going crazy, her eyes were staring and her hair was disheveled, I was crying, and she was crying too.They patrolled the entire mountain carefully while I was recuperating, and I lay in bed crying without saying a word.

I saw my young self squatting next to the cat's grave with an umbrella on a rainy night.

"It's not me who was trapped to death..."

He reached out and stroked the dirt.

"It's them."

And then, I died.

Blessing was floating in the air looking at me lying in the lab, and my mother threw anything she could grab at Blessing, and those things passed through Blessing in vain.Blessing was motionless, staring at the dead me.

"Where is the reagent he gave the cat!"

My mother questioned my father loudly, and my father stared at me without moving. My mother turned on the switch trembling like crazy. The injection was spread all over the side of my body. My father tried to stop my mother, but my mother slapped him viciously in the face.

My father wanted to freeze me, and my mother went crazy and smashed the equipment.

"What are you going to do to him?! It's just a conversion agent!" The father also lost control.

My mother injected all the reagents into my body one by one regardless, her voice and hands were shaking so badly, she was so scared but she pretended to be domineering, as if she was demonstrating to the god of death.

"Give me back my son," she said forcefully.

"Give me back my son, no one is allowed to take him away!"

She looked at me who was unresponsive and trembled more and more.

"One hour, one minute, one second."

"Give me back my son."

"It's enough!"

"He's so young!"

She cried, clutching her father's collar and crying in despair and anger

"Did you see that?! He's so young!"

"He hasn't seen the outside world! He's been born here! He hasn't loved anyone else! He hasn't lived his own life! He died without anything! He's so young! You see! He So young! Was my child born in this world just to suffer 12 years of torture?! He did nothing wrong, why should he suffer such retribution!"

"He has never seen the sun of the outside world! How dare you... How dare you freeze him! Give him back to me!"

My father gave up freezing me, and my mother carried me into the cabin, where the nutrient solution was in vain to maintain the life of a dead body.My mother sat in front of my body and spent every night with me.

On the sixth day of my death I awoke.

My mother opened the pod and hugged me tightly, and I looked at my father through her hair.

"who are you?"

These three words fell coldly in the laboratory, and I saw despair in my father's eyes.

In the days that followed, my life was not stable. I saw myself stop breathing again and again, how I tortured this family to such an extent, and how my father and mother were torn apart.

The year I was 16, the War of the Seas broke out.

The long-term stability made people temporarily forget the tragedy of the first ocean war. The new generation of guides and sentries did not do their job well. This year, the soldiers defected and the society was in turmoil. I saw my father late at night. Sitting motionless in front of the news with my mother.

The torment of the day was written on their faces day by day. One night late at night I heard my mother ask my father.

"Do you remember that place? I went there when I was an exchange student."

"That place was bombed in one day, and there is not an inch of land in this world that is a safe zone."

The father was silent for a while and replied, "...I thought you were the one who was most reluctant to leave him."

"I will never miss him."

The 16-year-old me didn't know what happened to my parents, the only thing he knew was that they were leaving him.He was so sad but happy that they were finally free. At the age of 16, he regarded himself as a cage, naively thought that he was the biggest hell in the world, and he was foolishly happy for their freedom.

My parents have already prepared the nutrition cabin, but they have been reluctant to put me in it for a long time.

"If we don't come back after a year, he will be sent to the Ishtar district. My friends will understand all this when they see him."

I hear the voices of my younger self, and I wish they never came back.

So one morning, I took the camera and the bracket and walked through the dewy grass, out of the courtyard that surrounded me from birth, and I walked towards the mountain, towards the sun on the other side of the mountain.I returned home with the flowers I collected, and my mother was probably nervous about me for the last time in this life. I kissed her side face and gave the flowers to her. I hooked my father's neck and asked him to carry me on his back.After I hung up the photo, I lay down in the cabin without any worries. Blessings replaced my eyes and recorded for me what happened on the day when we met for the last time in this life.

My mother wept into my cabin, her head pounding on the hatch, and my father knelt beside her.

When I dreamed of this moment, I looked at my past and shed tears. I, who could no longer walk into the past, stretched out my hand towards the dream, and I could no longer hug them.

I woke up at this moment and saw the face of the military doctor, and I completely accepted the fact that I couldn't go back.

"Happy Newborn."

I smiled and cried to the military doctor.

On the night after finishing the report, I met the middle-aged man.I came down from the hospital bed to shake his hand, and he looked at my face carefully and took out the photo.

My mother, with her hair cut short, stood with my father, and they looked at me in combat uniform, and I knew it in that moment.

"Are these your parents?"

"Yes."

He paused, and took out a brown leather diary from his pocket, which was my parents' war diary.

I know that I will read them from life to death, and I will read this diary from life to death in my life.

last diary

My child, I wonder if this diary will ever be delivered to you.Today's mom's diary will be continued by dad

I love you

The way I want life to last is you as the fire for me and my mother, you continue our life

And my mother and I left you to go to the battlefield is another continuation of life

If in this special age, human nature is a giant baby of morality

Then someone must become thousands of sparks to achieve more continuation of life

We never leave, we choose another way to continue and accompany you

On your way to adulthood, maybe we will no longer be able to educate you

We expect you to be the proudest

I love you

If one day you see this diary, I hope you will stop looking for us

All the fresh blood and life around you must have the continuation of thousands of sparks

Like all guides and sentries on an honorable mission

we exist among millions