God is Daozu

All the images of the day I parted from Daniel became one long shot in my mind.

We parted, went in different directions and left in the same direction, he walked with his helmet on his back to me and then looked back at me with his blue eyes, a few seconds more profound than ever.

"Ji Qiang."

The squad leader is calling me, I feel someone watching me from the southeast corner of the base before I put on my helmet, I look at him, it is a middle-aged man with gray eyes, I don't know him, I don't understand why he is so surprised I looked at me intently, but I seemed to feel something at that moment, a crazy and chaotic thought came to my mind, he was the same age as my parents.

I admit that I have regretted this moment in the next 613 days. If the ending is the same again, I will still leave without hesitation.

click

The helmet is on my head

I left with my team

The support location I finally chose and accepted was the besieged Tan City. I knew that this trip was tantamount to going to the cemetery. Gao Lan was lying with me on the warship leaving the third district. He held my hand in the middle of the night and suddenly I cried, I haven't seen him cry like this for a long time, even the moment he said goodbye to his parents and sister, he didn't shed tears, and now he cried after knowing where I was going.

"You haven't seen them yet."

I heard that my head was empty, I didn't feel any sadness, I was amazed at my calmness but felt that it wasn't peace, I was like a drained shell, without any emotion, in the next 613 days This feeling has been with me for a long time.

All the ground lines of communication leading to Tan City were cut off. On the opposite side of the lake is the besieged Tan City. High-altitude jammers forced the flight device to be paralyzed. Before we arrived, it had been besieged for half a year. Yin Deng’s sister died. There are many recordings left before, and these recordings are played in Tan City every day. She is a ray of comfort and hope for the besieged citizens, and she is dead.

The enemy army in the north is approaching Tan City, and two enemy troops in the southwest have successfully occupied the ferry on the other side of the lake after cutting off our main traffic line. The supplies we successfully transported are only enough to maintain the minimum survival needs of the people of Tan City for 20 days.

"Ji Qiang, do you know the population of Tan City?"

The squad leader was next to me licking the cigarette butts from a few months ago.

"Nearly 60."

"How many citizens died yesterday?"

"Three thousand."

The squad leader burst out laughing suddenly, the cigarette butts were trembling at his fingertips, the first day I knew him he was a non-smoker, he told me, "Surrender is shameful, winter is coming, the day we break through will save a school What kind of city? Ji Qiang, how many of the 3000 people died of starvation?"

I hold my ration of bread in my hand, and it's light and lifelike.

The surface of the lake is frozen, and the tank city army has opened up a new ferry on the west bank. This is an extremely risky way, and it is also the only way. We will open up a new supply line on the ice.The onslaught of the enemy, the change of the weather, I know very well that we are likely to die on this road, and I also know very well how many people in the city behind me will starve to death this winter depending on this road that can crack at any time.

I also can't explain what caused the fog in my head during that period, which was longer than any time and shorter than any time. I came with a lot of hope like everyone else, but I It's getting colder this winter.

It was the same cold day as yesterday, and the squad leader's truck loaded with supplies suddenly fell into the bottom of the lake. He didn't jump out of the car. I don't know if he didn't have the strength to jump out, or he didn't want to jump out.

The soldiers rescued supplies in a panic. I remember that day when I stood in front of the squad leader. I had never looked at him so carefully. His bruised face had dark circles under his eyes. I knew he was also hungry at the moment before he died. Majestic, he is so young, I looked at his body as if I saw myself, I calmly searched for the letter on his body, only to find the cigarette butt with only residue, the cigarette butt has been smoked countless times in his mouth, and was roasted again I have done it countless times, and at this moment, the residue is wiped lightly on my hand, and there is nothing. The collapse came without warning. I did not collapse amidst the constant gunfire day and night, but collapsed at this moment.

I screamed wildly and was picked up, and the deputy commander punched me twice on the head.

"Are you awake?"

"Sober."

The vehicle restarts.

For a period of time after the squad leader died, I often dreamed of him, and his death became my nightmare. One night, I opened my eyes and the deputy commander sat opposite me.

"You don't look like Dad's grandson."

He looked at my puzzled expression and smiled, "We used to call your grandpa Dad back then, cheer up boy."

I wolfed down the half-slap-sized bread he threw to me, and I heard him ask me, "Did you dream about dead people?"

"I dreamed of the monitor."

I don't know what's funny about my words, but the second conductor laughed.

"When I was studying, I felt that humanities books were the waste of this era. Now that I think about it, some of the words are true. When I was forced to read Zweig's works, I only felt that they were long and annoying, but there is a sentence that I remember. Living."

"What?"

He smiled and stared at me, "Our generation has learned a wonderful skill: Never miss what is lost."

The taste of the bread is getting weirder and weirder. A guide told me that the flour is mixed with sawdust. I didn’t wait for reinforcements at the coldest time of the winter. I fell after walking 40 meters. I knew it was dangerous, and people fell here Then I couldn't get up again.

hi dear second in command papa

i think you have no hunger there

I don't know when you left, I just remember the day I couldn't walk, I thought I might never walk again in my life, I was lying in a snow trench with nausea in my stomach and cold on my chin Even worse, you were dead beside me when I woke up.

Deputy conductor father, how can a person learn this kind of skill, how can a person never miss what is lost.

January 24th of the following year was the most hopeless day of my life

Area 31 was captured again, but the one who launched this war was not an alien, but a human being like me, who was bleeding like the dead citizens of Tan City. The supply line was broken in Area 31. The death toll in Tan City this day Nearly [-], the soldiers on the other side of the bank began to shoot and kill the cannibal citizens, and the people were already starving.

I don’t deny that my whole life has shamefully wanted to surrender at this moment. Bad news came from the Eastern Theater where Daniel is located. Our worst fears happened. Large-scale air strikes, civilization and life collapsed with the building in an instant. The citizens of a hub line in District 31 refused to give the terrorist organization a chance to fight and support the war. The scorched earth plan was implemented that night. The flames burned across the land, and the citizens burned supplies. The alien entered District 31, and the citizens of the hub line were massacred, with nearly [-] dead.

I clearly realized that night that even surrender would not give life to the besieged citizens who were dying of starvation. We can only continue to fight, even if only tens of thousands of people remain in this city of 60 people, we have no choice. , Once the city is abandoned, the enemy will die tragically.

As of February 16, the death toll in the city was 16. What does 16 lives mean?For me, 16 lives mean [-] of me, who can walk and run, who have had hope, disappointment, and dreams, who once thought they were different from other people in the world same death.

The reinforcement team encountered the enemy attacking from the two wings in the rear, and all members were killed. The plan was leaked by insiders at the beginning of the operation, and the reinforcement team commanded to abscond. A total of more than [-] people in the reinforcement team were burned to death.

On February [-]th, the identity of the absconded commander was exposed, and he was a hidden member of a terrorist organization. On the [-]th, aliens occupied the new area.

people are forgetful

We have been through countless wars in the history of our species, we are humans, we accuse each other, we hate each other, we eat each other, we tell and are told who our enemy is, we are humans, humans invade humans, humans kill humans.

We create history, we write down history, we ponder history, we forget history, we invent war, we preach peace, our fathers have gone through countless blood, but we still want to turn war into a continuation of a certain purpose, civilization and Human nature runs counter to the high speed in the development, the more civilized we are, the more barbaric we become, the elite class is crazy in the immoral world, morality is despised in the elite class, the madman stands on the high ground, the madman occupies the voice, and the madman incites ignorance. Innocent lives pay the price.

But what I still can't understand is, why do human beings betray human beings?Why do humans kill humans?

On February 21st, I suffered from the terrible torment of hunger again. The sun rose above the ice and snow trenches, and the light of death enveloped this frozen transportation line. Thinking of death the moment you reach the sun?

Scenes from the past reappeared in my eyes, Gao Lan's tightly clenched hands, Liu Rong's notes, Daniel's blue eyes, and the way the middle-aged soldier looked at me before leaving, the photos of my parents, I stared at the sun suffocatingly , On the road from becoming Qiang Ju to becoming Ji Qiang, my parents and I have never met in this world. Does that soldier know me?Did that soldier know my parents?What if I'd rushed at him in spite of everything instead of turning around and walking away?What if?What if? !

I didn't say goodbye to Gao Lan, I couldn't bear to open Liu Rong's notes, Daniel and I didn't go home to see flowers together, my parents and I didn't meet under the sun of this world, everything and every past The details make me feel regretful at this moment for the rest of my life. I am so regretful that at this moment, the aliens are sending large-scale reinforcements to the eastern theater, and I am fighting against my compatriots.

"Executioner! Beast! Butcher! Bastard!"

I shot myself at this moment of the day and attempted suicide because of an enemy bullet.

On March [-], the death toll in the city was [-] in a single day.

I no longer remember what I lost.

The author says:

Sorry for taking so long to come back, I have something to tell you in the comment section.