typhoon transit

After the results came out, I was in a calm mood, very normal and ordinary scores, neither up nor down.Ah Jiang is a little lower than me, which is her extraordinary performance.When filling out the application form, she made an appointment with me to go to Hangzhou together.My dad's connections extend as far as there, and I probably won't go anywhere else.

After that, there were endless dinner parties. Before the score came out, the people who said they wanted to invite me to dinner had already lined up. They were all looking at my father's face.My dad has been busy making phone calls every day these days. It is the season of banning fishing, and there is no way to buy seafood in the vegetable market. Delivered to the hotel.

I was very uncomfortable being the only woman there.My brother likes this kind of scene so much. He has already reached the age where he can smoke at the dinner table like those middle-aged men. Kojima talked about building a resort, but it turned out to be an old story of picking stones and running away.And I drank the drink in front of me one after another until my body was almost like a balloon about to explode, and I was still thinking about love.

I've been drinking too much these days, and I sleep until noon every day, and there are dinners that don't end until eleven o'clock at night.I slept too much and felt dizzy every time I got up, and this state continued during my tryst with Chang Qiao.I can't go out usually, and I can only sneak out to look for Changqiao during the hour when my dad first goes to the restaurant to order food and greet the guests.I took her to see the vegetable market that had already started to be built. We looked side by side at all kinds of unnamed cars carrying some unnamed things there, and recalled what kind of building it used to be here. Finally we Neither of them came to a result.

After the plum blossoms, the sun is shining every day, and I finally remembered that I like summer.Here, there is no snow in winter, and the temperature does not drop below zero, so winter here is not like winter, and spring and autumn seem to not exist, and it passes in a few days.And summer is very long, it seems to last for nearly half a cycle, it rains all the time in June, it starts to clear up in July, August is the time when tourists are the most, the whole street is full of colorful swimming circles, I squatted in the ruins Next to a half-cracked wall, dust was flying behind me, thinking about spending the next summer with Chang Qiao.

"So what's going to happen next?" Chang Qiao likes to ask me this way.When I hold her hand and run wildly like fleeing on the deserted street, she will sprint in front of me like I am running a race, stand at the corner and bend down to look at me who is out of breath. After taking a breath, he patted my head and told me so.

To be honest, I can't answer her, I don't have any clear idea, I want to take her to various places, to experience those things that I missed for some reason, those things are illusory, I only feel that they are far away and beautiful, and the opportunities are at my fingertips.

So I would always jokingly say, "Let's elope."

She smiled at me too, and replied, "I like the plan."

From Chang Qiao's face at that time, I really felt some expectations from her, that kind of hopeful expression.I couldn't help holding her face and kissing her, she hurriedly pushed me away, warned me that I was still on the street, and then kissed me quickly on the forehead as if apologizing to me.

I've heard a theory that even when you're firmly convinced that love is ephemeral, when you love someone, you always inevitably think of eternity.I probably haven't reached this point yet, I'm just in my chaotic fantasies, excited about the possibilities of my future with Changqiao, I can't help myself, and I pray that some of them can be true.

Among them is the option of elopement, which is actually the first choice of the two of us.Because it's so cool, in the movies and novels I've seen, most of the people who elope end up dying or at least one, but we all temporarily ignore these things, but focus on In the elopement itself, like those cowboys and knights would do, those romantic devotees, the poison that Romeo drank at the foot of the cross, the poisoned wine with a smile, and after that greeted the great lovers It will not be parting and death, but eternity.

Ha, I suddenly thought of my brother, he still firmly believes that Xu Jiming and Chang Qiao are a perfect match, I have a weird sympathy for him, I don't think he is crazy anymore, I think he is just Made a mistake that is bound to be made by a person who is deeply in love.

Once I was reading with her at Chang Qiao’s house, and she read too fast, so I had to keep reminding her not to turn the pages so quickly.She refused to listen to me like a child, and I climbed over her body to grab the book in her hand.We were entangled with each other, from snatching books to hugging and kissing together at the end.I thought of what I heard A Jiang said before, people really can't control their hands not to touch each other when kissing. I used to call A Jiang a hooligan, but now I realize that she is really telling the truth.

Chang Qiao didn't care much about the fact that I reached into the hem of her dress to touch her waist, and focused on kissing me wholeheartedly.And my hands couldn't stop coming down, mainly because Changqiao has a particularly perfect hip line, I have always been curious about it, and wanted to study the muscle lines there with a scientific attitude.I caressed her buttocks through her jeans, I suddenly wanted to hear her gasp, so I deliberately increased the strength in my hand, I knew that I seemed to be a hooligan, but Chang Qiao released it cooperatively My lips, buried my face in my neck and panted lightly, and stuck out my tongue to lick my neck.I trembled, as if a bullet had passed through my chest.As soon as my head became hot, touching through the trousers could no longer satisfy my desire for scientific research, so I raised my body slightly to unbutton her trousers.

Chang Qiao immediately grabbed my hand and stared at me with wide eyes.

"Don't pass it, Jing He."

The tone of her speech should be very gentle, like the kind of elementary school mathematics teacher who kindly reminds the students who are doing arithmetic problems to make a low-level mistake, so swearing, so taken for granted.I let go of my sinful hand, and I am not disappointed, because I am hopeless.

During the few seconds we were silent, I snatched the book from her side and read on.But now I can't see Shakespeare at all, and my mind is full of Jay Chou.Both of them are very important to me. It is their works that define the two different dimensions of love in my heart.

Before them, the only thing I was religiously fanatical about was religion itself, and everyone here was like that, then I became crazy about the concept of love, and now I'm addicted to the beautiful afternoon in Changqiao's arms, I selfishly think that love It will only take effect in a physical environment. You must first hug someone before you can love someone. Otherwise, it is just an illusion created by a false image in your heart.

There was a time when my idle older brother became obsessed with astrophysics, certainly not for more than a week.I consider myself to be a different person from him, I have a firm heart and the courage to persevere.And when I try to use scientific concepts to solve the nature of love, I am actually doing the same thing as him, although I don't want to admit it, but it is true.What's more, I am now in such a complicated and unexplainable relationship with Chang Qiao, which makes me lose the enthusiasm to continue to explore, because I feel that I may not find the answer, or, even if I can find the answer, I still believe that. The answer will throw me off.

Because it is very simple, Chang Qiao will not love me.I don't really want to say that Chang Qiao doesn't love me, even if it is true, but this kind of expression is too decisive, too much emphasis on my failure.And the expression that she won't love me is a little more euphemistic, with such a taste of fate, which allows me to pass on my sadness a little bit.

My childhood was a silent black-and-white movie, nothing good to remember.I have been submissive and not allowed to fail.So I developed a mechanism for avoiding trauma, rehearsing all the worst outcomes in advance, so that when the real ending came, I would not be unprepared.So even if my guess about Chang Qiao is true and reliable, I can accept it, as long as she is by my side, everything is fine.

The phone in her room rang and she went to answer it.I lay in bed pretending to watch Shakespeare, but I was actually eavesdropping on her conversation.I don't know the reason, but I think she lowered her voice on purpose, I can't hear her words clearly, but it seems that she is very excited, and she can't help but sigh loudly, "Really?" "Great" "What's up there" or something like that.

The person on the other end of the phone must be Chang Qiao’s good friend, because they really chatted for a long, long time, so long that I didn’t want to eavesdrop, so they put Shakespeare on my face to block the sun. Let's go to sleep.

When Chang Qiao picked up the book on my face and kissed me awake, it was already past four o'clock. "Slacker, can you fall asleep just like this?" She stroked my hair and looked at me with bright eyes.I had just woken up from a sleep, completely oblivious to what had just happened, and instead of asking her about that "friend," I just stared into her eyes, her eyelashes almost transparent in the sunlight.

I just looked at her like that, didn't speak, didn't kiss her.She was uncomfortable being stared at by me, so she asked me: "Why are you looking at me like that?"

"do not know."

"Don't tell me?"

"Don't tell you."

I seemed to be flirting with her, and she was aroused by me, and she tapped me on the cheek. "When did it get so bad?"

"Ha, I can get worse."

When I said this, I had already reached for my coat. I looked at the time on the wall clock and had to run to my dad.I went over and kissed Chang Qiao on the lips, then turned and went downstairs, but she still insisted on seeing me off.

When I arrived at the gate of her small courtyard, I suddenly turned my head and said to her: "I may go to Hangzhou to study in the future."

I think she was probably taken aback by me.I was desperate to tell her something, but I didn't have any nice secrets, nice lies to keep the afternoon going.I could only repeat to her what I should have told her earlier.

"Well, that's good." She shrugged her shoulders and said calmly after a long silence.

"So, what's next?"

I smiled and asked her, in fact, I really want to know her answer.There seems to be a long distance between us, and I can't see her expression clearly.I know I'm selfish, and I've also thought about the romantic scene in which she travels across mountains and rivers to find me in a distant city. I know it's impossible, but if she can say it herself, even if it's a lie, I'm happy.

And I think I've made all the concessions I can, I'm not a bad person after all, I want to be the best for her, not to make her sad, not to make her sad, not to let her get into conflicts.So I don't ask her, do you love me or not, and what am I to you? I won't ask her that.I transfer the full power of our future into her hands, and I will do whatever she wants.

"It's nothing, just walk around, okay?" I don't know if it's my hallucination, I feel that Chang Qiao is wiping tears, "Tomorrow, the day after tomorrow, it will be like this, okay?" Urgent, I couldn't tell her more.

I heard her say behind me, "I don't think about anything else."

In retrospect, I actually liked Chang Qiao's answer that day, it wasn't cruel at all.When I extend the orientation of the problem to our respective safe distances, and compress the time scale to the short moment we have, I seem to be able to see eternity.Before the days to come and come, we are all fine, everything is fine, and nothing is going to be bad.But of course, I knew that she was using some kind of excuse to avoid saying goodbye to me.

That afternoon, we read [-] pages of Shakespeare, ate eight plums, sat by the window and enjoyed the cool breeze for a while, and listened to the joyful running of the garbage truck.It was a happy afternoon, everyone was jovial as the Faun in Mallarmé, and the childhood embarrassments we shared were no longer disturbing, and the new typhoon reported on the radio seemed so far away that it would never come.This afternoon, I think I took a class on saying goodbye, and I was still the undisciplined student.

I just came here, how do you teach me to say goodbye.It's too cruel to do so, but cruel things happen often.