living sacrifice

I'm sure that Sister Zhao didn't tell everyone the truth I said on the phone. I don't know what she said, but after half a year or even a year after I left, people still asked me why I left on WeChat. Sister Zhao didn't Tell people the truth.

You Yan asked me: "After I leave, what will Sister Zhao say about me?"

I said, "She kept asking me why you left."

You Yan sneered and said: "Zhao Moumou really doesn't know what kind of work she has done among us. I have already explained it clearly to her on the phone. How could she not know?"

I said, "She did ask me several times, asking if I had contacted you personally."

"She is very filthy in spirit." You Yan snorted.

Dirt, I think there must be some, because that time when I was in the church camp, I shared a room with Sister Zhao, and it was very unreasonable for her to act like that.As a church leader, even in private, she should live a Puritan-like life, but she didn't button her clothes properly when no one was around. Even if we are familiar with her, this is still inappropriate.

I knew that the Lord was testing me, and I thank the Lord for keeping me from the trials at that time.But when something like this happens, sin is already hidden.

Such a trial should come from the leaders of the church, which makes me feel unreasonable.

For a long time, I was very depraved, and I collected evidence of their crimes everywhere.I ask the Lord to forgive me. Once I wrote a long article on Zhihu to criticize them, using them as a representative to criticize the entire charismatic believers. Later, the Lord had mercy on me and reported that article through human hands. It didn't hurt anyone else.

I love them, but this love is out of sex, because I love me and even want to destroy their reputation, how low this kind of love is.

I have committed such a sin more than once, and it was like this before when I did not believe in the Lord.When I'm angry, I can be completely outspoken, and after the fact, I'll place the blame entirely on the other person.I will also pretend to be innocent in front of the third party, to deceive others for their sympathy.

Even if I can fool everyone, I can't fool God.For a period of time after that, I crazily forwarded the content of apologetics in my circle of friends, and my own inner self became very unclean. For a long time, the Lord ignored me at all.

The Lord saved me from sin, and I fell into the state of sin again. Although I was stumbled by others, how could I not have selfish desires?At that time, the enemy took the opportunity to accuse me, saying that I had committed the crime of blasphemy against the Holy Spirit, so that God would not hear me.I was in a panic, I was terrified that the Lord really didn't want me, I did sin because I was angry, and I gave room to the devil.

I'm such a filth, can't I do something good?

But on the other hand, even a filthy person like me can be saved, so why should those who are willing to repent be afraid to come before Him?He is the merciful Savior, the only Savior, the Lamb of God.

Cursed and crucified for my sins is the Lord.He loves me and I don't love him enough.

I have hurt his church, those who have been bought by his blood and who are as blessed as I am.Although I don’t know how many people are really saved, my behavior gave the enemy an excuse to deceive them. My harm was actually out of “good intentions” and out of not wanting them to fall into their mistakes.I really can't understand myself.

I told Mu Yun what happened in the church, and she told me: "It's troublesome for them to do this, but you can't persuade them. I wonder if you want to come to the cathedral with me to listen? Anyway, you have no place now You can go."

"I don't like churches."

"I didn't ask you to stay. I mean, I'll take a look when you're free. For example, we have a youth gathering on Wednesday. You can come. Why do you need to stay in a house church?"

The dispute between the house church and the church has a long history. At that time, there was no conflict with the people in the church, so of course I would choose the house church where I was baptized.

But now, I am very shaken. I have really gone to church many times, and I even hate why they didn’t teach me the truth. How come I haven’t repented after going so many times?

I gave in when I was vacillating. Anyway, I just went to see her. In addition, Mu Yun said that she was going to be baptized there. I wanted to see her being baptized by the way.

On the day I went, there were guides in the church to guide us into the venue. The seats inside were crowded with unfamiliar faces, and I was not used to it.

Under the call of the pastor, I said "Jesus loves you" to the people around me, and we hugged each other. For me, this is simply a large-scale death scene, but some people around me smiled.

Mu Yun was very excited. She said, "Great, the best pastor of our church is here today. I really like listening to him preach."

"Really?" I sat there, hoping for the best pastor of the church to preach.

It was about Zacchaeus repenting.I am familiar with this story.

The pastor said: "According to the traditions of Israel at that time, we can also see this tradition from the Old Testament, that is, a thief who stole something from others should pay four times the compensation. When Zacchaeus repented, he admitted that he was willing to pay four times the compensation. To those people, show that he sincerely confessed that he was stealing in the past, which is an expression of his repentance to the Lord."

I nodded, this is a very good knowledge point, I didn't know it before.

The pastor said: "How did Zacchaeus be seen by the Lord Jesus at that time? Have you noticed that the Bible says that Zacchaeus climbed on a tree, and the Lord Jesus saw him when he looked up. Brothers and sisters, let us pay attention. According to the records in the Bible here, you will find that Zacchaeus was seen by the Lord Jesus because he climbed on a tree. If we want to be seen by the Lord Jesus, we must also climb on a tree. Of course, I don’t mean to let everyone Climb up a tree and wait and do nothing else, I don't mean that. I mean we're going to try to be seen by the Lord Jesus."

The words almost made me jump up, and I looked around at the people around me, they were all nodding and smiling.

Why do you nod your head?Can't you hear the problem?

We are saved by the Lord Jesus not because of what we have done to be seen by the Lord, but because of the free grace of the Lord Himself. Salvation is free grace, and sanctification is also free grace. All we can do is humility, repentance, and repentance. Taking up the cross to follow the Lord, nothing is our own merit.Since it is the grace of the Lord, what does it have to do with how high Zacchaeus climbed?The only advantage Zacchaeus has is genuine repentance, so to speak.

Moreover, God reads people’s hearts and knows that Zacchaeus has truly repented from thousands of miles away. It can be said that the Lord Jesus came for him. How could he have to look up to see Zacchaeus?

I think this error is simply too basic.

I think that a Christian who has been saved by grace knows very well in his heart that his thoughts and thoughts will never escape God’s eyes, including his hidden transgressions. Making mistakes on such a basic issue shows that he has no such subjective experience at all, and his sermons are only learned through learning, not his own, and flaws are exposed as he speaks.

I can't stay here.

Moreover, on the day Mu Yun was baptized, I heard another pastor praying: "Lord, please protect them so that they can submit to your church and commit themselves to the church." The four "committed to the church" The words, used well, are helpful, and used poorly, are the poisonous knife of heretics. After experiencing the incident of Brother Sun, I dare not follow such teachings casually.

The houses here are big, the people here are very polite, the people here can say "Jesus loves you" to strangers, the people here have read theology and are "professionals", there is a grand choir here... …there's everything here, but there's one thing they don't have—they don't know God at all.

I left church and never wanted to go back.After that, I completely gave up going to cathedrals, but then we had another feast.

what to do?Where can I find a church that is purely of God?

For this matter, I prayed many times, and I also fasted and prayed.

Later, how did I find the current church?

The answer is too simple for atheists to understand: it was prepared and arranged for me by God himself.

Atheists must ask in their hearts: You believe in God, so you think it is arranged by God, but what we have to ask is what happened to you yourself.

Believe me, I know what you're thinking, but you really don't understand what I mean.Please understand it directly according to what I said, and don't go through your logic again.

This incident is also very strange.

For a while, I was obsessed with apologetics.

At that time, I met a person from Zhu Zhishan Church on the Internet, called Sister Cao.

I don’t quite remember where we met, but she actually told me later that she used to be a member of Zhu Zhishan Church, and she was there before Bread of Life Church had any contact with that church.

She knew Sister Zhao, Qian Junru, Brother Sun, You Yan and the others.

I was shocked when I heard this, but I was also very happy, because I found out that Sister Cao is a person who is willing to tell the truth. I finally had the opportunity to understand what happened in that church.

Sister Cao said to me, "Sister, with all due respect, the people in that church are basically unsaved. I also advise you to examine yourself carefully. Are you a born-again Christian?"

Of course I knew this matter was important, so she later apologized to me and said "I didn't mean any harm, I hope you can understand what I mean".

I replied to her: "I know what you mean, I will check it out."

Of course, if I don’t feel bad at all, I won’t. At that time, I just felt that this person suspected that I was not saved for no reason. false.What if I don't get hurt if I don't do it well?

I also asked Sister Zhao whether Qian Junru was a born-again Christian. Sister Zhao answered me: "The Bible says that as long as you confess with your mouth and believe in your heart, you are a born-again Christian." Lin Xiao, Indeed, many people have asked me whether Qian Junru has been reborn, and I think this matter should be believable.”

But I don’t agree with Sister Zhao’s statement, because according to the situation at the time, if you confess to believe in Jesus, you will be beheaded. Every Christian is at the risk of losing his head. How can it be as easy as it is said now?How do you know that some people just talk about it?How do you know what they think in their hearts?I think Sister Zhao's attitude towards this scripture is very casual.

I asked Sister Cao, "Do you know Sister Zhao?"

"Of course I know each other. We used to belong to the same church. What's the situation with them now? Sorry, I've been out of there for a long time, and I haven't heard any news about them."

"Sister Zhao has left Zhu Zhishan Church with some people."

"That's good. That's great. What Zhu Zhishan preached was a false way, and I suffered a lot. Sister, you must not listen to his 36 lessons. I have been hearing voices from the spirit world until now, but I think probably a lot of those voices are not from God."

I haven’t really been in touch with Lesson 36, but I have a very clear impression that someone in Sister Zhao’s church mentioned Lesson 36, and they mentioned it in a very adoring tone, which shows that some of them are listening.

In addition, I want to mention that Sister Cao was very confused when she first came into contact with me. Her words were not logical, and it was difficult for me to understand.If it is written according to her original words, readers will probably be confused. The dialogue here has been sorted out.