living sacrifice

The next day I couldn't hold back anymore. After I prayed, I called Sister Zhao and asked if she was free.

Sister Zhao said: "Lin Xiao, I heard yesterday that you went to find Qian Junru, but she didn't explain it to me on the phone, can you tell me what happened?"

Sister Zhao has a better attitude than Qian Junru, so it will be easier for me to speak.

I said to Sister Zhao: "First of all, let me say a word of conscience. Pastor Tang Chongrong shared in his sermon, and Pastor Zhong Matian also shared. They all said that you should not go to the podium without God's call. I don't have God's call. , and this time the Lord actually told me three times not to stand on the podium to give, I think His attitude is very obvious.”

Sister Zhao said: "If you don't have a calling, you can't preach. This is Tang Chongrong's teaching method, and Zhong Matian's teaching method."

I said: "The Bible also says, 'If you are not called, how can you preach?', and every pastor who is with God says this, and they all have the testimony of being called to preach."

Sister Zhao still objected: "These are just people's opinions. Lin Xiao, you don't need to be swayed by these people's opinions. God says that God will accept those who are willing to sacrifice."

At that time, my brain didn't react so quickly. I just felt that something was wrong, but I couldn't say it, which made me very uncomfortable.

Since I can't talk about her, I can only change the subject.

I said again: "I don't think Qian Junru is qualified to preach at all."

Ms. Zhao said: "It is true that other people in the church have reported this problem."

I said: "Qian Junru is not qualified to preach at all. To be honest, no one in our church has such qualifications to preach. We should pray hard instead of asking random people to speak on stage."

Sister Zhao said, "Lin Xiao, if you ask our small church according to the requirements of a big church, then we really don't have such a good pastor, but the Lord will also use these words that don't sound good to you to shepherd We, for example, you, haven't you been shepherded by Qian Junru before?"

I couldn’t refute it, she was good at debating, and I was not good at speaking, so she immediately changed my mind. If it weren’t for this, I wouldn’t have accepted the service of leading a small group or preaching before.But God does not look at how powerful sophistry is, but God looks at who understands the truth.

I know that no matter how bad people are, God can use them. For example, he used Wang Xuanhuan to make me repent, but it doesn’t mean that Wang Xuanhuan can become God’s representative.In the same way, God used Qian Junru’s sermon to make me repent, but it does not mean that Qian Junru is approved by God.

Aren’t there many such examples in the Bible?Even Saul was the king anointed by Jehovah, and Saul also led the people of Israel to victory, but wasn’t Saul abolished after he disobeyed God’s words?

Sister Zhao asked: "Is there any more?"

I said: "Also. I checked the background carefully. Our original mother church is the church you broke away from. The leader in it, Pastor Zhu Zhishan, studied under Li Che. That person is a heretic of the Mark Tower Church. And you Listen to Jiang Xiuqin, this person is very famous in Christianity, he is a heretic of the extreme charismatic sect, and is opposed by many pastors. In addition to the heresy of Xintiandi, which Youyan has been to before, we have gathered Mark Lou + extreme charisma + Xintiandi here, It's a melting pot of heresy."

Sister Zhao probably thought my words were too absurd, she smiled lightly, and then said: "Lin Xiao, I don't think you should read a lot of messy things on the Internet, these will disturb your thoughts."

"If I didn't read these, how could I know so many backgrounds? And I went to check these backgrounds because I found a lot of things wrong in the church. Let me say one more thing, the last time Big Brother Sun prayed for people I told that person that I believed in Jesus in order to get a good grade in college and to have a girlfriend.”

"Did Brother Sun really say that? Then what he said was wrong. But what was the environment at that time? Why did he say that?"

"I don't know that. I only know that Brother Sun said it like this, and Qian Junru is not qualified to preach. How about you, with all due respect, you like to put everyone in the most inappropriate position for them. I think This is not a holy church of God at all, it is like a stronghold of evil spirits!"

When the last words came out, I also regretted a little.I was wondering why I said this, whether it was too much, and I kind of wanted to take it back.

But Sister Zhao was stunned at this time, smiled, and asked me again: "What did you say? Do you think this is the camp of evil spirits, Lin Xiao?"

I know it takes a lot of courage to say this, and I know that I will definitely face the devil's attack, but I gritted my teeth and said, "Yes."

"It's absolutely impossible. I categorically deny your statement." Without thinking about it, she used two "categorical" on the phone.

"flatly"?

When King David was scolded for no reason by someone, he said, "Perhaps the Lord told him to scold me."

But I am not scolding her now. I have analyzed so many church issues with her, and I know that the last sentence is too much, but I did not expect her to give me a "categorical".

I know that Sister Zhao dared to be "categorical" because she had a vision at the time - an idea of ​​"planting a church".

I admit I dare not.This is God’s holy platform, not just a table, a PPT, or a person that we see with our eyes. If I preach the wrong way of God, these people will walk on the road of destruction because of what I said. , Then not only me, but also those who listened to the wrong way, their sins will all be charged on my head, how can I bear such a sin?

I have made up my mind to leave the path of sin, how dare I take the risk of taking this path?

Since Sister Zhao categorically rejected my statement, it proved that she herself has no calling. Otherwise, she should know that a preacher must have a calling before he can go to the podium.

Since she leads without a call, I cannot place the authority to be led in her hands.

I am in terrible pain, but I am determined to get out of here.

There is a reminder in my heart: be angry but don't sin, don't let the sun go down on your anger, and don't give room to the devil.

I thought to myself: I am not angry.

But I am really angry.

I thought to myself: How could I commit a crime out of anger?I think I'm calm.At that time, I did not admit that "the stronghold of evil spirits" was something I should not have said to her. I thought that Ms. Zhao's idea of ​​"on duty" probably came from evil spirits, but I did not have such evidence.I thought I hadn't sinned and given room to the devil, but then it turns out I did.

These are not the things I want to do in my heart, but I am doing them. It is really "it is up to me to aspire to do good, but it is not up to me to do it."

Sister Zhao reassured me on the phone, she said: "The foundation of our church is not built on that foundation. Don't we read the Apostles' Creed every time? We recognize the true God of the Trinity, Jesus Christ incarnate, all We all recognize the beliefs recognized by the Catholic Church. Lin Xiao, I can also consider other things you mentioned, but I can tell you categorically that this is impossible."

So what else can I say?

等我挂断电话的那一刻，我留心看了看时间，99：59：59，然后正好跳到100：00：00。

My phone call with Sister Zhao lasted 100 minutes.This made me very relieved, because I knew that the presence of the Lord was behind this incident, and He was checking our hearts, not only her, but mine as well.

I know that when I say that they are "the stronghold of evil spirits", I need a lot of courage at that moment; I also know that when I hang up the phone, the enemy will use the excuse to accuse me of "blasphemy against the Holy Spirit" .

Later it did.

In particular, Sister Zhao asked me, "Do you really think so? Do you really think that our place is a stronghold of evil spirits?" At that time, what I felt was extreme evil.She should have kept silent and thought about this great mistake, instead of taking what I said lightly and flatly rejecting what she thought was bad.

What will happen to this matter in the end, I am afraid that we will not have a conclusion until we all meet the Lord.

This is the biggest battle I have experienced since I was saved, and it is much more terrifying than the ghost press before.

Later, the enemy was always afraid of me, "blasphemy against the Holy Spirit will not be forgiven", which made me fearful and trembling.This incident made it impossible for me to come before the Lord and open my heart to the Lord for a long time, and it made me feel spiritually low for a long time.

I have made up my mind to leave.

However, when I was about to go to work on the third day, I suddenly received a call from Brother Sun. What to say, so even though I was very reluctant in my heart, I still took it.

"Lin Xiao, I know something happened to you recently, can you tell Brother Sun?"

It's a familiar recipe and a familiar attitude, I don't want to talk about it anymore.

I was a bit reluctant to speak, but I still said bluntly: "Brother Sun, do you remember that time? You prayed for someone's decision, and You Yan told me to go into the room too. Now that I think about it, the Lord told me to go. Then At that time, I heard you say to that person that you believe in Jesus to find a girlfriend and a good job, which is wrong."

Brother Sun's tone was very gentle, but his attitude was very firm: "Lin Xiao, I think what you said made sense. Brother Sun was weak at the time."

You fart!I scolded him like this in my heart, but after all, I was an acquaintance, so I couldn't open my face.

Then Brother Sun told me: "Lin Xiao, the brothers and sisters below are not allowed to attack the brothers and sisters above. The things you have done recently make Sister Zhao very weak."

What are "brothers and sisters below", what are "brethren and sisters above", and what is "attack"?Why do you not repent of your sins?

Brother Sun also said: "Young people should submit to the older ones."

Doesn't the Bible say, "Submit to one another"?

Brother Sun also said: "Team members must submit to the team leader, and the team leader must obey the church leader."

I later found out that these words came from a book written by Watchman Nee, but that book also had its background. Its background was that Watchman Nee was expelled from the church at that time, and he returned to the church a few years later and wanted to regain authority. Under the background, I wrote a book, telling the people below to submit to those in power above.

However, Brother Huang Jialei commented on this very pertinently. He said: Brother Watchman Nee helped me in many ways, but I cannot say that this book is very true, because there was such a background at the time, this book was very easy. It has become a tool used by those who want to control the authority of the church.

These are all later things. After I answered Brother Sun's phone call, I was completely fooled by what he said.I don't want to say a word.At the end when he said, "Call me again if you have any problems", my voice was choked up.

I put down the phone and cried a lot. I still don't understand why I cried.