living sacrifice

The Lord Jesus let me rent a house alone and leave home.Later in the second week, Wang Xuanhuan divorced me.

At that time, I couldn’t understand why the Lord Jesus allowed me to spend the 7 to [-] yuan to rent an apartment when he knew that Wang Xuanhuan would file for divorce.I think it's a shame to spend the money.

My parents also talked about this, and I also asked the brothers and sisters in the church, but no one could answer.Only one sister said: Because you are lazy, the Lord is training you to live independently.

I admit that I am lazy, but I don’t think this is the Lord’s intention. I think she thinks about the Lord too simply.

After listening to the sermon this time and understanding the mistakes of our church, I suddenly understood why I mainly rented here. In addition to dealing with laziness and making it easier for me to go to work during the epidemic, there is another most important thing, that is, I can have a In a very undisturbed environment, pray carefully for which church you will go to in the future.

Of course I know the importance of the church to Christians. No Christian would be willing to stay in a heretic church, and no heretic would admit that he is a heretic.I have no one to trust but the Lord.

At that time, Mu Yun was still in contact with me, and I told her everything I had experienced.

When I was talking, I remembered one more thing. I said to her: "I remember that once Qian Junru was chatting with others, and I was far away from them. I was not listening to her, but it was very strange. The scene seems to be captured by a camera, and the impression is very clear in my mind."

"That's strange. What did you hear?"

"I heard her say that she was practicing the set of exercises in the Bread of Life Church in Taipei. She said that by shutting herself in the room, playing soothing music, and closing the door, she could get closer to God."

Mu Yun said: "I think there is a problem with this?"

I'll be honest: "I wasn't listening to her at all, she was talking to someone else, but now I'm amazed that I can remember what she was saying without listening to her. Then I looked it up online , Many people said that there was something wrong with Jiang Xiuqin and this kind of drill."

"Emmm...it's hard to say." Mu Yun thought for a while and said, "To be honest, I did feel that there was a problem with your church for the first time, so I have been reluctant to stay, but you still said that the lamb can't run around. "

"Sister Zhao said so."

"They don't understand the spiritual world, so it's really dangerous to do this kind of exercise rashly. Then have you thought about what to do? Are you going to stay here again?"

"I don't know. I don't think they would listen to me if I told them the drill was wrong."

"They won't listen to you. In their eyes, you're just a lamb with no hair."

"But I don't think I can go away like this. I really don't know what to do. So, I'm going to fast and pray. The Bible says that you can fast and pray when you encounter some hard-to-drive demons. The Bible attaches great importance to fasting." Eat and pray, I think it must make sense."

"I happened to read an article about fasting and prayer. Would you like to read it too?"

"I don't think so."

To be honest, I am also a little wary of Mu Yun.Because at that time I found that she really likes to watch things like prophets, such as things about predicting the future and the spiritual world, and I instinctively felt that it was very dangerous.The things she saw other people doing were dangerous, but what she did was even worse than those people.

"That's fine. You'll know if you try it yourself."

"Do you want to come with me?"

"Me? Emmm... yes, when? How about fasting?"

"Just tomorrow. I'm going to fast for breakfast. We'll make a list and write down the details of what we need to pray for."

"Do you want to call Dong Yiyi together?"

I thought about it, and didn't really want to call her, so I asked her, "Why do you call me Dong Yiyi?"

Mu Yun said, "I don't know, I feel."

"Okay, then call her."

We made a list together.As for Dong Yiyi, she asked us to send her the list.We all fasted and prayed by ourselves at home.

That time of fasting and praying, although there was only one breakfast, but for me, who never misses a meal, such a change has been very big.

I cried bitterly before the Lord, and my heart was very painful. I don’t understand why I made such a choice, and I don’t understand why they don’t even understand such a superficial truth, and they want me, a newcomer to the church, to correct them Woolen cloth?I ask the Lord to open their ears so that they can hear. I ask the Lord to reveal the evil in the church.

Then, I asked one more thing, I said, "Lord, if this is really not the place for me, please take me to a church that You think is right for me. I don't ask for anything but I beg them to speak the truth, even if it is a very indifferent church, even if I am not valued at all there, I will never stay in this kind of church that doesn’t even understand the truth.”

The Lord is truly an answerer of prayer.

At that time, from the beginning to lunch, I spent it in prayer, and occasionally I was too hungry. I thought about the sentence that the Lord said, "Man does not live by food alone, but by the words that come out of the mouth of the Lord." Just be able to hold on.

I don't know what the meaning of fasting and prayer is, but I really hope that it can really have a very different effect.

I am sad.

At this time, I suddenly understood one thing - before You Yan quarreled with the whole church, I always thought she was possessed by a demon, but now I suddenly understand that she may have really discovered something.

I think it is necessary to exchange information with You Yan before I chat with Qian Junru.

I don't really believe in such things, because Youyan always gives me a very unreliable feeling, but this time the sun came out from the west?She actually saw it before me?

I haven't been in touch with her for a long time.

I only messaged her after this incident.I thought about it for a long time, but then I couldn't find anything to say, so I directly said what I found.

I'm waiting for You Yan's reply.

Later, she replied to me in the message: "Lin Xiao, thank the Lord, thank Him for allowing you to tell me this. Are you at home now?"

We haven't spoken for a long time, and when we met this time, we felt a little strange to each other.

When You Yan was arguing with the whole church, I once felt that there was an evil spirit on her body, because she looked very abnormal, and sister Zhao wrote that article again, I don’t understand, I thought she was really unclean, I didn't dare to get in touch with her much.

After You Yan came to my house, she prayed together first, and then she said, "Tell me about your situation."

I don't like to hide things in my heart. I think she is guarded against me, but I don't care.I told her what happened to "Balabara" before and after.

After You Yan finished listening, he said, "Thank the Lord. Lin Xiao, do you know that I have been praying for you? I left the church in November last year, and it has been almost half a year now. Do you know how I have spent the past six months? ? Now the Lord finally let you see, I am so happy!"

From the meaning of these words, it can be heard that You Yan has already discovered that there is something wrong with this church.

Astonished, I asked her, "What did you find?"

"Since you have opened up to me, I have also opened up to you." She told me, "Didn't Brother Liu leave the church before? Before he left, he asked Qian Junru whether the church's finances could be disclosed to him? Later, Qian Junru actually told him that 'ordinary believers are not qualified to interfere with finances'."

I got angry after hearing this, slapped the table and said, "How dare she do this?"

"Lin Xiao, don't get angry, look at your current appearance." You Yan said to me with a very gentle expression, "They really don't understand."

"Yes..." I sighed, "How could they do this? This is God's house!"

You Yan said again: "I think if you have a burden in your heart, you can have a good chat with Lu Jun and the others. You must know that Heavenly Father still loves them."

My people are still in this church, but my heart has left them.

I don't want to be in a place that is under the influence of evil spirits, it makes me feel sick.Especially when I think of that night, I was suddenly seduced by the evil spirit on Sister Zhao. I know that the Bible says, "Everyone is seduced by his own desires." , but even thinking about it makes me sick.I still don't understand why sister Zhao did that that day.

But I also know that Sister Zhao doesn't know. When I ask her, she must have her own reasons; and I have no way to tell her about these things, which makes me feel even more uncomfortable.

Sister Zhao really didn't know, she was still in Zhangluo Church on how to meet next.

I am really disgusted.

The online meeting that day was about chapter 11 of "Acts of the Apostles". We all know that I have been preparing for this chapter for a month. Of course, I shared many sermons that I have read.

After I finished speaking, Sister Zhao said in the group: "Listen, everyone, how good is Lin Xiao's speech? So I also encourage everyone to go back and prepare the sermons carefully, listen to others, and you will be able to speak."

I was not at all happy, although she was praising me, I was very sad.Because she doesn't know what preaching is.

I know I speak fluently, and anyone who prepares a chapter for a month like me is sure to be fluent as well.But I know it's not mine at all, I stole it from someone else.As Tang Chongrong said, "Some charismatic leaders steal sermons from others." I am not a leader yet, but I admit that I am stealing.

This place suffocates me.

Ever since I discovered their fundamental fallacy, my mind has been replaying the strange things that happened in the church at that time.

Including one time when Sister Zhao asked everyone how they were saved, they had all sorts of answers, but what they lacked was a testimony, and that testimony was the most important—the testimony of the forgiveness of sins.

It was Tang Chongrong again. He said in his sermon: "The Lord Jesus said that some people do not enter through the door, they enter through the force. They are thieves and robbers. The Lord Jesus is the door of the sheep. Repent and repent through the precious blood of the Lord. You can enter through the door. But some charismatic people are not like that.”

There are also several characters in "□□" who didn't enter through the door. Finally, when they reached the gate of the kingdom of heaven, they found that they had walked a long way without tickets.

Personally speaking, I love them because I have been in this church since I was saved. Even though I can’t hear the word of God, we have been together for a long time.I still hope that someone will listen a little bit, even if there is a little humility, and feel that they are really wrong.

After thinking for a long time, I finally summoned up the courage to call Qian Junru. On the phone, I asked her: "I'm very upset about something recently, and I want to communicate with you."

"Lin Xiao, you called me this time, which made me very puzzled. If you have anything to say, just tell me. May the Lord work among us."

"I think there are many problems in our church. First, I found that many of us are listening to Jiang Xiuqin's sermon on 'waiting for God', but this sermon has no source of the Bible at all, and this kind of waiting The method is very similar to the practice of pagan religions, specifically it should be called the 'visualization technique', which will cause people to unknowingly attract evil spirits..."

I waited here for a while, I was waiting for Qian Junru to reply, no matter what she replied, we can discuss it, but she just "hmm" for a while, and then smiled.

I had no choice but to bite the bullet and continue talking alone, because there was no one to talk to.

I said, "Secondly, I would like to ask you why you asked that brother to go to KTV to 'release', which is of course not found in the Bible, why did you do this, it is not in line with the truth of the Bible; thirdly, I heard Tang Chongrong say that those who preach must have the calling of God, but here, there is no one who has the calling of God. If this is the case, there should be no preaching at all. I was hindered by God for a week, and I will think about this problem carefully; the fourth..."

I think I couldn't hold back anymore. At that time, "Papa Papa" asked her a lot of questions, but I knew she was not listening carefully. Maybe she listened to a few at the beginning, and then there was no sound. I don't have much energy talking there by myself, so I just stop and wait for her to speak.

Seeing me stop, she thought for a while and said, "Lin Xiao, I didn't expect you to ask us so many questions at once. I'll think about how to reply you. First of all, I know about that brother singing KTV." Many people objected to my approach, but I saw that my brother was really released after singing KTV, so I think it is good to do so. Second, you said that your preaching was blocked by God, but in fact it was a discussion among several of us. , I think you may not be used to it, so I decided to give you more time to prepare well. Third..."

I know that what Qian Junru was talking about was her thoughts, her thoughts, but she didn't keep up with my rhythm at all. What I was talking about was the guidance of God seen from these environments, not human thoughts.

In the next few rounds, it was basically like this, I said mine, she said hers, they were not on the same channel at all, and she always had her own answer to any question I asked, of course, but no. There should be such an answer.

What I wanted was not her answer, but how God led her, but from beginning to end, I did not see God's leading.

She even asked me back at the end: "Lin Xiao, if someone says something, you don't want to say amen in your heart, do you want to say amen?"

I was confused by her, but I still blurted out the words: "Of course you can't say amen if you don't say amen in your heart."

Unexpectedly, Qian Junru actually answered me: "You are wrong, Lin Xiao, you don't want to say amen in your heart, but you want to say amen in your mouth, this is to get along well with people in the church."

She also said, "Lin Xiao, don't look at the environment or people, but only look at the Lord."

I thought the answer she gave me was extremely absurd. When I heard the last two sentences, I was very angry.

At that time, I faced her with the attitude of a church leader, because she was a leader in front of everyone, and she called herself that, but after we had a conversation, I realized that she was not qualified to lead the church at all.

This discovery surprised me. In the past, I only knew that Qian Junru was not good at preaching, but I didn’t expect that she also had problems with her moral character.I really don't know what she was thinking.

That call made me sad all day, even more than if I hadn't made that call.