living sacrifice

The only meaning these 100 million words brought to me was that it made me realize that this matter might not be what God pleased me to do. I have also said the reason, that is, I have a lot of impurities in my heart, and I have not handled my writing well. A relationship with the Lord, but at that time I didn't know the calling.

After completing the 100 million words, I asked myself this question again: "If the Lord really doesn't like me writing novels from now on, should I go against the Lord's order to write?"

For a person who really likes to write, it is really too difficult to make such a choice and submit, but because of my previous homosexual experience, I finally chose to submit.I know the consequences of going my own way.

I said, "Lord, Your ways are higher than my ways, and Your thoughts are higher than my thoughts. If Your will is for me to stop writing fiction, I won't write as hard as I want. I choose to obey. you."

This is the first time in my life that I still want to write in my heart, but I voluntarily give up writing novels.

For me, this incident is very difficult, but I think you may not understand it.

The catechumens class was over, I stopped writing novels, and I was suddenly "empty", seeing that everyone was busy, but I was idle, and I was so sad that I was dying.

Coupled with the fact that Sister Zhao called me to preach next to me all day long, I began to be slowly persuaded.

At that time, there was still a big confusion in my heart: "The Lord saved me so hard, why didn't he ask me to do what I am good at? Since I can no longer write novels, what else can I do to serve the Lord?"

I began to observe the service of others.I want to see what the Lord wants me to do.

At that time, there were not many people in the church, and there were several services: preaching, conducting Bible studies, singing hymns, and sounding.I tried the audio service, but I am not good at computers, and many things go wrong and I can't fix it, so I left it to Brother Liu.I know all about preaching and studying the Bible, but what is singing?

There is a sister in the church, let's call her Peony.

I don't like peony, this is probably the person I hated the most in the last church, but in fact, I don't have a big dislike, it's just relatively speaking.

My first conflict with Peony happened during my second week at church.At that time they did not add me to the church group.That day when I went to church as usual, Peony stood beside me and suddenly asked me, "Lin Xiao, did you learn the poems from last week?"

I was confused by the question. I thought it was the hymn I sang on Sunday last week, so I nodded stupidly.It was later discovered that what she was talking about was a new hymn she had posted in the group, which she was going to sing this Lord's Day.

I haven't even heard of it, how can I sing it?I haven't even joined a group, how do I know I need to learn these songs?No one even asked me, how did I know to join the group?

I didn't mean to lie and nod, I misunderstood, and I didn't have time to explain it, so I was forced to lie all of a sudden.When it came time to sing, I felt very uneasy because I didn't know how to sing these songs.

At this time, I found that Peony was standing beside me, she was holding my hand, very close to me.

At that time, I was a little annoyed, because I couldn't sing, and I couldn't sing because no one told me to learn it. Why didn't she care about me when she was posting poems, but she deliberately stayed so close to me when she was "handing in the paper" Woolen cloth?Are you here to spy on whether I have learned or not?

I have to say that I was a person who got angry easily, and I had just been saved at that time, so my temper was very violent, and anything would make me explode.

When it was over, I went to You Yan and said, "Where are these hymns posted? Where can I find out what songs are sung in church? How can I learn them?"

You Yan said: "It was posted in the group. I told Mudan to ask her to pull you into the group."

I don't know if You Yan talked about it or not, but the same thing happened again in the second week.At that time, I was not used to going to church, and I completely forgot about singing hymns. It wasn’t until I saw Peony again that I realized that she didn’t add me to the group.

I went directly to Mudan and said, "Sister Mudan, I haven't joined the group that sings poetry. I don't know what poetry you sing."

"Really? Didn't you join the group? Then I'll ask Dong Yiyi to add you." Mudan turned her head and looked at me meaningfully.

That's it, after three or four weeks in a row, I asked a few times and then I didn't bother to ask, Mudan just didn't add me to the group, and then I asked You Yan to send me a song and she stopped sending it.I was very angry, and I didn't bother to add any more groups, just post it as they like.On the contrary, they added me to the group later.

That's why I hated peonies back then.

How can this kind of service satisfy God by stumbling those who have just entered the church?

But at that time, this church was like this, and the whole service was chaotic.

Not only do they allow people to serve God according to their own will, but there is no correct teaching on the podium, and no one makes good comments. They also allow no believers to participate in "serving".A person who doesn’t believe in the Lord asked him to operate the church’s official account; another person who didn’t believe in the Lord called her playing hymns as “serving God”, ignoring her own negative expression…

They thought it was encouraging those people to participate more in church activities, but they didn't know that it was offending.

As for encouraging me to preach, Ms. Zhao has always strongly agreed with it, while other people in the church are all against it.In this matter, even Brother Sun disagreed with her.

However, I was kept in the dark. Except for Sister Zhao, no one came to communicate with me, told me that this matter was not allowed by the Bible, and warned me that this matter was wrong.

"The Bible" says: "A new believer should not be an overseer, lest he fall into the snare of the devil."

Every sentence of God's word is true, if you don't take it seriously, you will soon see color.