living sacrifice

If you think that I am the only one in the whole church who was forced to serve by Sister Zhao, then you are too naive.In addition to myself, there was a newly saved sister who was later assigned to the service of the group leader. I don’t know what happened to her later, and I had already left the church at that time.

From a human point of view, Sister Zhao is really good to us. She gave me her kitchen utensils when I was renting a house, and even drove me home; she doesn’t dislike the migrant workers in the church. Entrepreneurs sit and eat with them; if there is any problem in the whole church, she is a firefighter...

Because of this, we all trust her from the bottom of our hearts, and we trust her choices in everything, which has caused many serious problems in the church.

"Where is the church?"

In an adult Sunday school, Ms. Zhao gave us a special training like this.

"The church is the house of God and the place where the saved by grace gather on earth. The church will be raptured to heaven in the future and become the bride of Jesus Christ. Our church on earth is not perfect. No church is perfect, but In God's mind, the church is a church without blemish, and she is the unity of all saints."

I love this kind of church from the bottom of my heart, although I don’t know how the Lord Jesus will unite so many people of different languages, skin colors, personalities, and even different ages all over the world, and still retain everyone’s individuality. Features, etc., how to do such a thing, I really don't know, but I am looking forward to it.

Ms. Zhao said: "We need to establish core services first, and then radiate to the surrounding services, so that our church will gradually grow, and you will all be core co-workers by then."

Hearing the "core co-workers", I feel that everyone is very happy.

But I don't understand what kind of identity a "core co-worker" is, so this identity is worthless to me.What puzzled me most at the time was: Since Ms. Zhao said that God is the center of the church, how do we know the order in which God will build His church?What I mean is, although Sister Zhao's "cake" is pretty good, but God may not make it according to this "cake".

Sister Zhao repeatedly emphasized to us: "In our church, no one person can surpass God, and no one person can be the head. Our only head is the Lord Jesus. This is the reason for the problems in our last church, so we must learn a lesson. , let no one be the head of the church."

"agree!"

It is right that no one should be allowed to be the leader.But is this really the case?Did we do it?

Ms. Zhao is very popular, eloquent, and flexible. She is an entrepreneur herself, and she has the characteristics of an entrepreneur. It is very easy to gather people together. God's greatest threat.

Her own penis was a natural "head," and she had to understand that, but she didn't.

I must say that my service was forced by her, and my service was not called by God, but by Sister Zhao.That being the case, the service I did there, strictly speaking, did not "hold Christ the Head", and I was influenced by others.

I am not the only one like this, Qian Junru was first persuaded by Sister Zhao to stand on the podium, and every time she wanted to leave the podium, Sister Zhao would persuade her again.

Jiang Yiyi was also persuaded by Sister Zhao to go to the podium.In addition to Brother Sun, we had five preachers at the same time at the most, but there are only a dozen or so people in our church.

We all opposed Qian Junru's preaching, and even I "turned against" later, but Sister Zhao insisted on supporting Qian Junru to preach. She felt that this was "helping" Qian Junru not to lose heart.

Few people in our church like Peony's singing service. Although her singing voice is very beautiful, we can all see that she wants to show her own limelight there.Sister Zhao doesn't care about this.

All in all, as long as someone is willing, Sister Zhao is willing to support, regardless of whether this person is suitable or not.Her general idea is as she said, to expand the church as soon as possible and establish every position, so that after the chassis becomes bigger, our church can be divided into two churches, and the personnel will expand rapidly.

I really don’t know what God wants me to do, I really want to know God’s answer!How can I know what God is saying to me?

For new believers, they often have simple enthusiasm and sincerity towards the Lord, but in the matter of seeking God's will, they have great and insurmountable obstacles.How to seek the will of the living God who has no eyes and no ears to hear?

You Yan’s methods are always very simple, but her answer made me shudder. She said, “It’s very simple. You pray and ask the Lord for help. At this time, the Lord will answer you. This is the answer of the Lord.”

"But the Bible says not to believe in every spirit, but to test it. What if the devil is talking to me?"

"I don't know, Lin Xiao, when you pray, you must entrust your thoughts and thoughts to the Lord completely, so that after you finish praying, it will be the Lord who will answer you."

"Have you checked against biblical standards?"

"Lin Xiao, if you don't understand now, you will gradually understand."

You Yan didn't answer my question at all, but I was also very dissatisfied with the answer she gave me.

I asked Sister Zhao the same question, and Sister Zhao said, "Lin Xiao, you have to see if you feel unsafe in your heart. If you are unsafe, it is not the main thing for you to do."

"I'm not uneasy."

"That's good! The explanation is that the Lord wants you to preach. When are you going to start? I'm not urging you. If the Lord wants you to do it, he just wants to bless you. That's great."

I didn't pick up on it, but I felt that the criterion for judging whether it was safe or not was too arbitrary.Because the "Bible" does not say that if you feel peaceful after praying, it means that it is the Lord's will.And I think whether it was when I did evil in the past or when some people in the Bible did evil and resisted God, they didn’t feel uneasy in their hearts, or this uneasy feeling was easily suppressed.

At least for me at the time, this method always gave me two answers at the same time, and I couldn't tell which was the right answer.So how do I know?

During the meeting, I asked Brother Sun the same question, because I looked around the church, and there was really no one I could ask for advice.

Brother Sun listened carefully to my question. He pulled me back and said, "Actually, Sister Zhao asked you to preach at the beginning, but I didn't agree with it."

"is it?"

"Yes, I don't agree. I don't know what you think. But I obeyed later. I want you to exercise. It may not be a bad thing. Lin Xiao, you need to prepare in advance when preaching, mainly by reading the Bible. If there is a light in the process, record it."

I don’t know what the “light” he mentioned specifically refers to, but I think it is probably some scriptures that people understand from the Bible that they think are special.

"But I think I should at least read the Bible once. I think there is a connection between the scriptures before and after the Bible. If I don't read it, I don't know if I didn't see something and made a mistake. "

"Brother Sun can't give you advice on this matter, you have to pray and understand the Lord's leading."

"So, is there any good book you can recommend to me? Or, what else can help, because I really don't know where to start, and I feel completely empty inside."

"Hmm... how about it..." Brother Sun was interrupted by the sound of music in the middle of his sentence.

You Yan came to the party again this week, looking at her expression as if nothing happened.I know that Sister Zhao talked to her, but I don't know what they can talk about.

Under You Yan's suggestion, our church will add dancing to worship services from this week.I don't like dancing very much, and I can't remember the movements, but everyone is like this, and no one objected, so I had to obey.

"Come on, come together, Lin Xiao." When You Yan's "little train" came to my side, she desperately came to hold my hand.

But Brother Sun told her very seriously: "After the meeting. I have something to talk to Lin Xiao about."

Brother Sun's serious expression made You Yan choose to leave. She quickly found Mudan, took Mudan's hand, and took her behind her.Wherever they went, they would invite people to join the team, and soon the dance team became a long chain of greedy snakes.

The voice is very loud, Brother Sun has to raise his voice when he speaks, and I can't hear clearly.

Brother Sun covered one ear, tilted his mouth, and said to me: "Lin Xiao, first read the scriptures in the chapter that the church asked you to speak carefully, and then record it when there is light. This It’s a tiger’s head, and pork belly is needed. The pork belly is to break this scripture into pieces, preferably one, two, and three. Finally, there must be a sublimation at the end, which is how to apply this scripture to life.”

Brother Sun looked at "Little Train" after saying this, with a smile on the corner of his mouth.

I saw that he wanted to join the "Little Train", but I didn't understand it, so I quickly pulled his sleeve and said, "Brother Sun, can you explain it again? I still don't understand..."

"Lin Xiao, you don't need to be too nervous. If you really say something wrong, we will help you. Don't put too much pressure on yourself when you are on the stage for the first time. I will say it again. The beginning is that you need to read the scriptures carefully. , it’s best to make good use of this week’s time, and ask the Holy Spirit to help you find that sentence that is particularly helpful to you. Then discuss this sentence. At the end, it comes down to the application in life. Can you understand? What else is wrong? You can ask Brother Sun if you understand.”

"I think there are a lot of questions, and I don't know where to start. I think I still need to go back and think about it."

"It's okay, we often come here to meet up now, and you can ask me out alone if you need it."

"Okay, thank you, Brother Sun."

"thank God."

Brother Sun answered my question very seriously, but how can such an answer satisfy me?

He was talking about the format, but I later thought that what I felt in the sermon was not the external format, but something that I didn't have, and that was the real key.But since I don't have one, how can I know what it is?It's just a very vague feeling in my heart.

I was very anxious about this matter, and I really wanted to understand the will of the Lord.At this time, I suddenly thought of a person recommended to me by Brother Sun, his name was Zhong Matian.

I have read a good book of his before, and I still trust him more.Searching the Internet, he really wrote a book called "The Preacher and the Preacher".

"The preacher and the preacher"!The name is so attractive to me!That's the feeling in my heart, the preacher and the preacher.

When I saw the title of the book, I knew it instantly!The form of the preaching is not important, what matters is whether the preaching person is the right person.I have a guide in my heart, and this is the book I need.

I need this book, I need to have a good look at it.I need the clues left by my predecessors.

After reading that book, I was really hungry.The problem mentioned in the book is the same problem I encountered with Brother Sun: Preaching is not just about the form, but more about the anointing of the Holy Spirit.The key is who the Holy Spirit is with and who God calls to preach.

The difference between sermons with and without the anointing of the Holy Spirit is heaven and earth.

True preaching is not an ordinary thing, but a battle in the spiritual world to win the soul from the powers of darkness.

It is not just an ordinary "speech" as Brother Sun said.If it is a speech, the form is enough, but the preaching is different!

Zhong Martin mentioned Spurgeon's words in the book: If God has not called you to preach, escape this service as you escape the fire of hell; but if God calls you to preach, don't trample yourself to preach. Be an emperor.

There are also two words mentioned in the book as "calling".Zhong Martin said that if he is a preacher chosen by God, God will definitely call him, and he has God's commission in his heart.

If this is the case, then I must have no calling, because I myself know that I have no calling.But at that time, I didn’t know very well, how do people who are truly called by God know that they have a calling?Could it be that I have a calling, but I don’t know it, and this delays God’s work?

I really don't understand, praying before the Lord for this matter.But the Lord said nothing to me.

I shouldn’t have stood on the podium rashly, but when Sister Zhao found me, she said, “Brother Sun, tell me, have you asked him about preaching? Lin Xiao, I think next time our church will be speaking about the Acts of the Apostles.” Chapter 11 of "Biography", why don't you come and practice it? Maybe you will gradually understand God's leading when you get on stage."

I think there is probably no other way, they have already arranged for me, and it is very difficult for me to refuse.

As I was preparing the sermon, I was very angry.But he hesitated because he didn't know the Lord's will, so he had mixed feelings.

I just believed in the Lord, and even the words "Acts of the Apostles" are very unfamiliar to me. I don't know what this volume is about, let alone what the first 10 chapters are about. Ms. Zhao called this For me to preach, it is really a ridiculous thing.But she did it, and had no doubts that she was wrong.

We were all so overwhelmed by her firmness that we all ended up listening to her.

That time when Qian Junru gave chapter 10, I listened very carefully. I hoped that God could give me some clues through her so that I could continue her speech.

But Qian Junru’s sermons are the same as usual, they all talk about God’s love, testify to the changes God has brought to their family, and prove that their lives have changed for the better. Biography" doesn't matter.

Except for the first time I entered the church, I really heard God’s voice from Qian Junru, and I haven’t heard it again since.These are the contents of almost every sermon she preaches.

I didn't get a clue from her, but, as usual, I listened to her sermon with a smile on my face, in a state of great joy, difficulty concentrating, and a little drifting.

It's hard to describe that state.That is, my brain was basically offline, but my emotions were mobilized. After listening to everything, I didn't feel that I understood anything, but I was very happy in my heart, like drunk.

This time, I listened carefully to Qian Junru's sermon, but I didn't gain anything.

Thinking that it will be my turn in the next week makes me nervous, what should I do?All I can do is copy out sermons that have been delivered, and if I want to do better, memorize them.But I was very against this matter at the time. For an original author, this is plagiarism, and I can't get past this hurdle.

I was supposed to be the one who preached in the second week, but one day before that, Miss Zhao suddenly called me and said, "Lin Xiao, don't be too busy preparing, I want to give you a little more time. Let me tell you first, you can prepare for an extra week."

"Great!" I breathed a sigh of relief.

"Prepare well, it will be you next week. Come on." Sister Zhao comforted me.

For me, this week is an unusual time!I have an extra seven days!This is doubled!I think if these seven days are used well, it should be ready.

When Sister Zhao preached that time, I concentrated my attention because I was looking forward to learning something from her.

She is very natural and fluent in expression, movement, and language on stage. I am very envious of her ability, but I am very clear that I do not have this ability.Because Sister Zhao was originally an entrepreneur, it is said that she started a company before she believed in the Lord and made a lot of money.

For such a person, the so-called leadership is natural to her, and I can't learn it.If I could learn it earlier, how could I suffer so much from "not being able to speak"?