living sacrifice

Lectures are completely different from listening to lectures. You may think you understand everything when you are listening, but you may not be able to explain it when you are asked to speak.What's more, my life at that time was not crafted by God at all. I just poured out what I had heard to others. In the strict sense, it was not a lecture at all.

However, the Lord is still gracious to me, and I really don't know why.The Lord was with me throughout the process of preparing my sermon.

How do I know this?

What impressed me most was that there was a talk about confession and repentance. At that time, I thought there was nothing good to say about the subject of confession and repentance.Because I repented after confessing my sins, so for me there is only a difference between confessing and not confessing.

But that week, a gay friend who I usually don't contact with suddenly came to me.

She came to me, and I naturally preached the gospel to her. When I said that everyone is a sinner, she replied, "I confess."

At that time, I was really overjoyed, because I had never preached the gospel to get anyone to repent and be saved. I really needed this kind of experience, and I urgently said to her, "Then, are you willing to accept Jesus Christ as your Lord?"

"I don't want to," she said.

I was very sad at the time, and I asked her why.

She said: "I plead guilty, but I am not willing to repent. Because I have another her now, and my life is good now."

I was depressed to hear that, not because she thought she was doing well, but because she was still in her sin and didn't know that she would be judged in the future.I was frustrated that the little benefit in front of me covered her eyes, but why wasn't I like this before?I understand her very well, and I understand her future situation better, but I also know that I have nothing to advise her, and she will not listen.I understood so much for a while, but I couldn't change anything, which made me very frustrated.

However, for our evangelical friends, I feel like a wonderful example pops up right in front of me, and it's good for lectures.There are people who confess their sins but do not repent because they still enjoy the pleasures of sin.I could not have found a more fitting sermon than this one.

I still told that friend the gospel, but she didn't reply to my message after that, and she hasn't contacted me again until today.

Just because I met such a person, I know that there are people who confess their sins but are unwilling to repent.When I was speaking, I intentionally divided the sermon into two parts: confession and repentance.This will make it more clear.

Throughout the process of leading the catechumens, the Lord led us every week.

Looking back now, what is the reason for this matter?I cannot say that the service at that time was completely in line with God’s will, because in fact this service came from man, not from God’s will or God’s call.

However, my intention at the time was to take this opportunity to preach the gospel to these people, and the Lord said this: "Go and make disciples of all nations, and I will be with you until the end of the age." I think this is probably why the Lord was with me at that time.

Although the whole process of leading the catechumen was helped by the Lord, it still made me very tired.

I know that I have to remind myself all the time, don't think I know well because of preaching, don't like to teach people like this, I should teach myself more.But the sin in my heart was always around the corner, and it exhausted me.

From the outside, I was preparing to preach, but on the inside, I was struggling with my own sin, and it was consuming me too much.

After the last lecture, it was already three or four months later.

I felt that I had really confessed a very important errand, and I said to Sister Zhao, "Sister Zhao, the catechumens class is over today, and I will leave all these lambs to you."

When I said this, I really felt relieved and relieved from the bottom of my heart.

But Sister Zhao immediately rejected me: "That's not acceptable! You have to continue to take it down."

I was very angry at the time: "Why! I can't take it, I'm too tired and need to rest."

"You can rest for a while, and you can put them with me during this time. But Lin Xiao, you still have to come back and continue to lead them."

At that time, I was really angry. If it wasn't because I felt good towards Sister Zhao before, I would have lost my temper. Really, if You Yan had said these things to me, I would have lost my temper.

I couldn't change Sister Zhao's mind through words, she was very stubborn, so I complained to Mu Yun in private: "Anyway, I won't go, Sister Zhao won't go anyway."

"What about you?"

"Cold salad. Who cares if you like it, anyway, I won't make it, I'm exhausted."

"Hey, I wouldn't take such a job. I am a lamb myself, and I need to be shepherded. How can I have the ability to shepherd others?"

"It's too late to say this now, I'd better think about how to get rid of this hot potato."

"come on."

Sister Zhao, Dong Yiyi, and Qian Junru, in order to divide this group of people, specially divided into three groups, led by each of them, but I left the organization very irresponsibly because I didn't want to do it.

At this time, I have time to take a look at our church. I feel very strange. I think our church has no ability to digest this group of newcomers. So why did the Lord give us these people?

Several of our leaders are exhausted. This is not a normal state at all, but they are still holding on. Anyway, I can’t hold it anymore. I’ve been three or four months. I’m really tired. One day let go.

Didn't the Lord say, "My yoke is light"?Why don't I feel relieved at all? Is my method wrong, or is there some other reason?But I think Sister Zhao and the others are not taking it lightly.

So I thought, we must be doing something wrong, but I didn't know what was wrong at the time.

Sister Zhao was taking care of the lambs, which was exhausting enough, but she was still not idle and wanted to chat with me.She told me: "Lin Xiao, please pray carefully and think about the preaching. Now that your service is over, you can pray quietly."

"Sister Zhao, I'm really tired, let's talk about it later."

"I didn't ask you to do anything in a hurry. I just asked you to pray first. Don't worry. Lin Xiao, I didn't put pressure on you. Don't worry."

"Let's talk about it later, I have no such plan for the time being."

"Okay, let's talk about it next time."

Yes, there will definitely be a next time. Sister Zhao will bring up this issue every time, and I really don't get tired of it.I feel that I already have enough jobs in my work unit, but why do I still encounter such moral kidnapping when I come to the church?If it weren't for the Lord's sake, I'd be so sick of things like this, I thought, wouldn't the Bible say, "Do not rule over the flock"?Why don't you do it?

What made me even more angry was that after a while, Sister Zhao continued to lobby me, and her tone of voice seemed to be that of You Yan: "Lin Xiao, one cannot leave the church alone. It is said in the Bible that one cannot stop Party. Now you only attend the Sunday party, but not the weekday party. We have recorded you for more than half a year."

I really doubted my ears, I asked her: "What are you?"

"We have recorded all your absences. You have not attended the Bible study group for half a year."

I was outraged to hear that they were recording my attendance.I felt like I was being watched, and they were not qualified to watch me.

I said bluntly: "I won't come, I won't come today, and I won't come in the future, so don't call me anymore. Also, I've checked the 'don't stop the party', it's not what you said That matter! Don’t bother me with this matter in the future!”

I've never been so angry with Sister Zhao, but at that time I felt that I would feel refreshed when the anger was over.I really couldn’t believe that they registered my whereabouts like a criminal. What right did they have to arbitrarily decide that I was “absent” if I didn’t go to the Bible study?

After calming down, I thought of a question, so I asked You Yan: "Did Sister Zhao tell you to tell me 'don't stop the party' last time?"

"What's the matter? Why do you ask this? She said it."

really!I was very angry when I heard You Yan's answer.Sister Zhao didn't come to tell me herself, she actually called You Yan to persuade me, but I thought it was You Yan's idea, and scolded her like hell.

But what surprised me was that You Yan calmed down at this moment, and she said, "Pray for you."

I was still on fire, and when I heard this, I thought she was mocking me, so I didn't talk to her again.

At that time, You Yan and the whole church were at odds with each other, and because of the article Sister Zhao gave me, I suspected that You Yan had a "controlling spirit".

But this time, I caught the "culprit". It turned out that the person who caused me to quarrel with You Yan last time was actually Sister Zhao, who ordered You Yan to do this.I don't like her doing this very much, but I have to admit that, out of human thinking, she has good intentions.