living sacrifice

I don't know why, but there's always a thought in my mind that I really don't want to admit it doesn't seem like mine, but he keeps telling me: you'll regret it, don't do it.

"I won't regret it, I have decided!" I cheered myself up.I think my luck has always been very good, and I can turn bad luck into good luck every time, and this time it must be the same.

Before getting the marriage certificate, I didn't know how to write the Huan character in the name of my marriage partner. At that time, I had to fill out a form in front of the witnesses. I couldn't write the name right away, so I blurted it out with consecutive characters.Because I didn't know a lot of his personal information, and I made two mistakes. At the request of the witness, I pressed two more fingerprints than him.

Wang Xuanhuan, when he wrote his name on the form, I took a second look, thinking that the word Huan was really difficult to write.

"Don't be nervous, they will give you a simple makeup in a while, and then take a photo together."

It was just a 300 yuan passport photo. I didn't think too much about it, but I didn't know that God had already raised his whip at this time, ready to beat me.

For photo shoots, I took off my glasses and sat there waiting for someone to do my makeup.They put on light makeup for me, and I saw Wang Xuanhuan sitting beside me and watching me.

"Why don't you usually wear makeup?" he asked me.

"I'm too lazy to do it."

"At least you should get your eyebrows done, it'll look good. Don't move, the lipstick is a little bit out."

He reaches for lipstick for me.

I feel a little embarrassed. In fact, I have been in love twice before, and they basically broke up without holding hands. I am not used to a man being so close to me.

"Let's get the certificate on Qixi Festival." He said.

"Won't there be a lot of people on Qixi Festival? Let's change the time."

"The Qixi Festival is very commemorative."

I thought to myself, what else do we two commemorate?Could it be possible to act in a wedding anniversary scene?I said, "But it's very difficult for me to ask for leave. It's not easy to ask for leave usually, and this day is the busiest time. I guess the leader won't let me ask for leave."

"How can there be a leader who doesn't let people ask for leave to get married? You go to the leader to ask for leave, and he will definitely approve it. That's the deal."

After saying this back and forth several times, I felt a little uncomfortable, and I didn't want to get married at that time.But seeing his happy face, he didn't want to say anything more, and I didn't want to start a fight.

It's a death, anyway, I will be free after I get the certificate, and my mother will no longer force marriage every day. I have made it clear to her that I will not have children, and they will have nothing to do in the future.

"I want to ask you again, do you really not consider having a child?" Wang Xuanhuan asked again suddenly.

"Aren't the two of us asking for trouble for having children? I thought we had already discussed this issue."

"I still want to have children. If you change your mind, I think it will save a lot of trouble, otherwise I will have to go abroad to spend money. Okay, it's okay, I'm just asking."

Now that we have come to this point, the next series of operations will be a matter of course. After receiving the certificate, his partner invited us to a meal, but at the dinner table, I think his partner's behavior is quite strange.

It's not the first time we've met, we're familiar with each other.But this time they met, his partner watched him closely, as if he was about to fly away with his wings.Moreover, I don't know why this meal is a treat for him, what is the significance of this meal?

At the dinner table, we discussed our next plans.

"For Chinese New Year, you go to my place. I have prepared all the banquets. Then you can buy your dress and come over. Are your parents coming?"

"Should come. They don't trust me."

"That's okay. According to our rules, the bride's parents are not allowed to follow, but I think you are from other places, so you don't have to be so particular about it. It's okay, don't be nervous, just come when the time comes. Our side treats the bride very well." Well, just sit down, but the groom will be very tired."

His partner suddenly interjected, "We'll get to know each other a little bit later, and we can get in touch with each other more, like eating or something."

"We'll talk about the future, aren't we talking about marriage now?" Wang Xuanhuan was a little unhappy.

"Go, go, go."

I always feel that Wang Xuanhuan's partner is like a little daughter-in-law. Although she is tall and big, she is feminine.But their appearance is very weird. Wang Xuanhuan's partner looks ten years older than him, and has wrinkles around his eyes. As for Wang Xuanhuan, he looks very energetic and doesn't look too girly. He looks like a very sunny boy. It looks normal.These two people don't look like a match at all.

When I thought about putting the plan into practice, I suddenly lost the "bravery" I had before, especially on the day of receiving the certificate. I really felt an unprecedented reproach.Later, I kept resisting, and I stopped talking about that thought.

On the plane to Wang Xuanhuan's house, I was very nervous.In the bag is the wedding dress I put together on Double Eleven. Unlike other brides, everyone else is dressed beautifully, but I am only worried about the next thing about renting an apartment.

I don't know why Wang Xuanhuan is so happy. He has been chatting with my dad next to my dad. I am a little worried that he is too happy to accidentally tell my dad something that shouldn't be said.I also told my father that Wang Xuanhuan lost his father since he was a child, and he grew up in a single-parent family.My dad cared about him very much and gave him the same love as a father.

It's really cold in the north.

A basin of water left outside at night turned into a "crystal basin bottom" in the morning; the air conditioner couldn't turn up the temperature all night, the quilt was hard, and smelled musty; the feet were frozen hard in the shoes...

This is a very unfamiliar environment. There are harvested wheat fields everywhere. Looking down from the windows on the second floor, everything is empty.The countryside in my hometown is a water town in the south of the Yangtze River, where there are rice and fish, but here, there is really nothing, even the small river is dry and dirty, full of white dust from the nearby glass factory.During the day, when the wind blows, the dust can fly for several kilometers, and everyone's face and forehead are covered with white sand.The people here are dark and strong, and I can't understand a word of their accent.The relatives of his family that Wang Xuanhuan introduced to me, I soon couldn't figure out which one was the aunt and which one was the fourth master.

My only hobby over there is to listen to his grandfather play the erhu and sing folk songs. His grandfather is very happy because of his marriage. Maybe it is because there is no one at home all year round. This time so many guests come to the door, his grandfather keeps calling Let us sing to us.

"Okay, no one wants to hear you sing!" His grandma was small, only a little higher than my chest, and slapped grandpa's arm vigorously.

But his grandfather said "tsk" and said: "You don't understand! I'm happy today, and I will perform for everyone. Do you want to listen to me sing or listen to me tell stories? My stories are very good!"

"Grandpa sings well too." My dad smiled.

"Okay, then grandpa will sing for you."

"There! You old man!"

"Grandpa doesn't need to sing. Grandpa can also perform kowtow. You are from the south, and you have never seen how our local people kowtow. Here, there are many rules for kowtow. Every year, we have to kowtow to our ancestors 72 times. Your grandpa Kowtowing is a good hand. They all say that I kowtow well. 72 ringing heads, none of them are ambiguous. After two or three hours, my waist is not bent, and my legs are not weak. Look, I will perform one for you... "

"Alright, alright!"

This family is very simple. When I see them, I think of the family in my hometown, Jiangnan Water Town.The folk customs on both sides are different, the north has the roughness of the north, and the south has the beauty of the south, but they have one thing in common, that is, their hearts are simple, not as dirty as the people in the city.

But obviously I underestimated the fighting power of the devil.Soon I heard that there is a custom in rural areas where they get divorced if they fail to have children within a year of marriage, and they don't take premarital sex seriously.I even saw a man in his 50s and [-]s put on bridal makeup at the bridal make-up place. It is said that he married after his husband, and his children are all in their teens.

His mother likes me very much. Although this rural woman is silent, she has been busy with us.I am not used to having a "mother-in-law", but I like such a simple and honest rural woman from the bottom of my heart. I can see that she has experienced a lot of things, and she does not "know nothing" like her son said .

"We sleep on the first floor, and you sleep on the second floor. Tonight Xiaohuan is entertaining guests, and it will be very late when you get back. You go to bed first, so you don't have to wait for us." His mother also spoke with a strong accent.

There are only two rooms on the second floor, the small room is for my younger brother, and the big room is our wedding room, with only one bed in it.They have arranged it long ago, and I don't even have a second choice to sleep in the same bed with Wang Xuanhuan tonight.

Looking at the newly decorated new house, my heart suddenly felt empty.I tried my best to cheer myself up. I thought that after the ceremony was over, I could go back to S City, move out to live alone, and do whatever I wanted without anyone scolding me.I can have my own bank deposits, and I don't have to look at my parents' face to spend money anymore.I thought of all the good things, but I couldn't express the sadness and sadness in my heart.

I got into the quilt, thinking of lying in the same bed with a strange man, I pretended to be calm, but there was an indescribable feeling in my heart.Hope nothing happens.

It's really cold in the north.

I felt a hard thing under the pillow, and opened the pillow to see that there were red dates, peanuts, longan, and lotus seeds underneath.

"Why are you still awake?" The sudden voice startled me.

Turning around and seeing Wang Xuanhuan, I shrank into the quilt subconsciously, and asked him, "Why do you put food in the quilt?"

He glanced at the things in my hand and smiled, and asked me, "Do you know what these are?"

"Longan, red dates, peanuts, lotus seeds."

"It should be red dates, peanuts, longan, lotus seeds."

"What's the difference?"

"Connect them and read."

"Red dates, peanuts, longan, lotus seeds?"

"Jujube, raw, osmanthus, and seeds."

After listening to what he said, I thought about it for a long time, and then I couldn't help but rolled my eyes.

He grinned, revealing a dimple: "People here are like this, they like to pay attention to these things. By the way, they will give you dumplings tomorrow, but they are raw. They will ask if you are alive, how do you answer? "

"what?"

"You want to say life."

I see, it's another homophonic stalk.After I understand the homonym, I feel very uncomfortable in my heart. I don't like others pointing at me about things that are not going to happen, especially this kind of homonym.

"Go to bed early, I'm going to be back very late. My sister and the others are here today, and I won't sleep tonight. You don't have to wait for me. I'll get up early tomorrow morning. I'm very busy."

"Oh, good night then."

"Good night."

The lights are off.It's been a long time since I said goodnight to anyone.Even the word "good night" can make my thoughts surge.That night, the more question I thought about was: what should I do in the future?Still looking for a girlfriend?But the previous relationship made me hurt, I don't want to fall in love anymore, I really feel that I can't fall in love anymore.How can there be someone like me who has no interest in love in the world?Am I going to die alone?

When I woke up in the morning, the balloons hanging on the roof made me stunned for a long time, and then I remembered that I was not at my home, but in the Great North.On my face, there was a deflated balloon that exploded and fell off last night. It seemed that the air conditioner was too hot and it was blown up unevenly.

"Are you awake?" Wang Xuanhuan asked me.

"Hmm." I was a little embarrassed.Who gets up first becomes a thorny question.

"It's still early, it's only six o'clock." He looked at his phone.

"It's so early." I sighed, I still hoped that he would get dressed first, he was the one who was so embarrassed.

"A lot has changed here. I haven't been back for a long time." He looked at the ceiling and sighed.

"Oh." I answered while swiping my phone.

"Are you really not thinking about having a baby?"

"Don't think about it." I looked at him vigilantly, for fear that he would go back on his word.

"Actually, I really like children. My father passed away very early. I always wanted a child. I wanted to be a good father who could bring happiness to my children."

"Then you can adopt it."

"Adoption is different, it's not my own child. But don't worry, I'll figure it out myself."

"What's the arrangement for today?" I seem to be a competent actor, and I also want to be a competent actor, even though my body and mind are very tired now, and I don't even have the energy to carefully correct his words.

"I'm going to climb the mountain today."

"Oh."

After saying this, he started swiping his phone.Then I had to swipe my phone.

Until his mother knocked on the door suddenly at 07:30: "Huan, are you two up? Have breakfast."

In fact, neither of us really did anything, but other people don't think so.When I was waiting for breakfast, I was scolded.My mother said to me: "Why don't you get up early in the morning and ask your mother-in-law to call you, how embarrassing! Set an alarm clock tomorrow, don't make a noise that the whole family listens to."

So what can I say?I can only say nothing.

The mountains here really surprised me. The car arrived after turning over a small flat slope. After passing the parking lot, you can see the top of the mountain without going up far. Tickets are also charged.The surroundings of the mountain were as bare as the house they lived in, without even green plants.Even my dad couldn't bear it, and whispered: "I don't want to come to this place again, it's uncomfortable to stay for three days. No wonder young people don't want to stay here."

Such a mountain is still very popular, and the foot of the mountain is full of stalls, selling rings, throwing balls, archery, selling small toys, and selling cotton candy... His two younger sisters ran to buy sweet potatoes and handed them to me one.

"no, I'm fine."

"Sister-in-law, you're welcome." After hearing someone call me sister-in-law, I felt ten years older.

The whole family walked very slowly, and somehow the two of us were pushed to the front.Women are more thoughtful, he may not care, but I care what other people are doing.

I was leaning against him, and I was also struggling: Think about it, they are both married, and the two of them don't hold hands, and there is no interaction at all. Don't others doubt it?

So I summoned up my courage and went and took his hand—I just wanted to play the trick a little better.

But he stared at me with a surprised look.

I don't know if my palms are sweating or his hands are sweating, I just feel that our hands are wet.

Probably because he got close, he started chatting with me.Originally, his personality was more outgoing, which was different from mine. He told me: "Don't look at the gentle mountain here, but the mountain that my mother will take you to climb is quite high. Everyone who comes to our mountain always has to Go there to take pictures, and after passing the mountain, you will reach the SD land boundary."

"Is it hard to climb?"

"By the way, you are afraid of heights! That may be very difficult for you. It's okay, I'm here." I don't know why, these words are very comforting to me.

His hands are big and warm, unlike mine, which are clammy and clammy.

Along the way, he seemed to open up a chatterbox: "At first, my family had a peach orchard, but now it is gone. When we were young, we would go to the vigil when the peaches were ripe. That day it was my turn, and I was dozing off when I heard a voice in the woods. I While shouting and chasing, the thief ran away and threw all the peaches on the ground."

"How old are you? Aren't you afraid of being alone?"

"Why are you not afraid? They are adults and I am a child, but I give myself courage. In fact, my dad really doted on me and never scolded me when I was young. I was also good when I was young, and I often took No. Dad died."

"Ah..." I have never heard him talk about his father in detail, and I think this must be a stab in his heart.

"People in the village were worried that my father's death would affect my studies. They kept it from me, and my father kept it from me. Later, I didn't see my father for the last time because of the college entrance examination. I still regret it... Forget it, So as not to affect your mood... Actually, I am quite envious of you people from S City, I have done all your exam papers, it is much easier than ours. You can enter a first-class university with only [-] points in the college entrance examination."

This made me unconvinced, and I said: "The total scores are different, okay?"

"Your exam papers are very simple. I bet your senior year of high school must be very easy, unlike ours, which was so hard back then."

I was aroused by him to be competitive, and I deliberately said: "I am me, they are them, they are not as relaxed as me, and I am not representative. Besides, if I didn't fail the exam, I wouldn't be able to enter this school." .”

"Hey! That's pretty awesome! University C, is it ranked in the top three in City S? But if you come to our place, you won't be able to do it. The competition here is fierce."

"That's not necessarily the case. Since I was a child, I've heard people say how good boys are in high school, so didn't I still be in the top three of the class every time until the third year of high school? We are a key middle school."

"After all, the test papers in S City are simple. How is it like ours? Our school is the number one school in the province. At that time, I got up before five o'clock every morning to memorize English. At that time, I worked harder than others, just to leave this place. We At that time, I slept in a dormitory with eight people. Sometimes I couldn’t turn on the lights when I got up too early. I was afraid of disturbing my classmates, so I went outside to endorse under the street lights. It was the same in winter. You don’t know how much effort I put in to get to S City! At least in this regard, you are still very happy, you were born in a big city since you were a child."

"I still like the countryside. If I were in the countryside, I would not leave the countryside and not come to the big cities to suffer. Unfortunately, I was born in the city, and my family is also in the city. No one agrees with me to leave the city. In fact, what is there in the countryside? Not good? Life is easy and house prices are cheap.”

"House prices are very cheap, but there are few opportunities. But I think you are also very good. As a girl, you can be admitted to a school like University C, and you have also learned two foreign languages ​​and two majors. Why didn't you Have you ever thought about consecutive master's and doctoral studies? People like you who love to learn should continue their studies."

I shook my head: "Actually, I don't like studying at all. I prefer literature and art. I felt very painful in C University, and it was the same in the bank later. In the end, I really felt that fate was calling me, and I left Bank, proofreading."

"I envy you a lot, you know what you want to do, and you can do whatever you want. I started traveling when I was in college, then I was a tour guide, and then I was still in the tourism industry. I have traveled almost all over the world. But I still have a question in my mind. Tell me, what is the purpose of traveling?"

Wang Xuanhuan's puzzled expression did not seem to be faked.Looking at his puzzled eyes, I laughed "puchi": "You have traveled so many places, but you don't know why you went there? Then why are you still working hard to make money, and spend money to travel?"

"That's right."

"Besides, didn't you also choose the industry you like?" I smiled.

Wang Xuanhuan’s question reminded me of Zuo Anran. She also asked me “what is the purpose of life” before, and now Wang Xuanhuan asked me “what is the purpose of traveling”.These two people confuse me, because according to the social image, they belong to the kind of people who are more dazzling.Don't they even know what they are living for?Then why are they working so hard?

We climbed to the highest peak and had a family photo.I remember that when the two families supported each other and climbed down from the mountain, the feeling of joy and harmony made my heart very warm.

On the day of the wedding, I was wearing a red wedding dress.Because I was too nervous, my whole mind went blank.I almost forgot how to pick up the relatives, what process went through, how to toast to relatives, how to kowtow.

But I remember the astonishment in his eyes when he saw me in a classic dress.The kids surrounded me and kept calling me "Auntie".The old people asked me if I was Suzhou embroidery, and asked me how much the clothes were worth.

There was also an old woman standing behind me, holding up the hem of her skirt, and putting it under the light to dance carefully, she touched it and said, "It's so beautiful, it's so beautiful. Now people wear white when they get married, and our bright red clothes are the best." Looks good. Look at the gold trim, look at the embroidered patterns, how beautiful! Brides, this dress must be expensive, right? You people in the city must buy very expensive clothes, compared to the white wedding dresses in our countryside Is it more expensive?"

I was not too embarrassed, and said honestly: "I bought it on Double Eleven, and the discount was more than 100, and it was less than [-]."

My aunt listened to it twice, then she choked up. After a while, she put down my back and said, "It looks good."

Wang Xuanhuan stood beside me.

The clothes on the two of us didn't match at all. I bought mine and he bought his without any discussion.He wore a tailored suit and was very personable.I'm wearing a classic dress with jingle bells.I suddenly felt like this, and there is nothing wrong with it.

"Are you cold?" Wang Xuanhuan asked me.

I smiled and said, "I'm okay. I bought it because I liked the thickness of the Chinese dress. Are you stupid? Is it cold to wear a suit?"

"You're still smart. But I'm in good health! I'm not cold."

I do not believe.

"It's not cold! Don't you believe it?"

It was getting late and it was too cold outside, the relatives didn't even have the mood to stay in the bridal chamber, and all went home one by one.I also hope that they all go back soon and don't leave any entanglements.

Several children walked around me all day, making me dizzy.The youngest set off fireworks under the supervision of his dad.

When the fireworks exploded in the sky, my teeth were chattering.At this time, suddenly there were two hands protecting me, which made me feel warm instantly.I didn't bother with Wang Xuanhuan's various weird behaviors today either, I thought to myself that he must be cold and use me to keep warm.