unconfessed love

After the National Day holiday, the temperature suddenly dropped rapidly due to an autumn rain.After three days of rainy days, long-sleeved shirts and jackets are on the stage.It seemed that in order to match the cool weather, the time passed so quickly that it was so fast that one day passed without He Yan appearing in front of Liu Yuxian twice.

Liu Yuxian suppressed the painful emotions in her heart and lived day by day.She doesn't think about the reason for the pain, she doesn't want to think about it, she just thinks that as long as she doesn't think about it, it shouldn't be so uncomfortable.But the fact seems to be not what she expected, and it's not that if you don't think about it, you won't be in pain.A week has passed like this, and she seems to have faintly discovered that the reason why she is getting more and more uncomfortable is because she only wants to cover up the problem and dare not face it.

Every time she sees a sweet couple passing in front of her, she will masochistically think of He Yan and her handsome boyfriend.And as soon as he thought of the picture of the two of them together, Liu Yuxian's heart immediately felt like a cramping pain.She told herself not to pay attention to He Yan, and not to turn her eyes around her like a shadow lamp as soon as she saw her figure.He Yan is not a person who likes to get close to others. If he unilaterally keeps a distance from her, the two of them should easily become estranged.Thinking of this, Liu Yuxian's heart tightened again.She didn't take the initiative to alienate He Yan, she was forced, and it was herself who forced her.

Get up early and return late, except for class time, almost everything else is spent in the library.After persisting in this way for a while, Liu Yuxian found that, as she had expected, she had little chance to get in touch with He Yan—it would be more accurate to say that she had no chance at all.

When the feeling of loneliness crept into her heart, Liu Yuxian had no choice but to say to herself in her heart, it's nothing, isn't this exactly what I thought.She nodded her head lightly, trying to drive away the disappointment accumulated in her heart.But... no, it doesn't work at all.Liu Yuxian vaguely saw that on the other side of forcing herself to stay away from He Yan was herself who was eager to get in touch with that person.

Let's distance ourselves from He Yan──that clear voice seems to be getting weaker and weaker.In order to save her heart that was about to collapse due to repression and depression, Liu Yuxian began to look for clues about He Yan.As long as she is likely to appear, Liu Yuxian will search for her figure carefully, and only need the corner of the eye to determine her location; as long as it is her voice, Liu Yuxian's ears will become particularly sensitive in an instant , You can immediately tell which words came from her mouth without careful identification.During class, He Yan always walked into the classroom through the back door with the bell ringing. No matter where she sat, Liu Yuxian could always turn her head to catch her figure accurately the moment she entered the classroom.And in order to shorten the distance with He Yan, Liu Yuxian has developed the habit of sitting in the back row, because He Yan's haunt is near the back door of the classroom.

Why did you do this yourself?Liu Yuxian secretly laughed at her pathetic mentality of drinking poison to quench thirst.In order to protect himself, he distanced himself from her, caused pain because of distance from her, and then approached her to ease the pain. After getting close to her, the painful feeling became more vivid, but leaving would only make the pain more painful... Liu Yuxian felt as if he had fallen into a painful world. No matter how hard you try, you can't climb out of the vortex.

Several times, because I knew that He Yan was going to step into the classroom, but I didn't see her walking in at the predicted time, Liu Yuxian's originally evasive eyes would turn into a look of forgetting to hide and deliberately looking, and the result was He will make eye contact with He Yan who happened to walk in.Whether it's the rapidly flushed face or the pounding heartbeat, they are reminding the timid Liu Yuxian to look away quickly, but the nerves that control the eyes want to go their own way and look at He Yan without authorization.Whenever this happened, He Yan didn't know whether it was intentional or not, she would go to sit next to Liu Yuxian and attend class.

Is it because your eyes convey an invitation?So He Yan still cares about herself to some extent?Or is it just out of politeness?Well, in the final analysis, even if that didn't mean anything, Liu Yuxian couldn't help but feel secretly happy, maybe he had expected her to approach him.Even if I know how ridiculous it is to think like that, I just can't control it.

Twice because He Yan brought the wrong textbook, she sat with Liu Yuxian and shared a book, but Liu Yuxian didn't know whether it was because she was too excited or too nervous, and after the whole class, she didn't hear the teacher. any word said.Sitting stiffly next to He Yan pretending to be relaxed, wanting to look at her but not daring to raise her eyes, unable to say a few words, this state is really not comfortable, but Liu Yuxian would rather be like this than give up with He Yan Yan approached the opportunity.Up to now, she has long put aside the idea of ​​alienating He Yan.Since you don't know what to do, let's do it first.She doesn't want to think, too much thinking has already made her head feel conditioned pain as soon as she touches this question, and she doesn't want to take the initiative to look for pain, although being close to He Yan will also make her heart ache to some extent.

Deng Daping's invitations have gradually become more frequent since the time of National Day.Although Liu Yuxian didn't like him, she didn't hate him.Except for the possible misunderstanding during the National Day holiday, which made her dislike Deng Daping to the extreme in an instant, but after He Yan took the initiative to share a book with her in class for the first time, she completely forgot about that misunderstanding .The attention paid to He Yan has consumed most of her energy, and she has no extra energy to waste on Deng Daping.

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On the first Tuesday in November, the cold air suddenly visited, and the temperature suddenly dropped to about 10 degrees, which was a full seven or eight degrees lower than the previous day.As soon as he woke up in the morning, he shrank his neck from the cold, Liu Yuxian dragged out a woolen coat from under the closet, and was about to put it on when he went out.

While brushing his teeth, the phone rang suddenly. Liu Yuxian ran out of the bathroom. While brushing his teeth, he looked at the screen of the phone. When he saw the name "Deng Daping" displayed, his enthusiasm for answering the phone was as cold as the weather that day. down.After pressing the mute button, he put the phone back on the table and continued to retreat to the bathroom to brush his teeth.

"Who is it?"

Just as Lin Yuanyuan asked this question, the dormitory phone rang.Saying to Liu Yuxian, "Could it be that you called the dormitory without answering the phone?" Lin Yuanyuan picked up the microphone and gave a hello.As soon as he heard the other party say something, he yelled into the bathroom: "Liu Yuxian, call!" Then he muttered "I guessed right", put down the microphone, returned to his seat and continued to paint his face carefully.

Liu Yuxian took a sneak peek at He Yan, who was unresponsive, and answered the phone reluctantly.