the one who lives in my body

When I read that diary entry, I didn't know what mood I was in, I just thought—oh, so it was like this.

I said, why did Xie Dongrong suddenly agree to be with me?

Because I can't get rid of it anyway, so why not give it a proper name?So this is ah.

Obviously, this guy is not a responsible person in his impression. He is so considerate of me in this matter, it really embarrasses him, and he even wronged himself to reluctantly cooperate with me.

Putting the diary back to its original place in silence, I suddenly felt ridiculous, um, I felt ridiculous for myself.

I also wishful thinking that feelings can be cultivated, but the fact is...

From the very beginning, Xie Dongrong never gave me this chance.

I was a person who was sentenced to death by him at the first sight, so no matter how hard I struggled afterwards, I was still a dead person in his eyes.

There used to be a few moments when I thought maybe he liked me, but now it seems that maybe this is just my self-deception, even if he really likes me...he probably won't believe it himself.

Like a puppet without a soul, I sat on the edge of Xie Dongrong's bed. I don't know why, the bed sheet I slept on and changed, and Xie Dongrong's indifferent eyes came to my mind again.

I can't help asking myself, these years have passed, what exactly has Xie Dongrong changed for me?

It seems that there are indeed quite a lot, but when I think about it carefully, I am afraid that the subtle discrimination against me in his heart has never changed.

But also, what qualifications do people like me have to talk about liking?I'm not a child anymore. From a social point of view, isn't it normal for Xie Dongrong to look down on me?Maybe he gave me the illusion that I should be equal to him, and I should ask him to like me.

I suddenly wanted to leave this room, and at the same time, a thought that I never dared to pop up in my mind suddenly took root in my mind-break up.

……separate?

Xie Dongrong and I... can this be considered a breakup?

I was thinking about this question carefully when the door was opened.

Xie Dongrong's military boots first fell into my field of vision, and my eyes lifted upwards, slender legs and thin waist, and finally fell on the face that was destined to be unforgettable at a glance.

Such a person, without me, should be everywhere to pounce on him, and I have worked so hard to "own" him after waiting for so many years.

"What do you want to talk about?" It was almost just the instinct of the body that drove me to move. I said these words, my heart was numb, and I didn't know what I was doing.

"What's the matter?" Xie Dongrong raised his hand and stroked my chin like a small animal. The image of his slender and white fingers stroking me appeared in my mind, "I feel that you are so strange recently."

"Xie Dongrong..." I looked up at him, my eyes were slightly hot, but I didn't cry, "I accidentally watched..."

"By the way," Xie Dongrong seemed to think of something suddenly, and said halfway, "It's nothing, you continue to talk."

"No, you go ahead." I let him, I thought, I shouldn't bring this up while he was still thinking about other things.

Xie Dongrong walked to the desk, and seemed to observe the gray marks on it, "Although the electric shock was given, there will still be estrus."

My thoughts froze slightly, and I thought, didn't this person never admit that he had a "estrous period"?

Glancing at me from the corner of the eye, Xie Dongrong's expression was a little unnatural, and his face was a little flushed, "Recently, I feel a little hot in my body. After counting the time, it seems that it is indeed periodic, and it may be coming soon..."

What... I feel a little inexplicable, I just passed it not long ago, why is it coming again, and this is not the same as the table listed by the doctor, no matter how you say it, it is too frequent.

But the doctor did mention before that, like Xie Dongrong, the Amut people who have just entered the sexual maturity period will indeed have more frequent body heat, and there will be false estrus.

In fact, in short...he wanted it.

However, for this kind of false estrus, a small amount of medicine can suppress it, just like the injection that Xie Dongrong arranged for Pan Shi to give.

But when I think about it carefully, it seems that I haven't done much recently. It's really rare for Xie Dongrong to pull down his face and talk to me about this matter...

"These few nights, can you come to my place?" Xie Dongrong seldom talked to me in such a negotiating tone, and for a while, I didn't know what to do.

"The Panshi needs my assistance these days. You know, we are going to take him away from the mothership soon." I said.

Xie Dongrong paced silently, sat next to me, he leaned close to me, and said to me in an extremely seductive tone: "But I'm really not feeling well."

"...Okay, then you can wait for me in my dormitory at night, but I may be late."

After a moment of silence, Xie Dongrong said, "...OK."

Thinking about it carefully, it seems that he clings to me and treats me well because his body needs me.

He never took any medicine prescribed by the doctor, he was like a boy who went straight into mature X life from the beginning of development.

I asked myself - should I spoil him?

For a moment, the room fell into silence.

"Xie Dongrong." In the end, I decided to speak first. When I turned my head, I found that he seemed to have something to say.

"Why?" He asked me, "Your complexion is not very good." Frowning slightly, he said.

I clenched my fists involuntarily, hesitated for a while, and finally decided to ask the matter: "I'm sorry, when you were away just now, your diary was on the table, I picked it up and took a look."

Hearing this, Xie Dongrong was also stunned, but soon he regained his composure, "Just watch it, what?" Not feeling guilty.

"I want to ask you, do you... like me?" For the first time, in such a solemn atmosphere, I asked this sentence, God knows how much effort I spent to make my voice not so choked.

"Why do you ask this?" As usual, Xie Dongrong did not answer.

"That diary, the last entry... yes, I remember it was the last entry, you said it." I looked at him, trying to find a trace of panic or guilty conscience on his face, but there was no, from beginning to end, he His expression was so natural, as if my loss of control was an extremely unreasonable thing, "Are you only with me because of my request? Or is it because of responsibility?"

Xie Dongrong looked at me, as if analyzing my expression quickly, "We're in bed." In the end, he only said these few words.

"So you agree with us being together?" Almost gnashing my teeth, I grabbed his shoulder and raised my voice slightly, "Just because of this? Xie Dongrong, I remember that you are not a very guilty person! "

Xie Dongrong looked at me, "Tao Shu, can you calm down?"

Why?Why did he say this?Countless times, I shouted at him in my heart, saying something, even if it was something to make me happy, is it so difficult to lie to me that you like me at this time?

I have seen it, I have seen it, I have confirmed it through his eyes, just yesterday, just the day before yesterday?I clearly feel that he likes me, but why can he only give such an answer now?

I do not understand.

I fell silent.

Sitting next to Xie Dongrong, I began to wonder what I was doing.

"Do we have to like each other to be together?" I heard Xie Dongrong say.

That's right, Xie Dongrong's world may be different from our ordinary people.

"If you think it's necessary, we'll be together." Xie Dongrong said, "I've always felt that way." At this moment, he was very calm, like an emotionless robot.

"As for whether you like it or not, I don't think it's very important, but if you insist on an answer, wait a few days for the electric shock to end... I think I can tell you in detail." After a pause, Xie Dongrong Continued: "But that will not affect our relationship."

All of a sudden, I thought it was all so funny, I actually tried to have a relationship with Xie Dongrong?Am I crazy? "But you are also jealous, why don't you like other people to be with me? Can you explain?" But involuntarily, I continued.

Xie Dongrong was silent, and his expression showed some awkwardness. In the end, he said: "Indeed, I can't explain it, but before the electric shock is over, I can't make a conclusion about all my feelings for you."

Xie Dongrong, such a rigorous person, I don't even know whether I should be thankful that he didn't lie to me.

Letting Xie Dongrong caress my face, when I was hugged by him this time, I didn't feel anything in my heart.

I don't understand why a person can do this. He can't even say a word of liking, but he can comfort you with such affectionate eyes and gentle movements.

"Is it because of this?" When Xie Dongrong lowered his voice to coax people, his voice was a little hoarse, which sounded very sexy. He said, "Anyway, that won't change anything."

……

Yes, we did it even under these circumstances.

I asked him afterwards, "We are like this now, what if you meet someone you really like in the future?"

Xie Dongrong stared at me, as if he was wondering about my question itself.

"I don't know what you mean by liking." Xie Dongrong turned over and pressed down again. He kissed me skillfully. At this moment, his kissing skills have improved by leaps and bounds compared to before, "But I feel that now That's fine."

For a moment, I didn't know what to say, I just felt heat and an inexplicable sadness surrounding me.

Xie Dongrong didn't understand, but it was normal.

After all, he has never experienced that love cannot be obtained, and what he wants can always roll into his hands by reaching out.

I think, during his estrus period, I will still cooperate with him.

For him, but also for myself.

Frantically owned a few times before parting.

Allow me to be so selfish.