the one who lives in my body

For a moment I wondered if my dear doctor had made a mistake.

In the three years since I met Xie Dongrong every day, I have not seen the so-called "dependence" on his face at any moment. Now that statement is more apt.

But the doctor's expression was too serious. He sat opposite me, the light from the desk lamp shone on his face, and the high bridge of his nose acted as a barrier, dividing his face into two halves, one light and one dark.

This is what the doctor looks like when he is completely serious. He is usually such an easy-going person, but when it comes to professional aspects, you are even willing to doubt yourself instead of him.

Swallowing my saliva, I tried my best to be serious, "I'm sorry, Doctor, Xie Dongrong's attitude towards me has always been indifferent. At least in my opinion, he has never...had any dependence on me."

Lowering his head slightly, the doctor began to caress his stubble-covered chin. After a while, he raised his head again and said, "I think you should know that Xie Dongrong is a person who is extremely good at disguising, and he also has a strong self-esteem. The rejection he showed towards you when you were there is even because he realizes that deep in his heart, he is hiding his attachment to you."

"So what should I do?" Clenching my fist slightly, I found my voice trembling, "Did he stick to me shamelessly when he spoke ill of me? It was he who slammed me away, even When you want to beat me up, do you still follow behind him meanly?"

In fact, there is no need for the doctor to say that I have done this kind of thing over the years, but I am also a living person, a creature with feelings that can be hurt, even when I was stabbed by him countless times, my originally numb heart It will still be painful.

For a long time, Xie Dongrong has been telling me clearly that what I did was wrong, and even I myself have noticed the ridiculousness behind it, and I even started to try to resist.

Now, does the doctor actually want me to continue?

"I'm sorry Shu, I know this might be hard for you..."

No, it's actually not uncomfortable. In fact, I wish I could stick to him shamelessly and even write my name all over him in accordance with my own nature.

"But it is indeed a necessary course of treatment." The doctor stared into my eyes, "It doesn't matter whether you are acting or coaxing, you don't even have to treat him sincerely, as long as he has passed this period and his body can fully recover. Stabilize and never get sick again... After that, you can choose to go far away, and, as long as you want, the Princess Family will definitely promise you a perfect future."

No...it's not like that, acting?Coax?It seems that the doctor still really doesn't understand the relationship between me and Xie Dongrong. I can't do it at all. I even have to spend a lot of effort to prevent myself from being hungry and annoying him. How can I be like this? To lie to him?

And, the most ridiculous thing is - the future?I never thought about this, and even said that such a promise would only make me feel ashamed, but all along, my purpose has always been very clear, I want to thank Dongrong, that's all.

"After a while, he will go to Amut Star as part of our national delegation. I have to tell you very directly that if he goes, you have to go too."

"...Then what if he doesn't want to?" I said in a low voice.

The doctor didn't answer my question directly, but narrowed his eyes slightly, "Of course, I have an alternative plan here, which was specially designed to prevent the two of you from being at odds. In this way, Xie Dongrong can quickly get out of the way." You, and never need your state from now on, but I don’t advocate it, because it will cause him great pain and endless after-effects, of course, you…” The doctor glanced at me meaningfully, “Except for conscience You'll have no repercussions other than a little reprimand."

After finishing speaking, the doctor breathed a sigh of relief, "Actually, I didn't intend to tell you that I didn't intend to tell you, but I have to say it today, in order to prevent you from deliberately indifference to Xie Dongrong after knowing that there is this PlanB."

Looking at the doctor, without thinking about it, I just shook my head, "Without a doctor, you think too much, I will not consider this method, I will do what you say." Let Xie Dongrong suffer great suffering?Just thinking about it is enough to make me sick, let alone implementing...

Raising his eyebrows, the doctor asked back: "Do you know why I said 'but today I have to say'?"

After he asked such a question, I suddenly thought of a possibility, and I clenched my fists involuntarily, not knowing what expression to make.

Before I could speak, the doctor directly confirmed my guess: "That kid Xie Dongrong is really a little too smart." He seemed to be a little distressed, rubbing the space between his brows, "Probably he flipped through the notes I left in the studio. Well, he obviously didn’t write it clearly, but he still saw it.”

"He proposed that he is willing to accept this Plan B, and he has already told his parents about his wish."

"As for his decision, it can be seen that Anzhen and Zhengchu are not willing to accept it, but in the end, because of you, Anzhen was the first to let go."

For a moment, I was dizzy, and stood up involuntarily, and I found that my legs were shaking, "I will never agree." It was very strange, it was clearly my own words, but it felt like they came from a very far away place.

"I think you can have a good discussion with him..." In the end, the doctor's words seemed to be hidden somewhere. With my consciousness completely unable to connect with my brain, I walked out of the physical examination room. At that time, there was no one around.

I stood outside Xie Dongrong's room door.

I knew he was inside, not just because of the dim light coming from under the crack of the door, but because of a feeling, a very strange feeling, that I just knew he was there.

This time, without knocking on the door, I chose to break in directly.

The entry went very smoothly, Xie Dongrong didn't have the habit of locking the door.

As usual, he was sitting on the bed, leaning on the pillow, sitting upright in a very comfortable posture, with his long hair drooping slightly, holding a book in his hand, and staring at him with a frown at the moment, I thought, he must be disturbing his peace.

"You can't agree to that plan..." After I spoke, I realized that my voice was dry and hoarse, and it was only after I spoke that I realized that even at this moment, facing Xie Dongrong, I was still so powerless.

Compared to me, Xie Dongrong was much calmer, he put his fingers together, and it was the sound of a book being closed.

He looked over, with a smile on his lips, as if he didn't understand the confusion on my face, "What does this have to do with you? This way we are both relieved, isn't it good? Anyway, I think this time, without me , you are doing well too."

"No," my voice was not too loud, and I seemed a little weak, but in the end I managed to harden myself, "The doctor said that you will suffer huge injuries, and there will be many sequelae. I can't accept it."

"Is it really because of this?" Xie Dongrong sat up straight, "Is it really not because of anything else?"

"What do you mean?" At that moment, I felt infinite anger, although I had already guessed what kind of person I was in his heart.

"You really enjoy the feeling that I can't leave you?" Xie Dongrong said the most hurtful words in the most indifferent tone, "If just a few electric shocks can erase your position by my side, will you Are you very unhappy?"

What is he saying?electric shock?

electric shock? ?

Almost in a daze, I stepped forward and grabbed his collar, "Xie Dongrong, you are not a fucking thing! I have been by your side all these years, you don't understand what I did? Why are you still Miss me so much? I love you, I love you, I love you! Don’t you really understand? I never begged you for anything! I just don’t want you to hurt, I don’t want to see you suffer, why the hell do you have to say Are you angry at me for saying that?"

I lowered my head, tears hit Xie Dongrong's face, but Xie Dongrong just looked up at me, he didn't seem to listen to a word I said.

I don't want to cry in front of Xie Dongrong. This is a proof of cowardice. I have been aggrieved enough in front of him for a long time. I used a free and easy mask to disguise myself in order not to let this cowardly face show off. in his eyes.

But today I failed.

It was humiliating and frustrating, and it represented a total victory for him, even though I knew I had never won.

"Anyway, I won't agree."

Even if he treats me like this for another three years, I can bear it. I only hope that when the day I am abandoned by him, I won't be as embarrassed as I am now.

I ran, I ran to the upper floor of Namin, I ran to the highest balcony, stared at the green below, let my tears fall freely, and hit the grass below drop by drop.

It took a long time before I made myself look a little normal, at least not the kind where people could see that I had cried at a glance.

I went to meet the princess and the general separately, and expressed my determination on this choice with the most sincere words possible.

The princess hugged me and cried for a while, while the general offered to extend his hand to me.

Before leaving, I couldn't see Xie Dongrong again, although I didn't want to see him at this moment.

The next day, my uncle was officially released from prison, and I was finally sent to school by my mother.

The situation on the Panshi side is also good, quite stable.

I think, except for Xie Dongrong, everything seems to be developing in a good direction.

Since I went back to school, every day, I have to see him.

I think in his eyes, this may be a kind of torture.

It's obviously not that there are no topics to talk about, but the conversation between us has become less and less.

But occasionally, Xie Dongrong would also take the initiative to provoke the topic.

That kind of misleading topic.