the one who lives in my body

The room fell into a brief silence. Xie Dongrong opened his eyes and looked at me expressionlessly. At that moment, I felt that his expression was a little dull, but soon he returned to his usual shrewdness: "There are still things to do. I can't go back without finishing it," he said.

Things to do?For a moment, my thoughts seemed to be blocked, "What's the matter?",

"Although you seem to think that your state has nothing to do with me, I can't convince myself to believe that. It's my duty." Xie Dongrong sat on the seat beside me, closed his eyes slightly, and showed a Distressed look.

For a moment, I thought I was confused, I didn't know what to say, why did he give me the feeling that he came here by force?In fact I didn't do that!I don't have any plans to delay his work either!

The corners of my lips were half raised, and I smiled, "When did you become so righteous? I'm not used to it."

As expected, my words aroused Xie Dongrong's displeasure. He frowned and stared at me, as if staring at a completely unreasonable person. Is he going to get angry?I think, he has always been unable to bear this kind of grievance, but at this moment, I hope that he will let go of his anger and leave.

However, in the end, he fell silent, and even his tone became much gentler, "I know that you have suffered in that place during this time, and I feel very bad for not being able to rescue you in time, but if you You listen to me, Tao Shu, you shouldn't be bothering with those things, and there's no need to go down with your colleagues..."

"Is it the rock that took you away? To put it bluntly, maybe it's because of you that things turned out that way."

Xie Dongrong's narration was very calm, without any expression during the whole process, his eyelashes drooped, and it could even be said that he was gentle in his brows, but why could he say such accusations against me in such a tone?

I don't know why I was so angry at that moment, maybe it was because Xie Dongrong was right?

Of course, it’s not that I haven’t thought about these things. If anyone else told me these things, I wouldn’t have much reaction. Only Xie Dongrong, he can’t say that, although this thought may make me change. It's unreasonable, but yes, that's what I think.

"Are you here to accuse me? You mean, I'm responsible for all of this?" I wanted to cry and laugh at the same time, "I dare say that my experience on Amut star during this period will serve as an example for mankind. Help with their research."

I want to tell him that these days, the suffering I have suffered on Amut is not useless to all human beings, even to myself alone.

But obviously, Xie Dongrong didn't understand this, he just stared at me, and pronounced the sentence word by word: "Tao Shu, you are too naive, all the research on the Amut people or the Amut star It doesn't matter anymore."

At that moment, staring at him, my heart fell into a stagnation.

Is this who I used to like?At a time like this, he said something like this to throw me cold water, and it was ridiculous for me to think that he loved me, or maybe... loved me?

"... Well, you're right." At that moment, I gave up struggling, and I found that my communication with Xie Dongrong only made the two of us sad, "I'm going to rest, can you go out for a while? "With that, I turned my back to him and closed my eyes.

For a long time, Xie Dongrong didn't move. Maybe he didn't think he said something wrong, although in fact it might be the case.

"Tao Shu..." I heard him call my name, his voice was very hoarse, as if he was trying to suppress some kind of emotion.

"You shouldn't have left me...I mean, during this time...I'm in pain, and I miss you very much." After finishing speaking, Xie Dongrong slowly got up, his footsteps seemed to be on my heart, step by step, Very heavy.

In my impression, this should be the first time Xie Dongrong confides his heart.

Does he miss me?It turned out that he thought about me too.

I suddenly recalled that in the hut that Panshi arranged for me, every night, I would think of Xie Dongrong more or less.

Maybe for a quarter of an hour, the time we miss overlaps.

But what good is that?

Even with the eyes closed, tears kept pouring out of the eyes. The tears were hot, wet the pillow cover, and spread to the face, which was very uncomfortable.

It was really uncomfortable in my heart, it even diluted my physical discomfort, coupled with the endless exhaustion, so soon, I fell into a drowsy sleep.

When I woke up, Xie Dongrong was sitting in front of me. I don't know how much time has passed, but it feels as if he never left.

For the first time, I took a look at the pillowcase and was relieved to see that there weren't any wet marks on it.

"It's time to eat." Xie Dongrong picked up his rice bowl, his expression normal, as if the unhappiness that happened just now had never existed before.

But the next moment he said, "You cried."

Well, it seems that he was discovered.

I laughed and didn't know how to answer for a while, isn't it normal to cry?

"You rarely cry," he said.

That's because you didn't see it. I suddenly felt that Xie Dongrong was very annoying, because listening to his voice, my eyes felt wet again, which made me not want to face him at all.

"I made you sad." Xie Dongrong seldom said so many words at once without me answering. He stared at my hand holding the bed sheet and said such words.

I laughed hahaha, "Why are you so confident?" Few people can take it for granted that other sorrows are due to themselves like him, although this is indeed true.

Realizing that I was stabbing him, Xie Dongrong frowned slightly, but in the end he chose to be calm, just picked up the bowl in his hand again, and said, "Let's eat."

I took the rice bowl in silence, stared at the rice grains in the bowl, and chewed without taste.

I knew Xie Dongrong was looking at me, "You are in a very good condition now, much better than what I heard." He said.

What I know is that Xie Dongrong will attribute all the credit to his own arrival. This person can be so confident, and it is strange that he rarely makes mistakes in judgment.

"It's almost ready, so you go back, it will be ready tomorrow..." As I said that, I turned my face and forced myself to look at Xie Dongrong.

Xie Dongrong's eyes were full of inquiry. He seemed to hope to analyze the subtext in my sentence, although what I wanted to express was actually just the literal meaning.

"...If you really think so, then I will go back." In the end, Xie Dongrong said this.

Unconsciously, I breathed a sigh of relief, maybe there was some sadness in my heart, but that was far from the guilt I felt when Xie Dongrong paid for me.

For a few hours after dinner, we also talked a few words, innocuous everyday things, which made me feel relieved.

We no longer have to be intimate, I no longer have to have too much emotional ups and downs because of his every move, and most fortunately, time with him no longer means sex that may come at any time. Relationship, just stop and talk so simply.

very nice.

He took care of his work, and I worked on my new creation.

Time just passed.

When the distribution of the hands meant that it was late at night, Xie Dongrong still had no intention of leaving, but his expression was already a bit sleepy, as if he had finished his work for the time being, he stared at my hand for quite a long time .

"Are you tired?" I asked him.

Only then did Xie Dongrong glance at the time, "It's time to rest." After speaking, he looked up at me, but he didn't seem to want to leave at all.

For a while, I didn't know how to speak.

"...I'm resting here, it's convenient for me to leave tomorrow." As he spoke, he licked the corners of his lips with a half-smile, and had to admit that his expression was very sexy.

My hospital bed can indeed accommodate two people, but it will be a little crowded. I didn't realize that Xie Dongrong would want to stay here before, but his expression was so natural, as if I refused. It's like something out of the ordinary.

Xie Dongrong stared at his slender fingers, as if waiting for my answer.

Finally, I said it anyway: "We shouldn't be sleeping together."

Hearing this, as if hearing some joke, Xie Dongrong said: "Why, you went to the Amut star, and you are still reserved?"

"I……"

"What are you worried about? I'm not going to touch a patient." Xie Dongrong looked at my face and smiled evilly.

"No, Xie Dongrong, we broke up." Finally, these words came out of his mouth.

The room fell into a brief silence, Xie Dongrong stared upwards for a moment, as if lost in memory, "Is it because of the past?"

"..."

"When I just woke up... At that time, my memory was very chaotic. From childhood to adulthood, I almost relived my life, but the facts were so in front of my eyes." Xie Dongrong spoke very methodically, "You You should know, before... I didn't like you very much, but the reality tells me that you are my lover."

"Also, the memories related to you are always not so pure..."

Xie Dongrong looked into my eyes, explaining to me seriously and really hard.

"That's why I did those things." When he finished speaking, his eyes dodged for a while, and then he glanced over again, sitting upright, as if he was discussing something very formally.

There was a long silence.

"It broke your heart at that time... You left too, I know how hard it is." Xie Dongrong spoke the last paragraph intermittently, as if he mustered up his courage before making up his mind to say this.

I seem to understand Xie Dongrong's thoughts.

"...Let's separate." It's impossible not to have any touch in my heart, but in the end, I can only say this sentence.

Xie Dongrong looked at me, as if he didn't quite understand what I said, "It's inappropriate for you to tell me this now." He frowned slightly, and finally revealed his original face.

"I've thought about it for a long time, and finally made this decision. It's not a whim." I stared at my own twisted hands, not daring to look at his face anymore.

"So you are driving me away, right?" Xie Dongrong's voice finally sank, "You are not qualified to do this, why do you think you were arranged here?"

Oh, it turns out that the treatment here is also given by him.

"Then I'll go out, okay?"

"Tao Shu, why do you have to do this?" Xie Dongrong's expression finally became violent, and he held my shoulders with both hands, "If you have any problems, just say, what happened, we can solve it together, why did you use it With such an attitude..."

Come?

Xie Dongrong didn't say any more.

He seemed to have figured it out suddenly.He let me go and walked out the door, leaving only one sentence: "I hope you think about it carefully." Then he walked away.