Water lanterns and dreams in 1 nights

Lying, but a general description of the dream, I can only tell you that I am exhausted, chased by invisible and terrifying things, but it is not invisible, as soon as I close my eyes, a large and thick fog surrounds me In front of the eyes, vague silhouettes appear and disappear in the mist, hiding there is an animated and wriggling dead man, with a ferocious scorched face, charred lips, exposed gums, burned clothes, curled and blackened edges, creeping or crawling. Standing, moving slowly towards me; sometimes the white mist rises into the sky, and spreads red and red from the center, sparks splash into my eyes, and the white mist that is as high as the dome turns into the appearance of those dead people, leaning towards me with teeth and claws, wanting to eat, I turned around and wanted to run, but the ground was cracked inch by inch and magma fell, and I fell on my back into the high, boiling and bubbling red flame purgatory.

It's hard to say if that is the embodiment of my guilt, I don't seem to feel my own guilt particularly; so if I imagine them as grudges, night after night to revenge on me, it's not a big deal, I have no idea about them , even if it is difficult to sleep well, at least I am still alive, walking in the world, walking in your shadow, can this not be called happiness?

The balance of the three people is more fragile than I imagined. First, the sudden child. When this child is born, where is my foothold? I was his replacement. When he really came, I lost the base .But I can't do anything about this, because it's hard to find a way to get rid of the child without hurting Aunt Tan.I backed down step by step, and a war broke out when I was still struggling. If danger strikes, you must give up one person, you are the one who must be preserved first, and the method for the remaining two is more complicated.Here I want to warn you that what is going to be shown to you is not good, stop reading here and you will be confused, but reading this letter may make you lose your impression of the dead.I still have mixed feelings about it, a mix of wanting you to know and fearing you know, and consistently, I can guess that my advice will be brushed aside.

When the help becomes an obstacle, it is not difficult to understand the idea of ​​weakening it. As for whether to get rid of it, it depends on how much living space is left. In the situation where only two people survive, it is necessary to achieve separation across emotions.Creatures come and go in this world. Every day, tens of thousands of people are busy being born, and tens of thousands of people are dying in a hurry. They always say that human life is noble and strong, but in fact it is not much worse than killing livestock. Even if no one does it, there will naturally be accidents. Accident takes over from Reaper to complete the task.But who can judge which makeup is artificial from endless accidents?

When I heard what Aunt Tan said that day, she wanted you and me to leave together, I was stunned at that moment, I hadn't been naive for a long time, her gentle words brought me to tears.In fact, I don't understand why you should stay together as a husband and wife because of love and reason, not to mention that she is still pregnant, wild dogs should not argue with their owners, I just never willingly play the role of being left behind.But in her words, I suddenly gave up my paranoia. I thought about what else to ask for. You have treated me too well. In the end, it is reasonable to let me stay. I firmly let her stay. Looking at your reaction, I was afraid to see a relieved look on your face, but luckily you didn't, and Aunt Tan insisted on staying by herself, so I made a decision on my own and let you go.Even though I painfully thought about not knowing for a long time, I would no longer be able to integrate into your family of three when I saw you again, but I still did not waver.

I closed the door of the room and began to organize the items I owned one by one. I had nothing to do but look back one by one. There was almost nothing in this room that did not come from you. The scene flooded in front of my eyes.After tidying up for a while, I heard Aunt Tan calling me to take a shower, so I went into the bathroom with a change of clothes in my arms.There was nothing abnormal, if I didn't fall in the bathtub.

People all over the world die from all sorts of ridiculous reasons.Some were infected with a virus after being bitten by a sesame-sized bug, some had their brains pierced through the eyes by a wooden branch after a fall, some died of simple allergies, and even thousands of people died every year from slipping and falling into the bathtub.My feet slipped and my knees slammed against the edge of the bathtub. The heart-piercing pain suddenly hit my senses. I staggered forward and fell down. I hurriedly supported the wall, knocked down a shelf that placed the toiletries, and knocked everything over the floor.

Then Aunt Tan quickly asked me what was wrong through the door—there was nothing wrong with her tone, but I subconsciously felt that something was wrong. She came too fast, and her tone was concerned but not urgent, as if she knew what was going to happen in advance.I pretended to be calm, comforted her and comforted myself and raised my voice to say it was all right, and then she walked away.

I observed it carefully, and I was sure that one place at the bottom of the bathtub was especially slippery, and it would feel obvious to the touch, that it was definitely covered with something that could be lubricated.I wiped it off, took a shower, went back to my room and said nothing.I was lying on the bed, staring at the dim ceiling with my eyes open. My mind was hazy and repeatedly drawing conclusions and overturning them. Various thoughts kept coming and going, disturbing my mind. I didn’t know whether I should trust Aunt Tan at ease. Still skeptical.Suspicion is very useful, it has helped me live smoothly until now, but I don't want to speculate on her with that kind of thinking.

I don't know how long it took me to recover from my messy thoughts, and suddenly I found that my eyes dimmed suddenly, and when I looked again, there was nothing unusual, and after a while, it dimmed again. After several times like this, I was sure that there was something wrong with the lights. Without any further hesitation, I looked at the lamp on the top first, and then the bedside table lamp. As soon as I took off the lampshade, I felt that something was wrong. The temperature of the bulb was too high. I could find it with my hand a little closer. I turned off the lamp, unplugged it, After it cooled down, I tried to twist it a few times, but the bulb was not tightened, and it was loose.Sometimes I leave the desk lamp on all night at night, if I go to sleep without realizing it, what will happen to me?

I turned off all the lights and closed my eyes, feeling a sense of sadness lingering in my heart.She wouldn't back down, and it was obvious to me that she was going to go, at the cost of hurting or killing me, and without mercy.I was still left behind by her.The more you don’t let people think about anything, the more you will think about it. My speculation about her went down all the way and sank to the bottom. The concession I was willing to make seemed like a joke. Thinking about one thing, and finally making a new decision.

I learned it from a classmate who owns a pharmacy at home. His shop has been stocking medicinal wine made from snakes and medicinal materials for a long time. He was able to get in touch with these through his ears and eyes, and relayed the skills of catching snakes when he was having fun.Experienced snake catchers can distinguish the type of snake from the shape of the cave and the excrement of nearby snakes. They can catch snakes even in winter. I don’t know much from him, but it is enough for me.

It was so cold that night, I quietly went out with a flashlight and a cloth bag.In the dark night, no one was with me. My fingers and toes were so cold that I lost all feeling. The wind hit my cheeks and scraped my ears. I walked to a remote place with deep feet and shallow feet. There is nothing terrible about being bitten to death by a snake or being attacked from behind. I thought, mocking myself, if you can't find me tomorrow, you should leave as soon as possible.Yet the whimsical plan worked, and I was the one to win.

In place of Aunt Tan, I will walk with you. My shoulders are thin and I cannot bear the weight of life. To follow you, I must do my best to maximize my value. All I can offer you is loyalty. I will take over Aunt Tan’s work and start Housework and chores, I swear to take good care of you, otherwise I will be sorry to her.I kill people, hurt people, plunder money and help people. I am busy to let you be free and do what you want. You don’t need to be too distracted by the turbulent world. I can isolate you from the misery of the outside world. Follow my plan.For eight months, you didn't mention Aunt Tan very much. You said the food I cooked was very good, but my appetite was smaller than before. I thought you didn't care about the rest of the world. Maybe you did, but it doesn't mean you don't Follow others.I can't help but promise you to go back to Qiming, because I think you need my care and company anyway, you are a person who treats yourself carelessly, and you will be a mess when no one is around you, I think so, the irony is I clearly know your independence, but I take it seriously.

After returning to Qiming, I couldn’t sleep well all night, and the nightmare never left. There was an extra person in those pure white or blood-red mist. Her face was as beautiful as before. Compared with those distorted and screaming faces, She didn't even look at me, and stood on one side with her eyes lowered from beginning to end, but she became the most terrifying image of me.At first she just hung her head and said nothing, as if she had something to say but she didn't say it. On the night when we finally found out her whereabouts, I dreamed that she was very close to me, standing in the cold Surface, lost a shoe.She raised her head, strands of her black hair stuck to her water-stained face, her lips turned white, and she sneered mysteriously at me. The familiar face suddenly deformed and swelled, and it became white and transparent from the water, turning into a huge one. The image of the jellyfish came directly to me.I woke up from the nightmare with a yell, my heart beating so fast that it was about to explode.

The ghosts that have tortured me for so many years are not as terrible as the side of that night. What scares me more is you. No matter how I argue, I clearly know that I have a part of the responsibility. Why can you not hate me? When I start to endure Can't help but hate yourself?That evening on the cemetery, with what kind of calm tone did you give up your search for the bones of your dead wife,