Water lanterns and dreams in 1 nights

size.I cleaned the room one day when he was out and I swept out quite a few strands of black hair, most of which I believe came from him.

I originally thought that Xiuyi was depressed for a period of time simply because of Liangzi's death, and he would recover after this hurdle passed, but his situation went from bad to worse, and it didn't stop until we erected a tomb for Liangzi.

Xiuyi became like a ghost, unwilling to see the light, and drew the curtains tightly every day, but he insisted on cooking for me and doing all kinds of housework. I always refused due to his poor physical condition, and let him have a good rest. Keep your spirits up, he won't listen.Ask him if he feels any discomfort, if he needs to call a doctor for an examination, he keeps shaking his head and refuses, "No, I'll just rest for a while." Deep down, he has a kind of resistance, "The doctor can't cure me." For no reason Yes, I see the emotion in his eyes.

One day I took out a fruit knife from the drawer and decided to peel an apple to eat. Xiuyi came out of the room. I looked up at him before he spoke. He stared at the knife for a while in horror, then looked at me again, his face pale It was scary, at first I didn't realize what was going on, until Xiu unbuttoned his coat and walked towards me, finally exposing his chest in front of me with only a thin layer of underwear. "If you want to do it, I won't resist." I just realized that he thought I was going to kill him with the knife, and I asked him to get dressed and not think too much about absurd things, but that seemed to be the beginning, from now on Many of my actions in the future could be interpreted by him as the prelude to murder.

When I used the gardener's shears to trim the grass, he thought it could be used as a murder weapon; when it was about to rain, I pulled out the poncho, and he thought it would prevent the blood from splashing on him when he killed him; I made a pot of tea, and he drank it as if Some kind of deadly poison was added to it.He speculated all the time that I was going to do something to him, and he didn't hold a grudge. He supported any decision I made, even if it cost my life.

It's not healthy, I told him, take him to see a psychiatrist, he doesn't want to listen, for him to let a stranger pry into his mind, it's better to tell him to die, that's what he said to me.The client resisted, and I couldn't force him to see a doctor, so I had to let him recuperate at home and stay behind closed doors.But the nightmare intensified.

It didn’t take long for him to hardly fall asleep anymore, so he managed to fall asleep by taking sleeping pills. He didn’t sleep for a long time, only two or three hours. He always dreamed. I asked him what he dreamed, but he never said .In fact, if he can tell me the content of the dream, maybe I can help him share some of his anxiety.

"If you don't want to say it, you can write it down." He woke up from the dream again, and I suggested to him, he hesitated for a while but accepted it.I guess he also realizes that his state is not right, and if he doesn't find a way to relieve it, he will be completely broken.As for what he wrote, he didn't give me permission to read it, so I don't know the content.

The author has something to say:

While I was... procrastinating on Lakawen, I signed the contract silently.congratulations.hey-hey.

38. Bad boy 24

The days have never been so static and go by so fast.I gathered the evidence, added it to my book, and quickly completed a first draft, which I sent to a familiar editor.I wanted to publish it as soon as possible, but Qiming is currently under the jurisdiction of the other party after all, publishing here is tantamount to suicide, I have to get out first, but Xiuyi is too weak, I thought about taking him away after his condition stabilized.After leaving the main job, I returned to the life of reading books and growing flowers for the elderly.

I go out once a week to buy the necessary supplies and ingredients. This work was originally assigned to Xiuyi. Later, his spirit became more and more bad. I took it over and let him rest at home.I couldn't get him to accept that travel was actually more rejuvenating.

Xiuyi's mental state has not improved significantly, he doesn't talk much, let alone take the initiative to speak.I gave him a stack of manuscript paper, and I expected that he would need a sense of ritual to write down his thoughts.He didn't express his doubts about me. Rather than dispelling his suspicions about me, I believe that he buried that fear deep down, and he was still worried about when I would do something to him. I made eye contact, and occasionally moved away quickly when my eyes met.

One night, I got tired of sitting in the study and wanted to get up and stretch my muscles, but before I could do anything, Xiuyi knocked on the door of the study and invited me to go for a walk. agreed.

We went out, chatted as we walked, and unknowingly strayed from the main road into a field without street lights.Speaking of fields, there are also criss-crossing ridges and paths, which are specially reserved for people to pass by. The fields on both sides are planted with taro, corn, peanuts and other crops. There are neither stars nor moonlight tonight. Fortunately, Xiu brought a flashlight. Enough to see the road under your feet.

"How do you write?"

"It's okay." Xiuyi said vaguely.

"Or don't show me?"

"Not yet."

We walked deeper and deeper all the way, and at the end when we looked back, we could only see a bright dot. There was no one else in the field. I could hear footsteps, the rustling of clothes and the sound of breathing. Xiuyi tripped over a protruding stone. After a while, I supported him in time, and Xiuyi muttered thank you in a low voice.

"I feel better recently." Xiuyi said suddenly, "Writing things out really helps sort things out."

"I heard that you used to have the habit of keeping a diary."

"It was a long time ago." Xiuyi was silent for a while, and then said: "Now I have nothing to hide, and I know that without my consent, you will not peek without authorization, and it is not impossible to write on paper."

I breathed the cold and fresh air, and the stagnation in my chest seemed to be relieved, "I always feel that you hide a lot of secrets from me."

"Sometimes the more you know, the better. Concealment may be to protect you."

"It depends on whether I need this kind of protection." I thought for a while, and decided to ask my guess: "Is the father of Zuo Linze and Tao Youqing a member of a secret party?"

"Yes, Principal Zuo is the upline responsible for receiving and guiding, and selects interested students from among the school's staff and parents to make contact."

I didn't expect him to know so well.

"You must be able to see that Tao Youqing likes me. When she invited me to the house, she didn't hide anything. It's not difficult to deduce this information from the guests." Xiuyi felt my suspicion and added: "She Just a silly girl, I won't like her."

"The kid won't be too annoying."

"Well, if she's stupid, she's not bad."

"You never talked about her, or anyone else at school."

"It doesn't make sense. There is no need to mention the person who will be forgotten sooner or later. You and Aunt Tan are the ones I will spend my whole life with. Although I can't fully realize it." Xiuyi stopped and looked back at the way he came, " We've come a long way."

"Well, it's about time to go back." We walked for a total of four or ten minutes, plus the return journey, which is quite a lot for a leisurely walk.

Xiuyi turned off the flashlight, and his eyes suddenly fell into darkness, "There is no one else here, and it is dark enough. If you want to strike, now is a good time."

"Don't be stupid, why on earth should I kill you?"

"Of course it's because of Aunt Tan!"

"You said that you don't know what will happen next, how can I blame you?"

"But you and I both know very well, no matter how much I quibble, I let the snake go! It was I who made her unable to walk, otherwise the only survivors would be you and her."

"She sacrificed herself already, do you remember?" I asked quietly, "Is it just so that she can't go back? In that situation, you know that a wound on the leg means that every day may kill you worries."

For a while, Xiuyi was silent, and I heard his deep, suppressed breathing, like a dying old dog, and like trying to suppress his over-controlled emotions but couldn't get it right, "Don't think of me so badly. People don't put too much emotion into it, and it's different for you and Aunt Tan."

"For a brief moment, I thought I could be redeemed." Xiuyi said gloomily, "Then my vision was shattered. It is no harder to break a person's heart than to burst a soap bubble."

He didn't make any further explanations, and the question stopped there.

From that day onwards, Xiuyi became more slack, basically never leaving the room door.He shirked that he had to temporarily suspend housework due to sore shoulders and waist due to sitting for a long time, and I took over these chores. I don't feel disgusted that the non-brain-consuming things can help me calm down in the process of doing them.

After another half a month, Xiuyi said that because of his poor appetite, he couldn’t eat, his sense of taste was dull and he couldn’t taste the taste, and he was afraid that what he made would not satisfy me, so the cooking work was also handed over to me. I sympathized with his emotional distress. Jia, also came according to his intention.At this point, Xiuyi had nothing to do, I asked him to eat on time, other than that he just shut himself in the room, I asked him what he was doing, he said he was writing.

I kept him free until he didn't even want to come out to eat, but put a note on the door asking me to put the dishes in front of his closed door.I knocked on his door and told him not to back down anymore, almost as soon as I knocked on the door, Xiuyi immediately opened it from the inside, as if hiding behind the door and waiting for my reaction, even after being taught a lesson, there was still surprise on his face, " I thought you wouldn't knock."

I tilted my head slightly, "Come out to eat."

He agreed obediently, ate all the things I prepared for him, and talked about things without restraint throughout the whole process. It seemed that he was really in a good mood. After eating