You are like the sun and the spring breeze

I have never mentioned to anyone what happened in the second semester of the second year of junior high school and after that.My parents, teachers, high school and college classmates, and friends all knew nothing about my purgatory time.

If you really want to find out when the violence appeared, I think it should be Tang Lingshuang's sudden transfer of schools.

Not long after the second semester of junior high school started, Tang Lingshuang didn't come to class one day, and everyone thought she was on sick leave.But the next day, the news of her transfer spread like wildfire in the school. No one knew the reason for her transfer. Someone asked Zhang Kan, and he said that he had already broken up with Tang Lingshuang and had no knowledge of it.

One gossip after another exploded in the class, and the boy wearing glasses started spreading rumors about Zhang Kan and me.He said that he saw Zhang Kan holding my hand and walking down the street one night, and we went back to his house together. During Tang Lingshuang's relationship with him, I went to Zhang Kan's house alone. Tang Lingshuang was so angry that I transferred to another school.

These stories of his were disseminated through various channels, but each of them bypassed me, and when I heard these stories, it was too late, and my voice was completely drowned in the waves of crusades.

Soon after, Fang Yu transferred to Shanghai, while Zhang Kan injured his Achilles tendon during training and went home to recuperate. Some people said that he might not be able to return to the track.

When I heard the news that Zhang Kan could no longer run, I hid in the toilet and cried for a long time at night. I was sorry, sad, and even more distressed.Yufeng's boy, now that he bid farewell to the track forever, what kind of frustration should he feel in his heart.

Later, whenever I rode past that unpainted house, I would stop on the bridge and wait for a while, varying in length, expecting him to come out of it.But, until I graduated and left Liuzhen, no one came out of that house, not even the figure by the window.

Later, Zhang Kan dropped out of school, and no one knew the reason for his drop out.

So, the young man who once moved my heart disappeared from my life.

His name is Zhang Kan. That year he injured his Achilles tendon and lost the direction of the wind.

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When Tang Lingshuang, Fang Yu, and Zhang Kan, these three people who once lit up my youth in different ways, left one after another, the darkness that belonged to me came completely.

At first, it was a few strange eyes from around.

After that, there are small notes that appear on the desk every day, with various questions.Most of them were related to Fang Yu and Zhang Kan, followed by the sudden dispersal of the group of people who had gathered after I entered the class and the rustling of discussions behind me.

I heard she was very flirtatious when she was in elementary school

I heard that Zhang Kan and Fang Yu came in turns

I heard that Fang Yu never wanted to see this woman again

I heard that she seduced Zhang Kan and was discovered by Fang Yu

I heard she divorced them

Later, my every move was magnified and distorted. They ridiculed and ridiculed loudly, for fear that others would miss the applause for this kind of just act.For me, the school at that time was a jungle more dangerous than any other place. Predators were waiting for an opportunity, and they were always ready to put me on the dinner plate, providing a gluttonous feast for all the hearsay participants: an inexplicable phenomenon appeared on the desk. I would suddenly fall down when I was walking, I would get hit on the head by a basketball while sitting, there would be ridicule behind me during gym class, and girls would follow me and try to record me when I went to the bathroom.

Like a monkey in a circus, I was pulled onto this sightseeing train called the Shame Circuit. They looked into it with playful and dismissive eyes, and the instigator was the baseless but vivid lies of the boy with glasses.

On this campus where the violence is like Russian roulette, I can only shamelessly and silently wait for them to turn their attention to others.But the talk will never disappear. Even if I am not in the center of public opinion, those rumors have already nailed me to the pillar of shame, like the red cross engraved on my body, indelible. They will hunt and kill me forever, like a dog meeting a carrion .

Finally, one afternoon, I erupted. So far in my life, the only madness I experienced was the release from the long-term suppression of violence.

It was the last self-study class on Friday afternoon. All the teachers had a regular meeting, and the class only relied on the monitor to maintain dispensable order.The students in the back row were fighting, and the people around were discussing where to play after school.Although I'm doing my homework, my mind is a little wandering. After all, it's Friday. Who would be unhappy on holiday?Suddenly, someone grabbed my ponytail and pulled me down.

"Ah!" I cried out in pain.

Soon, the man let go of his hand.I turned my head angrily, and the girl at the back table said embarrassingly and innocently: "It's not me."

I knew it wasn't her, because the boys in the back row laughed louder at this time, and the others looked like they were enjoying the show, and some failed to hold back their laughter, and followed the boys in the back row to laugh out loud.

My eye sockets were wet, but I didn't dare to cry, I didn't want anyone to see the joke.I force myself to focus.But, I just wrote two choices, and I pulled it hard again!This time my rubber band was pulled halfway, and my hair was loose on the sides, and I looked like I was insane.This time the laughter was even more endless, and someone in the crowd said "It deserves it!"

When I turned around, those presumptuous and shameless faces were grinning bloody mouths, and those monitors and class cadres who were supposed to maintain the order of the class were silent at this moment, and some people put on their headphones and glanced at me in disgust. , as if I was the instigator of this uproar.In short, no one will help me.

Before the shame and grief in my heart burst my heart, I took out the scissors I used in art class, and cut off the ponytail with a click.Needle drop could be heard in the class, and everyone stared at it with bated breath. I stood up, patted the ponytail on the desk of a boy in the back row, then packed my schoolbag, and left the school without looking back.

After I left school, how to explain my hair to Mr. Wang and Grandma became my primary problem.In the end, I decided to use the 20 yuan pocket money I saved before to cut my hair short.

Because the school has clear regulations on hair, long hair must be tied in a ponytail, while short hair must be at the chin and above.I couldn't tie my hair up anymore, so I had to cut it short to my chin. Frankly speaking, it was very painful for me to have short hair at that time. Able to grow a little longer and cover my face.

When I got home, Teacher Wang asked about hair. I said, long hair is too troublesome, and it takes a long time to wash it, which will delay my study. She believed it.And grandma, the kindest and most amiable person in the world, after seeing that I don't like short hair, she didn't ask why I still cut it if I didn't like it. Instead, she touched my hair and boasted: "We are born with Shufan. Beautiful, with a small apple-like face, almond-shaped eyes, a small cherry mouth, and a passionate little tear mole at the corner of her eye, she looks good with any cut. Long hair is pure and beautiful, and short hair is cute and pretty."

Ever since I was a child, Granny Wanjun was the only one who praised me for my good looks.

After reading this, do you think that because of my sudden feat, I might be able to end my life of being bullied.But the reality is cruel and abnormal, enough to crush all your delusions.

When the class teacher saw the new hairstyle, his eyes only stayed on me for a few seconds. After confirming that the hairstyle conformed to the school rules, he continued to teach.Everyone kept their mouths shut about what happened that day. The class I was in was like a bottomless ocean, and I was tied to a huge rock and sunk together with the bullying I suffered. Only the boundless darkness can witness it.

Growing up, I was not an outstanding person, mediocre, without sharp talent and confidence.Naturally, I can't get God's mercy, let alone someone rescue me from the quagmire.

Therefore, at that time, there was only one way out before me, to study hard and leave this place forever.I can't stay in Liuzhen any longer. From Liuzhen No. [-] Middle School to Liuzhen No. [-] Middle School, nothing will change.

So, I wrote "Don't be afraid!" on the scratches of the desk, and made the most original mounting with scotch tape.I meditated in my heart, persisted, endured, and finally, I was admitted to the city's key high school—the No. [-] Affiliated Middle School of Lucheng University.

After the summer vacation of the third year of junior high school, I packed all my bags and left Liuzhen without any hesitation.The only person I can't bear to part with is Granny Wanjun, but I can't promise her to visit when she has time, because I hate this homeland too much.

Later, except for attending the funeral of the old man at home and Granny Wanjun, I never came back again, completely cutting off all ties with Liu Zhen.