pretending to be graceful

"Are we... looking at the stars?"

On the stone steps, there are now two wonderful flowers that are not afraid of freezing at night in winter.

"Do you like looking at the stars?"

"Do not."

"Coincidentally, neither do I."

Then the two smirked at each other.

Hua Yong stood up, and then gently pulled Gu Shui up again: "Go back, it's too cold outside at this late hour, don't freeze."

Gu Shui lightly looked at the still bustling hotel: "Aren't you going back? Isn't this the task your father entrusted to you?"

Hua Yong shook his head, with a smirk on his lips: "This is for Hua Yong, a single dog, not me - I just got out of singles. Thank you for saving me from this Vanity Fair." He really It's not that he doesn't adapt to this kind of occasion—otherwise he wouldn't be able to apply for this major—it's just that this day is really special, and the contrast between unscrupulous parents makes him feel irritable.

Gu Shui smiled lightly, as if he had always been the same - but Huayong still noticed that this person had changed a bit, his smile was not so empty, it seemed that he no longer tried to float by the clouds to distance himself from others, but instead had a little ... clingy?Of course, this person refers to him.

Because of Gu Shuiqing's little dependence, Hua Yong didn't know what to do, and was flattered.

"I'll take you back? My car is parked in the parking lot of the TV station. It's not far away. Can you still walk there?" Hua Yong didn't know if Gu Shuiqing could support it in this state.

Gu Shuiqing rolled his eyes at him unskillfully—the effect was a bit weird—but such a rich expression was beyond the range of his previous application: "How much do you think I drank? If I drink too much, I will give you amnesia tomorrow." Look. And... you didn't drink at the party? Can you still drive?"

"Quit early." Hua Yong had no choice but to say, "Poor drinking capacity, and he likes to talk nonsense." After saying that, he suddenly stopped in his tracks—what a coincidence, so did Gu Shuiqing—they remembered the same thing.Hua Yong immediately regretted it.

Gu Shuiqing's sluggish mind suddenly slowed down a bit——

Going back in time, at which step did they make a mistake, and at which step did they miss it?It may be the earliest to find that ktv.

Gu Shuiqing thought, it turned out that he had been tentatively opening his heart to Hua Yong so early, and said some harsh words to him—this is what Zhang Wei described, saying that Gu Shuiqing would not speak when he was facing him, and he would never play nice words. said.He also used that casual attitude towards Hua Yong—and then he was choked back by Hua Yong's words.

What was he thinking then? ——Oh, it turned out that Hua Yong didn't think that their relationship was for this reason, and the reason he was willing to be friends was probably just the illusion that Gu Shuiqing was used to putting on.

So Gu Shuiqing resolutely withdrew all his thoughts and expectations that he shouldn't have.

Hua Yong was frightened by this Gu Shuiqing who was quietly thinking about things and not speaking.

Thinking back to that day... that was the first time he realized that he had an indescribable possessive desire for Gu Shuiqing, and he felt extremely disgusted with such a self.Hua Yong has always been a person who treats his friends very well and hopes that they will be very good. He has always done things openly and frankly, but he is actually a little... at a loss for such thoughts.

However, it turned out that he said something that shouldn't be said, which completely pushed Gu Shuiqing away - the most absurd thing is that he still doesn't know what he said, and he can't find an explanation to start with.

Gu Shui let out a breath, telling himself that it was useless to think so much, and walked forward as if nothing had happened, but met Hua Yong's anxious eyes—yes, again.

Gu Shuiqing's heart twitched, and the bitterness slowly spread.

Why is it always Hua Yong who is sad?He did nothing wrong.It is because he is too sensitive, because he is worried about gains and losses, and because he thinks too much.But it is Hua Yong who needs to bear these.

Gu Shui lightly grabbed Hua Yong's cold hand, and smiled: "Why are you nervous? It's okay, it's been so long, why do you care about it?" This is his problem, and Hua Yong should not be frightened.

The expression on Hua Yong's face changed a few times, and he endured a few times, but he still spoke seriously: "Gu Shuiqing, love is not like this."

Seeing Gu Shuiqing's astonished expression, Hua Yong took a step closer, stretched out his hand, and rubbed his head.Then he smiled tolerantly: "It's okay, let's take it slowly. First of all, first of all, you have to remember that I am your lover, not anything else, there is nothing you can't tell me." The sky full of stars reflected in his eyes , flashing a tiny light, "I don't need you to reflect on yourself, blame yourself for all your mistakes and try not to think about it, it doesn't matter if you anesthetize yourself. Why do you torture yourself like this? No one can bear it , it’s better to share.”

Hua Yong put the clasped hands of the two into the pockets of the down jacket, and then pulled him to continue walking: "I like you, not because I like your appearance that is always gentle and calm about everything, not because I like someone who loves me but Someone who doesn't cause me any pressure. I like you as a person and think I know enough about who you really are. And I just want you to."

"It's fine if you're willing to stay out of other people's world; it's fine if you're willing to try to accept them. Just a little bit, don't embarrass yourself... Tsk, make it clear, don't treat me like this, okay?" He tilted his head Smile, look inclusive and encouraging.

Gu Shui's eyes were slightly red.

He let out a breath, watched the white mist dissipate in front of his eyes, and said in a low voice: "Actually, I didn't mean it."

"Well, you're just used to it." Of course Hua Yong understood, "It doesn't matter, I've been chasing you for so long, and I don't mind continuing to work harder. One day, I'll let you believe that you won't get hurt with me, and you don't need to base Build a thick wall to protect yourself, without you..."

"Needless to say it's so complicated," Gu Shui interrupted lightly, "Let me tell you, I'm a little shocked to hear this kind of confession. One or two sentences can still move you, but talking too much really doesn't suit me."

"...you will die if you save face." Hua Yong complained a little.But he and Gu Shuiqing are indeed not in love, and neither need to repeat the pale words of love many times.

Gu Shuiqing chuckled twice: "Let me tell you about the operating procedures of my 'purification system'... Oh, it's the so-called self-repression you mentioned."

Hua Yong immediately concentrated his attention.

"For me, most things are actually unimportant things, and I don't need to pay special attention to them, and I can quickly ignore them. What need this 'purification system' to work are things that can cause me to have any bad emotions : Like making me irritable, making me sad, moving me. These are things I don’t want to have.”

"Actually, you may think that there is nothing special about this kind of emotion, because everyone may want to control this kind of emotion. But the problem is that most people can't control it, or they need to remind them desperately when they think of it occasionally. I 'don't think about it', but I'm not. I go through this and I can quickly make myself feel that this is really not a big deal."

"The time required for purification varies. In short, after the end, I will simplify a complicated problem into fragments that do not need to worry about, and then throw these fragments away-I can say that this simplification process is wrong and lost. Stuff, but it's sorted out very well for my needs."

"Gu Shuisi said that I am forgetful. After she reminded me many times, I may be a little bit. Because I threw away too many things. In fact, you don't have to worry too much about my mentality, because most of the time I don't just say it Say I don't care anymore, I really don't care anymore." Gu Shuiqing looked at a distant person who didn't know where he was and slowly introduced, while Hua Yong quietly squeezed his hand.

Gu Shui sighed lightly, and said, "Actually, you have to thank Xiaosi very much. I can always recover from my unconsciousness immediately. If she hadn't called me, I would have stood at the door until you came out, and then left alone. "

"Why?" Hua Yong was not particularly excited - he really didn't believe that Gu Shuiqing could come to him for no reason.If this person could get around him, he wouldn't be afraid to face his heart for so long.

Gu Shui struggled lightly, and took out his hand, Hua Yong was in a daze - but then he was hugged.

"Hey, I really have to thank Xiao Si." Hua Yong was a little at a loss—whether the gap between the front and the back is a bit big, and he suddenly became so unprepared.Oh, no, there were times, when I was in Yuzhen - nothing happened at that time, everything was relaxed and happy.

"Hua Yong," Gu Shui rubbed lightly, "I don't remember many things from my childhood... But I think those should be very important. You probably know some stories about my family... about my parents."

Hua Yong's heart tightened, and he thought of Gu Shuiqing's family that he had been curious about for a long time but finally didn't pay attention to - the crux of it?

"I don't care about them. I always feel that I don't care about that couple. They are probably the first emotions that my 'purification system' took away from me. I am indifferent to everything about them. They have no effect on me—— But the attitude I really should have should be hatred."

"Hating them makes me criticized, makes me unloved, makes me so afraid of other people's eyes—I'm afraid they have a reason to attack me."

Hua Yong said: "I don't know what it feels like...but I understand. If it were me, I would hate it too. You're right." No one doesn't want a complete family.Especially children.

"It's good not to care about them." Hua Yong's eyes were heavy, but he was still relaxed when he spoke, "Hate is the first stage, and in the end, the best result is actually not to care. You can't let their mistakes keep hurting you." you."

"Don't you think that because of this indifference, I have become a cold and heartless person?"

"What's wrong with indifference? Why do people have to be optimistic and enthusiastic about life? Life is their own, as long as it doesn't affect others, what's wrong? Tell me, have you ever been troubled by your personality?"

"...No." Gu Shuiqing never felt that there was anything wrong with this, nor did he feel that maintaining such a character required him to suppress anything.Maybe it was a mistake at the beginning of its formation, not his original intention, but it has grown up to this day, and it has grown recklessly.

"So, obviously..."

"Ah, no," Gu Shui smiled lightly, remembering the little thought he had long ago—one day it actually came to fruition, "There were exceptions. It stopped me from loving you."

Mr. Hua is stuck.A bunch of words of comfort mixed together into a mess——

Gu Shui let him go, and walked forward on his own.Hua Yong followed in a distracted manner.

City B at night is never quiet. The car lights and various lights on the buildings make the night look like day, but it is more magnificent and seductive than the day-it seems that everything has a psychedelic color at this time.

"You are the person that my 'purification system' can't do anything about, the color that my protective net can't stop, the love that I can't hide from after hiding for so long. I hope that there is no room for criticism in my life... But you never It shouldn't be labeled as 'disrespectful'."

——For you, I am willing to give it a try.

Those emotions that I don’t want to face, all kinds of emotions that I don’t want to touch, they can’t add up to you——

That being the case, what is the need for me to give up on you for them.

The author has something to say:

There will be no more updates tomorrow~ I want to calm down for the exam.

It should be updated next week and it is not stable. There is a very important thing to do.Given that I haven't studied much in one semester, the end of the semester is going to be so painful...

But there will still be more hahaha.