pretending to be graceful

Gu Shuiqing got off the taxi and crossed the road to "Shengyue".

He stood at the intersection, watching the countdown to the red light on the opposite side.

32, 31, 30...

Can you say no?

cannot.If he could refuse, he would not have left at the beginning, will not come back now, and will not let Hua Yong still contact him.

23, 22, 21...

can you accept?

……cannot.What he needs most in life is stability, and what he hates the most is forming a long-term stable relationship with others and having people who can control his emotions, especially when others will have opinions on him because of this.

11, 10, 9...

can you change

……

3, 2, 1...

Why not.

Gu Shui stepped lightly on the second it turned green and stepped out.

——There are not many people in my world, and these people are not all related to me.

He has an indifferent attitude towards his family, and he doesn't bother to put on a show, because he thinks that these people have nothing to do with him—but in fact, these are the people who are closest to him physically.

For Zhang Wei, he can do whatever he wants without bothering to pretend.Because Zhang Wei knows everything about him, and he can accept him without understanding—this is the person he thinks he needs.

He doesn't care what they think, so why not in front of other people?Did he think someone else could be more important than them?

Are the judgments of the world really that important?Do you insist on living in a way that you don't know whether you like it or not?

——In other words, Gu Shuiqing, you don't care about so many things, why can't you let go of just this?Do you want the society to recognize you as a normal person?

——Gu Shuiqing felt that he seemed to have found a little answer.

The phone vibrated, and Gu Shuisi called.

"Brother, Zhang Wei said that you are not calm and you may need me." Gu Shuisi's soft voice came, and someone could vaguely hear some indicators whispered to her, "Wait a minute, I will finish this call. "She covered the microphone and explained.

Gu Shuiqing walked to the door of "Sheng Yue" at this time, and slowed down: "He wants you to persuade me."

Gu Shui chuckled: "He said he thought you should at least calm down before talking about anything else. But I don't want to persuade you at all."

"how?"

"I know this feeling all too well. You know what, I think we've switched sides—I've slowly become like you, and you've been like me once in a while. I was 18 years ago , I have been blundering and bumping under the inexplicable impulse."

"You think that's fine?"

"...No, but I miss it very much. I did some things wrong at that time, but more importantly, I did some things right. These things make me still grateful to this day. The most important thing is that I dare to do—— And now I can't do anything."

"That's because you did something wrong and you had to seek change."

Gu Shuiqing seemed to walk a few steps and then stopped: "But you are different, brother. I made a mistake, so I can only change painfully, but if you make a mistake, you will just return to the previous state. What can I lose?" Brother, you don't know how much I envy you.

"You never asked what my mother told me in Yuzhen, and I followed your example and didn't take the initiative to say it, but I always feel that telling you these things is more meaningful to you than persuading you."

"Tell me, I'll listen." Gu Shuiqing knew that the answer he wanted was near.

He sat on the stone steps beside him, looking at the rarely clear night sky.

"It seems that it is better to lay the groundwork first... Before, I told you that when you were a child, you fought with people until your head was broken. You said that I remembered it wrong. But you never asked me why you fought. I don't know if you thought If I remember wrong, there is no point in asking, or you don’t want to think about it or ask. I know the answer, and I will never remember it wrongly: Someone said at that time, we don’t have a mother, we are wild species.”

"Actually, my mother was still there at that time, and we were still living together, but few people knew of her existence. So I thought he was talking nonsense and it didn't make sense, and you rushed up to fight—I think, at that time, you probably You know, sooner or later they will separate, and sooner or later what he said will become a fact—after all, you have always been more sensitive and smart than me."

"In Yuzhen, I saw my mother again after so many years. Do you know that the first sentence she said to me was 'I'm sorry'. I just realized that she also has feelings and knows—— It's just that this relationship is not as important as what she wants. She told me that if I had maternal love, I wouldn't be angry now and use revenge on them to free myself."

"I make trouble, attract everyone's attention to me, and use it to find love. I admit it. But I didn't expect it, she said. In fact, she is more sorry for you."

"I have my dad's unconditional and careful love, but you have nothing. I have my dad's ubiquitous protection so no one dares to say bad things in my ear, but you have nothing. My pain and sadness come from myself Punishment, and you, you have to endure from the outside world... Where is Yuzhen? Why does my mother go to school outside? What is Yuzhen's attitude towards this kind of thing? Sorry, I never thought about it before."

In fact, the memory of that time is blurred.Gu Shuiqing's childhood memories seem to be divided into time periods, as if he really doesn't remember fighting with anyone - in his impression, it seems that he has always been like this, separated from everything, and doesn't want to He has too much contact with the outside world, but he is not autistic. Instead, he is used to dealing with all kinds of people.So far.

Zhang Wei told him that some aspects of Bai Yue were very similar to him—not his real personality, but how he felt to others.

Gu Shuiqing has never been able to find a point to refute, but now he suddenly realized: Bai Yue is a person who has to become "other people's child" because he is "other people's child", and Gu Shuiqing is, one is to People who become "other people's children".

——Becoming a "child of someone else's family" is so good that you are not qualified to judge.

Those voices no longer exist.

There is no stain, no problem, and it is even better to have no sense of existence, so that you can’t be interested in paying attention to such a person—then no one will find out what happened in the past, and no one will point fingers at him—and you won’t let He remembered his embarrassing past.

Being scolded by others, but unable to refute, weak enough to solve problems with fists, but in the end it was himself who hurt the most.

——What Gu Changming and Jiang Fangfang said is correct.

The one I hate the most has always been Gu Shuiqing.

"Actually Zhang Wei didn't tell me what happened, I have my guess, but it's not important." There was a movement, Gu Shui lightly guessed that she wiped away her tears, "Brother, 'They are sorry for us'—— You told me this, and I’ll tell you again. Everything has a reason, we didn’t become like this for no reason, and we can’t go on like this without knowing it. You know the crux, why can’t you overcome it? What? Is it really that difficult?"

——It’s not that I live in so many rules and regulations for no reason, and there is no imaginary reason that cannot be touched.

A little shadow of my youth—is that the answer?Gu Shuiqing, what are you afraid of?

yes.The strong churning discomfort told Gu Shuiqing, yes.

Thinking about it this way... it seems a little ridiculous.

After sitting for a long time, it was a bit cold.

Behavior is strange, and there are people watching him.

Gu Shui lightly thought about it, it was actually nothing - they were strangers, they just glanced curiously when they passed by, and after walking ten steps, they could forget his appearance; when they got home, they might not even remember this little episode. Can not remember.

At the same time, there is another kind of stranger in this world, like that girl, who silently blesses and supports the humble but great love that has nothing to do with her.

Gu Shuiqing took out his mobile phone and pressed a series of numbers.

The last time he pulled out this number, he was prompted "Hello, the number you dialed is currently on the line" - he doesn't like to make calls, and thinks the best way to contact him is through text messages or meetings, but the result is still the same when he makes a rare call.

I don't know if it will reappear.

"Hello?" A familiar voice trembled, Gu Shuiqing had never seen such an uneasy look.

Gu Shui thought lightly, what a coincidence, he wasn't "on the phone" today.

"I am by the door."

"...Where is the door?" But the sound of him running could be clearly heard.

Gu Shuiqing's heartbeat quickened a bit, he gripped the phone tightly, and said with rare ease: "What do you think?"

While speaking, someone rushed out from the door.

Gu Shuiqing stood up and looked at him in his pocket, as if going back in time - he didn't run away, he didn't fall in love.

Hua Yong rushed in front of him in three or two steps, panting heavily and unable to speak.

"Why do you say you, and I won't leave." Gu Shui lightly looked at Hua Yong's hand that wanted to hug but quickly withdrew.

"Being able to look for one more second is also mine for one more second." Hua Yong's eyes were shining brightly, and he couldn't tell which one was brighter than the stars hanging on his head.

Gu Shui tilted his head lightly and exhaled, paused for a few seconds, then turned back to look at him seriously: "I'm not sober right now."

"I can see it." No matter what he thought, Gu Shuiqing would not take the initiative to contact him when he was awake - let alone drinking alcohol when he saw this person now.

"I've drunk, but I'm not drunk. I know how much I can get drunk." Gu Shuiqing took a step closer, "And now I ask you, although I'm not drunk but a little unconscious, I ask you, should we be together? ?”

Hua Yong finally made the movement that he had been suppressing for a long time——opened his arms and hugged the person he had hopelessly loved for so long: "Yes."

……He cried?

"Hey, I might regret it when I wake up." Gu Shui said lightly.

"Even if you are too drunk to recognize who I am, if you ask casually, I will say 'yes'."

"Oh, that's it." Gu Shuiqing took out his hand and wrapped it around his back, "Stop shaking."

It turns out that the feeling of being hugged is like this - you can feel his heartbeat, feel his trembling, as if something has been opened up, and suddenly everything is clear.

"I just found out today that I'm really a poor little boy. My parents didn't love my mother or my mother, and I had a miserable childhood—but I almost forgot how miserable it was, I just knew it was pretty miserable."

"I love you." Hua Yong whispered softly in his ear: "I can't make up for you in the past, and I will never be absent in the future—as long as you are willing."

"Everything has a reason, don't you wonder what happened to me today?" Gu Shui gently closed his eyes.

"You have found the answer—why you can't accept such an identity. No matter what the answer is, as long as you are willing to say it, I don't believe we can't solve it."

"As long as you want", "we".

How could he, Gu Shuiqing, be able to attract such love with such a broken and empty soul?

"Okay, I do. And then... I love you."

I have loved you from a long time ago.

The author has something to say:

The young couple is about to fall in love. (Does it feel like it’s wonderful to end here!!

The poor little author is about to lose his hair for writing a beautiful love story.

Exam on Sunday, one day off, Saturday depends on the situation~