Xu Kaici's hair is green or not

Xu Kaici said long ago that he couldn't make it through, but unfortunately no one believed him.Not only did he say it the night he quarreled with Xu Chunye, he said it not long after the accident happened, after Cheng Hang took him to see a psychiatrist several times.

It's not that the doctor's level is not good, on the contrary, the doctor's level is very good, and the treatment room is also very warm.Every time he went to the doctor's assistant, he would kindly pour him a cup of hot juice and pass it to him through a straw. If he said he was tired, he could drink it by turning his head.

But he still found it boring, and it was almost the doctor singing a one-man show at the back, and he was just the audience quietly enjoying it under the floor lamp.

Appreciating how everyone stands in their perspective to persuade a disabled person how to love life again and cheer up.

But what's the use?These counseling and persuasion based on the scientific point of view are ultimately from a sidelines perspective.And he is a living person, and some thoughts of a person are inherently superior to science and reason.

Rationality tells Xu Kaici that he is lucky to be alive and should be cherished.But his body, his state, reminded him cruelly.

——Your life will have no meaning for the next few decades.

Once a week for psychological counseling, Cheng Hangyi would personally send him to the psychotherapy room and wait for him outside the door.But when he felt inexplicably depressed again, he heard Cheng Hang click his tongue lightly.Later, he heard Cheng Hang calling someone on the phone in a low voice, complaining, "How would I know? This is already the best psychiatrist, what can I do if he's not good?"

That night, the two of them lay together, separated by a cushion that supported Xu Kaici.

Xu Kaici opened his mouth quietly, and said to the person next to his pillow: "Cheng Cheng, I think I can't bear it any longer."

It was late at night that night, and Cheng Hang was extremely sleepy, but he knew in his heart that the alarm clock to help Xu Kaici turn over was about to ring.At that time, he hadn't adapted to this kind of nightlife, and he was severely deprived of sleep every day.

He turned over and patted Xu Kaici's hand a few times meaningfully to show comfort.

"What are you talking about, you'll be fine. You're just thinking about it all day long."

Still unable to hold his eyelids, Cheng Hang fell into a deep sleep, leaving only Xu Kaici with his eyes open in the dark night.

—I can't get over it.

— you'll be fine.

I can't tell whether it's the expectation from the bottom of my heart, or the sleepy perfunctory.

In short, no one believes that he really won't recover. They all think that after seeing a psychiatrist, Xu Kaici will recover, and he will turn the matter of becoming severely disabled overnight.

In the middle of the night, Xu Kaici let out a heavy breath.

Forget it.

After that night, Cheng Hang found that Xu Kaici's temper had calmed down a lot, and he no longer lost his temper randomly, nor would he feel depressed for no reason.

He started to take medicine actively, and went to see a psychiatrist seriously and regularly. After the treatment, he pressed the joystick himself and came out with a peaceful face.

Later, he stopped going to the psychiatrist, saying that he was already healed, and it was tiring to go to the psychiatrist, and he was too lazy to run again.

Unexpectedly, everyone believed it this time, Mei Jing believed it, grandma believed it, Ning Wang and Sheng Guannan believed it too.

Even Cheng Hangyi, who gets along day and night, thinks he is fine.

When Xu Kaici said that he couldn't make it through, everyone didn't believe it, but when he said he was fine, everyone believed it again.

Xu Kaici thought it was funny, he looked at Cheng Hang every day, and his eyes collided, why did he even believe Cheng Hang?It turns out that when the four eyes meet, you may not be able to see the sincerity in the other person's eyes.As long as he has good acting skills, he can deceive even if he wants to.

Seeing Cheng Hangyi's happy look, he also smiled at him.

Forget it.

-

The sky gradually darkened, and only a small lamp on the wall remained on in the ward, shining on the faces of Cheng Hangyi and Xu Kaici, Cheng Hangyi could see Xu Kaici's slender eyelashes trembling slightly, as if under the lamp. Dancing butterflies.

He hugged Xu Kaici and carefully turned Xu Kaici to let him look at him, and he didn't forget to reach into the quilt to straighten his legs, just because this posture is not good to smooth out the wrinkles on his clothes.

He stared fixedly at Xu Kaici, and couldn't help pecking his chapped lips, "I believe you can't take it anymore, but you have made it too, you have been going through it for almost five years, you can't hold on any longer Is it? Just like before, for me, or for someone who still cares about you."

Xu Kaici raised his hand and pushed Cheng Hangyi, his thin hand rested on Cheng Hangyi's chest, and was driven by the remaining muscles to rub it a few times.

He tried his best to move to his mouth and wiped his mouth with his backhand several times, maybe it was too hard, a trace of scarlet oozing from his chapped lips.He still looked at Cheng Hangyi coldly, without the tenderness he had at the beginning. He also said: "People who really care about me will not see me continue to suffer so much, and will not kiss me on the premise that I am not willing." .You get down now, I don't have the habit of climbing into my bed with my ex-boyfriend."

Cheng Hang is very clear about this point, Xu Kaici has an unusual indifference towards his ex.When they first got together, they were found out by Xu Kaici's little ex. I don't know if the little ex had been to Xu Kaici's small apartment too many times, and he even knew the password to open the door.

One day Xu Kaici took Cheng Hang back to the apartment, turned on the light in the room and saw his little ex lying on the bed, Xu Kaici directly wrapped the child in a quilt and carried him out the door.

Closing the door and changing the password was done in one go, and before Cheng Hang could react, this not-so-troublesome trouble had already been resolved.

That night, he lay under Xu Kaici, and asked Xu Kaici with a smile, "Aren't you too indifferent? What if someone freezes to death?"

Xu Kaici pulled his lips disapprovingly, "He's not a fool, won't he leave when he's cold? I don't have the habit of climbing into my bed with my ex."

He knew early on that Xu Kaici was a cold and arrogant person, but Cheng Hang thought that he would be the exception.

It's a pity that he is not, and he is not qualified to lie with Xu Kaici now, even if he just wants to be one of his cushions.

He helped Xu Kaici to lie down, straightened his limbs for him, took off his clothes, and put Xu Kaici's severely drooping feet on it.

Only then did he get off the bed with a pale face. As soon as he got off the bed, Xu Kaici immediately turned his head away from him.

What else can I do, I can't get up and drive him out, I don't even have the strength to push him, so I can only choose not to look at him, and I can only wait for him to choose to give up.

"That's considered listening to you, respecting you, and not stopping you, so you must eat something? Auntie said you haven't eaten since last night. I looked at the food on the table and it wasn't suitable for you. , I made some at home, can you eat something when you get up?" Cheng Hang sat on the side, not knowing what to do for a long time, and finally saw the thermos on the coffee table, and then found the topic again.

"Don't eat, what annoys me the most now is hearing the word eat, Cheng Hang, can you be quiet, if I can't drive you away, can you just keep your mouth shut?"

Xu Kaici felt that Mei Jing and Xu Chunye were more clean when they were around. Xu Chunye would just keep his face long and didn't say a word. The sound stopped.

Anyway, Cheng Hang didn't make any noise, either talking or crying.

He said that he was thick-skinned, and he really had the most accurate self-evaluation of himself.

As soon as Cheng Hang heard Xu Kaici's hoarse voice, he couldn't hold back for a while, and tears fell down as he spoke.

"But you will be hungry, even if you are not hungry, you will vomit again after a while, but you will feel even more uncomfortable if there is nothing in your stomach. Listen to your throat, is it comfortable to have stomach acid? Even if you want to die, you can't still torture yourself before you die Right? You just eat, I promise I won’t say a word tonight after you’ve finished eating, and I can sit on the other side of the sofa, far away from you so as not to upset you.”

Cheng Hangyi's voice was fierce when it was hard, but when it choked up, it sounded very soft.Like a kitten's paw, it kept scratching Xu Kaici's stagnant heart.

Xu Kaici closed his eyes and let out a long breath: "You'd better do what you say."

He raised his arms slightly as he spoke.As soon as Cheng Hang saw his movements, he immediately laughed again, put his arms down, and said to Xu Kaici with a narrow smile: "Don't worry, I'll shake the bed and give you some warm water. You'll be sure to get up like this after lying down for a long time." I'm going to get dizzy."

He went around to the end of the bed, and slowly rolled the bed up, but it didn't go very high, but just tilted the head of the bed a little, so that it was easier for Xu Kaici to eat and drink without making him dizzy and nauseous.

Fearing that Xu Kaici would not be able to sit still, he also took the pillow from the sofa and stuffed it beside Xu Kaici's side, so that Xu Kaici could lean on the bed firmly.

He was still somewhat dizzy, his blood pressure was lower than usual recently, and he hadn't eaten anything for nearly a day and a night, so he closed his eyes and groaned several times because of the discomfort.

Until his lips touched the soft straw, Xu Kaici consciously bit the straw and drank several mouthfuls of warm water mixed with glucose to feel better.

"Don't drink it. This water is so sweet. If you drink too much, your mouth will become bitter." When he kissed Xu Kaici just now, Cheng Hangyi seemed to taste the bitterness on his lips, and it felt even worse in his mouth.Seeing that he drank a lot in one breath, he was afraid that he would feel more uncomfortable later, so he was busy pulling the straw out of his mouth.

Xu Kaici slowly opened his eyes, and saw Cheng Hang sitting opposite him with an insulated box on his end, blowing cold air in small mouthfuls.

Sensing that Xu Kaici was looking at him, Cheng Hang raised his eyes and handed the spoon to Xu Kaici's mouth, "It's pork ribs and wax gourd, but the ribs are a bit hard and I didn't serve them, so let's eat some winter melon first. Not tired, try it."

It's really refreshing. The wax gourd has been stewed until it becomes soft, but it's much better than mush. At least you can see what you ate.Xu Kaici was very satisfied with this, and Xu Kaici had already opened his mouth and swallowed the wax gourd without Cheng Hang making a fuss.

Cheng Hangyi didn't know how to cook at first, but after Xu Kaici's accident, when the two of them temporarily stayed at grandma's house, grandma taught Cheng Hangyi hand in hand.Under the education of grandma's slap from time to time, Cheng Hangyi's cooking skills have improved a lot since the two moved back to Shengshi Lanwan, and almost all the dishes Xu Kaici likes to eat.

Today, it was determined whether Xu Kaici would like it or not, so he deliberately made a little more. As expected, the few pieces of winter melon he put in the thermos were successfully fed into Xu Kaici's stomach, and he also drank several mouthfuls of soup.

When Xu Kaici was rare and gentle, although he still didn't speak, at least he didn't resist, even Cheng Hang wiped his mouth obediently.

Occasionally, he would frown because of difficulty swallowing, but luckily he ate all of it, Cheng Hang felt that this trip tonight was not in vain.

Even if Xu Kaici still vomits after a while, it's better than retching with nothing in his stomach. He heard Xu Kaici's retching sound during the day, and he felt so distressed that he wanted to suffer for Xu Kaici.

After Xu Kaici finished eating, Cheng Hang was not in a hurry to put him down to lie down, but then brazenly hugged Xu Kaici in his arms, put his hands on Xu Kaici's stomach and rubbed it in circles.

"Cheng Hangyi is really shameless. You said that I ate and you stayed away from me. Why are you shamelessly coming over now?"

Cheng Hang continued to rub, and replied to Xu Kaici with a playful smile: "You have to digest food for you, have you forgotten? Or is it that your family doesn't rub it for you?"

Xu Kaici suddenly fell silent and did not continue to break up with Cheng Hang.

He couldn't refute this. Since he got home, no one has helped him rub his stomach after meals. He hasn't done these actions for a long time, and it's been a long time since he thought about it.

But he didn't say anything himself, he himself found it troublesome, so why bother to ask others.

Xu Kaici was rubbed very comfortably, leaning on Cheng Hangyi's body in silence, feeling a little sleepy after smelling his familiar smell.

His eyes were half closed, letting go of his resistance and enjoying the tenderness of this moment without any trace.

He even felt that if this moment was placed two years ago, or earlier, would he be able to survive for a few more years?

Forget it.

What's the use of saying this, there is no time machine to let him go back, and he can't say those words that complain about the past.

When he was drowsy, he heard Cheng Hang ask him in a low voice: "Did you not be able to fall asleep before, but you didn't want others to worry about it, so you learned the trick of pretending to be asleep?"

Xu Kaici didn't speak, but shrugged his shoulders and found a more comfortable position to lean against.Because of the movement of the shoulder, the arm moved uncontrollably a few times, leaving a rustling sound on the quilt, but it quickly returned to calm.

He heard a little laughter from above his head, and then continued: "No wonder you used to reach out to touch me in the middle of the night. I thought it was because of your muscle tension, but I didn't expect it to come to see if I was still there."

Xu Kaici was stunned for a moment, and didn't dare to move anymore, as if all the secrets were revealed by Cheng Hangyi today.

He hid it cleverly, but there was still a day when he was discovered.

Those fears and tensions were especially obvious in the middle of the night, but they were firmly suppressed by him, and he only dared to reach out and touch Cheng Hangyi who was sleeping soundly beside the pillow through convulsions.

Fortunately, not bad, there is someone sticking to him.

This was the only consolation that allowed him to persevere in all the time he couldn't bear.