Instinctive reaction

Lin Leyang dreamed that a stationery store was filled with colorful hair ties and headbands, and there were young students around him. He heard himself asking, "Can I grow my hair up?"

How old was he then? 25 or 26?None of this matters.

The picture became a blurred layer again, covering his eyes, he couldn't see clearly, he couldn't see who was standing beside him, but he knew the name of that person.

Ji Wanke.

He said it silently in his heart, and heard his own voice say again: "I raise my hair, will you comb it for me?"

He didn't get an answer.

The dream continues.

The water in the bathroom was warm, and it washed over his body warmly and coolly. He washed himself very clean, and stepped on the beige floor with his bare feet, leaving inconspicuous water marks, step by step.

It had just rained heavily that day, and intermittent traces of rainwater were left on the windows, like lingering silk threads no longer lingering, like a spider's web just half-woven.

The temperature in the room was a little cold, but he didn't notice it at all.

In an unfamiliar room, there was a familiar spectacle case next to the pillow, and he sat down and stroked it, as he did many times before.

Lin Leyang is a person who is too afraid of being lonely.

Before, I had the love of my parents and sister, and then I met Ji Wanke, that person is a typical good-looking and bad-tempered person, the only thing is to be more patient with him.

Lin Leyang grew up soaked in a honeypot.

He has always had no big ambitions, he is carefree and free. He has studied painting for a long time and said that he will not learn if he does not learn. He was able to tell his classmates frankly: "I don't have any lofty ideals."

He has the confidence to say these words, and his family is harmonious enough to make others envious.

Even if you have no ambition or ideal, you can live your life safely and happily.

Lin Leyang's eyes flicked slowly across this unfamiliar room, from the lights on the ceiling to the trash can on the floor covered with white trash bags. The slippers are disposable, but this is not a hotel.

What will the living room look like, and what will the kitchen look like.

Sitting on the bed with his legs crossed, he thought as he stroked his left wrist—there was nothing there, no ugly scars, no pain.

He is dreaming.

Dreams in every sense.

Suddenly I want to understand something.

He lives here, he buys the garbage bags, and he also chooses the lamps above his head. The trash cans and trash cans seem to be different. He is not the only one living in this house.

— This is his home.

Lin Leyang woke up from the dream, this time he woke up for real, the pillow was wet, even his temples were wet, he wiped it off indiscriminately, and more tears poured out of his eyes, his heart was burned and torn, Even the scab on the wrist hurts, sobbing is like mourning, stuffed in the throat, the sadness is swallowed together, and there is no way to vent it.

Someone opened the door and walked in quickly. He fell into an overly warm embrace, and when he looked up, he saw Li Chuan looking at him anxiously.

His hand fell on Li Chuan's arm, like a person falling into the water dragging a plank, like a person falling off a cliff grabbing a branch, and he grabbed Li Chuan.

Zhao Ruixiao followed behind, and stopped at the door tactfully, listening to the young man's voice comforting the person in his arms, his eyes fell on Lin Leyang's bedside, next to his pillow, the glasses case was still there, and there was a pair of silver-rimmed glasses lying safely in it .

It was Ji Wanke's birthday present to him.

Lin Leyang always felt that he was immature and always wanted to decorate himself with foreign objects. At first he straightened his hair, and then he wanted a pair of glasses.

Ji Wanke said that it was not necessary, and gave Lin Leyang a pair on his 26th birthday, and took him to measure the number. He drew a circle around his glasses with his fingers, and said softly, "It still looks good without them."

Lin Leyang promised him: "I won't wear it when I see you."

Lin Leyang's birthday was in March, and the accident happened in May.

Ji Wanke's death came as quickly and suddenly as the rain that day, without giving anyone a chance to react.

Fate was not forgiving to him at all.

Lin Leyang's growing up is divided into three stages, one is when he enters university, the other is the heavy snowfall in the year of graduation, and the third is the accident two years ago, in which Ji Wanke died in a car accident.

Since then, Lin Leyang has hardly worn that pair of glasses in public. He puts it in the most accessible place, protects it very well, and wants it to accompany him to sleep.

No way, it was given to him by Ji Wanke.

He would wear it to see Ji Wanke only on the day of the memorial.

This is exactly the opposite of what was promised.

but it does not matter.

Anyway, Ji Wanke couldn't jump out angrily and teach him a lesson.

Or in other words - he wished that the other party could cheat a dead body.

Of course it's impossible, Ji Wanke is dead.

There was no rescue and no long wait. The truck lost control and crashed in the heavy rain.

Die on the spot.

Zhao Ruixiao looked at An Ran's glasses case lying beside the bed for a long time and couldn't regain his senses.

Even if the memory disappeared, he couldn't let it go.

what should I do now.

He was at a loss for a moment, his brows furrowed and then loosened.

Li Chuan clearly knew, he knew a lot, he knew that Lin Leyang had a lover before and that person died.

This is something that Lin Leyang has never known.

However, he is still here, gently and firmly comforting Lin Leyang who lost control of his emotions due to the dream.

why?

A voice in his heart asked.

The time Li Chuan and Lin Leyang have been in contact is not enough to support such a huge love, and the same is true for Lin Leyang. He never depends on anyone, except Ji Wanke.

Lin Leyang is actually very independent. If he is willing, he can pretend that he is not sick, that he is not anorexic, and that he is not dealing with it. No one will see it. He will only be calm until the matter can no longer be hidden. Said: "It's okay, it will be fine soon, you don't have to worry about me."

He lived as if he died.

Lin Leyang stopped crying, but there was a new despair in his heart that overwhelmed him.

Ji Wanke's name seemed to be engraved into his bones, filling his past memories.

But now the person who comforts him and hugs him by his side is obviously Li Chuan.

I am a terrible person.He repeated this sentence in his heart, trying to push the boy away, but got a kiss on his lips.

Lin Leyang's eyes became hot again, and he said aggrievedly: "You can't kiss me now."

Li Chuan was taken aback for a moment, then pursed his lips and asked, "Why? Brother."

He always calls himself "brother", sometimes very gentle and sometimes a bit mean.

No matter what kind of Lin Leyang likes it very much.

He likes Li Chuan.

The beating of the heart can't lie, love can't lie, when he saw Li Chuan, he couldn't help but want to like and love.

Lin Leyang didn't answer, because Li Chuan kept kissing him, kissing his forehead, cheeks and eyebrows, as if he was refuting him - why can't I kiss him, I just want to kiss him.

Even Lin Leyang, who is childish, likes this.

He likes him so much.

The dream split him in half.

Half trapped in memory, half in reality.

When Lin Leyang collected his emotions, he found that there was still a person standing at the door, and he was not very well.

Li Chuan was calm, his arms were still firmly on Lin Leyang's waist.

Zhao Ruixiao finally took a step forward, "Le Yang, did you have a nightmare?"

Lin Leyang shrank back subconsciously behind Li Chuan, and Li Chuan naturally protected him.

Zhao Ruixiao laughed, "Is this treating me as a bad guy?"

"No, but the dream is not important." Li Chuan turned his head, put his hand on the back of Lin Leyang's neck and put his head against his head, "I don't remember the best."

Lin Leyang was a little embarrassed. After all, there were outsiders watching. He wanted to break free, but Li Chuan hugged him further. His youthful aura covered his whole body, and he leaned his head on his shoulder, "Don't reject me."

Lin Leyang immediately surrendered, allowing Li Chuan to embrace him under the eyes of others.

Even the point of declaring sovereignty is very similar to Ji Wanke.

Zhao Ruixiao showed a helpless smile.

After Li Chuan made such a fuss, Lin Leyang really couldn't remember the scene in his dream. He lowered his eyelashes and quietly held the corner of Li Chuan's clothes with his fingers.

When Wu Xu arrived, several people were already sitting at the dining table.

He carried a bag of cherries, put the plastic bag on the table, and the round fruit spread out, spreading red on the table, "Would you just wait for me?"

Zhao Ruixiao shrugged noncommittally.

But Li Chuan wanted to tell the truth: "It's because the rice hasn't been cooked yet."

Wu Xu: "Hehe."

He looked at Lin Leyang who was sitting next to him. Lin Leyang stopped talking, and when he became quiet, he looked more like he was before amnesia. Even if he cut off his hair, he couldn't hide his aesthetic fragility, like a tall crystal cup with a glass wall. It is too thin, and it will vibrate when flicked lightly, always reminding people to handle it with care, otherwise it will shatter.

He is broken.

Lin Leyang was in a bad mood, and he didn't take the initiative to speak until the second half of the meal, and said to Li Chuan, "I can't eat so much."

Li Chuan poured the rice into his own bowl, but he didn't continue to eat on his own, but he had to feed Lin Leyang a spoonful after a few mouthfuls.

At first Lin Leyang shook his head and refused, but Li Chuan withdrew his hand, and after a while, he handed it to Lin Leyang again as if he had lost his memory.

Lin Leyang glanced over Wu Xu and Zhao Ruixiao, Wu Xu simply pretended to be blind and buried himself in his meal.

He was as relieved as if stealing the bell from his ears, he held the spoon and rice grains in his mouth, and ate them with the tip of his tongue.

Under the table, Lin Leyang left the slippers where they were, stepped barefoot on the floor, moved restlessly, and rubbed against Li Chuan's legs, but only on his legs.

Li Chuan put his hand down and squeezed his thigh, but instead of stopping him, there was a little smile in his eyes, more like encouraging and pampering him.

It shouldn't be the eyes of a young man looking at the elders, the eyes are full of love, not longing for love, but giving love, as if they have known each other for many years, they love each other, so they are lingering.

The author says:

In the future, it should be updated every other day, at least four times a week, and if time permits, it will be updated, but I have been busy recently, and I am a bit at a loss.

You will be notified when you add more updates, not to mention it will be the next day

After thinking for a long time, I still want to say, thank you for being willing to slow down and listen to my story, I have always been slow, thank you for being willing to stop for me