fifth year of divorce

Qin Weiji loves me so much that he is so used to me.

When I crawled on the bed and watched his movies, I didn’t want to go downstairs to eat. He couldn’t bear to blame me. He set up a table for me on the bed and brought the meals upstairs one by one.

I don't like seafood, I can't even smell the smell, and there is no seafood on the table at home.

I was obsessed with playing games. In order to let me go to bed early, he moved the gaming table to his study. When I was beaten to death and screamed, he would not reprimand me, and quietly flipped through the script.

Only occasionally when he was in a hurry to swear, he would frown, "Yaoyao, if you swear again, go to bed now."

I don't even know why Qin Weiji loves me so much.

There is never a shortage of good-looking skins in the entertainment industry. Qin Weiji is richer than me and knowledgeable. I can't tell what is attractive about me.

I became more and more unscrupulous when Qin Weizhi's love pampered me.

I'm getting more and more critical, more and more difficult.

Qin Weiji doesn't care about me, I give what I want, I still don't think it's enough, and I always get angry at him.

When he gets angry, he often speaks indiscriminately, "Qin Weiji, I'm not a star, do you still love me?"

Mr. Qin always rubs my hair, "Love."

I slapped his hand off, "Fart! Your parents don't like me at all. If I'm not even a star, why do you still love me!"

"Don't overthink it."

"They think I'm an actor with no culture and only pornographic news, and you're an actor too, why should they despise me!"

Qin Weiji stopped talking, knowing that any further talk would be a quarrel, so he simply went out as usual.

Elegance can’t be faked, I look at the human-looking people under the camera, and my uneducated vulgarity in private is fully exposed in front of Qin Weiji.

I felt so wronged, and while Qin Wei sent out, I secretly went to the nightclub to play.

He was so drunk that he didn't come home until midnight.

Qin Weiji was waiting for me in the bedroom. I was unconscious from drinking that night, and I didn't know what I said or did.

I only know that since then, Mr. Qin no longer loves me.

The incident of going to the nightclub that night was photographed by the paparazzi, and a series of black drafts became hot searches overnight.

The downfall of a new generation of stars, Xie Yaoyin's new boyfriend in a nightclub, cheating and drug use, all trumped-up charges were all pinned on me.

Qin Weiji and the public relations team worked for me for three days before the online marketing account quieted down.

But my image was tarnished overnight.

Brother Quan's cold and hard face was a little cracked, "How fucking grown up are you? Don't you know that you are a public figure? What's the matter, after stopping work for a while, you feel like an ordinary person? You have the ability to quit the circle." ?”

I still didn't admit my mistake, "Retire as soon as possible."

He Nanquan was very angry, "I can't control you, let Qin Wei send over to control you."

When Qin Wei sent it in, I bit my lip and looked unhappy, the lingering anger on my face still lingering.

"Nanquan said you want to quit the circle?"

His voice was a little cold, and I suddenly felt a little scared when I heard it.

"Ah."

He was silent for a while, and sat opposite me, "Xie Yaoyin, do you know what you are talking about?"

He seldom calls my name, rarely talks to me like this, I feel a little uncomfortable and turn my head to the side without opening my mouth.

"You don't have a father who is the secretary of the provincial party committee. You have to be responsible to yourself for every word you say. What else can you do after retiring from the circle? What job can you find with your education? Or do you plan to do nothing for the rest of your life? Done?"

I raised my head in shock, my eyes turned red for a moment, "You despise me?"

Qin Weiji closed his eyes helplessly, as if he didn't want to communicate with me anymore.

I stood up, with a crying voice, "Qin Weiji, as long as my mother is still alive and my father is by my side, is it your turn to despise me?!"

I'm not a mermaid, I'm just a cabbage.

After this quarrel, Qin Weiji joined the group. No matter how far he went, he would come back once a week, and if he couldn’t come back, he would make a video call with me.

But this time, half a month passed without hearing from him, and he was nowhere to be seen.

I can't sleep well every night, and sometimes I always feel that he is back when I am half asleep, and then I turn on the light, and I am still alone in the bedroom.

I complained and regretted it.

But more is the sadness that everything can't go back without knowing it.

I have an inferiority complex, I am not worthy of Qin Weiji, if I were Lu Qian, if I were the son of the secretary of the provincial party committee, how could I make myself and my marriage miserable every day because I am not worthy of my lover .

I think that if Qin Weiji doesn't quarrel with me, it's fine. Once he quarrels with me, it's like killing half my life.

When Qin Wei sent back, I was sleeping on the recliner with the blanket half covered on my body.

"stand up."

I opened my eyes and saw him standing by my side. In just one month, my lover who was in love with each other made me feel strangely cold.

"Go downstairs for dinner."

I was angry and didn't want to talk to him, so I turned over and closed my eyes again.

He pulled me up, his face was full of anger, "Xie Yaoyin! Are you still young? Can't you even take care of yourself when you are away from others? See for yourself what you look like?!"

Of course I know what I look like, and I don't want to, but I can't eat or sleep.

"You don't care what I look like, you fucking don't like me, so go find another one!"

Qin Weiji slowly let go of his hand, his indifferent face became a little moved, and Qingling's eyes became a little sad, "Let's get a divorce."

I stood stiffly in the same place, my ears lost my voice because of the indifferent words, and my face, which had not seen the light for many days, became paler and paler.

On the day my mother left, I stood outside the operating room like this, my ears were deaf and I couldn't hear anything, my hands were trembling, and I didn't even have the courage to say goodbye.

I am a cowardly person myself, and I have never fought for anything except for my mother.

I didn't do many bad things, and I wasn't the one with the dirtiest soul, but I was abandoned again and again.

"You don't want me anymore?"

"You can't let me go."

"I only have you."

"I was wrong, I will correct it."

"Brother Qin, I don't dare anymore."

"You are my husband, whoever abandons me, you can't abandon me."

I don't know if Qin Weiji paid attention to me, I couldn't hear anything.

When I came back to my senses, I was alone in the bedroom.

I sat on the floor and looked at the moonlight outside which was so cold that it made people shiver, but my heart had never been so peaceful like this moment.

Does Jiang Zhishen feel the same way as I do?Did he also feel that the world had no end that night, that life was hopeless, and that loneliness was the cause?

My legs and feet were weak, but the strength in my hands was exhausted, and the blood flowed down my wrists on my favorite carpet.

I also want to leave a letter to my Mr. Qin, but unfortunately my writing is limited and I can't leave any eternal swan song, so I simply don't write it.

Qin Weiji, love you once, why are you willing to call me a hundred years of loneliness?

I had a distant dream.

I was a little groggy, and I seemed to see a beam of light in my dizziness.

The light wheel rotates, turning out a deep angle.

At the end of the light, I don’t know who lit a lamp. At the end of the lamp, there is a hazy figure, the closer it is, the clearer it is, and it has never been in a daze for a moment.

The light obscured half of his face, but I could see it very clearly.

Qin Weiji pursed his lips lightly, drawing a small arc, and his clear eyes pierced something.

Perhaps it was too strong, and after a dazzling light, it was pushed out of the darkness.

I opened my eyes suddenly, gasping for breath, with an unsteady tremor in that breath.

I raised my hand and touched a patch of moisture, and when I looked out the window, the sky was a sad and strange black.

And the figure in the dream was sitting beside my bed, and the faint light at the head of the bed made him looming.

I raised my hand to touch him, but I didn't have the strength.

"Brother Qin..."

The figure trembled a bit, and looked at me stiffly from the side.

His profile was hidden in the darkness, so I couldn't see clearly.

He raised his hand to turn on the light, and what caught his eyes was the bloodshot eyes in his cold eyes, haggard and desperate.

I wanted to comfort him, but I was so irritated by his red eyes that I couldn't speak.

He stood up slowly, a little indifferently, "Is it fun?"

I didn't play, I want to say, but I can't bear it.

"Xie Yaoyin, you are the most fucking bastard I have ever met, you have no conscience, you are a fucking beast."

He said almost all the dirty words he knew in the most gentle tone.

When he was sad, I seemed to die again.

"If you want to die, you should die far away, not here."

He turned and looked at me, maddeningly, "I don't want to see you again."

I lost all strength and laughed and cried at him.

I play big.

Mr. Qin doesn't want me anymore.