God, I will sleep with you today

Stay in my house forever.

Zhao Wood: I said I can't live on, okay?

Guo Xunli: Of course not

Guo Xunli: Why are you silent?What are you thinking?

Zhao Wood: I'm just wondering why you suddenly remembered the account of the bearded boy today?But now we're cleared up.

Guo Xunli: Hmph, you have a good idea, what is the settlement, don't forget that I still have a contract of sale in my hand.

Zhao Wood: [Inside] Parents!You are spirits in heaven!Help me get rid of this scourge! ! !

【The next morning Main Street】

【Selling buns】

Ji Zirang: Oh, Zhao Wood, why is your neck so big that a mosquito bites it?

Zhao Wood: Oops!

Ji Zirang: What do you hide in a bag?There is something shameful, and it is not on the face.

Zhao Wood: Ji Zirang, it's time for you to marry a wife.

Ji Zirang: How does this involve me marrying a wife?Does it matter?

Zhao Wood: I really sympathize with you.

Seventh

Characters: Zhao Wood, Guo Xunli, Guo Xunrang, Guo Grandma

{Scene: Guo's house}

Guo Xunli: Here, I have something for you.

Zhao Wood: What? [Opens the box] Huh?It's a jade pendant.

Guo Xunli: Does it look good?

Zhao Wood: It's ugly, like a broken ladle.Where did you pick it up?

Guo Xunli: I picked it up, I bought it for hundreds of taels.This carving is Ganoderma lucidum.

Zhao Wood: How many taels for such a broken thing?I don't believe it, you're notoriously picky... [The rest of the words are stared back with a knife]

Guo Xunli: If you don't want me, I will retreat now!

Zhao Wood: You are so stingy, you give it away and you get it back.

Guo Xunli: Don't you want it?

Zhao Wood: Who said I don't want it?Did I say it?bring it to you.

Guo Xunli: I will wear it for you

Zhao Wood: Huh?You have given me something, should I send you something back tomorrow?

Guo Xunli: Tell me what you want to give as a gift?

Zhao Wood: I will go to the street tomorrow to buy you a green hat. [Eating a burst of chestnuts] Oh!Just kidding, why do you still do it?

Guo Xunli: By the way, grandma just told me to let you go to her place and drink tea with her.You go now.

Zhao Wood: Oh

Guo Xunli: [a kiss]

Zhao Wood: I found that you often kiss me recently.

Guo Xunli: Who said I kissed you often only recently?

Zhao Wood: When did you kiss before?

Guo Xunli: hum

Zhao Wood: Oh, I said that you sometimes sleep and get up in the middle of the night and eat me as a bun.I thought you were sleepwalking, and I couldn't bear to wake you up! ! !

Guo Luobo: Mr. Zhao, the old lady sent someone to urge you to come over

Zhao Wood: Here it comes

【Make tea】

Grandma Guo: Wood, why do you have a small broken dipper hanging around your neck?

Zhao Wood: Oh, this is not a broken ladle, it is said to be a Ganoderma lucidum carved.Presented by Guo Xunli.

Grandma Guo: Does he know how to give away things?I thought he was just in and out.

Zhao Wood: I was also taken aback. He said that the pendant costs several hundred taels.

Grandma Guo: How many hundreds?Wood, I have never seen my grandson be so generous to anyone.

Zhao Wood: Hey

Grandma Guo: Okay, today I will tell you about it.

Zhao Wood: What's the matter, Grandma?

Grandma Guo: Wood, actually, we all know

Zhao Wood: Know?what do you know?

Grandma Guo: You disguised yourself as a woman and came to our Guo family, in fact, it was for our Xun Li, right?

Zhao Wood: Grandma, why do you think so?

Grandma Guo: Don't be embarrassed, I asked my grandson, and he likes you very much.

Zhao Wood: He... really said that?

Grandma Guo: Hehe, look at you, you are laughing out loud, hahaha.

Zhao Wood: [Embarrassed] Eh heh heh [Inner heart] This is obviously a wry smile, okay? ? ?

[on the street]

Ji Zirang: Zhao Wood, I've noticed that you've been getting lazy recently.I often ask for sick leave, and sometimes it takes you a long time to come out to handle a case.Do you still remember your mission of eradicating violence and bringing peace to the people?

Zhao Wood: I didn't do it on purpose, it's true.

Ji Zirang: Is your wife going to give birth?

Zhao Wood: Do you know all this?you bachelor.

Ji Zirang: They are all bachelors, who is better than whom?

Zhao Wood: Believe me, I am much better than you.Do you want me to take you to open your eyes?

Ji Zirang: I'm afraid of you?where to go

Zhao Wood: Juhua Building

Ji Zirang: Hey, I am a gentleman, how can I go to that kind of fireworks place!

Zhao Wood: Are you afraid?Alas, some people are still young in their 20s, and it seems that they are destined to be bachelors for the rest of their lives.

Ji Zirang: Go!go immediately!

【brothel】

Guo Xunli: The aphrodisiac wine you gave me last time was quite useful, give me two more cans.

Bustard: Master Guo, two cans are too much.It's not good to drink too much, but a small cup at a time will be serious.

Guo Xunli: I'll take it back and drink it slowly. By the way, I also heard that your scent is very good.

The old bustard: Master Guo, with your search method, I can't continue my business.

Guo Xunli: That's it, then you pay back the money you owe me, and let's settle the account.

Bustard: Longyue, bring two cans of aphrodisiac wine to Mr. Guo.

Ji Zirang: Oh, Zhao Wood, look, isn't this the second young master of the Guo family, Guo Xunli?Playing with men again.Zhao Wood, what do you think these men are thinking?How can it be so good?It's okay if it's on the top, how shameless is the person on the bottom?Why are you willing to shamelessly let a man ride on you?Cough, Zhao Wood, why are you staring at me so viciously?

Zhao Wood: Nothing, what do you think of the young man with the wine next to him?

Ji Zirang: Good-looking, if I hadn't seen it with my own eyes, I wouldn't believe there is such a good-looking man in this world

Zhao Wood: That's why you're blind!

Ji Zirang: How are you talking, Zhao Wood?I am telling the truth.

Zhao Wood: So what do you think, how do I compare with him?

Ji Zirang: How can you two compare?What a world of difference!

Zhao Wood: What a world of difference?

Ji Zirang: Let me put it this way, I imagine in my heart that I am a couple with him, and I don't feel awkward at all, but if I change the partner to you, I will get goose bumps all over my body just thinking about it! !Totally unacceptable!

Zhao Wood: Young master, how can I not compare to him?

Ji Zirang: Let's compare them together. You only lose 3% to him in terms of appearance. In fact, you are also quite handsome, but you are a little less charming.But when it comes to temperament, you lose him by 7%!

Zhao Wood: Ji Zirang!I understand you today!You can investigate the case by yourself in the future, I will not accompany you!

Ji Zirang: Hey, won't you teach me how to visit brothels?

Zhao Wood: Get the hell out of here!

【Guo Family】

Guo Xunli: [Push the door but it won't open] Zhao Wood, why did you bolt the door?

Zhao Wood: zzzzzz

Guo Xunli: Zhao Wood, you open the door quickly, I know you are not asleep. [Harassing knocking on the door] If you don't open it, I'll keep knocking. When the time comes, grandma and the others will be recruited. I'll see how you explain it to everyone.

Zhao Wood: [Open the door] Yo, Master Guo Er, I thought you wouldn't come back to sleep tonight.

Guo Xunli: If I don't come back to sleep, where will I go to sleep?I didn't go far.

Zhao Wood: Juhua Building, drinking a little wine, hugged by a young lady, how comfortable it is to sleep.

Guo Xunli: So, you saw me in Juhua Building today?

Zhao Wood: Your little girl is pretty enough, how eye-catching in a crowd of people, can I not see you?Is it comfortable to serve you?

Guo Xunli: If you think too much, he just brought me something.If I really slept with him today, would I be here now?

Zhao Wood: Who knows if you were kicked out because you stopped lifting in the middle of your sleep?

Guo Xunli: Daoist Zhao is a god, you can count if I don’t lift it?That Taoist priest, you can't just ignore death and refuse to save him, just treat me.

Zhao Wood: Take care of yourself

Guo Xunli: [laughs] I really didn't touch him today. I went to Juhualou to collect the bill, and I asked the old bustard for two cans of wine, which happened to be given to me by the young lady.Hey, didn't I give you a glass of that wine the night before yesterday, do you still remember?

Zhao Wood: I don't remember

Guo Xunli: You don't remember, but I do. After you drank it, you became a monster and kept pestering me.

Zhao Wood: How can I have a house monster?That little face of hers is full of charm without drinking anything.

Guo Xunli: Oh!What a little vinegar bag.That's fine, if you still don't believe me, I'll write something to reassure you.

Zhao Wood: What?

Guo Xunli: I will write you a deed of sale and sign my name on it.

Zhao Wood: Why do I want you to sell yourself?

Guo Xunli: Am I afraid that you will be uneasy?You have my contract of sale, and I am yours, so what are you afraid of?Of course, I also have your contract of sale, if you hook up with Zhan Zhao again, I will sell you to Juhua Building.

Zhao Wood: How dare you

Guo Xunli: Zhao Wood, after I met you, I haven't found anyone else. Now I only have you in my heart.What are those young men in the brothel? They are not half as good as you.

Zhao Wood: You still have vision, Ji Zirang's eyes must be blurred.

Guo Xunli: Ji Zirang?Is that your virgin colleague?Why are you so easy to mention him?Could it be that you are against him...

Zhao Wood: You just have to be 1 worried about this. I have high eyesight and I don't like him.Look at him, if you want money, you don’t have money, and if you want physical strength, you don’t have physical strength. Sometimes I chase a thief with him, and he can rest 20 times on the way.Not as good as you at all.

Guo Xunli: Oh, Taoist priest, this misunderstanding has been explained clearly, please fix it for me