[guard]

I looked at the watch and it was ten o'clock. After my son fell asleep, I kept smoking in the living room. I never thought that divorce would have such consequences. Comrades have to pay such a high price for this road. There is no way, no matter what decision I make, someone will hate me for the rest of my life.

The phone rang, and when I saw Fatty Liu calling, I hesitated, what should I tell him?I was still hesitating until the ringtone stopped. When the ringtone rang again, I pressed the answer absentmindedly.

"Miao... Miao... are you there?"

I didn't make a sound, I must be drunk listening to Liu Guodong's voice, he didn't hear me, "Miao...I feel bad..."

"Fatty Liu...I..."

"Miao... What's the matter with you, are you angry with me? I won't drink next time..." He was so drunk and still worried about whether I was angry or not.

"My ex-wife...something happened, and I'm taking care of her and her son at her house...I..."

"Oh... I'm coming to find you now..."

"No need for Fatty Liu, take care of yourself..."

"Oh... I'll wait for you at home..."

"Then I'll hang up first." The moment I hung up the phone, I seemed to hear Liu Guodong's twitching voice, and I made him feel uncomfortable again, right?

I don't know what I can do at this moment. I only know that Xianshu and her son need me. I should put everything aside and take good care of this 'home'. I lit a cigarette, my mind went blank, and I was in a daze...

The doorbell rang, and it was almost eleven o'clock when I looked at my watch. How could someone come so late?Could it be that Fatty Liu really couldn't help running over?I opened the door, and what I saw was not Liu Guodong but Yan Jiasheng, and I was stunned.He is holding on to a one-handed crutch. He still has short hair, a plump face, and eyes covered by silver-rimmed glasses that are more energetic than before. His figure has not changed much from before, and he is still so plump, maybe Said that he will always be so good-looking and so attractive to me in my heart.

After a long time... "Brother Sheng?"

"Can I come in?" His question made me feel that he and I were quite strange.

I didn't speak, and motioned sideways for him to enter the room. I purposely looked outside the door to see if there was Zhen Xinhua behind me. Fortunately, I couldn't see anyone else.I closed the door and followed Yan Jiasheng. He stood in the middle of the hall and looked at the house. He seemed to be someone who had been away for a long time and came back. He suddenly said, "Have you seen it? Nothing has changed...Xian Shu really Very good... really good..."

"Why are you here so late?" I couldn't help asking.

"I know you must be here..." Yan Jiasheng turned his head and looked at me. I felt anger, regret and helplessness in his eyes.

He said I must be here, and I was quite speechless, "Has it become your habit to find a private detective to follow me?"

"I didn't..." He denied it, and a few seconds later he said, "I came here as soon as I got off the plane yesterday. You know that there are more important people you need to take care of, and you thought he would know the importance. When I came here and saw all this, my heart ached... I really ached... If I had known that I would not have helped him, he was not worthy of love you…"

Hearing Yan Jiasheng talk about Fatty Liu, I couldn't hold back my anger, "I don't know what you are talking about, and please don't talk about Liu Guodong, he will never understand my good outsider."

Yan Jiasheng stared at me with wide eyes. His unique domineering and majestic spirit made me fear from the bottom of my heart. At this moment, he is more like an elder I respect, and I fearfully wait for his scolding.After a few minutes of silence, he let out a long sigh, "Miao, love is not a temporary possession, but an eternal protection..."

His words made me cry. I took two tissues and took off my glasses to wipe my tears. I didn’t cry because I thought what he said was so reasonable and touching. I cried because of myself. Isn't everything you do to protect him?What was the final result?

"Do you know? You didn't understand. How panicked I was when I thought you really lost your memory? I was afraid that you would completely forget our memories. I was afraid that you really forgot me. When I thought your legs were no longer How much I worry about you because I can’t take care of myself? I even thought that I am not qualified to take care of you for the rest of my life. How heartbroken I am? How sad am I when I see the people I love suffer every day but I can’t do anything? Jiasheng, I’m tired, I I'm really tired, I don't have the energy to love you and protect you anymore." This is the first time in my life that I called him Jiasheng.

He pursed his lips, endured it and gave up, tears dripped from the corners of his eyes, "I don't understand? I understand everything, and do you know how depressed I have endured all these years? When I was studying in Guangzhou, I I already know that your kindness to me has surpassed the feelings between brothers. At that time, I thought it was an illusion caused by my abnormality. It was not until I went to Wuhan and Chen Xinhua turned me into a real comrade that I realized that the one I love It was you, when you came to Wuhan to pull me back from the brink of collapse, you rode a tricycle to help me pay off my debts for my education, I found that I liked you more and more, I was afraid that I would kill you for the rest of my life, as long as you didn’t take that step You still have a choice. So I asked Chen Xinhua to come over to anger you on the day of graduation, and the result that day was that you love me too much, so that you can get rid of the guilt like me in the future, so pretend you don’t know anything, and I will come back with you Yanjiacun married Lin Xiufeng."

"Obviously a comrade, knowing that I love you, why didn't you give me a chance so many times? Does this situation have to be called love?"

"Comrades have to bear multiple pressures, haven't you realized for so many years? I just don't want you to go the way I have walked. I pretended to have amnesia because we all have families and children, and we just want to live like this forever. At least the two of us were the only ones who were tortured. Look now... I asked Chen Xinhua to pick me up. I only hoped that you could coax Xianshu back. Anyway, nothing happened between us. Why are you stupid enough to admit that you want a divorce? "It turned out that he was well-intentioned, but I didn't feel anything. For more than 20 years, I blamed myself for why I liked him. In an instant, I became a sinner through the ages.

"I'm sorry! Brother Sheng!"

"You're not sorry for me, you're sorry for Xianshu, you're sorry for your two sons!"

I looked at him with tears, but he didn’t speak anymore. We have been protecting each other for more than [-] years, but we still gave everything, but I lost myself. Yan Jiasheng wiped away his tears, put on his glasses, opened the door, limped away and left , in the living room, I just want to cut myself into pieces.