dance like a butterfly

I can't understand more, Lao Han loves me.

When he put me in his heart again and again, I couldn't help but be moved.However, while being moved, it also made me feel as if I was tightly wrapped in the bed, and I couldn't breathe.

"Brother, will I be safe if I stay at home? Will not even a single hair fall out?".

I never wanted to be a canary in a cage.

I know that there are many young people in the gay circle who rely on their appearance to eat their youth. They do nothing all day long, and they spend all day by their "brothers", either drinking in bars or in high-end clothing stores. Shopping.Does Lao Han also want me to be a pet he keeps in a cage?Could it be that he couldn't see my character in the past interactions?

"You're arguing, why are you so indifferent?"

Feeling that good intentions are not rewarded, Lao Han immediately felt uncomfortable when he saw me puffing my beard and staring.

"I have hands and feet, I like my current job! Don't expect me to listen to you this time!", I stiffened my neck, even though I stopped looking at him, my anger still burst out .

His increasingly ugly face made me fall into exhaustion.I don't want to quarrel with him anymore, it's too exhausting and hurtful.

"Why are you so stubborn, kid? Am I trying to harm you?"

"I'm stubborn? Why am I so stubborn? You don't even discuss with me about such a big matter, so you go to our minister and tell me, do you know what I'm thinking?"

Unable to bear it, I raised my voice again.

"Discuss with you? Hmph! Do I need to discuss with you? Don't look at you all day in the society, but what do you know?"

Perhaps no one had contradicted him like this for a long time. Lao Han's not-so-big eyes immediately widened, and his face turned red.

"It's okay if I don't know anything, I just want to know a little bit, I'm the master of my affairs!"

This sentence of Lao Han made me angry.I didn't plan to blush with him, but his blurted words made me feel that he was denying my various abilities.I can no longer bear Lao Han's domineering look.

"You call the shots? You can be a shit!"

Lao Han almost jumped up violently.

Seeing Lao Han's vicious look, I dare not speak back.

Lao Han has never swearing in front of me like this.This time, like a red-eyed rooster, he swooped forward with his chest, and his head almost pressed against my face. I clearly felt his hot breath and the fine spit.

I feel sad like never before.My God, is it reasonable to have a loud voice?

"Are you dissatisfied in your heart? I didn't hurt you by asking you to quit this job. Why are you like this?"

Of course I don't accept it, don't you want to cover the sky with one hand? !It's true that you didn't harm me, but why don't you take my feelings into consideration?

"Didn't you agree with me before? In this family, I am the head of the family. Now you have regretted it, haven't you?"

I didn't go back on my word, what's wrong with the parents?Parents don't want democracy?What do you take me for?

"Why don't you tell good from bad, baby? Do you understand what I'm thinking? Try me instead!"

I didn't say a word, and Lao Han asked and chattered like a cannonball, which suddenly made me feel very helpless.There is a gap between me and Lao Han, which is a problem I have always ignored before: there are nearly 20 years between us, and there are so many different views on life!Although I love him so much, and felt so happy before, now it seems that it is the rope that binds me so firmly. It binds me, so that I don't know how to defend myself loudly. Do not hurt the feelings between us.

"Are you dumb? Talk!"

Old Han came to pull my shoulder.

I gritted my teeth and said nothing.

I don't think what I say now can change Lao Han's mind immediately.Perhaps all stubborn mature men are like this. His set of life philosophy has long been formed in the years of tempering, and it has already been deeply ingrained in his mind.According to his attitude, even if we quarrel until dawn, there will be no result.

I stood up slowly, pushed him away, went to the wall and opened the cabinet.Old Han was stunned for a moment, seeing me hastily changed clothes and took my bag, he suddenly understood something, he stepped forward and grabbed my wrist.

"What do you want to do? Do you want to go back to Hua County? Or do you want to go to the old left of Yuxiangmen?"

His hand is so strong that my wrist hurts.I glared at him.I'm not crazy, no matter how good old Zuo is, can I go to him at this time?Back to Hua County!Is there still a car at this time?Just take a taxi back, isn't it so noisy that Dad can't rest in peace?I am not a child.

"Speak, if you don't speak, you will suffocate me to death!"

Old Han looked at me fiercely.

I spoke?Will you listen to me when I speak?Do I need to say more?I can't afford you, can't I avoid you?I'm going to live in a hotel!

"Don't stop me, if you stop me again, I will turn against you!"

I don't give him a good face!

"Hey, let's see if you can get it! You still turn against me, you are really promising!" Old Han suddenly laughed.

I was stunned, I really couldn't tell whether his smile was a wry smile or something else.I have been with him for so long, and I have never seen such endless tricks from him.It seems that my previous understanding of him is too thin!Involuntarily, I thought of the weird pair of shorts he bought me and his "punishment" when I came home from the hospital.Again I felt a little out of touch with him.

"What's wrong? I don't dare to turn against you? Who do you think you are? Heavenly king and old man?"

Seeing him soften, I started talking back again.

"I'm not the king of heaven, Lao Tzu, listen carefully! I'm your brother! I'm your brother who will take care of you for the rest of his life!" Old Han handed over the bag from me, and when he stretched out his hand again, I was pushed away by him. sit on the bed. "I think you don't need to clean up! You try to turn your face on me, you think we are children playing house and playing together? If you want to play, play for a while, if you don't want to play, pat your butt and leave? You What do you want to play about running away from home? What do you want to make me look for you all over the world? You are not afraid of killing me? You don’t even think about how old you are? Are you still playing this little girl-in-law’s embarrassing trick? Are you Do you still want to go back to your mother's house and cry?"

It’s fine if Lao Han doesn’t say anything, but I also feel that what I said just now was a bit too much and a bit ridiculous.Isn't this also my home?Where can I go now?Who can tell others about this kind of quarrel?Can you speak it out?In the end, didn't he get sulking with himself, and didn't it just make Lao Han feel uneasy?It is not unheard of to punish others after ruining oneself, which is thankless for both parties.Don't you have to bear the consequences in the end?

The second sister-in-law will arrive in Xi'an tomorrow, if she can't see me, don't worry about dying!Thinking of this, I am very frustrated.

"Don't be stubborn, listen to brother, brother is for you, not harming you!" Seeing me like a discouraged ball, Lao Han's tone slowed down.

"What are you doing for me? You let me do nothing, I will be suffocated to death!", I muttered in a low voice.

"Did I tell you not to let you do things?" Lao Han complained.

"You asked me to quit my job, what did you ask me to do? You think my job is not safe, what do you say is safe? Isn't the life of a person arranged by God long ago? Isn't there an old saying—— "The King of Hades tells you to die at the third watch, and will never keep you at the fifth watch"! Some people have short lives, and they die as they please. If you were hit by a car and died, can you live forever if you stay at home?"

"Speak carefully, did you take the wrong medicine?" Old Han's tone became severe again, "You child, why do you talk about your work like this! You say you don't want to quit, tell me You have any reason!"

"I said it, but it's the same as if I didn't say it. In your eyes, what I said is not the same as farting? You are the head of the family!" I rolled my eyes and said in a helpless tone .

"It's up to you whether you talk or not, and it's up to me whether you listen. But you have to say it!"

"Okay, let me tell you what time."

"I'm listening!"

"I love this job. I can't lose it!"

"What's the reason?"

"It suits my personality. I can travel all over the world and see all the beautiful scenery in the world. It is easy, free and rewarding."

"You have traveled all over the world, and you don't even think about what I should do? It's hard to have you, is it the same as no one?! You have been walking for dozens of days, and I can't see your face twice a day at home. , I worry about your safety at home all day, what kind of life am I living! The accident almost killed me last time, I was really scared! Nothing happened, just in case you meet outside If you find a person more desirable than me, what will I do if you leave with him? The return is high? Are you short of food and clothing now? Afraid that I won’t let you spend my money? Afraid that I will abuse you? No matter what you say The hype is falling, this job of yours must be resigned to me!"

I was dumbfounded and shocked at the same time!

When I didn’t live with Lao Han, that is, during the time I lived with Lao Zuo, I didn’t think about love and marriage so realistically, even though I said more than once that I would give everything for Lao Han. When Han showed his ideas and practices without any concealment, I don't know why, but I feel unwilling!

Could it be that I imagined love too simply?Do I really not know what obligations and responsibilities I should assume now?Or am I nostalgic for the free and easy days after the novelty of the first love stage?At this moment, I really don't know how to prove that I am not just scratching the surface of gay marriage!

Yes, Lao Han is not wrong.Although it sounds selfish, there is nothing wrong with his request of me, and I don't want to miss Lao Han in this life.But how can I give up a job that I love and that pays quite well?If Lao Han really doesn't budge, what should I do?

I don't know, I was called stupid by Lao Han.

"You are not young anymore, you can no longer do things according to your temper. You are no longer the bachelor who fed the whole family by yourself! Listen to me, I will not harm you, I will change jobs for you!"

It seems that Lao Han is determined. In his opinion, there is no room for maneuver in this matter.On the one hand, I love Lao Han deeply, and if I quarrel with him, I can't leave him.But if I don't leave him, I have to listen to him, he is my brother!On the other hand, I stick to my principles and absolutely don't want to cling to him for food and clothing for the rest of my life.I got a taste of the dilemma.

Lao Han's purpose is quite clear, but seeing me uncompromising, there is no better way for a while.We suddenly fell silent and stalemate in the room.

Suddenly, a very loud Qinqiang brand tune rang out in the room.I looked at the small alarm clock on the bedside table, it was almost eleven o'clock, who is still calling Lao Han?

Lao Han picked up the mobile phone on the bedside table, looked at the calling number, glanced at me quickly, hesitated for a moment, he didn't answer or hang up, and put the phone on the cabinet again.

Lao Han is really strange tonight, not only has he never been so fierce to me before, but he rarely even looks at the phone so uneasy.The phone rang very persistently, and a long brand song rang, and it rang again without any interval.

I gave him a strange look, then looked at the phone.

"It's Lao Lin!" Lao Han said to me in a low voice, his unnatural expression was clearly like a child who had done something wrong.

"Which old Lin? Lin Wenlong?"

I am amazed.