dance like a butterfly

That night, in Lao Han's arms, I quickly fell asleep.

My dreams have also been very hazy.In my dreams, I always see my old Han looking anxiously at the bottom of the mountain alone, repeatedly looking towards the way he came from.I know, that is the man I am not familiar with more than 20 years ago, he is watching love, waiting for Chen Hanzhang.He is waiting for an expectation, hoping that Chen Hanzhang can give him a satisfactory agreement, and he can keep the agreement without breaking his promise.

After waiting for so long, after experiencing countless times of torture, when I was injured, what I waited for was not the love I was longing for.With a trauma, my old Han had no choice but to resolutely choose demobilization full of disappointment.

On this winter night, my old Han put his chin against my forehead and hugged me so tightly, as if I was afraid that I would be snatched away again.Lao Han kept his eyes open in the dark until I fell asleep soundly and deeply in his arms.

The next day, Lao Han still got up very early.

I don't know when he put on his clothes. Before he left, he gently touched my face and said, "Xiaohui, you should sleep a little longer. It's still snowing heavily outside. After you get up, make some for yourself." Let’s eat. There are milk and eggs in the refrigerator, and my brother put the crystal cakes on the dining table for you.”

I didn't open my eyes under the quilt, and stretched out my arms to touch his head and embrace his neck: "You should sleep a little longer, you slept late last night, and you still have to wake up so early!"

"Brother will be able to accompany you well when the children go to school. Be good, be obedient, remember to eat something when you wake up."

Old Han left.Although I was still sleepy, it was difficult to fall asleep again.Not to mention that Haohao is still young, but Meimei is eccentric, and she doesn't know how long she can hide these two children.Judging from Meimei’s intentional or unintentional conversations with me, she has clearly told me that she does not want her father to be gay, and she does not want to see us united forever.

Thinking of this, my heart tugged.I was so aggrieved that I even thought of going to Meimei and telling her that you should stop guessing, the two of us are a pair of comrades!What's the matter comrade?You are also a college student, you should understand how hard it is for me and your dad!

Thinking of this, I was frightened by myself again.It is true that I am very satisfied now, because I know that Lao Han needs me, but even though I don't want to live in this depression for no reason, what else can I do?Since Lao Han has chosen to remain unchanged in response to all changes, wouldn't it make things more complicated if I continue to mess around?Wouldn't it annoy him even more?Alas, bear with it for now, I hope we can come to the end of our hardships!

Lai smoked a cigarette on the bed, remembering what Lao Zuo said about my house being handed over today, I hurriedly called him.

"Brother, are you up?", I glanced at the small clock beside the bed, it was 06:30, he should have woken up with a very regular life.

"I got up early, why are you so early today? Where's Lao Han?" Lao Zuo smiled over there.

"Don't talk about him."

"Oh", Lao Zuo's voice lowered, showing helplessness and depression.

"So what are you doing today?", I asked.

"You'd better come here earlier, take a look and tidy up, he will be here in a while."

"Where are you now?"

"I'm at your house. I just came here. Look at how you clean up your computer and other things. Clean up everything you need." I really didn't expect that Lao Zuo went there early Yuxiang Gate.

"Look at it and deal with it. Those things are not worth a lot of money. I have taken everything that should be taken."

"What about the bedding?"

"No! How about this, I'll go over now, let's talk about it when we meet."

"Okay." Lao Zuo hung up the phone.

Leaving Yuxiangmen, where I have lived for three years, in this way, thinking that I have spent almost all of my savings for this two-bedroom apartment, I have indescribable feelings and reluctance in my heart.Well, that's it, ending a past event and putting a punctuation mark on a life is a process that is constantly repeated in life.

When I got out of the stairs, I was surprised to see that the heavy snow was still flying.I don't know what's the matter this year, it's especially dry and cold, and the snow is falling endlessly.The snow on the ground was almost ten centimeters, and the whole gray morning was extremely cold against the background of heavy snow.

The vehicles on the road drive very slowly and carefully, the snowflakes are still falling silently, and continue to spread a thick powder makeup on the world, the sound of the wheels rolling over the snow is so crisp, and the faint fragrance is intertwined Refreshing the mind in the cold.

Because of the snow, it was almost nine o'clock when we arrived at Yuxiang Gate.No need to pick up the key, knock on the door, the door opened, Lao Zuo smiled and said: "Come in, come in and get warm." With this tone, I really am no longer the owner of this house.

"My relative will be here in a while. Just now he called me and said that he was queuing up at the bank. There were a lot of people withdrawing money early this morning." The old man held a towel in his left hand while wiping the melted snow on my hair , while patting the snowflakes on my back shoulder.

I grabbed the towel from his hand and said, "I'll come, I'll come."

I must admit that since the last time I kissed Lao Zuo involuntarily as if I had lost my soul, I began to be very afraid that he would touch me too much.In my heart, although the understanding of Lao Zuo has changed considerably, I don't want him to occupy any space of love in my heart.Although Lao Zuo in my eyes is no longer the Lao Zuo who made me hate him so much, I don't want the touch he brought me to shake the love I promised Lao Han.

Lao Zuo stood aside, watching me with a smile on my face as I beat the snowflakes.The moment I lowered my head, I could still strongly feel the scorching attention from his eyes.I blushed, looked at the fish tank behind him and asked, "Could it be that you and your relatives bought the house, and you paid for it yourself?"

"No, my relative actually used it for his child's wedding." Old Zuo panicked.

"You're lying to me!".I looked at Lao Zuo.His tone remained firm: "Why am I lying to you? Besides, I don't have that much money."

"You really didn't lie to me?"

"Xiaohui, why would I lie to you, even if I don't lie again, I won't lie to you."

I have always been uneasy.If Lao Zuo really wants to buy this house, I will never sell it to him, no matter how high the price he pays.Thinking about this house, Lao Zuo can let his relatives pay 18 yuan, I really made a lot of money.Back then, I only spent more than 11 yuan, and I lived in it for less than three years, and I made a lot of money!

Lao Zuo walked around the house following my ass, and asked after a while, do you want a fish tank?I'll ask you later if you want the refrigerator and air conditioner.No, how about this, I will give you 1 yuan first, you take it first, I will deal with these things for you later, and I will replenish you if you have more.

"I don't want your money either, I'll talk about it later when you deal with it." I turned around and said to Lao Zuo.Yaxin Garden has everything, and everything is new. "How about this, give these things to your relatives, the rent he paid is really not low."

"Aren't you waiting to use the money? A penny more is better than a penny less. Why should he be cheap? You don't think you can make money now, but you will experience it when it is difficult for you to make money in the future.", Old Zuo muttered beside him.

"Hey, why are you turning your elbows outward, isn't he your relative?" I glanced at him.

"Hey, you're still my brother." Lao Zuo scratched the back of his head embarrassingly.

Just as I was chatting, I heard a knock on the door, and Lao Zuo's relative came.

Since everyone has no objections, the delivery becomes very easy.I wrote an agreement, everyone signed it, and I handed over the land certificate and real estate certificate I brought to the other party. I received 17.5 yuan in cash and wrote a receipt to the other party.

All that is left is to go to the notary office for notarization.

When I arrived at the notary office, I realized how popular Lao Zuo was.The head of the notary office turned out to be a comrade-in-arms of Lao Zuo, and the notaries under him seemed to have met Lao Zuo, and they all greeted Lao Zuo respectfully.

"Old Zuo, is this handsome guy your younger brother?"Director Zhang of the notary office took a look at me, "Your old Zuo is really capable, even a godbrother looks so pleasing to the eye!"

"Stop talking nonsense, hehe, hurry up and do something. My brother has other things to do. I'll treat you to a good meal another day." Old Zuo smiled.

"Okay, okay, but let me tell you, I don't eat rice without abalone. This time you made me miserable." Director Zhang patted Lao Zuo on the shoulder and laughed.

Director Zhang asked two notaries to take us to notarize the documents, and things went smoothly beyond ordinary.

After leaving the notary office, thinking that I might not have many chances to see Lao Zuo again, suddenly, I felt a little empty in my heart.There was a special feeling in my heart, as if suddenly I lost a priceless gem, it was always by my side but I turned a blind eye to it and always regarded it as a lump of mud.

"Brother, let me treat everyone to a meal, okay?"

I just remembered now that since the time I met Lao Zuo, I invited him to dinner, and I took the initiative to pay the bill during the quarrel at the True Love Bar. I have never spent a penny on Lao Zuo.Although in order to conceal my rural origin, I have spent countless times "treating money like dung", but when dealing with the old left, I was extraordinarily stingy.He has done so much for me, I don't even celebrate a birthday for him!Not to mention taking the initiative to invite him to dinner once.

Taking everything from him has become a habit of mine, and this habit has already paralyzed my nerves!

"What? You invited me to dinner? Xiaohui, is this true?" Lao Zuo could hardly believe his ears.

"What's the matter, a meal, worth such a fuss?" I was ashamed of what I had done before.

"Forget it, brother still won't go."

"Why?", I was very surprised, in the past, Lao Zuo was not like this.

Old Zuo turned around and said to his relatives: "You go first, I have a word with my brother."

The relative smiled humbly, laughed exaggeratedly at us, and turned away.

"Xiaohui, thank you brother. I won't eat, so I will walk with you, okay?" Lao Zuo didn't look at me, but looked at the gray sky that no longer had snowflakes.

I couldn't refuse Lao Zuo's request, and walked north along Taibai Road side by side with him.Lao Zuo walked very slowly, as if something big would happen if he went a little faster.

"Xiaohui, you have grown up." He smiled and looked up at me.

"is it?"

"You are no longer willful."

"Really?" I don't know why Lao Zuo suddenly felt that I had grown up.I have a lot to say to Lao Zuo in my heart, but I am afraid that every word will arouse unnecessary sadness.

"Be nice to Lao Han, don't be as self-willed as before. It's not easy to find someone you like in your life. There is only one person in this world who can make you willing to risk your life for him. "

On the snow under my feet, I don't know how many footprints of walkers are left. I walk in places that no one else has stepped on. My shoes are very clean.

In the words of Lao Zuo, this is the first time Lao Zuo persuaded me to treat Lao Han like this, which made me feel more sad: "Brother, I have really sorry for you these two years, and I also know that I have hurt you a lot, I hope You can forgive me!"

I went to hold his hand, his hand was inserted into the down jacket, the palm was thick and warm.I thought he would keep my hand in his palm the entire time, however, I miscalculated.He just took out his gloves and put them on carefully for me, just like putting on a wedding dress for one of his relatives.

"Xiaohui, don't quarrel with Lao Han in the future. Quarrels will not only hurt others, but also yourself. As long as you and Lao Han can be happy, brother will be very happy." Lao Zuo stopped and helped me turn up the collar .

I believe that no one on the road will think that we are a pair of comrades who have lived together. At most, some people will envy me for having such a good brother.In front of the real old left, I am ridiculously like a child who will never grow up.

"Will you remarry her?" He knew who I was talking about.

"I haven't thought about it that way yet."

"Then what will you do next?"

"Me?" Lao Zuo smiled wryly: "Walk while walking." Although the words were relaxed, the loneliness and sadness that drifted from the eyes did not escape my eyes.

I couldn't control myself anymore, and hugged him in my arms: "Brother, brother...", I called brother twice, but I couldn't say anything, I lay on his shoulder, I didn't cry, Tears poured down like a flood flooding the sluice.

Lao Zuo was quickly infected by me. No matter how hard he pretended, no matter how hard-hearted he was, he couldn't stop hugging me tightly at this moment. While patting my back, his chest and throat couldn't stop making noises.

Suddenly, Lao Zuo broke away from my shoulders: "Why are you crying? Brother should be happy for you, and you should also be happy for finding a new life for yourself. You have to listen to what Brother says. You are an adult. You can see that everyone on the road will read it." Let's go."

With tears in my eyes, I saw Lao Zuo turned his back and wiped his tears.When he turned around, although he was already smiling, the forced laughter made me even more sad.

"Go back, don't make Lao Han wait for a long time, and don't let him guess randomly." Lao Zuo took out a handkerchief and handed it to me, he didn't want to wipe my tears again.

"You know everything? Do you know where I live? Do you know what I do with this money?" I asked him while wiping my tears and nose.

"I know. You did the right thing. You should give him the money. People who don't accept money from others will always be strong in front of others. Brother understands you."

"But how do you know?", I wondered.

Old Zuo smiled and didn't speak.A green Beverly was driving slowly, Lao Zuo stretched out his hand, and the car stopped.

Lao Zuo stuffed me into the car: "Chengbei, Yaxinyuan Community," he said to the driver.

As soon as the car started, he suddenly shouted: "Xiaohui!"

The driver slowed down, and I rolled down the window glass: "Brother, what's the matter?"

Lao Zuo suddenly seemed to have been hit by someone, his face twitched, and he wanted to say something, but he didn't say anything after all, he waved his hand: "It's nothing, you, let's go."

The car drove a long way, and I turned my head. Lao Zuo was standing alone on the snow, like a tree stump, facing the north.