dance like a butterfly

After Lao Han left, he didn't call for two days.

Like we never knew each other.

I fell into an inexplicable anxiety again.When we first met, I planned to give him up, and I had already thrown away the old Han's phone number given to me by Northwest Wolf.But when I met him again by accident, I suspected that it was arranged by God.Then I reawakened my affection for Lao Han. Before I knew it, my defense line was broken by him. My ignorant arrogance was ridiculously childish in front of Lao Han. At that time, he suddenly had no more news.

In the past two days, except for going to the company once, I have hardly gone out.

In my boredom, I sorted out all my summer clothes.

What should be washed, what should be ironed, and finally packed in a special box. When I was doing these things, I was always in a daze. When my mind was a little distracted, I saw old Han Qing's stubbled chin, He was smiling with his eyes closed.

I was really bored, so I turned on the computer, watched the sports news, and then read the novels of the same text. After reading and reading, I found that I didn’t read anything. I was about to turn off the computer, and the Northwest Wolf greeted me on QQ.

"Zuiwo Huaxi, hello. I haven't seen you for a few days."

"Hello, Northwestern Wolf."

"The last time I called you, did you contact that person?"

I thought for a while and said, "I have a friend now, and I don't want to contact him."

"Hehe, I heard that that person is very nice. He is very rich, he knows how to love others, and he is generous in his actions. It's a pity that you don't contact me."

I asked him, "It's so good, are you willing to introduce it to me?"

The Northwest Wolf hesitated for a long time before saying, "We are not suitable."

I think the Northwest Wolf may be a person who knows the details of Lao Han, so he is interested in continuing to chat with him. However, he is very cunning. He only said that he met Lao Han once, and he didn't know anything else. In the end, he gave Lao Han's phone number And the name was sent to me again, said goodbye, and ran away.

I smiled wryly and shook my head.

I have been playing with the chain that Lao Han gave me for a long time.

The action of Lao Han putting on the necklace for me was very clumsy. Presumably he has never put things on others so carefully before?I couldn't help thinking, did he wear it for his wife?When I think of what he said about getting along with his wife like that, it must be gone.

He said that he had been in contact with other comrades before.So, is his relationship with the Northwest Wolf really just a one-off meeting as the Northwest Wolf said?

I spent a day and a night in a state of mindless thinking.

Strangely, Old Han kept showing up in my dreams.

He hugged me so tightly and kissed me so desperately.We held hands and walked up the mountain, getting higher and higher, until we reached the top of the mountain and there was no way.There is a big peach tree on the top of the mountain. There is not a leaf on the tree, and the branches are full of palm-sized peach blossoms. Lao Han said, Xiaohui, standing under the peach tree is really the effect of a jade tree facing the wind.Later, I saw many butterflies flying over. Why were there so many butterflies? They were all as big as a bowl, so I said to Lao Han: Let’s catch butterflies and see which one is Zhu Yingtai and which one is Liang Shanbo.Lao Han was very excited when he heard that.As soon as I stretched out my hand, there were so many butterflies, and the last one was left, which landed on the finger of the peach tree.Old Han said, Xiaohui, brother will definitely catch it for you.Lao Han let me hold his coat, and he went to catch it with his shirt off. Seeing that the butterfly didn’t move, he was about to catch it. Lao Han’s foot slipped and fell towards the cliff. As if, she reached out to grab him, but only grabbed his smooth fingers, and watched him fall into the cliff.Old Han's voice was still coming weakly: "Xiaohui—Xiaohui save me—"

I cried a lot, I was the only one left on the top of the mountain, without Lao Han, my heart was as empty as a basket, crying and crying, I woke up.

I just realized that this dream made me break out in a cold sweat.

I don't understand how I could have such a dream.

In order to calm the mood, I unscrewed the speaker, and the music sounded. It was Xu Meijing's "Boundary 1999"

eyes with messages

sink my heart

farewell to the century you loved me

block your memory

I also broke my longing and wandered away

sky of love and pain

How to face the millennium of loneliness after parting

every day

engraved with heavy thoughts

Say goodbye to the last glimpse in this dreamland

Waking up makes me split and split again

maybe later

sleeping in nightmare

maybe miss the joy of tomorrow

maybe sunshine

Abandon this bitter forest

like my night without you

maybe later

intoxicated in sadness

maybe as long as

cold comfort

forgot you

The city becomes a lonely scrap metal

Bury this decadent and wild season

????????

I feel scared, really I have never had such a dream, sweet or painful, such a dream is terrible.

I was restless and wanted to call him, fearing that it would affect him. If I didn't call, who else could I call?Except for gay friends, others are not allowed to fight.The only people in the industry who I know and know well are the old left.

But I would rather drive myself crazy than call Lao Zuo with even one word.

When you were young, if you fell in love with someone, please, then please treat him well.No matter what the ending is, after many years, when you look back on the past, there will be no regrets in your heart, just like the quiet full moon on the hill.

When I was a student, I liked this sentence in Xi Murong's "Youth Without Complaint".I have always been looking forward to the early arrival of the person I like, and walked through youth and four seasons with me.However, after a thousand sails, I never waited for this person to appear side by side with me under the Zirotten Waterfall on the summer campus, or in the corner of the hill in Nuoda behind the winter school. This person will never appear in my life so far.

After graduating from a normal school, I taught Chinese in a rural middle school. Two years of teaching life made me unable to bear the restriction of my active personality.Although my students often won many awards in various regional subject competitions, and even though the students I brought often won most of the awards in district-level composition competitions, I still rejected the school's many sincere attempts to retain me, left my hometown, and arrived in Beijing. In Xi'an, I applied for a salesman in a chemical company.

Due to work, I travel a lot.But whenever the night falls, whenever it rains and snows, whenever the flowers fade away, there is an inexplicable restlessness from the bottom of my heart, which makes me hot and unbearable. In Korla, Xinjiang, I was tempted by a teacher of the Han people, and I knew that, Turns out he was gay.

It was only then that I realized that I had been waiting for a man, a middle-aged man with a bright personality and rich connotations, who would open the shackles in my heart.

I began to examine my childhood dreams repeatedly, thinking about that piece of peach blossoms, and who that man was. I thought that in the dark, God had already arranged my destiny for me.Now that I believe in fate, I thought, that person will definitely appear, it's just a matter of time.

I've also been guessing who that person is.Just last night, I dreamed of Peach Blossom again, and I couldn't help but think, besides Lao Han, who else is the person I am waiting for in my dream?

He didn't call me, although I was puzzled, but my feeling was that he must have something to get out of it.It is not easy for a village head to put aside his busy work and stay with me for almost two full days.As the old saying goes, "it is easy to find a priceless quilt, but it is rare to find a lover".He speaks so clearly and does everything in this way, and I still scold him, isn't it too unreasonable and unreasonable?

Thinking about it this way made me feel a lot more comfortable.I plan to deal with a few clients tomorrow and go to the gold store to buy him a piece of jewelry. It's definitely not my personality to come and go.At this moment, I thought of Lao Zuo.Since he wanted to associate with Lao Han, how would he deal with Lao Zuo's affairs?

Thinking of Lao Zuo, my mood suddenly fell.

Ever since I met Lao Zuo, I am ready to forget about him completely.I didn't intend to have any contact with Lao Zuo at all.Less than half an hour after I got home, I received a very sensational text message from him:

"A wave splashed on the reef, I forgot to bless, a shooting star streaked across the sky, I forgot to make a wish, a story was only told once, I missed listening. But those are so unimportant compared with you, little Hui, all I want is that I won’t miss you in this life.”

At that time, I didn't care about this fatal text message. I smiled and didn't reply him. I even deleted Lao Zuo's phone number.I think, since everyone needs sexual satisfaction, it should be treated as a game, why take it too seriously?

I found out later that I was completely wrong.In this life, a person must pay the price for his sloppyness, and you have to bear the responsibility, whether you like it or not.